Grumpalicious by Mia Faye

Chapter 1

GENEVIEVE

“Remember last year, I met Johnny Cresta at the Legende Ball. I was fully prepared to marry that man.” I mused as Peyton, Eliza and I rode in first class on our flight from Houston to Washington DC.

“Oh my God, the way you described walking in and seeing all those people in his room still cracks me up,” Peyton laughed.

“Right. He’s got like six naked girls in his bed. I mean I’m not saying I wouldn’t get naked for the man too...but damn he had some freaky-deeky sexual perversions!” I shook my head.

Johnny Cresta was the hottest rock star in the universe, and he had pursued me. I mean he didn’t just flirt he hit me hard and so I was like, ‘This is it, I’m dating a rock star.’ Oh my God, I could not have been more wrong.

“Well hopefully this time you won’t be going home with a drunk rock legend,” Eliza cautioned.

“In all fairness, I did think I was going to be his legitimate date. I had no idea he wanted me to be his plus seven. I was down for a minute, I got naked, I got into the hot tub, I played along until Mr. Freaky-Deaky was like, “How about you and you and you come on over here and give me a little show...” I was like ‘no thanks,’ got up out of the tub, put on God knows whose clothes, and spent seventy dollars for a cab ride back to our hotel. He was so pissed, he texted me the next day, remember, and all he did was bitch about how his dick hadn’t gotten enough play thanks to me. I told him his dick needed rehab and a sex addiction therapist. Fun, crazy night though, but no, I have no intention of repeating it this time. If he’s there, I’m going to ignore his ass,” I laughed and silently prayed he wouldn’t be there.

“Does he still text you?” Eliza asked.

“Sometimes. I guess he likes to keep women in his orbit...or maybe he just doesn’t remember who I am and is going down his list. Doesn’t matter. I’m never going to answer him.”

“You’re going to be a legitimate singer this time anyway. Luckily, your karaoke escapade from last year was memorable enough for Asher to book your band,” Eliza reminded me.

I had gotten just a little too drunk that night a year ago and got up to the mic for my shot at Karaoke. I did my best and well, maybe got a little carried away rolling my notes all over the place. By the time the song ended I had belted it out hard, going to church...kinda made a stir, that’s for sure.

“That’s definitely the upside.” I turned to Eliza and asked, “So are you excited to be out of the house for some girl’s night fun?” My excitement had renewed just thinking about the opportunity to sing in front of such a prestigious crowd and be with my girlfriends again. Eliza had become a total mommy and we hadn’t seen her in weeks. “Do you think Andre and Zachery will survive? You’ve never left them before have you?”

“Wait, you’ve never left Zachery before?” Peyton seemed astonished.

“Well, Andre’s a great dad and all, but Zachery is one hell of a busy toddler. I just thought it was better with two hands on deck. Andre practically kicked me out of the house knowing how much I needed this girl’s night though, so I am free to have as much fun as I can take. Besides Zachery is two and we might be needing to brew a baby sister or brother in the future, so I’m going to enjoy this weekend before I’m big, pregnant, and off the booze again,” Eliza laughed.

She had married Andre Michelson, an energy maverick almost two years before and they had a little boy. She was just finishing up her master’s degree in environmental ethics and she and her husband had started a clean energy company that worked with people in impoverished areas to get cheap clean energy. Eliza had remained friends with Peyton and me, even though we were no longer roommates.

“Well, I can tell you, I’m so excited to get out of Texas,” Peyton rolled her eyes.

“Hey, Texas isn’t that bad,” I said, defending my adopted state.

“I know, but I’m getting restless again. I’ll chill in Texas for a while longer, but I’m ready to see the world and spread my wings.” Being an artist and an actress, Peyton was always a bit of a free spirit.

“Well, I’m a country girl, through and through, nothing is gonna get me out of the grasslands,” I laughed because the girls knew every word of it was true.

**

At Legende, the French-inspired cafe and nightclub owned by Eliza’s friend, Ophelia, and her husband, Asher, we met Eliza’s friends from DC. The huge bash was thrown every year in honor of Asher and Ophelia’s anniversary. They were well known as Ophelia ran a public-interest magazine and Asher had given up a life in cyber storage to run Legende, a playground for politicians, actors, musicians, and the wealthy. When I came last year, I was awestruck and stunned. This year I was a little more chill...thank God.

“Pickle!” Harper ran to Eliza, Peyton, and me with her arms wide open. “Oh my god, I can’t believe it’s been a whole year already!”

Rushing at us was Harper Prentice, wife of Congressman Reid Prentice, and Eliza’s best friend and former roommate from DC.

“Harper! Oh my God, you look amazing!” Eliza hugged Harper.

“Maybe because you are looking at the new DC Superintendent of Schools!” she squealed.

“What you didn’t tell me, you jerk, that is amazing!” Eliza gushed.

“I wanted to tell you in person!” Harper beamed with joy.

“Well, I am just so excited for you, let’s grab a table and catch up!” Eliza pulled Harper toward a table reserved with her name on it as Peyton and I followed.

