Mistakes I’ve Made by Jordan Marie

34Callie

“My poor baby,” Reed murmurs, kissing my cast gently, before placing it carefully back on the console between our seats. He had something he wanted to show me today, so we’re riding in Mildred because it’s raining outside.

“Stop, Reed, I’m okay, I promise,” I tell him and for the most part I’m telling the truth. At least physically.

It’s only been four days since my world was rocked on its axis. I’ve avoided my parents as much as possible. I help Mom and do what I can there, but I don’t tell her what I know—or how bad it’s bothering me. The guilt in her eyes when she sees my wrist is nearly enough to bring me to my knees—or make me scream at her.

Reed is actually the only thing in my life that keeps me going. He’s been amazing to me. Yet, I feel guilty because I lied to him. He thinks I fell down the stairs at home. I avoided him for the first couple of days, so he didn’t see me until I was able to come up with a reason and I was emotionally ready to see anyone—including him. Maybe I should have told him the truth about everything, but he went so ballistic last time, I was afraid of what he would do. That’s only a part of it, however.

I feel guilty.

It’s not logical, but I think somehow this is all my fault. Like I’m to blame for my father—Niles’s—anger. There’s embarrassment involved to. I don’t want anyone to know that I let someone hit me, why he hit me, or how it was my fault. Maybe if I had been a better daughter, tried harder, he could have at least liked me. Maybe the reason he dislikes me has more to do with the person I am.

I mean, I pushed Reed away and I love him. All the mess with Chasity came about because of me to begin with. That’s a hard truth to face, but that’s what has been running through my head over and over.

“If that’s true, why do you seem so sad, Bluebird?”

“I’m not sad, just clumsy,” I joke.

Reed’s mouth tightens. He gives me a look that tells me he doesn’t appreciate my humor and I sigh. I need to get out of my head. I should be happy. Things with Reed are good, feel lighter now that he’s got a clean bill of health from the clinic. He seems different with that weight lifted off his shoulders. He and Mitch have even been getting along. That made me nervous, but Mitch hasn’t breathed a word about prom night. In fact, Mitch and Reed seem to be getting closer. He even told Mitch about us going to the clinic to get a clean bill of health before we moved in together.

Moved in together.

That thought still makes me nervous, but I want it just the same. I want to live with Reed. I want to get away from my parents, too. Moving in with Reed seems like the perfect answer. I know that sounds horrible. It makes me feel icky to think of starting my life with Reed out with that being the major decision to move in together. I mean, I love him, but I don’t think I’d contemplate moving in with him this soon if it wasn’t for the fact that I just want space away from my parents—well, my mother and Niles. I really need to get used to not thinking of him as my father anymore. One day, I’ll get up the nerve to ask my mom who my real father is. I’m not sure it matters since he obviously didn’t care enough about me to want to stay around.

Is that like a running theme with me? Maybe that’s not a fair question, but maybe Reed let me push him away because I wasn’t enough to fight for? Maybe it was just easier for him to turn to Chasity than to fight for me?

“You’re being awful quiet, Bluebird. What are you thinking about in that pretty little head of yours?” Reed asks.

“Silly stuff,” I answer vaguely. “What is it you want to show me?” I ask again for like the tenth time.

“It’s a surprise,” he responds with a goofy grin.

I roll my eyes, making him laugh. He’s got a good laugh. It feels like it is full of joy and it’s something that he’s just started doing freely since the clinic called. When he got his results back, he said the past was behind us and we’re only looking forward from here on out. I agreed, which means I need to stop my brain from thinking beyond the here and now. Reed loves me. I love him. We aren’t defined by anything other than that.

I’m quiet as we drive through downtown Macon. Macon is a hole in the wall. Before moving here, I’d visited Macon, Georgia and it’s bigger than Texas’s version. Most people that live here say if you blink you would miss it. I don’t necessarily disagree with them, but after living in New Hampshire, I’ve found I prefer it.

I hear Mildred’s signal light turn on and look over at Reed who is still smiling. I move my gaze toward to the windshield and frown as we pull into Johnson’s garage where Reed works.

“Your surprise is taking me to your job?” I laugh. “Cheap date, Reed Lane.”

“Cut me some slack, Bluebird. You’ll be eating your words soon.”

I give him a smirk, raising my eyebrow in silent challenge and he laughs again. I decide right then and there that he has the most beautiful laugh I’ve heard in my life.

Once we park, we get out and Reed takes my good hand and leads me around the garage to the side entrance. We pass it, however.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Have you always been this impatient, Callie, and I just now noticed?”

“Reed,” I whine, making him laugh.

I’ve never been to the back of the building before and there’s a set of steps that remind me of a fire escape that’s made of old, rusted metal. We climb them and despite how they look, they’re surprisingly sturdy. There’s a small landing at the top. Reed unlocks a beaten-up, brown door that has a regular lock and a deadbolt. He opens it and grins at me.

“What is this place?” I ask.

