Made Marian, Volume One by Lucy Lennox
Jamie
Teddy had a surprised look on his face, so I reassured him. “It’s not like I’d ever go through with it, but we should brainstorm ideas anyway. C’mon. It’ll be fun.”
The look on Teddy’s face betrayed his hesitation. “What’s the matter, hotshot? Too chicken?”
Teddy laughed and got into the spirit of the idea. “Okay, sweetheart. Let’s do this. First of all, do we have a name for this lovely lady?”
“Aww, I feel bad for her. She’s married to a manwhore. The revenge plot needs to target Brian. His wife is just the innocent bystander who gets injured in the ensuing wreckage. Poor girl. I don’t know her name, but let’s assume she’s a royal bitch. I think we should call her Lola.”
He snorted. “Careful, sweetheart, lest you come off as jealous.”
“Me, jealous of Lola? Your Lola? In your dreams, Teddy Bear. Besides, I’ve sworn off relationships. As far as I’m concerned, men can go fuck themselves,” I replied.
“Simmer down over there. I can see that naming her Lola is going to be a problem. Let’s call her Dingbat. Now, do you think Dingbat has any idea about hubby’s manwhore status? Where do they live?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know what she knows. I got a call from his brother. They live in Seattle.”
“So it would be possible for you to arrange an accidental meeting. Isn’t Seattle where most Alaskans go for… I don’t know… culture? Or something?”
I shot Teddy a look. “You’re an idiot. Seattle is over two thousand miles away. By your math, it’s halfway to New York from here.”
“All right, so we plan something from a distance. Maybe a phone call or an email. Is he on Facebook?”
“I don’t know. I’m not on Facebook.”
Teddy looked at me like I had three heads. “Not on Facebook? Are you eighty-five years old? What the hell’s the matter with you?”
“Well, I used to be on Facebook in college, but then I realized it was stressing me out so I quit. I don’t miss it. You know I spend most of my day in the wild, right? So while I have my smartphone with me all day, I only get computer time at night.”
“Hmm. That makes it tough. Do you have a phone number for Dingbat?” he asked.
“No, but I still have Brian’s number in my phone. I don’t know if he’s changed it. He ignored my calls after the wedding disaster, but I gave up trying to contact him just two days later when I heard from his brother. He might have let down his guard by now.”
Teddy asked for my phone, and I eyed him suspiciously. “What are you going to do?”
“Text him. It’ll be fun. You’ll see. Gimme.” He held out his hand.
“No way. You’re crazy,” I told him, but a small part of me wanted to see what he would say in the text. “What would you say?”
“You won’t know until you give it to me, sweetheart.” He smiled.
“Why do you keep calling me that? If you’re trying to flirt with me, don’t bother. I told you, I’m off the market. For good,” I assured him, trying to ignore what the endearment did to my nether regions.
“Jamie, I’m not shopping for a husband, but thanks anyway,” Teddy stated.
I looked over at him, offended. “What makes you think I’m looking for a husband? I was implying you should stop trying to get into my pants. Not get into my wedding ring.”
“You’re not the fucking type. You’re the commitment type. No, thanks. I’m more the bang and bolt type. Sorry, gorgeous.”
He was really starting to get on my nerves. “What the fuck does that mean? You don’t know me. Just because I was engaged doesn’t mean I want a husband. Because I don’t. Not anymore. And for that matter, I don’t want just fucking either. At least not with another jackass who treats sex like coin collecting.”
Teddy looked at me with one side of his mouth quirked up. “So, to clarify, you don’t want sex with someone serious, and you don’t want sex with someone who isn’t serious. You don’t want a commitment, but you don’t want a one-night stand. I see.”
“Why are we even talking about this?” I sputtered.
“Just so I understand, why don’t you like sex?” His grin widened. That smug motherfucker.
“I do like sex! I fucking love sex. I just don’t want to deal with the shit that comes with the actual fucking man.”
He chuckled. “Ahh, now we’re getting somewhere. You’ve decided to become heterosexual. I can see it. Maybe a haircut and a shave. Some khaki pants and a blue button-down. Yep, hetero works for you.”
“Fuck!” I screamed, accidentally waking Sister from a dead sleep on the sofa next to Teddy. “You are the most annoying asshole who ever walked the earth. Why are you deliberately turning my words around?”
“Listen, Jamie. I think we should have sex right now. It might calm you down, and I don’t mind. We’ve established that you love fucking and you’re not straight, so let’s do it. What do you say, hmm?” And that arrogant ass actually stood up and stepped toward me.
