Tackled by Lisa Suzanne

CHAPTER 9

We watch the JJ show, something that’s quickly becoming one of my favorites as in this episode he shakes a rattle and plays with some teether keys. We make small talk about family trips Jack took to California while I admit this is my first time visiting aside from our trip to Los Angeles.

“It is?” He looks at me with surprise.

I nod. “The furthest west I’d been before meeting you is Vegas.” I open my hands toward the view. “I never knew what I was missing.”

“Incredible, isn’t it?”

I sense a bit of wistful regret in his tone.

He’s settled back in his seat as his son plays safely at his feet. He looks more relaxed, more at home, more filled with joy than I’ve ever seen him in the short amount of time we’ve spent together.

“Don’t sell it,” I say softly.

He presses his lips together. “Maybe just as a last resort.” He shakes his head a little then completely changes the subject. “Are you hungry?”

We’ve been sitting on the patio staring out at the ocean for a good two hours already, and I hadn’t realized my stomach is actually growling. Between watching JJ, reveling in my conversation with Jack that’s both about nothing and everything, and staring over the view that’s both relaxing and energizing, eating lunch didn’t seem like a priority.

“Yeah, I could eat.”

He stands. “I placed an order for groceries this morning so the fridge should be stocked. We can make something or go out.”

“It’s your couple days away. You pick.”

He squints out over the view for a beat without responding, and then he looks at me. “You’re...” He pauses and sighs. “You’re just so easy to get along with.”

I feel momentarily touched by that. “Thanks.”

“I’m not used to it. The women in my life have always had strong opinions and I guess I’ve gotten used to giving them whatever they want. My sister wanted an annual family trip, so we all show up. Michelle wanted Dunkin’ coffee four months after giving birth, so I ran out to get her some. My mom wanted a family dinner with me the night of my Aces trade, so I met her.” He shrugs. “But you? You’re up for whatever, and it’s just...I don’t know. It’s refreshing.”

I do have opinions, but he’s right. My personality tends to err on the side of laid back. I’m usually up for whatever, as he just said, and even though I’m being paid to be here and that’s why I’m letting him guide this ship, I’m not sure it would be any different if I was here under different circumstances.

Truth be told, I like spending time with Jack, and I like letting him choose what we do. I want him to be happy, and if that means grabbing something from the fridge for lunch instead of going out somewhere, then so be it.

I want him to be happy.

Oh, shit.

That’s some love talk right there.

I shake it off. I am not falling for him. I’m not.

I’m not.

He sweeps JJ up into his arms and carries him inside to check out the options in the fridge. I sigh as I watch him walk away with his baby.

I totally am...with both of them.

Jack makes us some chicken wraps, and I’m impressed with his skills in the kitchen. JJ goes down for a nap shortly after our late lunch, and we head back out to his spectacular patio to just sit and enjoy the afternoon as it starts to shift into evening. There’s no television, no radio...no noise aside from our own quiet conversation and the crackling of the firepit once Jack turns it on.

He tells me about some of his favorite memories of living in California, starting with college and ending with the last time he came to this very house. “Is there anything you want to do while you’re here in California?” he asks.

“Just enjoy the weather,” I say. Vegas is starting to heat up, and it’s an easy ten or fifteen degrees cooler here than it’s been there.

“I’m planning on a hike on the oceanfront in La Jolla tomorrow. I know JJ is young, but there’s this one spot where seals took over what was supposed to be a children’s area, and there’s a whole little downtown area just up the street.” He raises his brows as if to ask whether I want to go, which is a moot point really since I have to go. But before I get a chance to answer, he adds, “There’s a place with the best shrimp tacos I’ve ever eaten.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Soft shell or hard?”

He narrows his eyes at me. “I don’t even think hard is an option on the menu.”

I purse my lips and roll my eyes. “Then that’s a hard no from me. Plus I don’t really do the whole seafood thing.”

He laughs. “I take back what I said about you being easy.”

I raise a brow. “Excuse me? I’m easy now?”

He lifts a shoulder and makes a face. “Well, if we’re being technical, it’s not like you were fighting against it on Halloween...”

My eyes widen and my cheeks warm. He’s right, though. It’s not like I didn’t want it. It’s not like I don’t still want it, either. Of course I do. But there are lines I can’t cross, and Michelle is one of them.

A beat of awkward silence passes between us. “I’m sorry,” he says softly.

I glance over at him. He seems like the kind of guy who never has to apologize, and least of all for being exactly who he is.

His eyes are still on me. “That was crossing the line. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

I shake my head. “It’s fine. You were just teasing me.”

He presses his lips together and nods, and I can’t help but think he wants to add more to the conversation. The reason why he’s teasing me, perhaps, or a certain feeling he has that I share. But those things are meant to remain unspoken. They have to since he’s marrying someone else and I’m just here to do a job.

Once JJ is up, we order in some dinner.

I find myself growing closer to him...and that’s not a safe place for me to be growing.

After Jack gives JJ his bath and gets him down for the night, we sit outside a little longer enjoying the crackling of the fire. “I’m going to turn in early. Let’s get out the door by eight for our hike, okay?” Jack says.

I nod, and I head up to my guest bedroom, too. I stare out the window at my view over the hillside with the ocean not so far away. It’s the same view we’ve been looking at all day, and somehow I don’t think I could ever tire of looking. It’s so calm and peaceful that I just want to stay here forever.

I’m more and more convinced every day that Jack doesn’t really need a babysitter. Calvin’s wasting his money. Sure, Jack has lashed out and he’s done some stupid things in the last couple months, but he’s not exactly on track to have a criminal record here on this two-day retreat to San Diego with his son.

He doesn’t need me here, but at the exact same time, I want to fight even harder to stay. It’s not just the house or the view or the firepit or the way he carries JJ or the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles down at his son or the way they sometimes look at me that same way or the memory of one nearly perfect night—barring the part where it was ruined in the end and went down in viral history to sour the memory of it.

It’s all those things combined, and as a wave of emotion seems to pulse through me, I’m more certain than ever that these feelings aren’t just dangerous, they’re complete emotional suicide.

Because whatever I’m feeling doesn’t matter. He’s marrying Michelle, and as much as I see holes in that relationship a mile wide, he has not given a single indication he’s even attempting to back out of it.