Saving Us by Wendy Million

Chapter Seventeen

Annika put the finishing touches on her makeup, and we locked eyes in the mirror. “Sebastian said he offered to move in here.”

“Oh, my God! Are you two BFFs now or what? Why would he tell you?”

“He was trying to figure out how I’d react. I told him having him live here would freak you out.”

Pink rose to my cheeks as I examined myself. “Well, you were right.”

“Yeah, he said you practically jumped out of your skin.”

“I did not.” I gave her my best as-if expression. “The thought of him bringing home his parade of conquests made me want to vomit. What he saw was me trying to hold in my vomit.”

“Anyway, it’s a good idea. He can pay rent. You know him, you like him, he fixes things, and we can hang out together.”

“It’s a terrible idea. It’s an idea for someone who has no other ideas and her rent is due.” I pointed at her in the mirror. “You and Johnny have a place picked out, don’t you?”

Annika gave me a helpless look. “He fell in love with an apartment not far from here. He might have already put the deposit down?”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course he did. Of course.” I pursed my lips in annoyance. “Well, I won’t be without a roommate no matter what, I guess.” I tilted my head to the side, checking to see if my foundation was even. “You saw the place?”

“Not yet,” Annika said. “I didn’t want to fall in love with it if you couldn’t get someone to split the rent.”

“Right.” I nodded as though her rationale made complete sense.

But it didn’t. Annika and I spent months looking for our townhouse because she loved to search. She enjoyed touring apartments and houses, speculating on layout, where furniture would go, where the TV would look best. Part of the excitement for her was the hunt. He either didn’t realize or didn’t care. She wanted me to be supportive, despite my reservations. I could do that, but I didn’t enjoy it.

“That’s great you’ve managed to find a place so quickly.” Pieces of Annika were drifting on the current of Johnny’s whims.

“You ready?” She stuffed her products into her bag.

“Are you coming home tonight?” I asked.

“Probably not.” Annika smiled. “I can’t wait until I don’t have to live in two places anymore. I never have the right things at either place.”

When I slid into the passenger seat, I was thankful for Annika’s cloth seats. Leather was so cold this time of year. I stared out the window while we made the short drive to the stadium.

The team was doing well. Johnny’s and Sebastian’s names circled campus as whispered prayers. Playoffs, championships, and MVP trophies dogged them. If anyone recognized me as Sebastian’s friend, they tried to talk to me about the game or about stats or about something else I knew nothing about. Those experiences were always embarrassing. They probably assumed I was a football bunny—a pretty, but dumb, girl. My embarrassment almost made me want to recommit to learn the rules, follow along closer, understand more about Sebastian’s position or what made him so great. Almost.

“They’re doing well, right?” I asked Annika after we’d parked and started walking to the entrance. Johnny had given her VIP passes, which I didn’t even realize happened for regular games.

“Yeah, exceptionally well this season. Johnny and Sebastian make each other better. Best thing to happen to either of them was Sebastian transferring. They read each other on the field beautifully.”

“People stop me to talk football.” I rubbed my cheeks in embarrassment.

Annika laughed so hard she had to stop walking, and she clutched her middle. “Oh, my God. You must hate that, and the conversation must be so awkward. What do you tell people?”

“I try to go along with whatever they’re saying, but then they’ll ask me what Sebastian thinks, and…” I made a spiraling motion with my fist and then had it explode, “I can’t string together a coherent sentence. I’m a dumb girl, and I hate it.”

Annika’s smile faded. “What are you going to do?”

“Two options.” I held up my fingers. “Stop hanging out with any football people.” I hesitated. “Or I learn at least the basics.” Internally I groaned, but I tried not to let it leave my lips. “Teach me, Obi-Wan.”

“Even an incorrect Star Wars reference. You must be desperate.”

I snorted. “I didn’t even get that quote right?”

“Don’t worry, I’m not your only hope.” She winked. “Sebastian would probably love to teach you a thing or two.” She did a shimmy-shake.

“I’m not interested in his thing or two.”

“That’s not the problem and you know it.” She guided us to our seats near the players’ bench.

I sighed. “What are we doing after this?”

“A pub, if you’re up for it. Johnny wanted low key.” She gestured toward the field. “Are you going to commit to learning this time? Or are you going to study your nails and wish you’d remembered to paint them?”

“I’ll listen. I might also examine my nails, but I’ll listen.”

“All right, I’ll start with the person I’m most interested in and then move to the person you’re most interested in. They work together, so hopefully their interactions will make sense.”

I waved her on with a flourish. “I am your humble student.”

She snorted. “Humble, sure.” She settled into her seat. “Okay, let’s do this.”