My head almost exploded in anger, and I catapulted out of the recliner, intending to take a swing at him. But by the time my body landed on his, apparently I had changed my mind.
My mouth went crashing into his. His arms came around me and my legs circled his waist. He stumbled back onto the sofa, fingers grabbing my ass. Hands were everywhere. He tasted of beer and smelled faintly of cologne and musk. My tongue ate him up while his hands fumbled for the drawstring of my waistband. We attacked each other without reserve. There were grunts and moans.
His lips moved to my earlobe, my neck, my chest. My hands slid down his back under his shirt and into the waistband of his pants, pulling him farther into me. His hard-on pushed against my thigh and I rolled my hips hard into his.
His hands roamed up and down my back, over my shoulders, onto my ass. I felt his thigh muscles moving under my legs and his back muscles moving under his shirt.
Between wet, hungry kisses on my lips, his deep voice rumbled, “So fucking hot.” I whimpered like an idiot and kissed him back as though I was starving and his mouth was a pie. My hands found the hem of his shirt and I lifted it over his head. Somehow I was already shirtless and his tongue was sucking one of my nipples into his mouth to grasp it lightly with his teeth. I gasped out his name and my head fell back.
His hands shucked off my sweatpants. Realizing I had nothing on underneath them made him do a comical, lusty double take. I was too horny to make a snarky comment so I spent my energy on relieving the suffering of his trapped erection. When I got his pants down, his cock poked out of the top of his boxers.
I leaned down to taste the drop of wetness at the tip. Teddy sucked in a breath and then let out a deep groan. I shoved his pants and underwear down until I had his entire shaft and sac at my disposal. My tongue started dancing over his hard cock while his breathing sped up and he reached his hands into my hair.
When I came back up to kiss him on the mouth, he slid a hand down my ass to tease my crease. I hummed a little and moved my lips down to his neck. He sucked on two fingers and then moved them to my—hole-y shit that felt amazing.
We were frantic with each other, full lust and want and animalistic noises. Before I knew it, Teddy had flipped me around so I was kneeling on a cushion with my forearms resting on the back of the sofa. He was behind me, pulling something out of his wallet on the coffee table, and the next thing I knew, a cold, lubed finger pushed into me. “Oh fuck,” I cried out.
“So hot, so fucking tight and hot.” He growled before latching his mouth on my earlobe and moving the long finger in and out of me.
“Ahh! Right there, Teddy. Don’t stop, oh god don’t stop,” I begged. He pulled his finger out after a few moments of me generally making a blubbery, slutty fool of myself and then sheathed himself in a condom.
He stilled over me for a moment and pressed his lips against my ear. “You sure, Jamie?” he asked in a low voice, making sure I was 100 percent on board. I nodded like a bobblehead. Before I had a chance to beg him further, he breached my hole in one swift, strong motion and slid into me.
“Mmpf!” I mumbled, nearly choking on my tongue from the incredible feeling of him slipping in and filling me.
He used his hips to tease me, alternating between light pulses, lazy circles, and brisk thrusts. I whimpered and begged, clutching his thighs and the sofa cushions. Teddy’s body had me wound up so tightly with lust that it only took one stupid word to detonate the bomb inside me.
“That’s it, sweetheart,” he breathed straight into my ear. My brain short-circuited, stars boomed through my vision, and every cell of my body zinged with pleasure.
He must have come too because I vaguely remember a roar and my name being repeated, but I honestly didn’t care. The only thing that mattered to me was the mind-blowing orgasm I’d had and its success at blowing my ex-fiancé off the map of my memory.
My post-orgasmic victory lap came to a screeching halt two seconds later when Theodore Fucking Kodiak opened his shit-for-brains mouth.
“Fuck, Jamie, I didn’t really mean it.”
Breath still heaving, I gasped, “What?”
“When I said we should have sex. I didn’t really mean it.” He pulled back and rested his forehead on my shoulder. Panting, he said, “Jamie. You are incredibly sexy, don’t get me wrong, I wanted you more than anything. But I didn’t mean for you to have angry revenge sex with me two seconds after saying you don’t want serious or casual sex.”
Rejection slammed into me like a hammer. I had known he didn’t really mean it, but I’d still thought it would be fun. “Anndd, he proves my point exactly. Fucking jackass.”
I peeled myself away from him and said, “Good night, Theodore,” before walking into my bedroom and closing the door.
