Nanny for the SEALs by Cassie Cole

24

Heather

I lowered my phone. The sound was a fancy doorbell chime, much nicer than the buzzer at my studio apartment. On the computer screen, the nanny was tossing her hair back and moaning loudly.

I closed the porn and left the office. Packages were delivered to the security office downstairs. Nothing came up to the residence. The dads were paranoid about all inbound mail, especially packages.

So who was here?

I gazed through the peep-hole. The man was tall and wore a suit. He looked suave, not like any sort of threat, so I opened the door.

“Hi, can I help you?” I asked.

He may have looked suave through the distorted peep-hole, but my impression quickly faded. He was bald, not by choice, and had a very round face with beady eyes. There was a gap between his two front teeth, a gap that became more pronounced as he smiled at me.

“The boys decided to hire themselves a treat, did they?” he asked in a British accent. Not quite posh, but not exactly cockney.

I glared at him and reached for the door. “And this concludes our brief discussion for the day. Whoever you are, you can come back another time.”

I began to swing the door closed, but he stuck out a foot to stop it. Then he extended his hand and said, “James Cardannon. My friends call me Jimmy. You can call me Jimmy, love, if you promise to be my friend.”

His smile was too wide, and didn’t match the threatening look in his eyes. I ignored his outstretched hand and said, “I’ve heard of you. You’re their competitor.”

Cardannon lowered his hand and chuckled. “Heimdall Security is the premiere personal security company in the western hemisphere.” He gestured with a hand. “This little operation is no more our competitor than a molerat is the competitor of a savannah lioness.”

“They also told me you were a dick,” I said. “Guess they’re two-for-two.”

“You are delightful.” Cardannon chuckled and peered beyond me into the residence. “Not much of a maid, it appears. I’m assuming your skills lie elsewhere. If you ever want to come work for me instead…”

Okay, now I really hated this guy.

“I’m nannying their children,” I said sweetly. “When some poor woman finally lets you stick your shriveled cock inside her, maybe you’ll have a need of my services.”

To my dismay, Cardannon didn’t react to the dig. “I have six children, all perfect little angels. Conceived naturally, of course. Not some Frankenstein litter spawned in a test tube.”

It took me a moment to realize he was referring to Micah, Dustin, and Cora.

I strode across the living room and rummaged through my purse. “Are you getting your card?” Cardannon asked. “I’m afraid I was only joking about hiring you away. My own au pair is quite capable.”

I found what I was looking for inside the purse and held it up. “I’m getting my taser. Because when I’m done with you—which won’t be until the battery on this baby dies—your balls will look like shriveled, scorched raisins.”

A growl escaped my lips as I marched back to the front door. Cardannon continued grinning at me. He didn’t think I would do it.

Big mistake.

I jabbed the electronic prongs of the taser into his crotch and squeezed the trigger. His smile disappeared and was promptly replaced by surprise, and then pain. He made a noise like a squeaky toy being savaged by a Rottweiler, and fell back against the wall.

“You fucking bitch,” he cursed at me, holding his crotch. A tendril of smoke drifted up from a scorch mark on his left pant leg.

I smiled. “I think I got your thigh by accident. It’s tough to hit such a small target. I’m willing to try again if you are.” I held up the taser and squeezed the trigger, causing electricity to arc between the two prongs.

A door banged open downstairs. Rogan came rushing up the stairs, followed by Brady and Asher.

“Sorry if we’re making too much noise,” I told them. “This guy squeals like Cora. But higher-pitch.”

“We saw the security alert when the doorbell rang,” Rogan said. He put himself between me and Cardannon.

Brady stopped at the top of the stairs and barked a laugh. “You need to get outside more, Jimmy. You look paler than Casper’s bleached asshole.”

“Brady Lowe,” Cardannon said, voice returning to its normal octave. “Charming, as always.”

Brady sniffed the air. “Have hookers been putting cigarette butts out on your crotch again? You gotta find safer fetishes, man. I’m not one to kink-shame, but that kind of action is weird.”

Asher saw the taser in my hand. Suddenly it was like a switch had been flicked. Asher grabbed Cardannon’s necktie and pushed him back against the wall roughly.

“Did you touch her?” he growled. “So help me God…”

“Everything’s all right,” I said. “He didn’t touch me.”

“Your psychotic nanny tasered me without provocation!”

I gritted my teeth. “I won’t repeat what he said, but he insulted the children.”

Brady looked at me. “You tasered him just because of something he said?”

Shame flushed through my body. If Brady thought I had overreacted…

“Fucken nice,” Brady said, holding up his hand for a high-five. He smacked his palm against mine roughly. “You’re getting a raise.”

Rogan gave him a look, then brushed Asher off of Cardannon. “You going to tell us why you’re here?”

“Getting sick of barking orders to the crayon-eaters over at Heimdall?” Brady added.

Cardannon shifted his pants. His crotch was no longer smoking, but the fabric was permanently scorched. That made me smile a little wider.

“I heard about your paranoia at the Lakers game last week. So I decided to come address the misunderstanding in person.” He tried to stare down his nose at Rogan, but it was tough to look intimidating while wearing a burned pair of pants. “You honestly believe I would send my security agents to harass you?”

Rogan stiffened. “How did you hear about that?”

The same easy sneer Cardannon had greeted me with now returned. “The Lakers PR director told me. We had a meeting this morning, you see. He hired us on a two-year contract. He must not have been impressed with your skills. I understand there was some sort of intruder in your suite?”

I grimaced. Any satisfaction I had gained from tasering this asshole promptly disappeared.

“It was a simple misunderstanding,” Rogan said. “It wasn’t a big deal at all. Amirah Pratt was there, and she hired us the next day.”

“I am aware of Miss Pratt’s unique circumstances.” Cardannon pursed his wormy lips. “I have made it very clear to her that when you fail—and you will fail her, make no mistake about it—she may call Heimdall and receive a more satisfactory level of protection.”

“The fuck do you know about her circumstances?” Brady asked.

Suddenly there was a noise behind us in the residence. Through the open door I saw Dustin and Micah come running out of their bedrooms. They proceeded to chase each other around the living room, yelling and screaming.

I rushed inside to get them to settle down. Back in the doorway, I heard Cardannon snicker and say, “You cannot even keep your own children in line. Make no mistake about it: Heimdall will put this little operation out of business soon enough. You are a match that has been struck, and will inevitably burn down to nothing.”

“I wouldn’t be making fire analogies, buddy,” Brady said. “You look like your prick has second-degree burns.”

By the time I got Micah and Dustin to settle down, Cardannon had left and the three dads had joined us in the living room. Cora came out of her room, blanket in one hand and a stuffed penguin in the other. Brady scooped her up and kissed her on the forehead.

“We heard a noise!” Micah complained to me. “It woke us up. That’s why we came out here!”

“Please don’t take away our nap-time star, Miss Heather,” Dustin said in his most innocent voice. “We promise to be better next time.”

I sighed. “You’re right. This wasn’t your fault. It was mine.” I glanced up at Rogan. “Sorry. About everything.”

Rogan rubbed one eye. He looked tired. “It’s not your fault, either.”

“Well, the suite incident was,” I said. “If not for that…”

Brady came over and grinned at me. “You made up for it by tasering that jerk. I’m serious, Rogan. She ought to get a raise for that. Or at least a bonus.”

It was too late to put the kids back down for their naps, so I took them back into their rooms to get changed for outdoor play time.

Despite Brady’s assurances, I felt guilty about sneaking into their suite for the rest of the afternoon.