Mistakes I’ve Made by Jordan Marie
36Reed
Our room is dark. There’s no sound in the apartment except the ticking of the clock, that’s somewhere in the main room, and mine and Callie’s breathing. It’s been like this for hours, but since the confrontation with her father, I figure that’s what Callie needs.
I had no idea what Callie has been forced to deal with. I wish she had told me. I don’t know that I could have helped, but maybe I would have moved faster to get her out of that mess.
Now, I’m just lying beside her. Callie wearing one of my t-shirts and me in a pair of gray sweats. My shirt has ridden up to her thigh and I let my fingertips slide against her soft skin there, contemplating everything I learned today.
The man that Callie always thought was her father, isn’t, and tonight, when he began screaming at Callie, I lost it. Callie had to get between the two of us, while she told him that she knew the truth.
When she announced she knew, it was like the man became a completely different person. There was no mask of trying to be a human being there was only just this look of hate, and it was all directed at Callie, who was shaking with tears in her eyes and a sadness that emanated from her. I wanted to beat the shit out of him, but I didn’t. I knew that would upset Callie’s mother and make Callie’s misery worse. Instead, I picked up the boxes I had put down when this began. Then, I took my girl out of that mess. I wish she didn’t have to go back at all, but I know she will. I’m at least going to go with her for the first few times, to make sure that dickhead is at work and doesn’t get around her.
“How long have you known?” I ask her finally. I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing, but I think, maybe if she talks about it, she can at least vent the emotions she’s feeling.
“Since the day he broke my wrist,” she says and God, I so want to beat the fuck out of him. I still might, but Callie doesn’t need my anger right now. She needs my comfort. I knew that her old man broke her wrist. That came out during the argument and is why I put down her boxes and went after him to begin with. It’s also why Callie got between us and asked me to back off.
“You should have let me hit him, Bluebird, at least once,” I mutter, drawing invisible stars on Callie’s thigh.
“It wouldn’t have mattered, Reed. I don’t matter to him. He’s been the only man I’ve ever known as my father. For eighteen years I’ve been in his life, and all he has for me is hate. He put up with me because I came with my mother, and he felt… trapped with a kid that wasn’t his.”
“That’s on him, Bluebird and that’s bullshit.”
“Not really. I wasn’t his daughter. Not many men want to deal with someone else’s kid Reed.”
“You’ve loved him your whole life. You might not have been his blood, but you’ve been good to him, you’ve cared about him, and you have helped him your whole life. He wants to hold onto the past and his anger, he has that right, but don’t let him off by saying he has a reason to treat you like he’s doing. He doesn’t deserve that. A decent human being doesn’t take his anger and resentment out on someone that had nothing to do with it—someone who was hurt by those same lies.”
“I guess.”
“Is this why you made me give you that promise, Callie? Are you truly afraid I’m going to change my mind here and regret living with you? Regret being with you?”
“You’re a good guy, Reed. The best, really. If you ever start regretting the two of us living together or being in a relationship, you’d stay. You’d do it because you felt obligated. I’ve already seen what happens when I’m nothing but an obligation to a man. I don’t want those same feelings to fester inside of you. I don’t think I could handle it happening again—especially from you.”
“I’d tell you that you never have to worry about that when it comes to me, but I have a feeling you wouldn’t believe me, Callie Street.”
Callie closes her eyes and I see tears gathered in the corner, creating a sad display that looks totally wrong on her beautiful face. I need to get her out of her head. She’s grieving the man she thought was her father. She needs something else to think about—or better yet something that will make it so she’s beyond thinking anything at all.
“Maybe,” she allows.
With that in mind, I let my hand drift down her leg and back up to her thigh. I lean my upper body over her, kissing those tears on her face, tasting their saltiness, letting Callie’s sadness mark me in ways that even I don’t truly understand.
“Callie, I will never regret loving you.”
“Reed—”
“I get why you are worried, and I can’t even be upset. I’ve let you down.”
She instantly shakes her head no, her dark blue eyes opening and their beautiful color almost glowing. God, I don’t think I will ever get used to the way she steals my breath.
“You haven’t,” she argues, but I’m not sure she believes it and if does, she’d be wrong.
“I should have fought harder to get into that heart of yours. I shouldn’t have accepted being in the outer circle of your life, Callie. I knew we were meant for more. I should have fought for you.”
“I pushed you away. I put the distance between us, Reed. I couldn’t even tell you why I did it now, but I need you to know that I regret it. I regretted it almost from day one, but you became my best friend, and I was scared of messing that up. I seem to have a knack for making a mess of things.”
“We’re in our own place. You’re lying in our bed wearing nothing but your panties and my shirt, Bluebird. I get to kiss you and touch you. I don’t see a mess here between us at all. I see heaven.”
“We haven’t even made love, Reed.”
