Mistakes I’ve Made by Jordan Marie

8Callie

Two Months Later

“What do you think?”Reed asks after pulling me from the table where I was eating lunch with Katie. The cement tables and benches aren’t extra comfortable, but I do like the fresh air. Since fall has hit full force, it’s even tolerable. The scorching heat from summer is slowly fading. In the little over two months since I’ve been here in Texas, I’ve slowly begun to like it. A big part of that has been Reed, who has become my best friend. If I were honest, Katie and Reed are my only real friends, but they’re all I need. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to Reed. I am—probably even more than I was when I first met him. He’s been true to his word, though. He’s not once pushed me for more. Sometimes, I wish he would. His brother hasn’t really flirted anymore either, so I feel like an idiot for telling Reed we should only be friends. Now, I’m kind of trapped. If I tell him I’d like to see what it would be like to kiss him—which I would—I’ve trapped myself. He’s my best friend. If we start a relationship, I’m going to ruin that. I don’t want to lose Reed’s friendship. It’s too important. I couldn’t imagine not having him to lean on—or not having him come to me with his problems. We understand one another. Probably because we both face a lot of the same issues. My father might not be a drunk, but he has the mean part down. He hasn’t tried to hit me with his fists, but you can wound people in other ways. I also figure if my mother wasn’t around, he wouldn’t hesitate to do worse than he has. I haven’t told Reed that. I think it would probably make him go ballistic. He hasn’t made any moves on me since that night. I know he values our friendship. It makes him very protective of me.

I pull myself from my thoughts and look at the beat-up, old, copper-colored Ford truck he bought a couple of weeks ago. He’s been so proud of it. He bought it with the money he’s been saving up. Old man Johnson, who owns the local garage, sold it to him for five hundred dollars. It was worth much more, but he said if Reed would work in the garage on the weekends for cash it would be doing him a favor. He needed the help but couldn’t afford to hire a full-time employee and pay all the taxes and stuff the government demanded. I secretly think Mr. Johnson just really likes Reed and is trying to help him. I wouldn’t say that to Reed, but I’m sure he probably knows.

I stare blankly at the truck while Reed looks at me expectantly. Then, all at once, it hits me. “Oh my God! You got your license!”

“I did! And thanks to Mr. Johnson, I had enough to get the truck insured and on the road.”

I don’t think, I’m too excited for Reed because I know how much he has wanted this. I jump into his arms, laughing. He latches on to me, stumbling back slightly with my weight. My heart stutters in my chest, confirming that I have indeed developed a crush on Reed, but I tamp it down.

“I’m so happy for you, Reed,” I murmur, hugging him tight and drinking in the scent of his skin. It’s a mixture of the aftershave he uses and just the musky, masculine scent that is him.

He sits me down. Something shifts in his eyes that makes me feel kind of funny inside, but I chalk it up to my own confused brain.

“Thanks, Bluebird. You want to go out with me tonight? Kind of christen Lula Belle.”

“Lula Belle?”

“Seemed like as good a name for her as any,” he says with a shrug.

“That’s a horrible name. She’s a classic. A girl like this deserves a good name,” I tell him, slapping a rusty fender. Both of our gazes drop down to the ground as a big clump of what I hope is mud falls on the asphalt paved parking lot. I look over at Reed, slightly giggling.

“You’re crazy. I mean Lula Belle isn’t a stellar name like Mildred—”

“Well, few names are as catchy as Mildred, really. She’s special.”

He rolls his eyes. “Whatever makes you feel better, Callie,” he laughs. “So, what would you suggest I name it?”

“Hmm…” I hum, contemplating the many names running through my mind. “What about Jenny?” I ask.

“Jenny?” he asks, and I don’t have to look to know he’s scrunching up his face—like he always does when he doesn’t like something. I can hear it in his voice, and it makes me smile. “What’s wrong, Reed? Is Jenny not a manly enough name for you?”

“My truck doesn’t look like a Jenny. Did I ever tell you about my first crush?”

“Nope,” I respond, leaning on the side of his truck and studying his face.

“Jenny Meister. She had blue eyes like you, although not as pretty,” he begins, and I can feel my face heat. I really need to get my confusing feelings for Reed under control. He hasn’t once tried to make a move on me since we agreed to be friends. Doing anything to jeopardize our relationship now would be foolish. We’re friends and I need to remember that. I need his friendship and I need him in my life.

