Stranded With The Billionaire by Brynn Paulin

Chapter Fourteen

~ Lily ~

Our second wedding moved me as much as the first. It wasn’t as sentimental, but the act of legally binding myself to Silas, locked my heart into place right beside his. We were so in sync in that moment; I felt as if our hearts beat in unison.

A few days later, not so much. After doting over me and showing me how welcome I was into the fold, making me feel a part of them in a way my own family never had, his parents and brother had headed back to the mainland and their own lives.

Since the day we’d arrived back, I’d barely seen Silas. The only reason I knew he was still at the plantation was that I woke in his arms in the middle of the night. He was gone before I opened my eyes in the morning and didn’t return until after I’d gone to bed. My meals and all the hours between sleep were spent alone.

In truth, I felt stranded in a different way. At least, on the other island, I hadn’t felt so awash on the waves, drifting unfettered. I’d had a place, specific things I needed to do for survival, and I’d known Silas was nearby. Perhaps due to proximity, I’d learned to depend on him when I’d always depended on myself before that.

After a week of basically being left to my own devices and feeling lonelier than ever, I was questioning everything—my place here, my decisions, Silas’ love for me. I mean, I knew I loved him, but maybe, his feelings weren’t so strong.

Enough wallowing. Time to reclaim myself. That was easier said than done. Silas had made a place for himself inside my soul. Being so abandoned, even while I vowed to get busy living my own life, left me hollow. I didn’t like who I’d become. I felt like a first-class, lazy, clinging whiner—not that I’d said anything to anyone about my feelings. Silas had been insistent that I “rest,” and I’d listened. Enough with the resting though. If my husband was going to busy himself with everything but me, I guess I should do the same. Sure, I knew he had to work, but his complete absence made me feel like…nothing.

Intellectually, I knew he hadn’t abandoned me. He held me tight for long hours at night as if he needed to remind himself of our connection, too. I also knew he had a lot of damage control to oversee after being absent for two months. He had good people, including David, who’d kept his businesses clicking away, but that wasn’t the same as the head guy being there.

That morning, day eight post-rescue—I’d never been such a day counter, but on our deserted island and now here, I counted to keep myself grounded. Anyway, that morning, it barely fazed me to find myself alone again.

Okay…lie!

It bothered me a lot. It just didn’t surprise me. My stomach felt queasy as it had the past few days. I ran for the bathroom, barely making it there before my body started turning itself inside out. Tears filled my eyes from the intensity of my being trying to expel the contents of my empty stomach. It hurt and my abs felt as if I’d been doing too many crunches.

This had been going on for a couple days, too, triggered randomly but all-too-often from morning to evening. I slumped on the floor and rested my forehead on the cool porcelain tile across from the toilet. In the romances I read, this was the part where my hero would rush in, pull back my hair, wipe my face with a cool cloth and carry me back to bed. My current existence…not so romantic.

My hand flattened over my belly. “I’ll always be here for you, my sweet babies,” I promised. My children would never feel abandoned, left to depend on themselves or unloved. Not if I could help it.

But I needed to buck the fuck up, stop moping and being bored out of my gourd. Enough “resting.” It was only messing with my mojo. I needed to establish a routine for myself and find my place here. If that didn’t help and if my husband who’d been so desperate to wed me remained absent, I might need to consider other options.

That idea punched me in my already sore the stomach. I hated that idea. I didn’t need him to run my life, to be by my side always, but I guess, I’d thought we’d be a team. That maybe, Silas would show me around, help me get settled here—maybe, fucking have dinner with his wife.

My thoughts were pretty sweary. Guess I was a little angry at him.

Enough, I told myself once again. I was a grown woman. I could handle my life on my own, thank you very much. I’d been mostly doing that since childhood. Nothing had changed. Unshed tears burned in my eyes. I’d traded one unwanted existence for another. I’d been an inconvenient nuisance to my parents. And now…I didn’t know what I was to Silas, but I felt seriously peripheral here, too.

In my head, I ran a two-column pros and cons list. On one side was my life away from here, one where my existence was dictated by my parents, where they wanted me to be with Kyle. On the other hand was being at Blue Water Plantation as Silas’ wife. Silas had far more pluses and fewer negatives than the former, but I wondered if I should have a third column. Life on my own.

That hurt. I loved Silas more than anything, possibly more than these little nuggets growing in my belly. I didn’t want to be without him for anything. I wanted to be faithful, loyal and understanding. But I wouldn’t live all my days being superfluous —I wouldn’t stay where I was unwanted. I couldn’t.

