SEAL’s Redemption by Leslie North

21

Hope was halfway out the window when another shot came through the door and shattered the glass from a framed picture on the wall. She screamed and slid back down to the floor, ears straining over the ringing in them to hear Logan’s voice in the hallway, but there was nothing. Her leggings were ripped, and her hair was everywhere, and she didn’t care about any of it. All she cared about was what was on the other side of that door.

Her chest constricted. Oh God. Please let him be okay! If anything happens to him…

Then the door crashed open, the dresser pushed aside, and she stared wide-eyed at the man himself as a cacophony of sirens and cop voices echoed around her. Done. It was done. Over. Knees wobbling, she got to her feet and rushed straight into Logan’s waiting arms.

“I was so scared,” she sobbed into the front of his shirt, clinging to him as if her life depended on it, because it did. It really did. For the first time all day, she felt safe and warm, and it was heavenly. Face buried in his chest, Hope inhaled deeply, smelling fabric softener and his good Logan smell, locking her arms around his waist like she’d never, ever let him go. Chances were good she wouldn’t. “When I got that call saying you were shot and in the ER, all I could think about was getting to you. But I should have realized it was a trap—I should never have gone outside. You told me to stay here, and I should have listened. I’m sorry I didn’t.”

Finally, when she was all cried out, she looked up at him, cheeks wet and eyes puffy and said, “I love you, Logan. I always have.”

He gazed down at her, pale beneath his tan and looking as stressed and discombobulated as she felt. Logan cupped her cheeks, swiping her tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “I love you too, Hope. When that last bullet fired, I thought… I thought… Shit.”

Then he was kissing her, and she didn’t care about anything except the fact he was here, with her, whole and healthy, and they were together at last. Hope slid her hands up his chest to lock them around his neck, wanting to climb him like a tree. But he pulled back at last, breath panting as he grinned down at her. “Not yet, darling. Still got the police to deal with first.”

Disappointment jabbed her rib cage, but she let him go. Kept a hold of his hand, though, just because. “Fine.”

They went out into the hallway, past two officers who were wrestling Clarissa Jones out from beneath the overturned bookcase while reading the woman her rights, down the hall—now crowded with cops—and into the wrecked living room. Apparently, shooting Hope hadn’t been enough for Clarissa. She’d had to make a mess of her house along the way. Kitchen drawers had been tossed, and pillows and other knickknacks were scattered all over the floor. Hope and Logan sat down at the kitchen table while the cops came to ask them questions and took their reports. It all seemed to pass in kind of a blur for Hope. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, it registered that she was probably suffering some kind of shock, but as long as she had Logan’s hand in hers, she was good. She answered appropriately, or must have, because no one arrested her, and the cops finished without any problems.

Then they were leading Clarissa out the front door to the waiting squad car to take her downtown. She looked about as rumpled as Hope was, her twin set crooked and stained now, and those pearls she always wore had broken, half the strand still dangling around her neck, the rest gone. The two women locked eyes once, but Hope looked away. So stupid. The whole mess. It never had to be that way.

If only Clarissa had asked Desmond before jumping to conclusions. If only Desmond had told the truth from the start. If only they had not kept secrets from each other.

And speaking of secrets, she was done with those herself. Logan was talking to one of the cops across the room who was making temporary fixes to her broken front door. It was a little embarrassing to have this conversation in front of an audience, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She needed to get this out now, before it was too late. “I want you back, Logan.”

Logan looked at her, his expression stunned. “What?”

“I want you back,” she repeated. “And it’s not just because you saved me today. It’s because you’ve changed. We make a good team. And in a crisis, your voice is the one I want in my ear, telling me how to get through it. I don’t care if being together means a lifetime of long-distance relationship stuff because of your SEAL missions.”

He blinked at her a second then swallowed hard. “Actually, I’ve decided not to re-enlist.”

“Really?” She squeezed his hand tighter, thinking that sounded too good to be true.

* * *

“Yes.” He covered her hand with his other one, then stared down at them because he had to get this out, and it was too easy to get lost in her eyes. “I want to stay here too, Hope. With you, if you’ll have me. I want to build a life with you, a better life than what we had before.” He’d spent a lot of time thinking about what he was going to say and do to get her back. Now that he was getting another chance, he didn’t want to screw it up again. “I’m never walking out that door again, Hope. I don’t want to miss any more time with you or any of our baby’s childhood either.” At her curious look, he shrugged. “For the first time, when I thought about going back to my SEAL team, it didn’t feel right. It made me realize that whether you took me back or not, I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to re-enlist. I think I spent a lot of time burying myself in missions so I wouldn’t have to think about how I felt. But I’m done with that now. I want to live my life instead of hiding from it—and I want to do that with you.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.” It was still a little surprising to him too, but he felt the conviction deep in his bones that it was the right choice. “Anyway, I want to stay here in Baltimore, near you and the baby.” He interlaced their fingers then stroked circles on her palm with his thumb, loving her little shiver of awareness. “You know, it wasn’t until I heard Clarissa blaming Desmond for her murdering Diana that I really understood how stupid I was for being afraid I’d hurt my kid by being in their life. If Desmond had been there for Diana the whole time, then maybe none of that would’ve happened.” He took a deep breath. “These last few weeks with you showed me that I’ve changed too. We talked about hard stuff, emotional stuff, and I didn’t start drinking or spiraling into other destructive habits again like when we broke up this last time. That’s something. I mean, it will probably always be hard for me, fighting my demons. But I can do it. With you by my side, Hope.” He kissed her hand and met her eyes at last. “I can do it if it means getting to know and being there for our child.”