She started talking and pointing to the field. When I invested my brain into the game and listened to Annika’s explanations, her connection to Johnny made more and more sense. Speaking about football, she was charismatic. How could he not love someone who worshipped the game as much as him?

At one point, when Sebastian came off the field, our gazes connected, and he grinned. A bunch of girls in front of us turned and rolled their eyes at the sight of me and Annika. I could only imagine what they were thinking. Johnny and Annika were becoming well-known on campus. People who cared about football also realized I’d been spending a lot of time with Sebastian.

When the game ended, I assumed we’d hang outside the locker rooms to wait, but Annika steered us to her car.

“We’re not waiting?” I followed a few steps behind her.

“Sebastian’s driving them, and he’s going to park at our place,” Annika said as though I knew. “Making himself comfortable in his new home.” She threw the comment over her shoulder.

“If he becomes my roommate, I need to date someone else.” I rubbed my hands together while I waited for the car to heat up.

Annika stared at me as though I was being stupid. Her dark hair brushed the steering wheel. “Or you sleep with Sebastian on the regular.”

“Or I go insane from watching him sleep with other girls.”

She drove out of the parking lot and turned toward the pub. “I haven’t said anything because I don’t know if Sebastian wants you to realize what’s happening. But there haven’t been any other girls the last couple of weeks. At least none that I’ve seen or heard. Zero. Those frat boys are town bikes—every girl wants a ride, but he hasn’t accepted any offers.”

I shrugged, but my heart broke into a sprint. “Doesn’t mean he’s not going to their places. He’s given me no indication he’s not still doing whatever he does.”

Annika frowned. “The way he talks about you, Nat…” She sighed. “There’s something there.”

I pursed my lips. “I wouldn’t deny a connection. But it’s not enough. It’s not enough.”

We picked our regular section where people were able to spread out or sit close. Annika ordered Johnny a beer, and I was confident enough in Sebastian’s tastes to order him a drink as well.

The players burst through the pub door, and the ruckus drifted to us. As they headed toward our area, there was a mixture of teammates and women. Gabriella, Troy’s girlfriend, was with them along with a bunch of others I didn’t recognize.

Johnny slid into the booth next to Annika, and his phone rested face down on the table. Sebastian, on the other hand, was busy talking to other people. A girl passed him a drink, and he grinned.

My heart sank, and I stared at the pint beside mine. I spent the night learning football terms I’d never wanted to have cluttering my brain. I went to the game, even though it was cold and damp. I was contemplating having him move in with me—not in that way, but still. And there he was, greeting a chorus of girls, none of them me. I tilted his beer to my lips and chugged it.

Johnny’s phone pinged, and he muted it.

“Who’s that?” Annika reached for his phone.

He picked it up and angled the display, so it was only clear for him. “Nobody.” He slipped it into his pocket rather than putting it on the table.

“Nobody?” Annika’s tone was skeptical.

“You know what it’s like after a win, babe. Lots of people message to get a word in.” He didn’t meet her gaze.

Annika seemed satisfied, but I pursed my lips. If the text had been game-related, he’d have let her see it. He liked to share those moments with her. That much was obvious by now.

I slid out of the booth and headed to the bar. I needed a drink, or maybe three hundred. Resting my elbows on the wood, I waited to catch the bartender’s attention.

“Buy you a drink?” a deep male voice beside me asked.

I cocked my head, and my chin-length hair swished against the side of my face. He had a football player’s build, but I couldn’t for the life of me place him or remember his name. Tall, muscular, dark brown hair, pretty-boy-blue eyes. He’d do fine. Sebastian wasn’t the only person capable of attracting other people.

I thrust out my hand. “Natalie.” I smiled.

He grinned. “I know who you are.” He broke eye contact and signaled the bartender with a nod and a finger. “You’re the girl who has Sebastian tied in knots.”

I turned and leaned my elbows on the polished wood with a heel hooked into the footrest. “You’ve got the wrong girl.” I angled my head in a flirtatious way.

He drew the beers toward him and passed one to me before paying. He glanced over his shoulder and then to me. “Nope.”

I refused to follow his gaze. I wasn’t giving Sebastian the satisfaction. “If that’s what you think, what are you doing buying me a drink?” I raised the glass to my lips.

“Curiosity, I suppose.” He drank his beer and swiveled to face me. “I heard you don’t even appreciate football.”

“That much is true. Though, I did try to learn a couple things tonight.” I lifted my chin. “What position do you play?”

“Safety,” he said. “You know what that is?”

I scrunched up my nose, trying to remember everything Annika had told me. We’d focused on offense for obvious eye-catching reasons. So, that meant his position was most likely defensive. “Defense?”

He chuckled. “Last line of it.”

“Lots of pressure?” I sipped my beer.

