Tormented Royal by Lily Wildhart
Chapter Eight
“Do you think he was pissed?”
I glance over at Indi sitting in my passenger seat, chewing on her lip. She’s been fidgety ever since I picked her up for school this morning. Gone is the badass that helped me dump clothes on Lincoln’s doorstep, and in her place is the sunshine child who doesn’t want to hurt anyone.
“I mean, probably, but he was pissed at me anyway. This won’t have made much of a difference. Plus, I don’t give a shit if he’s pissed. After everything they’ve done to me this last week, they deserve to be pissed off.” I smile at her, trying to reassure her, but she wrings her hands in her lap. I haven’t even told her everything that’s happened, and right now I’m glad for that. I’m not sure her sunshine persona could handle the avalanche of bullshit I’ve been buried under. “Don’t worry, even if he is, I won’t let anything happen to you. You did your time with the bitch squad already. I won’t let being my friend drag you down harder.”
Her eyes go wide, and she shakes her head. “Oh please, that isn’t what I meant at all. I just mean like, the bitch squad are the ones who have been messing with you so far. What if the boys step up their assholeishness? I’m not worried for me, just for you. You’ve only been back at ECP a week, and look at what you’ve already dealt with.”
My heart swells at her words. Total sunshine child. She is literally the embodiment of joy in a dark little alternative shell. For the first time in a long time, it’s nice knowing that I have someone who is one hundred percent on my side and has my best interests at heart. “Don’t worry about me. I grew up here, playing these games is practically a legacy, a part of my blood. Blair and her little minions already took the last few things that were precious to me. There isn’t anything more they can do to truly hurt me.”
My mind flashes over everything they’ve already done. I’m not really sure that it can get worse than it has.
“I don’t know, you have some pretty banging hair, and I’ve seen the Saint Squad do some pretty shitty things.”
I shrug as I pull into a space in the student lot. “It’s just hair, it’ll grow back. But trust me, they won’t go after my hair. I swear, Blair’s hair is her greatest treasure, so she wouldn’t want me to retaliate that way. She might seem like a dumb bitch, but she’s calculating as hell.”
“Okay,” she starts but cuts off with a squeak as Raleigh jumps in front of the hood.
He lets out a whistle before walking around and opening my door for me as I grab my bag from behind Indi’s seat. I look up and see Jackson at her door, and she’s blushing like crazy. I wink at her, which just makes the red on her cheeks deepen closer to maroon as he opens her door.
“Good weekend?” I ask Raleigh as I lock the car.
“Yeah, not so bad, just chilled and slayed Jackson on Apex and all that. It was a pretty chill weekend. You?” We circle toward the back of the car, reaching the other two as he asks, and Indi’s eyes widen comically, looking like a deer in headlights. I give her a small shake of my head.
“It was fine,” I tell him, the lies like ash in my mouth. No need to dump my baggage everywhere since it won’t help me anyway. “We went car shopping, obviously, and I moved back into my old house. It was a pretty chill one too.”
“That is one sweet-ass ride,” Jackson says with a whistle as he slings an arm over Indi’s shoulder. “I mean, compared to the others in the lot, she stands out. She’s got that old school beauty.”
“Yes, yes she does.” I beam, glancing back at my car before climbing the steps to the school. “I need to hit the library quickly before I head to class, so I’ll see you guys later.”
“Oh, I’ll come with you, I need to ask Mrs. Smith to source a book for me,” Indi exclaims, ducking out of Jackson’s hold. He protests, and her blush goes damn near as purple as her hair as we walk away with a wave.
“Well, that looked cozy,” I tease, bumping her shoulder with mine.
She grips her books against her chest and glances at me from the side of her eyes. “I have no idea what that was.”
“That was the start of something.” I grin and then hum the High School Musical song at her until she pushes me away laughing.
“You are such a dork.”
“I know, but I totally rock the dork thing.” I grin as we reach our lockers. My smile drops when I notice the new ‘art’ engraved into my locker door.
Slut.
How original.
“People are such assholes,” Indi hisses, her anger worse than mine.
I shrug and open my locker. “Fuck them and their opinions. Words can’t hurt me if I don’t let them.” I smile over my shoulder at her, but she doesn’t look like she agrees. “Let me just throw my stuff in my locker, then we can hit the library on the way to English.”
“Sounds good to me, I’ll do the same.” She huffs, and I hope she’ll just ignore the latest attempt at tearing me down. I need her to treat it the same way I am. As nothing but pathetic. She ditches her stuff while I unload mine and is back before I’m even done.
“Octavia, we should talk.” I groan at the sound of Lincoln’s voice.