“Oh my God, yes!” Harper waltzed over with Eliza to the table as she craned her neck back to us. “So, are you excited about tonight’s gig?” she asked me.

“I cannot wait to hit that stage!” I said. “I have to go set up though, do you know who I talk to?” I had to admit I was getting a little nervous as I was supposed to be onstage in an hour.

I looked around the room for the rest of my band. I knew they were there. They’d come in on a different flight, but since I had a shitty cell phone carrier, I could only text. They told me they had arrived, but I had no idea where they were.

“You wanna hit Leah up, she’s over by the bar. She’ll get you all situated.” Harper flashed her a big smile. “I’m so excited for you, Genevieve. This is gonna be your night. I can feel it. Magical things happen at Legende.” And she wasn’t kidding, Legende had definitely been the launching point of almost all of their fairytale romances, but I wasn’t there to hook up.

I’d already been on that train and there was no way I was ever going to go through that bullshit again. Once was plenty.

“Well, I just hope I don’t choke up,” I said offering a nervous smile.

“Break a leg,” Eliza said as she took her seat at the table.

“We’ll be rooting for you,” Peyton added.

“Whee!” I pumped my hand playfully into the air and separated myself from the girls.

Nerves were getting the better of me and I had to get into my groove. There would be time to drink too much and get crazy later.

While I would have loved to throw back a few cocktails and talk girl talk, it was a very important gig and I needed to be in the right headspace for it. I walked toward the bar and saw Ophelia lounging there as gorgeous as ever talking to one of the staff. Her hottie husband was working the room. As I learned last year at the Legende Ball as soon as all their ducks were in a row, Asher and Ophelia would hide away somewhere and just watch what they had created. The day was all about their love for each other, and after all the years they’d been together they were still going strong...they were relationship goals, for sure. They had like a billion kids, were richer than God, and still loved each other, damn, that was something to strive for.

“Hey, Ophelia,” I walked up to the bar to talk with her.

“Genevieve, yay you made it okay. The rest of the band is backstage getting ready!” She stood up to give me a hug.

We weren’t close but we had chilled together last year, and we were all sort of bonded in this past roommate/present roommate girl posse we’d formed.

“Yeah, I just got a text.” I smiled, desperate to find my band.

“Are you ready to bring the house down?” She gave me a playful punch in the arm.

“I am sure gonna try!” I said, feeling pretty queasy at that moment, but it was normal. I always got pre-show jitters and they energized me. I usually did some stretches, warmed up my voice, and just got into the moment. I never biffed a show, I had no worries.

“Well, I’m really excited to hear you sing again. Your Karaoke brought down the house last year.” Ophelia was that kind of nice, she always made you feel good.

“Thanks, I’ll head on back and warm up with the band if that’s okay?” I suddenly was both excited and nervous to get the gig going.

“Oh yes, of course. You remember where the dressing room is right? Just behind the bar here is a door that says staff, go through that, then down the hall and down the stairs to the left.”

“I remember now, thanks,” I offered a big smile and she returned with one equally as warm.

“Good luck and let's get together after and catch up.”

“Sounds perfect.”

So, I was off. I met the band downstairs as they warmed up.

“Genevieve, great you made it. Alright, we are all here! How was the flight?” Marlon the lead guitarist asked.

“Yeah, first class is sick. I’m not gonna want to fly without my own personal waiter and warm chocolate cookies ever again. I could really get used to living in style!” I gave him a smooth weird flying reenactment with my arms that I instantly regretted.

“Well, we nail this tonight and perhaps warm chocolate cookies will be our new normal. Want to hit Suddenly Rain? I want to practice the riff again…”

“Sure.”

Marlon, and Gabriel, the keyboardist, and I played a few songs to warm up and practice. Before long it was time to go onstage, and I was pumped and ready. I had changed into a black micro mini dress and a pair of combat boots, my hair was in a high ponytail, and I wore a pair of pearl earrings my mom had given me before I moved from Indiana to Texas. They had been my grandmother’s before hers and I wore them for good luck.

When I walked out onto the stage the lights were glaring and bright, but I could see the throng of people around the stage and the music was still thumping as we set up. I’d recognized a few familiar faces, politicians mostly, but I didn’t dwell on it. I just wanted to sing. And so, I sang. I got up and sang with all of my heart. Soon the crowd was a fuzzy rainbow-hued blur. The world was my guys in the band and my voice...and all that I loved about music.

I’d written those songs; I knew their heart and so I sang with mine. I was surprised when it was all over and a little disappointed. I could have sung all night. I stood there listening to the roar of applause a little lost when a person tapped my shoulder. I looked over and had no idea who I was staring at.

“Come with me,” the guy said and since I was so disoriented, having come down from my performance high, I followed the guy.

The guy led me right to Cash Coltrane, the hottest both in physical beauty and in popularity, music producer in the world. He just was standing right in front of me wearing a black wool suit, holding a lowball of scotch on the rocks.

“Do you have a moment?” he asked in this deep husky voice that made your vagina want to drop out of your panties and do a pole dance on his face.

“Um...yeah. Sure,” was my oh-so-ineloquent reply.