Company Ink by E.L. Lewis

s e v e n

"How's the soup Ness?" I ask, watching my older cousin bring a trembling spoonful of tomato and basil goodness up to her lips. By the time it reaches her mouth, there's only half the amount left on her spoon. I don't know why Aunt Lucy doesn't just feed her, it's painful to watch Ness attempt to do this on her own.

I understand the need for Ness to be independent, but I can see the frustration in her eyes every time the soup spills out into her bowl. I should be used to this by now, but it still breaks my heart to see her like this.

"Does it taste good?" I add, almost forgetting that open-ended questions are too difficult for her to answer.

“Yes,” Ness says, nodding her head, a faint smile clipping her lips.

"I'm surprised you can still eat tomato soup. Remember when we were kids and we got sprayed by that family of skunks?" I look over at Lucy. "You made us sit in a bathtub full of tomato soup for hours."

Lucy laughs, her eyes crinkling at the memory. "And you both still reeked for days! Your father was so mad that he made you stay with us that whole week."

I cross my arms and side-eye Ness. "If my memory serves me correct, those skunks kept coming by because someone left food out for them as if they were stray cats."

A sweet giggle escapes Ness's mouth. I wish I could be in her head, hear what she's thinking. Vanessa was so witty and smart, she still is, but it's hard for people to see that now. I'm amazed by her constant positive attitude. Despite what happened, despite the fact that all her plans got ruined, she still smiles and laughs, and there's still life in her eyes. Every time I'm with Ness I'm reminded that everything can change in a split second, that a fluke accident can put your entire life on a different trajectory, that your future, no matter how well planned out, is never guaranteed.

"So, Cassie," Lucy interrupts my thoughts. "Your father told me last week that he was going to take you fishing this weekend. Are you excited?"

"He called me a few days ago to cancel. He said that one of his old college buddies is in town and they've got plans to explore the city."

Lucy frowns, wiping the corner of her mouth with a napkin. "He canceled again?"

I shrug. "It's fine, I'm used to it. I don't even like fishing. It requires way too much patience, and he always makes me wear a bucket hat; it's just not my style." I try to laugh it off, my Dad always cancels our plans.

Lucy's forehead creases, her empathetic eyes meeting mine. "I can talk to him for you if you want."

I roll my eyes. "And say what? Spend time with your only daughter? Come on, Lucy. He's been like this since I was a kid. If he doesn't want to see me, I'm not going to force him. I'll see my parents for the 4th of July probably if they're still doing their annual barbeque."

Lucy reaches for my hand. "Honey, that's over a month away."

"I know." I pull my hand away and fiddle with my hair. The topic of my father is always an unwelcome one. I try not to dwell on it too hard; after years of him bailing on me, I got used to it. "It's okay, really. Monique's birthday is on Friday anyway. It's good that he canceled, this way I don't have to worry about being hungover on Saturday."

"Alright, if you say so," Lucy says, flagging a server down to get the check. "As for this work debacle of yours. Just don't do anything you'll regret."

The first thing I did when we met up for lunch was explain the Adrian situation to my aunt and Ness. They've both been my human diaries ever since I had my first kiss in their treehouse when I was twelve. Compared to me, Vanessa was a late bloomer. She didn't have her first boyfriend or kiss until we started high school. She was always the more studious one. The number of times my dad would say 'Why can't you be more like Ness?' is in the hundreds. My mom tried to defend me but to no avail. For some reason, Dad couldn't fathom the idea of boys being more important than schoolwork. I'm not sure how he managed to convince my mom to marry him, seeing as the man has less charm than a day-old bagel.

I whip my head towards Vanessa. "Ness, do I ever have any regrets?" I ask my cousin who shakes her head, her eyes lighting up. "That's right!" I smugly smile at Lucy. "No regrets, only lessons."

Lucy rolls her eyes, placing two twenty-dollar bills on the table. "You know I hate it when you use my own adage against me," she says in a playful yet scolding tone. "I'm just saying to be careful. We don't need another Benjamin situation."

I knew she would bring that up. "That was barely a situation!"

"Cassie, you slept with your co-worker, and then it got weird and you two couldn't even be in the same room together after that."

"It wasn't weird because we slept together," I correct her. "It was weird because he told me he loved me a week after we slept together."

Ben seemed like a totally normal dude when we went for drinks after work that one time. Four martinis later we were in his apartment making enough racket to wake the whole neighborhood. I thought it was just a quick fling, but I guess poor Benji had been crushing on me for a year. How the hell was I supposed to know that though? In the two years we worked together he'd only said a total of ten words to me, most of them hellos and goodbyes. I'm not a mind reader for God's sake. Needless to say, it got a little bit awkward after that. Every time I was in the break room, he'd run out of there like I was a walking plague.

"Be that as it may... this situation's... awfully similar," Lucy observes, walking around the table and helping Ness stand up. Even though her motor skills were largely impacted by the accident, she doesn't require a wheelchair or a walker, only the support of her mom.

I roll my eyes. "I'm a big girl, Luce. I can make my own decisions. Plus, this thing with Adrian is purely physical. He really doesn't strike me as the type of man to fall in love after a night of banging."

Lucy closes her eyes. "Did you just say banging?" she asks, causing Ness to let out a quiet laugh.

Winking at my cousin, I shrug shamelessly and swing my purse over my shoulder. "Well, I'm not going to say making love."

Lucy tsks at me as we exit the restaurant. "Is that because you've never been in love?"

My mouth gapes open. "I've been in love," I exclaim, my voice wavering.

"Really? With whom?"