“Will you run to the library for me, get your thing, and then check out Jane Eyre for me? There’s something about the feel of a real book when you’re reading the classics, you know?”
“Are you sure?” Indi asks quietly, her gaze bouncing over my shoulder to Lincoln. I don’t need to actually see his face to know how annoyed he is that I haven’t actually addressed him. I can already picture his face, which is exactly why I’m still facing her instead of him.
“I’m sure. I won’t be long.” I smile at her, trying to reassure her, and she nods before scurrying away. I love that she’s willing to go against Lincoln, Maverick, and Finley on my behalf, but I also totally understand her fear of them after surviving a year at this school alone.
I take a deep breath and shut my locker before turning to face the guy in question, with a saccharine smile on my face. “Lincoln, what can I do for you?”
“You can take back the things I bought for you. I told you, you have no control until you leave. Don’t make me force the matter again.” He leans against the locker, like he’s as casual as casual gets, but the tightness of his shoulders and the tic in his jaw tells me just how tense he is, really. I can feel the eyes of people in the halls on us, but I’m determined not to make a scene. I’ve had enough of that already.
Then it hits me what he means, and I feel a blush creep up my chest. I know he notices because his jaw relaxes, and he has that smug-ass smile of his back for a moment. He’s too close right now, but I don’t want to take a step back. I don’t want him to know that he’s getting to me as much as he is, so I take a deep breath and tough it out.
“I don’t want the things you bought, Lincoln, so no, I will not take them back. I already went shopping for myself. Return them, burn them, donate them—I don’t care… That's a lie, I’d totally rather you donated them, but still. I won’t take them. What was taken from me was irreplaceable—control or not.”
“Why do you always have to be so obstinate?” he growls through clenched teeth.
“Pot, meet kettle,” I say, flicking my hair over my shoulder, pulling on the rage from everything that’s happened so far as I face him down. I’m sure this moment of stupid bravery is going to be short lived and something he’ll make me regret later. But for now, I’m going to cling to it like it's my last lifeline. “Now if that’s everything, I have to get to class.”
He doesn’t say a word, just narrows his eyes and glares at me. I know I’ve poked the bear. And I know I might possibly regret it later, but dammit, I don’t want to be the weak damsel he and his friends keep turning me into.
* * *
Compared to last week, this morning has been a breeze. My classes have been easy enough, and even Music didn’t send me into a spiraling melt down. I’m calling it a good morning.
Even Blair didn’t bother to acknowledge my existence, and I for one, am thankful for it. Because if she tries me today, I’m likely to lose my shit. I’ve been just about keeping myself together, like a reasonable human being, but if she mentions Friday night, I will not be held responsible for my actions.
I walk into the cafeteria, arm in arm with Indi, and I wave over at Raleigh when he calls my name. We grab a tray each and slide into the line, but then the room goes so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I’m immediately on alert in the seconds before I feel heat at my back. Indi turns to face me and startles. I don’t have to question who’s behind me.
I paint a smile on my face as I turn to find Maverick standing way too close behind me. “Can I help you?”
He smirks back at me before leaning into my personal space and whispering, “I can think of a lot of ways you can help me, V.”
I jolt back, hating that I’m giving him the power yet again, but I don’t want him that close, or even in my space at all. Shoving him backward would only start something I’m not willing to finish here in the cafeteria.
“Pretty sure you can help yourself with that,” I sneer before turning my back on him and facing Indi again. I grab my tray from the counter and encourage Indi to move forward. She still doesn’t know what happened, and I’m not ready for Maverick to out me. I’ve helped him plenty already.
When nothing happens to satisfy the needs of the drama-seeking student body, the noise in the cafeteria starts back up, and we make our way to the table we claimed as ours last week, waving at the football guys as we pass them.
“That was weird,” Indi says as she slides into the chair opposite me.
“Maverick has always enjoyed games,” I tell her, trying to breeze past it and dig into the chicken and broccoli Alfredo I picked for my lunch, groaning at how good it tastes. I swear the food in this place is the only redeeming feature of the entire school. I mean, the teachers are okay for the most part, minus the whole ‘being afraid of the students’ thing. I can almost understand that, though. They’re just here to get a paycheck, and these kids could ruin their lives in a heartbeat; but shit, it’s frustrating.
“He definitely seems like the crazy one of the three,” she says, cracking open her soda and taking a sip. She has no fucking idea.
“Who’s crazy?”
I groan as Maverick slides into the seat beside me, and Indi about chokes on her drink, spluttering over the maniac of a boy sitting next to me.
“Why are you here?” I ask, glaring at him.
