Scarred Wolf by Charlene Hartnady

12

Jaxon

After dozing fitfully all night,I’m up at dawn. My first thought is that I’m thankful I didn’t dream. A dreamless night means no nightmares. It’s the one and only benefit of not sleeping.

I’m listening to some sort of grinding noise from beyond my door. It takes a second for my sleep-starved brain to recognize the sound of a blender. I should get out there and stick something into her. My dick responds instantly. A needle, I tell myself. Just a needle, nothing else. I rub my face, checking the time.

She’s up already?Maybe she never slept. I know I didn’t. After I went to my room last night, I heard her heading into her bathroom. Water running. Then the sound of the front door as she went out. Part of me wanted to go after her, to see what she might be up to. But – yet again – I needed time to myself. I’ve never spent so much time in introspection as I have on this case. Last night’s incident has got me tied up in knots. Aside from the moment in the shower, I can’t get past what happened when she cut herself…when I felt us connect.

It doesn’t matter which way I look at it, Everleigh Moone – she can call herself Miller if she likes, but it’s not her name – is a force beyond anything I’ve ever encountered. She’s every bit the threat my father fears. Probably more so.

Yet, I keep getting a hard-on at every turn.

She’s the fucking enemy, Skau!

The enemy? How can that be, when Evil Spice cries when her patients die? I’m struggling to see her as evil anymore, which is a big fucking problem. Thing is, there was absolutely no denying the strength of her emotions when she told me about what had happened at work. I could feel it rolling off her in waves. Could scent it on her, and the snout never lies. Would a killer wolf care so much? I’m trying to reconcile this behavior with my conviction that she’s been running an insurance scam from the home. It wouldn’t be the first time a supposedly loving caregiver duped the elderly out of their life savings. Heck, I’ve even heard of some of them killing the old folks off. I can’t see her killing anyone, though. She’s just so…nice.

I glance around at the sumptuous room I’m in. This entire apartment is something else. But if she’s running some kind of insurance fraud, why would she need to bring someone in as a tenant? Nothing about her adds up. Not a single thing! It’s pissing me the hell off.

The grinding outside continues and I finally get up, pull on a pair of shorts, and head to the source of the noise. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Although I’m not joining anyone – I’m here to finish my job, and I’ve got another of Uncle Garret’s vials in the pocket of my pants.

If I catch a hint of widened eyes as I join her in the kitchen, she hides it well.

“Morning,” I say, keeping my tone neutral. There’s no need to rehash the disaster of the previous night. She’s wearing a pink Hello Kitty sleep shirt that ends mid-thigh, and matching fuzzy socks are slouching around shapely ankles.

Hello Kitty? You have got to be fucking kidding me!

No self-respecting wolf would wear that. I feel my lip twitch against my will. Her gaze flicks to my chest and then she keeps her gaze studiously above my chin level and it occurs to me that a shirt might have been a good idea. But what the fuck, let’s see what this Kitty is made of. It’s not like she hasn’t seen me already. All of me!

“I’m making smoothies,” she says, holding up a blender jug with one hand while tugging at the hem of her shirt with the other. I still catch a glimpse of tanned thigh, though. “Or there’s espresso over there, if you’d prefer?” She nods towards a coffee machine on the counter.

I can think of other things I’d prefer, but all of them are wrapped up in pink kitty patterns right now. I nod and head over to the coffeepot, a storm cloud brewing in my brain.

“Did you sleep well?” she asks. She has shadows beneath her eyes, and her cheeks are drawn. She looks so tired…so vulnerable.

“Like a baby,” I reply, sloshing coffee into a mug. I’d put the stuff straight into a vein if I could – I didn’t sleep a wink.

“Um, I hope you don’t think I’m too forward…” Her gaze drops to my chest and everything in me tightens. “What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.” She’s flustered. “That looks like…like you were attacked by an animal. Were you?”

A lump lodges itself in my throat. My whole body vibrates with emotion. I clear my throat. “I’m a private man, Everleigh.” I try to keep my voice level but even I can hear the hard undertone.

“Oh…um…of course.” She blinks a couple of times. Her cheeks are blood red, clashing with the pink kitty cats on her pajamas.

Fuck!

I instantly feel like a dick, which angers me because I have every right to be angry. To be short with Evie. I swallow it all down. “I don’t like talking about it,” I finally push out.

“Oh…” She starts to frown. Her brow crinkles and then relaxes. “Of course. I completely understand, I—” Her now-familiar ringtone disrupts our conversation and I heave a sigh.