I bite the inside of my cheek trying to muster up a name, but no one comes to mind. "Whatever," I huff, my irritation spiking. "Love is overrated anyway. It always leads to disappointment."

I help Lucy open her car door and Vanessa slides into the passenger seat. "Honey, there are different types of love. Not every man you meet is going to be like your father."

"What? Ew—" My lips tilt downward into a deep frown. What is she implying? "I know that."

"Do you?" Lucy asks, wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug. "Are you sure?"

***

I sulk for the rest of the afternoon thinking about Lucy's oh-so-cryptic comment.

I've been dating for over ten years. I must have been in love at some point...right?

I've said I love you before, granted to only two people. James, who was my boyfriend in high school. He was the captain of the hockey team and I was going through a major phase where athletes brought me to my knees; in James's case—quite literally. We dated for a year but then broke up after I caught him fondling Kelly Pillar's breasts behind the bleachers at homecoming. I was so pissed off that I did what any reasonable sixteen-year-old would do—I slept with his best friend.

The other person I said I love you to was Cameron. He was an RA at WSU. He was devastatingly handsome, plus a couple of years older, which was the reason why things ended. He moved to Phoenix for work and that was that.

But did I actually love them? Or was it an infatuation? If I'm being honest with myself—I don't think I knew. I never fully let them in. I never let anyone in. Why would I? My life is perfect the way it is. I don't need the complication of feelings tampering with my happiness.

I've seen what falling in love can do to someone. Monique and her ex-boyfriend were inseparable for years. YEARS. He made her all these promises: we're going to move in together, we're going to get a dog, we're going to get married. And what does he do? He fucking cheats on her with one of our best friends at the time. That's what love gets you: pain. Monique's convinced that Nick breaking her heart was a blessing, because she met Matt eight months later, and now, they're head over heels in love, but that doesn't cancel out the months of tears. Monique is a stronger person than I am, and that heartbreak destroyed her, if it happened to me, I'd die.

I grumble, walking to the water cooler in the center of the office to fill up my bottle. I am so mad at Lucy for shoving this topic on me. I thought I was going to lunch with my aunt, not goddamn Mrs. Freud.

As I pull my bottle away from the nozzle, I catch the door to the Managing Partner's office slam shut. Nancy runs down the hallway, stacks of documents in her hands, and her eyes wide with stress.

Jesus, who is this man? Stalin?

I still haven't met this aloof Mr. Pearson. I thought he would introduce himself at some point within my first two days, but I've only seen the back of his head three times in passing. It's just as well, based on how frantic Nancy looks throughout the day, I'm okay putting that meeting off for a while.

On the way back to my desk, I pass Adrian's office and catch his piercing gaze. Fuck, why does he have to look at me like that? With one index finger, he motions for me to come into his office. I take a deep breath and twist the door handle. I wonder what this is about. Hopefully, I didn't make any errors on the documents I've been cataloging.

"Cassie," he begins as I close the door behind me. "Is something wrong?"

My eyebrows knit together in confusion. "No?" I say, scanning his face, which is full of genuine concern. "Why do you think something's wrong?"

"No reason." Adrian narrows his eyes and absentmindedly runs two fingers over his lips. "You've just looked a bit preoccupied since you came back from lunch."

My eyes light up, a warm sensation overtaking my entire body. "Have you been watching me Mr. Cavallero?" I ask, the words tumbling out of my mouth before I can stop them.

"Of course—" Adrian reclines back in his chair, giving me a once-over. "I always keep an eye on my staff."

I tilt my head coyly. "Lucky staff."

Adrian grins, twirling a pen between his long fingers. "Lucky eyes," he retorts casually, and I just about die right there and then.

I wish I could record this whole interaction and show Monique later. Maybe then she'll stop questioning whether or not Adrian is in the same boat as I am.

My chest rises as I clear my throat. "Well, now that we've established that nothing is wrong—is there anything else I can help you with?"

"Several things, but they can wait until later," he says in an overtly suggestive tone. My pupils grow to UFO sized saucers and my mouth slightly hangs open. He did not just—oh shit. Is this office soundproof? I turn my head and look out the glass walls. Kitty and David are both hunkered down and focused on their work, something I should be doing. But instead, I'm standing here playing a wicked game of verbal footsie with my boss.

Fuck it at this point. "Define later?" I ask, crossing my arms. He seems to have a timeline in his head to which I'm not privy.

Adrian chuckles. "Patience is a virtue, Miss Carrington."

"So, I've heard." I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, biting my lip. "Unfortunately, it seems as though I'm not very virtuous."

Understatement of the year based on this freaking conversation.

Adrian's eyes flicker with unreadable darkness. "Maybe that's something you should work on," he comments in a gruff tone.

My eyelashes flutter. "Are you sure you want me to? My way seems more funMr. Cavallero." At this point subtlety has gone out the window. I could get pregnant by the pheromones bouncing around this room.

Adrian sits still, not moving a muscle. Honestly, I'm not even sure if he's breathing. Either I've broken him or he's having a stroke. The pen he was so carelessly twirling a minute ago is now wrapped in a vice-like grip, causing his knuckles to turn white.

"You seem tense," I observe triumphantly. "Is something wrong?" I repeat his question, smiling wide with satisfaction.

"You're playing a very dangerous game, Cassie," Adrian finally says, staring at me with so much intensity that I take a step backward, my back hitting his office door.

My breath hitches.

"I like games," I admit in a whisper. "Because I always win."

Adrian's phone rings, startling me and snapping me back into reality. "I have to take this," he says in a controlled tone, reaching for the receiver. "I'll see you tomorrow. Don't forget that you're joining me for a client luncheon."

Crap, I forgot about that.