Saving Us by Wendy Million
Chapter Sixteen
“What are you doing?” Sebastian asked from the sectional.
The more time Annika spent at the frat house, the more time he spent here. He came to get his car and never left. Today was the only day during the week when they didn’t have practice, and he’d put himself to work for me. Again. So far, he’d fixed the running toilet and unclogged the drain in the shower.
“I’m trying to figure out how to access the student housing website to make a post,” I said from the kitchen table.
“You moving?”
“I hope not. Annika and Johnny are moving in together in January. I need a new roommate.”
Sebastian took a drink of the fruit punch I’d made and then said, “Yeah, Johnny mentioned he was hoping you’d agree.”
“Why’d they tell you before me?” A flare of annoyance ignited.
“Uh, probably because you called Annika’s boyfriend an abusive asshole who was standing at the gates of hell.” Sebastian chuckled.
“Hey now—most of those words never crossed my lips.” I held up a finger while I sent an email to student housing. Every single one had crossed my mind. I had to try harder to keep an open mind. “Johnny must think I’m a real bitch.”
“No comment.” He sipped his drink.
“He said that? He actually said that?” I asked in disbelief. Annika would defend me, wouldn’t she?
“No, he didn’t say it. He wouldn’t say it to her or to me. She’d whip him with her words, and I’d whip him with my fists.” He glanced at me over the couch. “But it’s pretty clear the dislike is mutual.”
“You’d beat him up for me?” The wrong piece to get stuck on since violence shouldn’t be appealing in any form. The sense of protectiveness warmed my chest against my will.
He held my gaze for a beat. “You’re my wing-woman and cock-blocker. I couldn’t function without you.”
I laughed and left the laptop on the kitchen table to sit beside him on the couch. He put his hand on my leg, and I gazed at his familiar face, enjoying him, here.
With a sigh, I said, “I don’t want a random for a roommate. But I smiled and pretended to be happy for Annika because apparently I’ve been the world’s worst friend the last few months.” I frowned. “Have I been the world’s worst friend?”
He gulped his fruit cocktail. “No, you have not. You might have gotten caught up in painting Johnny as the devil in disguise a couple times.”
Johnny’s temper in those two instances had been enough to raise my hackles and get my blood pumping. How could that much rage live in him and not spill out sometimes? Was it wrong for me to worry about Annika bearing the brunt of it?
Sebastian flipped to the news, and we watched the clips in silence. The lead story was about an NFL football player who’d been shot by his wife. He’d been beating her for years.
“Great timing.” He grimaced.
“Do you think someone suspect what was happening?” How could anyone realize and say nothing?
“Maybe. Hard to say.” He observed me out of the corner of his eye. “You’re going to hate me for saying this, but football organizations protect their own.”
“Even when their own are hurting someone else?” I raised my eyebrows. Now I’d wonder whether he was being honest with me about Johnny. “The world’s changing, you know.”
Sebastian laughed. “The world might be changing, but football isn’t. Not yet. This is the same organization that covered up the long-term impact of concussions for years. They understood what those head injuries were doing and did nothing.”
“Why do you play?” A sport where players suffered such lasting consequences for money shouldn’t be worthy of his love.
“It’s in my blood. I couldn’t quit, even if I wanted to. I gave up a lot to get here, to be this close to the NFL. Years with my dad in Bermuda, steady girlfriends, tight friendships—all of it for the game. The game comes before everything.”
“Worth it?”
He nodded. “So far, yeah. I gotta stay healthy, stay on the right side of the people who matter, and who knows? I could be in the NFL in a couple of years.”
“That’s the goal?”
“Since the moment I realized the NFL was a thing. Even before I was sure I could play.”
“I admire that.” And I meant it. “To be so sure of your path is impressive. You were what—thirteen—when you decided to start playing?”
“When I got serious, yeah. My parents’ divorce might have had something to do with my initial interest, not that I’ve ever said that out loud. For them the separation was easy, or at least they made it appear easy. Maybe it wasn’t. I’ve never asked. But for me and Kiara? It was hard. Life as we knew it was gone. I threw myself into football, she threw herself into school.”
“School?”
One side of his mouth quirked up. “She’s a criminal lawyer.”
I laughed. “You’re joking. Why didn’t you say that before?”
A hint of a smile. “You didn’t seem too fond of those types of lawyers.”
I gave him a wry look. “I might become one of those lawyers. Who knows?” I patted his thigh. “That’s so exciting, Sebastian.” I squeezed. “In Bermuda?”
“Yeah, she’s starting out. I’m proud of her.”
“Well, you should have told me.” I searched his face, pleased he gave me a piece of himself. “Do you want another drink?”
“Sure.” He handed me his empty glass.
I checked my email on the way to the couch, not that I expected student housing to respond to my inquiry outside office hours.
“Know anyone looking for a roommate?” I passed him his drink and slumped into the cushions beside him.
He tipped his cup up a few times and seemed to be considering his answer. “I know someone who could move in—they’re on a semester-by-semester contract at the place they live.”
“Who would do that kind of arrangement?” I asked, confused.
“Frat houses.” Sebastian took a gulp from his glass.
I stared at him. We were so close, and I wished I’d sat farther away. I’d gotten used to the feel of him against me and sitting far away from him had become more awkward than being side by side. Until now.
“Please tell me you’re not suggesting another football player moves in here?”
He chuckled at my panicked expression. “Just me, Nattie.”
“You?” I squeaked out.
He smiled, but it wasn’t with his usual confidence. “Am I that bad?”
“No, no, it’s…” I fumbled for the right words. “Well, how would that work, exactly?”
“I’d pay you rent, fix the little things that crop up, take Annika’s room, hang out with you excessively.”
Ideas ran through my brain, and they’d make me sound jealous. I wouldn’t cope with an endless parade of women heading in and out of his room. We weren’t dating, but seeing what he did when he wasn’t with me would crush me.
“Uh, well, we’re both single and maybe we might want to spend time with other people?” I tried to make the question appear as though I was concerned about myself. My heart thumped a heavy tune in my chest.
Sebastian frowned. “You said you weren’t into the one-night stand thing unless you were on vacation? Is that what we’re talking about?”
“Uh.” I stumbled. Somehow this conversation had turned in the wrong direction. “No, I—I mean…”
He laughed. “Oh, you’re worried about me?”
My face was on fire. If there was a mirror in front of me, I’d be able to see that I was, no doubt, ketchup red. He tried to catch my gaze, but I wouldn’t let him. “I guess it was going to get awkward at some point. Why not now, right?”
His grin was in his voice. “I’ll make you a deal. I won’t bring any girls home without telling you first. You want a note? Sock on the door? Code word? Bat-signal meme?”
Nope. None of that. I didn’t want him bringing home anyone. “I’m not sure, Sebastian.”
“The offer is there. I have to give a month’s notice if I’m not coming back. End of November, I’ll need to know if I’m moving in here in January or if I’m staying put.” He leaned into the couch as though the outcome didn’t matter to him.
Meanwhile, my heart raced out of control, and my palms were coated with slick sweat. An image of Sebastian fresh from the shower flashed in my mind. Seeing him first thing in the morning, having him be the last person I saw at night, terrified and amazed me.
He reached out and squeezed my hand. “It’d be okay, Nattie. I promise.”
What was he promising? I couldn’t bring myself to ask for elaboration. “I’ll make a decision by the end of November for sure.” Please let student housing respond tomorrow. Someone random sounded wonderfully appealing.
Anyone, anyone but Sebastian.