I took a deep breath. Time. I’d give it some time. I was a grown woman. I could handle this… I’d see how the next weeks went then make an informed decision. Today, I’d find my place here. That would go a long way to improving my spirits. For as long as I could remember, I’d needed a purpose. That’s what made me happy.

After taking care of my morning rituals and dressing, I headed to the living room. First things first…my yoga practice. My mat had been in the things I’d shipped ahead, so I’d unroll it next to the sparkling pool and find my zen. Then I’d figure my way to the school. I’d been hired to teach. I didn’t suppose that had changed—if it had, no one had told me. Though classes weren’t going on right now, they would be soon. I needed to prepare.

“Good morning!” Chef Lara called from the kitchen. “Just leaving you a veggie omelet in the warmer. There’s a cut fruit dish in the fridge to go with it.”

“Thank you. That sounds wonderful.”

“Since you’re up, do you want toast?”

I shook my head. “I’m going to do my yoga before I eat.”

Despite Silas’ claim that people didn’t come here, that wasn’t quite true. At midmorning, two maids came in to clean. At the same time, a man came to do daily maintenance to the pool. Twice a day, food was brought to our kitchen, for morning and lunch. I ate dinner in the mansion’s large dining room with many of the house staff. They were like a big family coming together at the end of the day, boisterous, fun and loving each other. They’d welcomed me as part of them, and it was quickly becoming the best part of my day. Lately, I felt much like staff anyway—the dutiful wife waiting off in the wings.

I shook away that “poor me” thought.

“How far is the school from here?” I asked.

“Not far. Quarter mile. I can arrange someone to drive you.”

Actually, the stroll would feel good. “Oh, that’s not necessary. I can walk over if you tell me the way.”

She was silent for a long moment. “I’ll arrange for Alonzo to take you. What time do you want to go?”

Something about her pause made me think she’d been instructed not to let me wander off on my own. That made me grit my teeth a little. I sighed and controlled my need to glare as I glanced at the clock over the electric fireplace. It was barely seven.

“Nine?” I asked. That would give me plenty of time for my morning routine.

“I’m sure that will be perfect. Mr. Silas asked me to leave those things for you,” she said, pointing toward the sun-filled breakfast area. Heading for it, I found an iPhone, tablet reader and a black credit card with my name on it, as well as my replacement IDs. A post-it on the card said: No limit. Whatever you want. Get some clothes and books.

Hmm…how much would it cost to have my husband for a few hours?

Pushing aside my plaguing thoughts, I turned on the phone and found it had been loaded with my numbers and past data. Nice. A little disconcerting but nice.

“Mrs. Lily?” Chef asked as I flattened my hands on the table and dropped my head forward.

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry for asking, but…is something wrong? You seem unhappy.”

I closed my eyes and grimaced. Then huffing a breath, I forced a smile then turned to look at her. “I’m…fine.”

She gave me such a motherly look, reminding me of my Marta back home. Her eyes narrowed, and she cocked her head. Clearly, she didn’t believe me.

“I mean…” I sighed again. “I guess I’m just off-kilter.”

She still didn’t say anything.

“Maybe…a little unsure of my place here,” I finally said. “If I should be here…”

I shrugged, making little of what I’d said, as if it weren’t too deep, as if each day of near-solitude wasn’t taking me back to the existence I’d tried so hard to escape.

“You’re lonely.”

“A little. I mean…I’m used to it. I grew up this way,” I told her. Then added under my breath, “I just always said I would never end up this way.”

“Mr. Silas…he doesn’t usually work these long hours,” she offered.

“If you say so.” I shrugged again. “I’m a grown woman. I don’t need him here to hold my hand and occupy my time like I’m a toddler.”

“But you’d like his time as the woman he loves, correct?”

My shoulder went up again. I wasn’t so confident in that love right that moment. Did that make me fickle? Weak? I didn’t need constant petting and reassurances, but…

“I just need to find my rhythm,” I said, pulling the blame back on me. This was me, not Silas. It wasn’t his fault I felt this way. With great privilege came great responsibility, right? He was just doing what was expected of him. I needed to do the same. “So…well, I came here to teach. I’m going to get started—get my classroom set up, anyway.”

She nodded, appearing unconvinced. “I’ll have your ride waiting at the front at nine.”

I nodded and thanked her then headed out to do my yoga. Today, I finished in child’s pose, kneeling with my legs under me and bottom just above my feet. My forehead rested on the ground while my arms stretched out in front, reaching for the front of the foam mat. I stayed that way for a while, just breathing in and out, getting lost in the noise that reminded me of the muted rumble of the ocean’s waves moving in and out from shore.