“It’s lunchtime, where else would I be?” His eyes dance with delight, and I want to nut punch him, just to wipe the stupid smile from his face.
“Why are you sitting here, Maverick?” The words come out through a tightly clenched jaw. I hate how much they affect me without even really trying.
He clasps at his chest, a look of mocking disbelief on his face. “Why, Octavia, are you saying I’m not welcome here? And here was me thinking we could be friends.”
“Maverick Riley, you have made it all too clear that we are not friends anymore. So fuck off and sit with your actual friends.” I try to put a brave face on, letting my anger lead me, and point over to where Lincoln and Finley are watching us. Their matching frowns almost make me want to laugh, but I clamp it down in favor of maintaining the stern look I’m giving Maverick.
“I don’t remember doing any such thing.” He’s so fucking nonchalant as he reaches over and takes one of Indi’s fries. I slap his hand so he drops the fry while Indi just watches us. Her panic is clear. She has no clue what to do right now, so I smile at her, trying to reassure her.
“Leave her fucking food alone, you heathen.” I swear his grin grows, and I just want to roll my eyes at him.
“Heathen… I do like it when you give me pet names, princess.” He winks at me before he turns his gaze on Indi, and I swear she blanches. “She doesn’t mind, do you, Indigo?”
“Don’t be such a dick, Maverick.” I sigh, leaning back in my chair. “Of course she minds. If she wanted you to have her lunch, she’d have offered it, and she didn’t.”
“Fine, fine. I see I’m not wanted.” He brushes his hands together as he stands, but leans down to whisper in my ear again. “But don’t think that I’m done, V. I told you you were off-limits, and you bucked against it. You’ll see what happens when you defy me if you keep this up.”
An icy drop of dread runs down my spine, making my entire body shiver, but I keep the bored look on my face as he pulls back. There’s no way in hell I’m letting him think he’s actually managing to intimidate me. Not again. I don’t know what his little show today has been about, but I’m going to work it out. How can they possibly think that what they’ve already done isn’t enough?
Those three are frustrating as fuck, and I am already so over it.
He saunters back toward his usual table, and Indi’s color comes back to her face more and more with each step away from us he takes.
“Sorry,” I sigh at her, but she shakes her head.
“No, I’m sorry. I need to grow a backbone when it comes to those three. I can face off against Blair and the bitch squad without really thinking twice, but there is just something dark about those three that makes my blood turn to ice.”
I shrug before picking at my lunch again. “I get it. Something’s definitely changed with them since I left, I just wish I knew what their game was.”
“With the rumors I’ve heard around this place, it could range from just some bored fun to something fucking deadly. Please be careful.” My eyebrows raise at her comment. What the actual fuck does she mean deadly? Apparently I’ve been away from here for way too long, but if they’ve set their sights on me, I’m not about to back down.
Deadly or not.
* * *
We make it through the rest of lunch without any drama, and I leave Indi to head to her class as I meander toward my locker. I have French next, and considering the amount of time I’ve spent in France, it’s not really a class I’m worried about passing. I speak six different languages, all fluently, thanks to my badass tour tutors.
“Octavia!” I groan at the sound of my name on Lincoln’s lips again. What is it with him and Maverick trying to steal the small moments of peace I find?
“Yes, Lincoln?” I turn to face him, crossing my arms. It might be a small barrier between us, but I’ll take any barriers I can get until I work out what the fuck he’s playing at. I don’t think he’d attack me in the hall, but I wouldn’t put anything past him at this point.
“I want you to reconsider the gifts.” He frowns at me, and it’s more than apparent that he’s not used to people telling him no. Despite their father not being around much, the Saints basically own this town, so I’m sure no one has ever really told him no in his life.
I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. “I don’t want the clothes, Lincoln.”
“Why not?”
“Because they weren’t a gift. I’m not a willing participant in this game you're playing. You can try to intimidate me all you like, but I’m not budging on this. You already took enough from me.”
His frown deepens, and his shoulders tense. “You always could see me like no other.”
His muttering makes absolutely no sense to me, so I just raise an eyebrow and wait for him to get on with whatever it is he has to say.
He takes a step forward, so close I can feel the heat of his skin as his warm, earthy scent assaults me. I refuse to step back and give him the space I did Maverick in the cafeteria. I can feel that he’s a different kind of dangerous, and I just need to work out exactly how. “A lot has changed since you left. You’d have been better off not coming back here.”
“Oh awesome, we’re back to this again. You’re a broken record, Lincoln. I already told you, I didn’t have a choice.”
His entire demeanor changes, turning icy cold. He narrows his eyes, and his calculating stare makes me hold my breath. Something just changed, and I have no idea what or why.
