Mistakes I’ve Made by Jordan Marie

20Callie

Three Days Later

“Callie, we need to talk.”

I close my eyes, my entire body tensing. I turn from my locker to face the man who ripped my heart out.

“I don’t think we have anything to say to one another, Reed.”

“I need to explain.”

I laugh. It’s bitter and the misery that I’m in comes out in the sound, but I don’t care. I don’t care about much of anything.

“Trust me, Reed, there’s nothing you can say that I want to hear.”

“I didn’t mean for you to see that. Hell, I don’t even know what you saw,” he says scrubbing his hand into his hair, worrying it.

“Entirely too much,” I snap. “I saw entirely too much.”

He jerks as if I hit him. For a second, I think I see confusion and maybe even fear on his face, but I shake my head and turn away from him. I’m just looking for a sign that I’m wrong about Reed. It doesn’t even matter anymore.

I start walking toward my next class. Reed doesn’t let me escape, though. He grabs my arm and pulls me around to face him. The last three days I’ve been thankful that I haven’t seen Reed. I spent Sunday at home, hiding from him, from Mitch, Katie—everyone. Monday, I was anxious the entire day at school, praying I wouldn’t run into Reed. He didn’t come to school, but I still worried he would show up. Today, when I pulled into the parking lot and saw Reed’s truck, I knew my luck was over. I thought of our confrontation a million times, but the speech I had mentally prepared has disappeared. I can’t think of one thing to say.

Mostly I want to beg him to leave me alone.

“Callie, I was drunk.”

“So?” I snap, looking into the face of the man that made me fall in love with him. But then, he’s not a man. He’s a boy. There’s a reason I’ve never been attracted to guys younger than me. I should have never forgotten that.

“It didn’t mean anything. Hell, I can’t even remember what happened,” he mutters.

“That’s disgusting.”

“I know! God! Don’t you think I know that? I don’t understand how it happened. I just know that had I been sober, it wouldn’t have. It’s not what I wanted.”

“Stop, Reed. Why are you even bothering to explain to me? We weren’t dating. We weren’t even talking anymore. You’re the asshole who screamed at me for taking your brother to the prom—like I wasn’t good enough,” I growl. I don’t want to hear his excuses. I know that makes me a bitch but hearing what he said about being drunk makes me feel uncomfortable. It’s over. Bridges have been burned. I just want him to leave me alone. If I never see him or Mitch ever again, I’m more than okay with that.

“God, that wasn’t it. Shit, Callie. That wasn’t it. When I heard you were Mitch’s date to the prom, I lost my shit,” he grumbles.

“Poor little Reed, so misunderstood,” I mock. “I wasn’t going to the prom with Mitch.”

“Don’t lie to me, Callie.”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you,” I laugh. There’s absolutely no humor in it, however. “I’m not the liar here. I went to the prom stag, Reed. You see, I was having feelings for the man—boy—I thought was my best friend. I didn’t want to go to the prom with anyone else. I only wanted to be with you. You destroyed that,” I snap.

“I… I don’t understand. Chas said you and Mitch were—”

“Spare me, please. I don’t want to hear anything about your girlfriend,” I growl.

“Chas isn’t my girlfriend!” he roars.

“Your fuck-buddy, then.”

“Damn it, Callie, I’m telling you I don’t know how that happened. I didn’t want—”

“Ask me if I give a damn, Reed.”

“You said you had feelings for me,” he reminds me, and I want to scream at him. I don’t. He doesn’t deserve any emotion from me.

“Had is the key word, Reed. Had.”

“Callie,” he responds, his voice achingly sad. Then again, maybe I just think that because that’s exactly how my heart feels right now.

“I was cured of any feelings for you when I saw your girlfriend riding you and offering to let me and Mitch join in.”

“Jesus, Callie—”

“You need to turn away and leave me alone, Reed. We weren’t dating. I realize that. I realize I don’t have a right to be mad and that’s on me.”

“We meant something to one another, Callie. We still do.”

“I thought we did. I thought we were more than friends. I thought we were special. Turns out, I was completely wrong.”

“We were. We could be again, Callie. You said you were having feelings for me. Bluebird, I’ve been in love with you for so long. We can get past this. Give me a chance. Give us a chance.”

“You love me,” I laugh, the words cutting me open inside.

“More than I could ever tell you.”

I look at him. His dark hair ruffled, the curls scattered and laying every which way. His pale blue shirt is worn and stretched over his chest. His jeans are just as faded. He looks beautiful standing before me, but he’s not.

He’s ugly.

“That’s rich, Reed, because those are exactly the words you said to Chasity right before you screamed you were coming. I guess those words come easy to someone like you.”

I turn away from him. Then, I jog down the hall, wanting nothing more than to get far, far away from Reed Lane.