“Only if no one else does their job,” he said. “I love being a clutch player.”

We had settled into a nice rhythm of talking and drinking when I realized I hadn’t asked his name.

“Theo,” he said, grinning.

“Theo,” I repeated, mulling over his name. “I like—” But when I glanced up to meet his gaze, he swooped in, capturing my lips before I finished my sentence. I hesitated for a fraction of a second, thinking of other lips I’d rather have pressed against mine. Stupid. No point in wishing for what I couldn’t have. He wrapped his arm around my waist, almost tugging me into his lap.

“Wanna get out of here?” he murmured against my lips.

I chuckled and created space between us. “I’m flattered. I am. But I’m not that kind of girl. Even if I was, I’m not sure getting any sort of involved with another football player is a good idea.”

“There is something going on between you and Sebastian?” He arched an eyebrow and downed his pint.

“No, no.” I brushed off my slip of the tongue.

“So it wouldn’t bother you that he’s at the rear of the pub making out with another girl?” He indicated behind me.

Almost against my will, I turned to see a girl who’d tackled him before, draped across his lap. Her waist-length dark hair was a curtain. I couldn’t be sure what was happening, but my imagination was more than capable of filling in the blanks.

I focused on Theo with false brightness. “Not even a bit.” Inside, pieces of me were splintering into anger and self-righteousness tinged with humiliation.

Annika came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. “We’re heading out.” She gave me a quick squeeze. She must have seen Sebastian’s public display of grossness. “Do you want a ride back to the house? I’m staying with Johnny, but we can drop you?” She moved to my side, and her dark, worry-filled eyes searched my face.

I shrugged. “I’m fine.” Even though fine was nowhere close to what I was feeling.

“I’ll make sure she gets home okay.” Theo met Annika’s gaze and tipped his chin at Johnny, who stood behind her.

“You heard the man, Anni. Let’s go.” He scrolled through his phone, not bothering to acknowledge me.

“You sure?” Annika asked again, leaning into Johnny.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Text me when you get home, so I know you’re okay.” Annika took Johnny’s hand.

I nodded and drained the last of my pint.

“You want another?” Theo asked, eyeing me.

“No.” I was having a hard time not staring in Sebastian’s direction, and that view would lead to madness. “I kinda want to do a couple shots and get the hell out of here.”

“Your wish.” He signaled the bartender.

We did three shots of tequila each, and when I hopped off the bar stool, I wobbled. Theo grabbed my elbow to steady me.

“Easy there, lightweight.” Theo chuckled. “Am I going to have to piggyback you to your place? How far is it?”

“Not far.” I glanced up at him. I wasn’t a short girl, but he was tall, maybe even taller than Sebastian. The alcohol was doing its job, dulling my senses, and I peeked to where I’d seen him last. He was chatting to another player, his back to me, and the girl was still draped over him, kissing his neck, running her hands over his body. Bile rose to my throat, burning along the way.

“You okay?”

“Peachy.” I stumbled toward the door. I’d had more to drink than I realized.

We kept a brisk pace in the cool weather as we walked to my house.

“I—I mean, I’m not going to sleep with you,” I blurted out once my street was visible in the distance.

He laughed. “I didn’t agree to walk you home so you’d sleep with me.” He rubbed the top of his head, messing up his dark hair. “Not that I’d say no if you invited me in.”

As we approached my door, I slowed my pace. “Did you want to come in and wait for a cab?” Inviting him in was a bad idea, but it was cold. My stomach rolled with the beer and shots.

“Nah, that’s okay. I’ll walk.”

We stood in my doorway for a moment before he eased his hand around my waist, tugging me close. “One for the road?” He dipped his head to kiss me. Sebastian had said those words to me once. While Theo kissed me, Sebastian was all I could think about. When he drew away, he gave me a quizzical glance.

“Just drunk,” I said by way of explanation for what was probably a lackluster kiss.

He gave me another quick peck on the cheek and then disappeared down the path. I struggled to get my key in the lock and then moved around the house, getting ready for bed.

When I was drifting to sleep, loud giggling started up outside and drifted into my room. I threw off the covers and stumbled to the window. I wished I’d fallen asleep quicker.

The dark-haired girl was on the hood of Sebastian’s car, and Sebastian was standing between her legs, hands on either side of her. They weren’t kissing, but their bodies were intimately positioned, as though they were on the cusp of more.

Whatever point he was trying to prove, he’d made it. We hadn’t said a single word to each other all night.

I turned away from the window, disgusted. My noise-canceling headphones were on the dresser, and I stuck them onto my ears. Not comfortable, but whatever. With a yank, the covers came over my head. I was thankful I’d had those last few shots. Otherwise, I’d never be able to sleep.