I closed my eyes and let my mind clear. The sound took me back to my favorite moments beside the Pacific, times when I was full of peace, despite the peril of being stranded. I was loved. I’d been in love. Had it been proximity? Now that he wasn’t forced to be with me, was Silas discovering it had been a false emotion?

I closed my eyes and drifted into thoughts of how things should be, of how I wanted them to be.

“Lily?”

I pulled my arms beneath me and turned my face toward the voice. Was it my imagination? I didn’t want to open my eyes and prove he wasn’t there. My mind drifted as I imagined how things could improve, how we could get on track.

“You’re crying.”

I hastily pushed up to sitting and scrubbed my hands over my face before peering up at him. “Am I? I didn’t realize. I…I was just thinking.”

“About what a shitty husband I am?”

Maybe, a little. “What?”

“So…Chef just came to my office—with no food—and read me the riot act. She said my wife is sad and I better get my head out of my ass and pay attention to her before she finds her way back to the mainland.”

“I…I didn’t say…that.”

“She’s perceptive. And you are sad. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t need you to hold my hand.” Even if I was lonely.

“I know that.” He came over and pulled me to my feet and into his arms. “There’s just been so much, but I shouldn’t have neglected you. I didn’t mean to.”

“I know you have your work—”

“I also have a wife. And I love her. More than life, and more than that work. More than anything.”

God, I so needed to hear that. I sighed and moved out of position before I got stiff and counteracted the whole point of my morning stretches. I could fantasize about Silas coming to his senses all I wanted. What good was it?

The reality was, he did have a massive amount of work to attend to now that he was back. A multi-billion dollar empire needed leadership, so the wheels didn’t come off. Yes, it had been okay for a little while, but Silas hadn’t grown his wealth and his businesses by automating. I knew that.

I also knew my life didn’t and couldn’t revolve around him. Revolve with him, but not around him. Having a healthy relationship meant I needed to maintain my mental wellbeing, my independence, and not wait for scraps from Silas.

The time would come when he didn’t have to put all his focus on work. I’d give him a month. If he didn’t start giving me adequate time by then, we’d have a discussion. Deep down, I knew this hurt him as much as me.

He was the center of my universe now, and I was his. But he wasn’t my whole universe. I had so much to do and to explore. A whole life here to build. I flattened my hand on my stomach. Two little futures to plan.

While I hadn’t been a slug the past week—I’d socialized with his family, my new family, and gotten the feel of the house and its rhythms—I hadn’t roamed and gotten fully in step with what I’d do here at the plantation.

With a plan in mind, I gathered my IDs, the credit card and the electronics from the kitchen then headed toward the bedroom. I nodded at the two women who’d just come in to clean the apartment. “I’ll be about twenty minutes in the bedroom then it will be free,” I told them.

“Take as long as you need, Missus,” the older one replied. Both women, beautiful sisters with long, thick black braids down their backs, almond-shaped eyes, and smooth, café au lait-toned skin, were about my age. One was a little older and one was younger than me. I’d chatted with them over dinner one night and found out Mya, the younger one, was about to leave for college and Tamsyn, the older girl, was planning her wedding to her longtime boyfriend, who managed crop operations.

“It’s Lily, remember?” I reminded Tamsyn.

“Right. Mrs. Lily.” She grinned at me, silently telling me that was the best I’d get, and I laughed, shaking my head. Quickly, I showered then dressed in sapphire-blue Capris and a cream-colored tunic embroidered in a matching blue. Casual but put together. It seemed like a good look for my first time to the school. I didn’t want to be overdressed and appear stuffy or stuck-up, but I didn’t want to be too casual as if I didn’t take the school and my job there seriously.

I pulled my hair back into a loose braid then grabbed my tote and stuffed in my reader and phone, along with my IDs because I wasn’t sure where to put them right now. I didn’t have a purse, per se, and I didn’t want to leave them lying around. A glance at my watch told me I had plenty of time to eat before heading out front to grab the ride Chef had insisted upon.

* * * *

~ Silas ~

I hated this. Well…not this. I loved my work and the exhilaration of making good deals and thereby great money. I enjoyed securing my future and that of my family and my employees. What I did not like was harnessing all the spinning plates that had gone largely unattended the past two months. It kept me from what I really wanted—being with my wife.

My days had been long, starting early and ending far too late. Lying in bed at night with her soothed me, but I was careful not to wake her even though I craved to sink into her sweet depths and feel my true home…the new home we’d established together. She needed her rest, and I could wait. I’d do nothing to jeopardize her health or that of our two children.