He grips my arms, so tightly I think I might bruise, before leaning down until we’re eye to eye. “Don’t get me started on things you don’t have a choice in, Octavia. You should’ve stayed away. But you’re here now, and that means you need to get the fuck in line before you get hurt.”
“The only thing hurting me right now, Lincoln, is you.” I try to pull away, but his grip is like a vise.
“You can’t imagine the things that could hurt you here. Everything so far… that's just a small taste. Your dad might have taken the easy way out, but at least he got out. He left you here to fend for yourself in his stead like a fucking coward.” His biting tone has nothing on the pain piercing my heart.
“You don’t get to talk about my dad like you knew him,” I hiss, pushing him away from me. “You have no idea what he went through or why he did what he did.” Tears threaten to fall at the thought, but I won’t let them fall here. Not in front of him. Not like this.
“You have no idea what I know,” he growls before standing up straight and smoothing down his blazer. I have no idea what the fuck he’s talking about, but I don’t have a chance to ask him before he turns on his heel and stalks away from me.
My emotions roar inside of me like a storm I can’t outrun.
Anger.
Confusion.
Devastation.
The emotions build to a roaring pitch inside of me as I watch him walk away. I’m startled by the bell followed by the principal’s voice through the intercom. “An assembly has been called in place of your next class. Please make your way to the auditorium. Attendance is mandatory.”
The halls fill with noise and bodies in an instant as kids spill out of their classrooms. It’s damn near suffocating, and I struggle to breathe as they force their way past me in the halls to get to the auditorium. This is all way too fucking much.
“Fuck this,” I mutter, and walk in the opposite direction of the auditorium. I need a refuge right now, and there is only one place I can think of to go.
* * *
I sit down on the piano bench, my fingers touching the cool ivory. It feels like it’s been forever since I played. The quiet of the room soothes me. I know that no one else is on this side of the school, at least no one that truly matters, not when everyone else is in the auditorium. My chest aches with thoughts of the last time I played, messing around with my dad on his stage before his show, just playing because we loved it. It was our thing. Before every show, he’d clear everyone out except for Mac, and we’d just play the songs we loved the most. Him on his guitar, me on the keys.
I start to play, the soft chords fill the room as silent tears fall down my face. I know the reason I haven’t played in forever is the exact reason I’m playing right now. It makes me feel. Too much. Everything. I just need to let this raging storm of me out. Just a bit of it though, otherwise I’m going to break so catastrophically that I might not come back from it.
I fall into the music, playing out every swirling emotion that’s been rotting inside of me since he died.
Every single thing I’ve dealt with since I came back to Echoes Cove pours out of me, and I start to sing my old favorite song for any kind of heartbreak. I put every piece of myself into the music, like cutting myself open and letting myself bleed over everything, while ignoring the tears that track down my face, instead focusing on feeling every fucking thing I’ve been avoiding. I never usually let myself cry, despite being pushed to it by others so far this year, but just this once, I let go of the walls I’ve kept around myself since everything happened with my dad.
The song draws to a close, the soft tinkling of the ivory echoing in the room, eventually giving way to absolute silence beyond my own breaths.
“Octavia…” I spin on the bench and find Finley standing in the doorway, his voice barely more than a whisper. Just like the dark knight that he is, watching me in the shadows. The emotion on his face isn’t anything I’ve seen before. At least not from him, but I don’t care. Not anymore. Not after everything that’s happened recently. I stand, clutching my arms against myself. I have no idea how long he’s been there, and even though I’m fully clothed, I’ve never felt more exposed in my entire life.
I rush past him, tears still streaming down my face. I do not have the emotional capacity to deal with Finley Knight right now. I hear his heavy footsteps behind me, and he reaches me before I make it to the end of the hall. He grabs me from behind, pulling me back until my body is flush to his chest, and just holds me against him. I cave and lean into him, pretending the comfort is coming from anyone but him. He turns me around once he realizes I’m not going to struggle, and wraps me in his arms as I war with myself over taking comfort from someone who is one of the main reasons I need it.
He holds me until my tears slow, pulling back to wipe them from my face after a couple of minutes. He cups my face gently. “Octavia…”
His voice is like a bucket of cold water.
This isn’t right.
I untangle from his arms, despite his protests, and turn and walk away from him.
Finley Knight is not the guy who comforts you. He’s the guy that makes you cry. Something I’m all too fucking aware of. He’s still the guy who iced me out the second I got back here, and I’m not stupid enough to think this means something now. He might have caught me at my weakest, but I’d be an idiot to think this changes anything.
We’re still not friends, and we’re definitely not what we used to be.
I doubt we ever will be again.