“I don’t recognize the name,” I respond.

“Yeah, she went to Flintwood when we left middle school,” he continues, mentioning the private academy the rich kids in Macon attend. “Anyway, I had a killer crush on her in the second grade. I mean it was really serious. I even let her have my pudding at lunch.”

“Ooooh. That really is serious,” I giggle.

“You know it. She had me wrapped around her finger, the minute she let me touch those two sweet—”

“Reed!” I gasp.

“Her pigtails,” he laughs, having totally suckered me in.

“So, what ended this red-hot love affair?” I’m barely managing to stop myself from laughing out loud.

“I broke my arm,” he says with a careless shrug.

“I don’t follow,” I respond, feeling my brow crinkle, partly from confusion and partly because the sun decided to peek out from the clouds. I put my hand above my eyes, to shield them from the light so I can still see Reed clearly.

“I couldn’t carry her books for her to class anymore. I was replaced by Jake Ryan.”

“Your best friend, Jake?” I ask, shocked.

“That very one.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound like something a friend should do,” I mutter.

Reed smirks. “You forget, this was the second grade. We weren’t friends then.”

“When did you become friends?”

“After Jenny broke Jake’s heart and dumped him for Lucas Blaylock.”

“Oh my,” I giggle. “Reed, I hate to tell you this, but Jenny sounds like a ho.”

“Now you see why I don’t want to name my truck Jenny,” he agrees with a wink.

“Definitely, although if you look her up, she might let you ride her as much as you’ll ride in your truck.”

He stares at me, stunned for a minute, before throwing his head back in laughter. “I can’t believe you said that, Callie Street.”

“I’m just being honest. You’re kind of a hot guy, Reed Lane. Any girl would love to have you on her arm.”

“Anyone but you, right?” he says, and I can see a flicker of regret on his face almost instantly.

My heart somersaults in my chest and this feeling that’s almost like panic hits me. Should I confess that I’ve been having thoughts that maybe the two of us should try dating? If I don’t tell him now, will I ever get the chance to do it again? Will letting him know that ruin our friendship?

“Reed, I was wanting to talk,” I begin, feeling my heart go crazy. My palms are instantly sweaty, but before I can tell him anything, he interrupts me.

“I know, Bluebird. You only want my friendship. I get it,” he says and my heart squeezes painfully mid-beat. He leans over and kisses my forehead. I close my eyes, biting down on my lip. Just as I get ready to interrupt him, he says something that stops me. “It’s probably for the best anyway.”

“It is?” I ask, clearing my throat to try and swallow down the emotion welling inside of me.

“Yeah, you’re special to me, Callie. I don’t think I could handle it if you weren’t in my life.”

“I feel the same,” I admit. “And trying to date could mess all that up,” I add, the words feeling as if they’re sticking in my throat, making me force them.

“Maybe, maybe not,” he says. “But it doesn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t?”

“Nope, you wanted to be friends and we are. You’re the best part of my day, Callie Street.”

His words make it hard to breathe. I have to tell him… I have to.

“You’re mine, too, Reed. Maybe we should try and—”

“Damn man! You got it on the road,” Jake yells, drowning me out.

“Sure as hell did. What do you think?” Reed asks, turning away from me to talk to his buddy. I watch them, wanting to scream at Jake to leave.

“It’s sweet! Hey! There’s a rodeo this weekend in Corpus Christi. I’m thinking of joining the amateur trials. You want to give me a ride? We can scope the place out beforehand and maybe meet up with a couple of buckle bunnies.”

“I better get back, Reed. I have to meet with the guidance counselor about my SAT’s,” I tell him, my stomach souring at the thought of Reed out picking up girls with his buddies. I guess I never thought about it because Reed and I spend most Saturdays together.

“Oh, hey, Callie. I didn’t see you there,” Jake says, looking highly uncomfortable. Probably because he knows I talk to Katie. She and Jake broke up last week, and Katie has been grieving. Apparently, the same can’t be said for Jake.

“Hey, Jake,” I murmur. “Talk to you later, Reed.”

“What were you saying before doofus interrupted us, Callie?” Reed asks and I shake my head negatively before I even start to answer.

“It wasn’t important,” I tell him, avoiding his eyes. It’s not really a lie. Nothing has changed. We’re friends and Reed is okay with that. I mean, it’s exactly what I asked for.

I was a stupid fool.