Made Marian, Volume One by Lucy Lennox
Teddy
As if I’d never heard that before. It was a joke that was almost as old as I was. It annoyed the crap out of me my parents hadn’t thought through the consequences of my name before sticking me with it for life. At some point I decided to own it. That might have coincided with me realizing some people loved dating a real-life Teddy Bear.
I started to grin out of sheer pleasure at seeing Jamie lose it. He was all in. Laughing and crying and snorting. It was flipping fantastic.
He was gorgeous. His hair was shiny brown threaded with lighter brown and gold from being outside all summer. The overgrown waves fell over his forehead as he laughed, and the scruff of his five o’clock shadow was right on the verge of changing from prickly to soft. I wanted to run a finger over it.
“That’s right. I flew over four thousand miles to make you laugh, sweetheart. Yuk it up. Be careful though, I’d hate for you to piss yourself.”
I chuckled and took another few sips of coffee while he got a hold of himself. I almost told him I’d never made the connection about my name, but I didn’t think I could pull it off with a straight face.
He took a long look at me. “Seriously though. Why are you trying to get this photo gig? What do you think is so special about my job that you need to photograph it?”
“Jamie, it’s not really your job I want to photograph. It’s your ability to get up close to the animals. That kind of engagement with wildlife is what people wish they could have. I want to capture it, or maybe find a way to… I don’t know… record that one perfect moment when an animal looks at a human with trust instead of fear. Does that make sense? I don’t really know how to explain it, but I’ll know it when I see it. I’m considering submitting something for a big award this year, but it needs to be special.”
He looked at me with furrowed brows. “Teddy, exposure is part of the problem. If you publish photos of me getting close to animals the way I do, it could be dangerous. People might think they can approach wildlife too. They won’t realize I have years of education, training, and experience and I still take a risk every time I do it. Can you see the danger in that?”
I stood up and wandered toward his fridge. “Yes, I can. But there are ways to mitigate that when publishing them.” I found some vegetables and cheese in a crisper drawer and snooped around in the cabinets until I came across a jar of spaghetti sauce and lasagne noodles.
Aha, lasagne. I could go for some lasagne.
“Like how?” Jamie asked, getting up to feed Sister.
“Well, it depends. I’ll try my best to take your concerns into consideration if I submit or publish a photo of you with an animal.” I found a pot and started water to boil. Then I chopped veggies to put in the sauce.
“What are you doing?” he asked, looking at me making myself at home in his kitchen.
“I haven’t eaten since I left New Orleans.”
“So?”
“So, I’m making dinner,” I told him. “Do you have a problem with someone making you dinner? I’m making vegetable lasagne because there aren’t many options in your fridge. You don’t go to the store much, do you?”
“It’s a bit out of the way. Wait, you live in New Orleans?”
“No. I live in Manhattan, but I was in New Orleans for work. I came straight here and could eat Sister right about now.”
He told me Sister would be way too fatty and then asked me where I was staying.
“Well, it’s a funny story actually…” I looked at Jamie expectantly.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he flashed at me. “You’re expecting to stay here? With me? God, you really are a presumptuous bastard. Forget it, Teddy Bear. You’re shit out of luck.”
I gave him my best puppy-dog look. “It’s not that I was planning on staying here as much as I just sort of hopped a plane to Fairbanks without thinking it through or making plans.”
“You didn’t make a reservation somewhere? How do you fly to the wilds of Alaska without making arrangements?” he asked with a look of sheer exasperation.
“Honestly, Jamie, I wasn’t planning on coming here today. I woke up at the hotel, drove to the airport to catch my flight to LaGuardia, and ended up buying a ticket to Fairbanks instead. When I landed, I got a rental car and headed straight for the Denali ranger station. They pointed me here, and here I am. I’m about as surprised as you are. I didn’t even have any cold weather gear. I have my camera stuff and this one change of clothes. I bought a fleece and warm coat in the fucking Denver airport when I changed planes.”
Jamie’s mouth hung open and he looked at me like I was insane. He wasn’t far off. Even I had to admit it was crazy. An unfamiliar feeling of embarrassment washed over me. I hadn’t felt this way since I was a sickly, skinny kid in high school.
“Look,” I started, “I’m really sorry about this, Jamie. I know my being here is a big imposition. Can you maybe point me in the direction of a place to find a room? Or do you have a number I can call?”
He blew out a breath. “You’re for sure out of luck tonight if you don’t already have a reservation. The Road Lottery starts tomorrow, and places have been booked for ages. The Road Lottery is like Mardi Gras for Denali as far as accommodations go.”
“Shit,” I muttered. “Glad I rented an SUV. I can sleep in the back.”
“Jesus, Teddy. You can stay in the loft. But you leave tomorrow and fly back to New York. And you don’t fuck with me or talk about taking pictures of me. Consider it unmentionable. Understand?” His eyes drilled into mine. I noticed they were a warm brown even when he was peeved.
“Thank you. I promise to be on my best behavior tonight and refrain from discussing your unmentionables.” I shot him a knowing look.
Jamie’s eyes narrowed at me. “Jackass.”
While the food cooked, I asked him what it was like to live and work in a national park. I found flour and searched for other ingredients to make quick drop biscuits. My stomach was driving me at this point, and I found what I needed in a spice cabinet. He watched me work while he told me about the parks he’d selected and explained the reasons why. I asked Jamie what he loved and disliked about each park he’d worked in.