I still couldn’t believe we were pregnant and having twins. God, she was so perfect, and this gift she was giving me…exquisite. The longing I’d been fighting clamped over me in near-pain, and I started to my feet, ready to go to her. A notification popped up on my left PC screen, halting me, and I sank back to my seat. Another “emergency.”

One thing had become clearly apparent the past couple days. Some of my “fantastic” managers weren’t so fantastic after all. For men and women in such high-level positions, they were idiots who were just amazingly skilled at looking to me for direction then implementing. That wasn’t what I needed from them. Yes, they reported to me and needed to act in my interests and toward my known desires, but damn it! I wasn’t in the business of hand-holding!

Besides reining in loose ends, I was now tasked with cleaning house. I pressed my fingers to the inner corners of my eyes, trying to stave off the tension headache throbbing behind them. Not enough sleep, too much caffeine and stress, not enough of my wife…all of it was making for a pretty unbearable migraine.

Not much longer,I told myself. Not much longer and all the plates will be back in sync. I don’t know why I always fell back on the plate illustration. I just knew I had multiple projects, and if one teetered, it wouldn’t be long before the others teetered, too. And God forbid, I let anything fall. It would be a world-class disaster for me and hundreds of employees. My own happiness could wait a little while.

“’Morning, Mr. Silas,” Chef said, coming into the room sideways with the tray she carried. “Coffee, lime Perrier and ibuprofen… Breakfast of the champions,” she scoffed, setting it on the credenza beside me. “I added fruit, toast and a couple boiled eggs, in case you come to your senses and eat something.”

“Thank you,” I replied, not acknowledging her sarcasm. She was right; I did need to eat something. “How’s Lily settling in?”

She fiddled with the edge of her apron and didn’t look my way. “I’m sure she’d be better if she saw her husband once in a while. She was doing her yoga and planned to head over to the school this morning.”

My head shot up. “I don’t want her going by herself.”

“Calm down,” she admonished. “I arranged a ride over. She’s not going on her own—not that the plantation is dangerous, sir. You act like wild Huns will swoop in and steal her.”

“I just don’t want…” What? Her alone. I sure as hell had left her to her own devices enough this week. By next week, though, I should be freed up. I looked forward to working in the mornings then spending long afternoons loving my wife. Or maybe, spending long, lazy mornings with her in my arms before I headed in to work in the afternoons. There would be times when I worked full days or traveled, but I wouldn’t be missing any more dinners, and she wouldn’t be going to bed alone. When I had to leave for business, I’d arrange it around her school schedule and bring her with me.

“I know,” Chef replied, but I didn’t miss her rolled eyes. She turned to leave, and I called my assistant, Rosalie. “What’s pressing on my agenda?”

“Video conference with Japan in forty-five minutes, one-on-one call with your German operation head directly after that, an interview with a Mr. Ewing this afternoon,” Rosalie replied. “His file is on your desk, along with the data you asked for in advance of your meetings.”

Right…the guy who’d lead one of my divisions if he impressed me. He’d already made it through two interviews, so mine was more to see if I liked him than anything else. My people had already vetted his credentials, and he’d sufficiently impressed them.

“His boat will be in at 12:30, and the interview is at one.”

“Thanks, Rose. There’s a room ready for him?”

“Of course, sir.”

I glanced at my watch and set a timer for thirty-five minutes. “I’ll be back in forty,” I told her. Rising, I stuck the two boiled eggs in my office’s mini-fridge then grabbed the toast and a small bowl of grapes and dashed from my office, intent on one thing—seeing my wife. I ate on my way to our quarters, multi-tasking and all, and stepped through the door, just after I’d gobbled down the last of the fruit. I didn’t see Lily in the main area and headed toward the sound coming from the bedroom.

To my disappointment, it was two maids, one changing our sheets and the other dusting. I sighed, dropping my head forward, my hands on my hips.

“Sir,” one of them said.

“My wife?”

“She left about fifteen minutes ago, Mr. Silas,” the younger of the two girls answered. I thought they were sisters. I knew the older one was engaged to my plantation foreman. I mentally reminded myself to make sure they received a generous gift. I knew they’d delayed the wedding when I’d been missing, thinking it inappropriate to celebrate when I might have died so recently.

But I hadn’t died, and I’d been the one to get married. And…I’d missed my wife by minutes. Vowing to wrap things up early today so we could spend the evening together, I headed back to my office.

A few more days. Just a few more days.