For a moment, Hope just watched him, looking wary and nervous, and it struck him again how much she’d been through. They both had. He lived and died in those few seconds, then she nodded and opened her mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by one of the cops coming over to the table again.

“Sorry to interrupt, folks, but we thought you’d want to know,” the officer said. “Now that we have Clarissa Jones in custody, Mick Kleypas has confessed to being her accomplice in disposing of the body of Diana Lauren. He also confessed to his role in the attacks on you, Ms. Cabot. He said Clarissa Jones paid him to take you out—and also used blackmail to make him comply, because if you found out the truth about Diana Lauren’s death, he’d go down too.”

“Uh, thanks for letting me know,” Hope said, her pallor and quiet voice worrying Logan.

“Hey,” he said, once the cop left. “You okay?”

When she didn’t answer, he tugged her out of her seat and over onto his lap where he could hold her. She came unresistingly and he held her close, whispering into her hair, “Hey, darling, you doing okay?”

Hope nodded, then sighed. “Yeah. It’s just all hitting me at once, I think.” She shrugged against him, snuggling closer. “I’m glad the police have a confession through, from Kleypas. Hopefully, together with your testimony, it will put Clarissa Jones away for a long, long time.”

“Hmm.” Logan took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo, searching for a bright spot in all the gloom and doom of the day. “All this will be good PR for your book too, right?”

She looked up at him then and frowned. “That’s not even remotely funny.”

He bit his lips then gave up and laughed because it felt good. “It kind of is.”

Her dour expression slowly transformed into a grin, and she ended up giggling along with him. “Yeah, it kind of is.”

Finally, he let her go and walked over to check on the cop’s progress with the front door. They’d need to replace it anyway, but at least it would be reasonably secure for the night. He and Hope both needed a shower and a hot meal and a long, safe sleep after they got this place cleaned up again once the CSI team finished.

“Hey.” Hope stopped him with a hand on his arm when he passed her on his way back to the table. “I need to tell you something else. Something important.”

After the events of the day, Logan’s stomach plummeted anew. She’d said she loved him, but what if that wasn’t enough? He swallowed hard and took his seat across from her again. “Okay.”

The word croaked out rougher than he’d intended.

“Well.” She fiddled with the hem of her shirt, staring down at her hands and not looking at him. That wasn’t a good sign. Nor was the fact her sunny smile had been replaced by a scowl. “You know how I had my no-exes rule?”

Dammit.Logan scrubbed a hand over his face, feeling about a hundred years old. He’d thought maybe they’d moved past this at last, but apparently not. “Yeah.”

“I talked to Ben about it and…” she said, but Logan had tuned out.

Logan was well aware that he wasn’t Ben’s favorite person, justified or not, and he could just imagine the stuff he’d told Hope to get her to keep her distance from him again. God. Would his hard work never be enough? He sighed. Okay. No. He wasn’t a guy who sat around feeling sorry for himself, and he wasn’t about to start that shit now. If he still had to prove himself to Hope, prove he’d changed, then that’s exactly what he’d do. Whatever it took, no matter how long it took.

When he tuned back into what she was saying, Hope finished with “…try again.”

He blinked at her a second, trying to figure out what she’d said and failing. “I’m sorry?”

Hope gave him a look. “I said that I was wrong. The rule shouldn’t be ‘no dating exes.’ It should be no dating them unless they’ve changed and grown. I know you’ve changed a lot since we were last together. Our talks have proven that. And I think I’ve grown too. So yeah. I think we should try again.”

His heart kick-started again, and he sat forward to take her hand. “Didn’t we already talk about this?”

“Yes, but I wanted to put it all out there so there was no confusion. Because one of the things we need to focus on going forward is clear communication. No secrets. Desmond and Clarissa had all kinds of secrets between them and look what happened.”

“She’s also a psycho killer, so maybe not the best example, but…” He chuckled when she smacked his arm with her free hand, then leaned closer to kiss her. “Have I mentioned I love you, Hope Cabot?”

“I believe so, Logan Miller,” she said, grinning wide. “I love you too.”

“Good.” He exhaled and glanced over to see cops still scattered around the space, then he looked back at Hope. “As soon as we’re alone, I’m going to make love to you until you can’t walk straight.”

“That’s nice,” she said. “What are you going to do for work?”

“Excuse me?” The fast switch in subjects nearly gave him whiplash, and it took him a moment to get his body and mind back on the same track. That was Hope for you, always thinking a mile a minute. It was one of the things he loved most about her. “Uh, I don’t know. I liked doing the security work before all this happened, so I’m thinking I’ll do that. Maybe start my own firm.”

“Cool.” She smiled then stood, announcing that she was tired and not feeling well and needed to go to bed. Surprisingly, the cops in the house, who were mainly just standing around talking from what Logan could see, began clearing out. Once the last officer left, Hope closed and locked the front door, then rounded on him, a heated look in her eye and a sexy grin. Logan’s body tightened immediately, and he couldn’t keep from smiling back if his life had depended on it. “Now, about making love…”