Mistakes I’ve Made by Jordan Marie

30Callie

“Well, this is a surprise. You’re looking good, Callie.”

I give Mitch a weak smile, before looking down. I notice I’m wringing my hands together and I stop that instantly. I don’t want to be here. Shit, I feel like I’m going behind Reed’s back, which is crazy. Still, I know I need to approach this. I don’t really think I have a choice after talking to Reed last night.

“Thanks,” I laugh, willing myself to relax.

“I didn’t even know you knew where I lived,” he says, and I can tell he’s studying me.

“Reed told me,” I admit, although that’s kind of a lie. Reed let it slip one night that he was living in a rental until across from Joe’s bar. It was said in passing, mostly because he was pissed that Mitch didn’t even try to help their mother anymore, but I made note of it.

Probably because I knew that someday I’d have to talk to him about this.

I can see this flicker of emotion move over Mitch’s face. I shouldn’t feel guilty, but I do—which is insane. It’s not like Mitch and I have a relationship, or even had one. It was a one-night kind of thing and what we shared was revenge sex if it was anything.

Well, that and just plain stupid.

“Reed? You hooking up with my brother, Callie?” he asks and there’s an edge to his voice that makes me feel even more uncomfortable than I already am.

“It’s not like that, Mitch. I…I was wondering if we could talk?”

“Sure,” he says, scrubbing his hand against his jaw, scratching the neatly trimmed beard that he’s grown. He steps back to wave me inside. I stare at him, unsure of what I’m doing. His hair is a lighter color than his brother’s and is really disheveled. His brown eyes are nowhere near as intense, but beautiful just the same. His body is more defined, and he has ink covering the entirety of both arms and across his chest. He’s very different from Reed, who doesn’t have ink at all. He’s talking about it, wanting something small on his arm, but he’s been putting money toward getting his own place and a good vehicle first.

The two men couldn’t be more different—despite being brothers. I look back to my first day at school and remember that, at the time, I thought Mitch was the better looking of the two. Mitch is hot, but now, when I look at him, I don’t think he could hold a candle to Reed. It’s funny how quick things can change.

I realize I’ve just been standing here looking at a shirtless Mitch and not moving. I shake my head and go inside. Mitch gives me a knowing smile. He probably thinks I’ve been busy staring at his body. I know a lot of girls do, so it’s not really conceited for him to think I am, too. That’s not it, but he can think what he wants at this point. I just need his reassurance that we won’t hurt Reed.

That’s it.

It seems simple, but I know it is anything but.

My nose crinkles as I step into the dark apartment. It smells reminiscent of what the boy’s weight room did at school. There are empty pizza boxes lying around, dirty clothes—or what I assume are dirty—lying around everywhere. There are empty beer cans and bottles, too. It’s definitely a bachelor pad—my mother would call it a pigsty and she wouldn’t be wrong, really.

When he shuts the door, the room goes almost completely dark. The sound of the door closing makes me jump slightly and I tense up. I don’t relax until he flips the overhead light on. A buzzing noise, although quiet, begins and I look up to see the overhead lighting is just an old florescent shop light. There are two windows in the large room that serves as a kitchen and sitting area, but those are covered with heavy black curtains. There’s no way light could get in if it wanted to. Mitch works nights, so I guess that’s understandable. It is depressing, though.

“I was hoping you came here because you were thinking of me the way I’ve been thinking of you, Callie. Somehow, though, I’m thinking that’s not what is up, is it?”

I swallow, my throat feeling suddenly dry.

“Not really,” I respond, wishing he hadn’t said he’d been thinking of me. That’s just going to make this whole thing harder, and I don’t want that.

“Then, maybe you should tell me what’s up,” he says.

“Reed and I are dating, Mitch.”

I thought maybe he’d have heard through the small-town gossip train that’s notorious in Macon. Apparently, that’s not the case.

“Wow, I did not see that coming.”

“Mitch, you know how much I’ve always cared for Reed,” I murmur because he does. I didn’t make a secret of that, not ever. Since the night we had sex, I was crying and drinking because of his brother—that can’t even come as a surprise to him.

“Yeah, I know. I guess I just never saw you as the type to take Chasity’s sloppy seconds,” he says, and I flinch.

“That’s not nice,” I whisper.

He studies me, arms crossed in front of him. They slowly drop to his sides, and he lets out a loud breath that’s filled with irritation. I’m sure it’s all directed at me although when he speaks, he’s almost gentle.