“It’s work,” she says, glancing at the screen and then at the jug she was about to attach to the blender.

At this time of day?“Answer it,” I tell her, “I’ll get that.” I take the jug from her. She gives a tight smile, then takes a few steps away and I hear her tone grow low and intense as she speaks. It’s precisely the distraction I need. As I stand between her and where I’m mixing up her smoothie, I have the vial in my palm, and I’m casting sidelong glances to where she’s talking. She won’t suspect a thing.

“Uh-huh, right…” she’s saying. “But…is she…? Oh, no…” Her shoulders slump and I pause. I can sense those waves from her again. The ones I felt last night as she was telling me about the old Harding man. Something’s up.

She ends the call, and I still haven’t poured the antidote into the jug. I can’t do it. Why can’t I do it? “I’m going to have to take that smoothie to go,” she sighs and steps over to me. I deftly palm the vial, then slip it into my pocket before she catches sight of it. “It’s one of my patients…Mrs. Arbuthnot. She and Mr. Harding were quite close. She has dementia, and with the upheaval…well…” She trails off. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.” I don’t know either, but somehow it matters to me. Not the details so much as her reaction to them. She cares about these people.

She shouldn’t care. She was raised by killers, which makes her one too, even if she just doesn’t know it yet. I’m really starting to think she has no fucking idea of what she is. Since when did black and white turn into a whole lot of shades of gray? Perhaps even as many as fifty. This is a fucking shitshow.

She turns without a word, and heads off to dress. I put down the jug. I stand there for a moment, fighting down a surge of guilt and frustration, then go back to my room. I can’t look into Evie’s eyes again. This is the second time I’ve deliberately missed an opportunity to neutralize her. Why haven’t I done it yet? The image of my mother’s face flickers in my mind – it’s been over two decades since she was murdered, yet I can still remember her sweet smile so clearly.

I’m so sorry, Ma… I’m betraying her; it gnaws at my gut.

Aside from the memory of my mother, so many people are relying on me right now. I’m letting every one of them down. What kind of pack leader would I be, if my father were to step down from his duties? The thought stops me in my tracks.

As much as I’ve always been the son of the alpha, and potentially next in line, it’s never occurred to me that I might one day take on the role. Somehow that’s seemed like something bigger than me.

What if this wolf is bigger than me? This Everleigh Moone?

Just the thought of it makes me feel like a traitor to my own kind. To my mother, who died protecting the pack. I need to speak to someone. Right now.

I reach for my phone and stare at it for a moment. My sense of duty tells me that I should be calling my father. My heart says he’s the wrong man for the job.

When Uncle Garret answers my call, he knows immediately that something’s wrong.

“What’s up, pup,” he asks. I’m not offended by the term…from him, it’s a fond endearment.

“I…can’t do it,” I eventually say, and there’s silence on the other end. “I can’t shake the feeling that this is wrong, somehow.” I hear him breathe out a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Jaxon, though I can’t say I’m surprised,” my uncle replies. “You’ve never been ruthless that way, son. Not when it comes to things like this.”

He’s hit the nail on the head. I know what she’s capable of – I can sense it. Once she turns, she’ll be a monster. A bloodthirsty beast. With this much energy in the air, I’m almost convinced she’ll be one of them…a double alpha.

But right now, she’s not. She’s sweet and gentle and she wants to help people that the rest of the world has simply discarded. In the face of all that, how can I take a chance of harming her? What happens if this antidote does more than simply neutralize her wolf? What if it impairs her somehow? What if it kills her?

My uncle notes my silence and interprets it correctly. “You’ll be doing the right thing, Jaxon. This wolf has the strength to destroy everything we know. I understand that you’re having doubts, but I’ve tested this antidote; all you’re going to do is disable her wolf.” He breathes out. “But…” There’s a pause. “But you have to give it to her now, son. Before she comes into her power. Once that happens…” I wait for him to go on. “If you don’t do it before then, the potion won’t work. It’ll dull her powers, but it won’t take them away. Once she turns, the only option will be to get rid of her…more permanently. She’ll have to die, Jaxon. You’ll have to make that happen. You started this, you’ll need to finish it. You need to understand that. There are ramifications to everything, son.”

His words make my blood run cold, and it’s accompanied by a guttural snarl from my wolf. I’ve known it deep down, but part of me was in denial.

If I can’t get rid of the beast lurking within her, I’m going to have to kill Evie Moone. I’m not sure anymore that I can do it.