“You’re not ready. You’ve told me that and I’m okay with it,” I tell her. I don’t add that my head is still a little messed up about Chasity and what happened. I don’t know how I turned into a man I can’t recognize overnight, but I do know that I’m feeling more and more like my old self, and I’ll eventually come out of the darkness I was in. I could confess all of that to Callie, but I don’t. I don’t want this to be about me and my past. I meant what I said to Callie. We only think about our future from here on out. Besides, I want tonight to be about her.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” she mumbles. “It’s not like I’m a virgin. It’s just… “
“Just what, Callie?” I ask, letting my gaze move over her.
“I just want it to be about us when we make love, Reed. I want to give myself to you because you’re the man I love and not because…”
“Because?” I nudge.
“Because I’m hurting over a man I thought was my father, or even because I’m scared this all might disappear. That sounds lame, doesn’t it?”
“It doesn’t. But you know, just because we aren’t ready to go all the way, it doesn’t mean I can’t make you feel good.”
“Reed?”
“I don’t want you to worry about anything, Callie. I don’t want you to think about anything other than pleasure,” I utter as I position myself on my knees between her long legs.
“What are you doing?” she gasps, and it makes me smile, because we both know what I’m doing.
I grab her upper thighs, pulling her body down closer to mine while simultaneously draping her legs over my thighs. I flatten my hands out over her skin, heating running between us and touching spots that not so long ago I thought would never be warm again. My gaze captures hers. I don’t look away, even as my fingers skim along the inside of her thighs. Callie’s breathing picks up, her chest rising and falling at a faster pace. Through it all our gazes are locked. Her teeth bite down into her lower lip, and she hisses audibly as I let the pads of my fingers brush against the wet material of her panties. I can smell the scent of her desire on the air, feel the wetness that’s already pooling against the thin lace material that shields her from me.
“I’m going to make you feel good, baby,” I promise her.
“Oh God,” she moans, as two of my fingers slide between her thigh and the elastic of her panties.
I pull them down, first one leg and then the other. Through it all I’m careful not to move my eyes from her beautiful face. Her color has deepened almost to a red glow, whether from desire, embarrassment, or a mixture of the two—I don’t know. I just know it’s beautiful. She helps me by moving her body with the faintest of direction and kicking them off when she’s finally free.
I want her completely naked, but I don’t insist on it—at least not yet. I meant what I told her. I’m not leaving her. What she and I have is forever. I’m going to go slow with Callie and prove that. We’ve had the world stacked up against us and now that it’s finally working out, I’m not going to rush it or her.
I slide backwards, my gaze still on hers, until I look at her sweet pussy. I push my shirt she’s wearing up, not wanting it to block my view. She shaves herself here, and the lips of her pussy are swollen and coated in her desire. God, I’ve never seen anything more beautiful. Our gazes meet again, right before I flatten my tongue and slide it against her lips, gathering her sweet cream and sucking it down my throat, taking that sticky-sweet part of her inside of me and making her a part of me.
“God, you taste so good,” I groan, humming against her pussy. A fresh wave of her cream paints my lips and I drink it down. I use my fingers to pull her lips apart, exposing her pussy to me. I dart my tongue along the inside of her lips, not allowing myself to dive in fully, driving us both insane.
“Reed,” she gasps, as I dance just the tip of my tongue against the throbbing nub of her clit.
I feel her good hand move into my hair, her fingers tightening in my hair, as her hips rock against me, silently begging for more.
“Tell me you love me, Callie,” I demand, teasing her clit, as my fingers skirt around her entrance.
“I love you, Reed. I’ve always loved you,” she moans, her body trembling. She tightens her body like a bowstring, preparing for more.
I groan with her words, needing them more than I could ever explain to her. It’s as if once she’s given them, they can’t be taken back. I press my fingers inside of her. Instantly her body clings to me, trying to hold me inside of her. I turn them inside of her. She’s so wet and tight and she’s squeezing the fuck out of my two fingers.
It’s heaven.
I suck on her clit, drinking all her honey. She tastes better than anything that has ever passed my lips. Callie is where I belong. I was made to love her. I eat at her pussy while my fingers move in and out of her, fucking her, making her mine in ways my body will later. She’s rocking in perfect rhythm to the melody I’m creating between us. She’s perfection and she’s mine.
“Come for me, Bluebird,” I groan against her pussy, as she grinds against me.
“It’s too much,” she gasps her body twisting and turning. She tries to pull away as the pleasure intensifies. I grab her hips, allowing her no room to escape—leaving her helpless to do nothing but take the pleasure I give her.
“It’s everything, Callie,” I growl against her clit. I flatten my tongue out and lick her before moving my mouth to the inside of her thigh and biting there, marking her body while my fingers are buried deep inside of her, stretching and fucking her. Callie cries out, her head moving back and forth. I feel her falling apart right then. Her body flooding with her come and I bury my face between her legs intent on tasting every last drop.
“Reed!” she cries as she orgasms, and I continue fucking her with my fingers and my face. “Reed, I love you!” she practically yells, and I promise myself that no matter what happens, I will never give up on Callie. I’ll prove to her that real men don’t give up when the woman is worth it—and God she is worth it.
She’s worth everything.