“You’re right, Callie, it’s not. I just don’t understand what’s so special about my brother that you couldn’t even give the two of us a chance. I could have made you happy, Callie. I know I could have if you had just given me the chance.”

“I couldn’t do that to Reed, it would have hurt him if you and I started dating, Mitch.”

“Yeah, apparently, it’s okay for you to hurt me, though. Huh?”

I flinch, as guilt pools in my stomach. Instinctively, I go back to worrying my hands together.

“Believe it or not, Mitch, I truly never meant to hurt you. What happened between you and me….”

“Was good Callie. You can deny it all you want, but what we shared that night was really good.”

“It never should have happened. I was upset and drinking.”

“You were drinking, but you knew what you were doing, Callie. You begged me to make love to you.”

I blink. He’s right I knew what I was doing, but I never used the term love. I asked him to help me forget. That’s all. Did Mitch have feelings for me back then that colors how he remembers that night? How could I not have seen it?

“I never meant to hurt you, Mitch. I didn’t know you had feelings for me,” I respond, feeling helpless to fix all of the shit that I’ve messed up.

Mitch rubs the side of his neck and takes a step backward—moving away from me. The air between us is tense and filled with words that are so much better left unsaid.

“Yeah, well, I did. I still do, Callie,” he says and I close my eyes and hold my head down.

“I’m sorry, Mitch. I really am.”

“Yeah, I am, too, Callie. Everyone thinks Reed is the good one out of the two of us, but I’m telling you right now, he’s going to hurt you, baby. He’s going to hurt you bad.”

“That’s my choice to make,” I tell him.

He stares at me and nods his head. He flops down on the chair behind him and stares at me. He doesn’t offer me a seat, not that there’s a place to sit amongst all the dirty laundry and pizza boxes, but still. Instead, after a moment of silence, he shakes his head as if I’ve disappointed him.

“So, why are you here, Callie?” he mumbles.

“I need your help.”

I can see that confuses him. He blinks, his brow crinkling, and he shrugs. “Why would you need my help?”

“Reed doesn’t know about…” I stop talking for a minute, unable to get the rest of my words out. Finally, I take a breath and try again. “He doesn’t know what happened that night I found him and Chasity together.” I swallow down the misery I feel at just talking about that night. I wish I could just forget it and never have to think about it again—or go back in time and make sure it never happened to begin with.

“Well, hell. Isn’t this rich?”

“Mitch…”

“You’re here to ask me to lie to my brother? That doesn’t seem like a great way to start a relationship, Princess.”

“What we did should have never happened, Mitch.”

“We’ll agree to disagree on that one, sweetheart.”

“It shouldn’t. You know that. I know this will hurt you and I don’t want to do that, but you knew I was in love with your brother, Mitch.” His face tightens, and something flashes in his eyes, but he doesn’t say anything. “I still love him,” I confess. “I’m here to beg you not to tell him. Telling him we’ve slept together would only hurt him and I don’t think either one of us want that. Besides, what we had is over. It began and ended that night.”

“Yeah,” he says, sounding resigned. He stands up and I have to force myself not to back away. There’s something about Mitch that is uncontrollable. I’ve never seen it, but I sense it from him and if I’m going to be honest, it frightens me. I stand still as he closes the distance between us. His hand comes up to brush against the side of my face. His touch is so tender that I’m embarrassed for being worried about him. His eyes look stormy, though, and I know I’ve hurt him, and I hate that.

“I know not many accuse me of being a good guy, Callie,” he says, staring at me, his thumb brushing against my cheek.

“Mitch,” I breathe, unsure of what to say. There’s a connection between us. It’s not emotional, but we’ve slept together. He’s touched me in ways no one else ever has and he made me feel beautiful that night, even in my misery.

“I could have been a good guy for you, Callie. I really believe I could have been good for you.”

I drop my gaze down because I honestly don’t know what to say. Mitch’s finger comes under my chin, and he looks at me. For a second my heart goes crazy in my chest and I’m afraid he’s going to kiss me. Instead, he kisses my forehead and I close my eyes.

“You have my word, Callie. I won’t breathe a word to Reed,” he says, dropping his lips down close to my ear and whispering the words.

“Thank you,” I respond, stepping away from him. He nods. I turn to leave. I have the door open, but I stop moving when he speaks again.

“But, sweetheart, secrets always find a way of coming out. If Reed can’t accept who you were before you got together, maybe he’s not the man for you. I know I’d accept you any way I can get you. I have before and I would again.”

My stomach lurches. I don’t turn around or even respond. I walk out the door and close it, praying Mitch is wrong and Reed never finds out.

Ever.