When the lasagne was ready, I replaced it in the oven with the tray of biscuits. By the time I let the casserole cool and set enough to cut it, the biscuits were ready. I had left out the rest of the stick of butter I used in the dough, and it was nice and soft for spreading.
I brought everything to the table, and Jamie didn’t quite know what to say. He got up to grab us some beers.
I was ravenous and the lasagne hit the spot. During dinner I told him what it was like to travel all the time. I de-emphasized the photography part and spoke of some of the places I’d been that were particularly interesting.
He had worked in parks all over the US. It seemed as though he was in demand enough to write his own ticket. It was refreshing to talk to someone as passionate about his job as I was. We shared stories about several of the places we had both been.
After dinner Jamie did the dishes. We moved to the living area, and when I sat down on the sofa, he chose the recliner.
“Thanks for dinner. You’re a really good cook. I can’t believe I had enough food in this place for someone to produce that meal.”
I turned to face him, putting my back against the opposite side of the couch. “You’re welcome. So… is there a Mr. or Mrs. Marian?” I asked.
“None of your damned business,” he replied with a laugh.
“Okay, okay. No need to get aggressive. I’ll take that as a no. You’re a good-looking guy, so I’m surprised. Let me guess, you’re just getting out of a bad relationship?”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “I said none of your business.” But his eyes told me the truth. Behind the annoyance I saw weariness.
“With whom?” I pushed. “It’s okay to talk about it. I’m a good listener.”
“I’ve known you for ten minutes. I don’t care how good of a listener you are; I don’t want to talk about it.”
I changed my approach. “All right, I’ll start. Normally I prefer men, but I was seeing a woman named Lola last year. It wasn’t anything serious, but we’d seen each other off and on for several months.”
Jamie interrupted with a look of skepticism. “You’re bisexual?”
“I’m not a huge fan of labels, but yes. I sleep with both men and women. Anyway, guess who she left me for?” I asked.
Jamie rolled his eyes. “How the hell should I know?” He pulled his feet under him and settled farther back in the chair. “Fine, I’ll bite. Who?”
“Lead singer of a Kinks tribute band. You know, the band who sings the song Lola?” I snorted before reaching for my beer on the coffee table.
“Liar,” he scoffed.
“I swear to god it’s true. Made me almost glad it happened because I’m getting a ton of mileage off the story.”
“What did she look like?” Jamie asked nonchalantly.
“Who, Lola? She’s a tall blonde with really big—”
“Never mind!” Jamie interjected.
“Eyes. Wow, sweetheart. You have a dirty little mind. Now it’s your turn to talk. Tell Uncle Teddy all about it.”
“Mine isn’t a story about missing out on a hot piece of ass. It was a little more involved than some roadie who sleeps with the whole band.”
“Who said she slept with all of them? Although, she is hot so there’s no way to know for sure. I never thought to ask. Huh. Anyway. Start talking, Jamie.”
“I was dating a guy named Brian. We dated on and off in undergrad and then met back up three years ago when at the Grand Canyon on a project.”
So, this guy was into men. Jackpot.
“Is he a wildlife consultant too?” I asked, playing it cool and telling my dick to shut the fuck up.
“No, he is a professor of zoology.”
“Ahhh, dating the professor. Go on,” I said with a grin. Jamie shot me a look.
“No, he became a professor when I was in vet school. Anyway, we dated long distance, which was hard, and after six months, he popped the question. I said yes, he jilted me, and now you know the whole story.” He took a sip of beer and studied the label.
“Sweetheart, you went from the dating part to the jilted part a little fast. Can we rewind?”
“I was left standing at the fucking altar. What do you want from me?”
“Well, how about you tell me when this event took place? I take it from your reaction that it was yesterday.”
Jamie glared at me. “It was five months ago. We were engaged for eight months before that while I tried to plan the big-ass wedding he supposedly wanted. What a joke. I never even wanted a fancy wedding. I still don’t know what he was thinking or why he wanted to pretend we were going to marry.”
“Why did he leave?” I asked.
“Pfft, he never spoke to me again. When I say he left me at the altar, I mean he actually left me standing at the fucking altar. I found out later he was already married. To a woman.”
“Oh shit, denial much?”
“Yep. He was a real keeper, that one. The only problem was that he wanted to keep everyone he ever laid eyes on.” Jamie got up to grab a blanket from a basket by the fireplace.
“So you were like in a tux and everything? Damn, Jamie. That’s harsh,” I commiserated.
“Yes, I was standing in a tux in the back of the church. Which is another ridiculous part. I’ve never wanted to get married in a church wearing a tux. Shit, what was I thinking? I think I sort of forgot who I was, you know? And talk about a confidence killer. I felt like a fool. I am a fool.”
“Jamie, you weren’t a fool to trust someone you had been intimate with for several years. He was the fool to have met you and ever let you go in the first place. He, like, got married after dating you in college and then never told you about it when you hooked back up?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I assume so.”
“Did his wife ever find out about you?”
I was surprised when Jamie tilted his head, looked me over with a cunning look, and said, “Not as far as I know. I’m still plotting my revenge. Wanna help?”