He picks me up, mindful of my wrist and cradles me against his body. His hold on me seems to heat my whole body, making butterflies take flight inside my stomach. His dark eyes stare down at me, and they shine. His smile deepens, making these dimples that make me want to kiss them and run my tongue through the small indentions.

“This place is our new home, Bluebird,” he announces, before walking inside.

“Our new home?” I ask, my heart feeling as if it’s flip-flopping mid beat.

“Yep!” he says. “I paid the deposit and the first two months of rent down today.”

“You… I…We….”

“That’s the general idea,” he jokes, but I just shake my head.

“You rented an apartment for us without talking to me about it?” I ask, not quite understanding.

“I had to move fast, Callie. Rentals that aren’t total shit are hard to find. This place is good. It’s quiet on this street for the most part. It’s only one bedroom but look at this main room! There’s so much room and it comes fully furnished.”

“Maybe you should put me down for a minute,” I finally say, not sure how I feel about any of this.

“You’re not happy,” he says, sounding so disappointed that I immediately begin feeling guilty.

He holds me until I’m standing solidly on my feet. I look around the apartment. It’s nothing extra, but it is kind of nice. The walls are all dark paneling, so that’s kind of depressing, but it’s clean and the wood floors are great. We’re standing in the large room which has a sitting room with a couch and two chairs. There’s a television console, but no television. It’s positioned in front of the lone window in the room, which isn’t my favorite, but there’s no law that says you can’t rearrange furniture. A bar that is in the middle of the large room separates the kitchen area from the rest of the room. It’s huge, running almost six feet in length. There are three bar stools in the front of it and my guess is that this is the table. The counter is an ugly green that’s kind of jarring to the eyes but is in decent shape. The kitchen has an apartment sized stove, a fridge, and a double bowl sink. There’s no dishwasher, although I guess that’s okay. The appliances are white, which is good. Somehow, I think if they were a sunny yellow, the puke-green counters would look worse.

I moisten my lips and look at him.

“Can I see the rest of it?”

Reed must take that to understand I’m not telling him no, because he bends down and kisses me quickly on the lips. Then, he eagerly takes me and shows me the bedroom. It’s a normal bedroom I suppose. There’s an oak bed with a mattress and box springs. I guess it’s up to us to supply the covering. The walls in here, at least, are painted gray—even if the paint is over the same dark wallpaper. It gives me the idea to see if I can paint the rest of the apartment. I make a note to ask Mr. Johnson. There’s a dresser in the room also, but that’s it. I step back outside into the living area, and I frown.

“What do you think?” Reed asks.

“Isn’t there a bathroom?” I finally ask, afraid his answer is going to be no, and tell me we’re expected to run downstairs to the outside bathroom the garage has.

“Oh! Hah, yeah there’s a bathroom.”

There’s a door in the kitchen, that’s like half the size of a normal door. I just assumed it was a pantry—it’s not. It’s a tiny bathroom. There’s a sink, a toilet, and a shower. I mean, it’s okay. I can turn around in it… mostly.

“It’s kind of small,” he says and now I’m feeling really guilty.

Reed wants to live with me. He found this place for me. He took money he’d been saving up and put down on it—for me. Yeah, sure, I wish he had asked me before just going ahead and renting a place. Still, I’m being super critical because I’m nervous about moving in with him. I force myself to relax.

“I really like it, Reed.”

“You’re sure?” he asks, and I nod my head.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“There’s no laundry,” he says regretfully. “Still, we can use the laundromat out by the diner. I’m sure that Mr. Johnson would let me put a small apartment size one in here if I hired someone to—”

I cover his lips with my fingers.

“It’s fine the way it is. There’s just the two of us, Reed. It’s not like there can be that many clothes to wash.”

“Yeah,” he murmurs against my fingers, his warm breath teasing my skin. “I love you, Callie.”

“I love you, too.”

I take a deep breath and I let go of my doubts. This is going to be okay. As long as I have Reed, everything is going to be okay. It will fall into place.

“So, we’re doing this?” he asks.

I nod. “We’re so doing this,” I respond, letting myself relax and smile.

“We’re doing this!” he yells, making my mouth open in surprise, before I laugh outright. Reed picks me up, his arms going behind me to hold onto my ass. I wrap my legs around him and my good arm, holding the one with my cast out in an awkward position to keep from accidentally hurting him or me.

“My woman is going to move in with me,” he says, looking into my eyes, not ashamed to show me how much that means to him.

“My man rented us an apartment so we could be together,” I counter.

“I’m never going to let you go, Callie,” he vows, and I let the words fill up the tiny cracks and doubts that have been forming the last week.

“That’s good because remember your promise, Reed Lane.”

“What promise, Bluebird?” he asks, backing me up against the wall, his head dropping down, while his liquid chocolate eyes stare hungrily at my lips.

“You and me, Reed. Forever and ever.”

He does smile then, but it blurs because his face gets even closer.

“Forever and ever,” he says so quietly that I strain to hear. Then, his tongue slides inside my mouth, seeking mine.

This kiss is different from any other we’ve shared… and I lose myself in it.