The Masks We Wear by Lee Jacquot
THIRTY FIVE
She’s a fucking virgin?
I literally turn off my brain, refusing to let my thoughts run away and take me out of this moment. Instead, I lean against her, propping myself on my elbows. “Are you sure?”
She grunts, her face tensing as if she’s the most annoyed person in the world. But then she narrows her eyes, and I know if looks could kill, I’d be a fucking goner. “If you don’t put it back in, I will.”
And she means it. She bucks her hips, and my head slips inside, the slickness of her cunt letting it glide right in.
“Okay, but slow.”
She grits her teeth but nods, nonetheless.
I push back in, and much to my agony, slow, reveling at the way her tight channel squeezes around me, pulling me in further. She’s nothing but wet, coiled muscles, and her moans into my biceps are almost my fucking undoing. I want to ask her if it hurts, but she answers the unasked question, jerking her hips back and meeting my next thrust.
Fuck. She feels so fucking good.
She buries her teeth into my arm, reaching to pull me closer. “More.”
I want to take it slow, cherish her for giving me something so fucking important, but she backs away again and shoves herself up, taking my dick all the way to the hilt.
Fuuuuuuckkk.
Gripping her ass, I sit, letting her legs wrap around me like a vice, and drag out to the head. I lean forward and push back in. She throws her hands above her head, stifling a scream. Working up a rhythm, I lose myself and whatever control I had, moving in tune with each moan spilling from her lips.
My eyes flash to the window where the rain and lightning still attack the earth, drowning every other sound in its winds. I reach up, hooking a finger under her chin and tilting it so she can look at me. Her chest is flushed, pebbled nipples peek from behind a lacy bra, and rain droplets shimmer on her skin as she rocks her hips. Everything about her is breathtaking.
“You’re so fucking beautiful. Don’t hold back. I want to hear you.”
Her eyes widen, and she nods. I reach up, tearing the fabric of her bra down, and find the pert little nipple with my tongue. Biting softly, I coax a whimper from her before rolling it around until it’s unbearably hard. My other hand works its way down, finding her sensitive clit waiting. Rubbing in small circles, I start slow but accelerate as her moans get louder, hungrier.
“Come for me, Lily.”
Lily’s legs tighten around my waist, and her muscles tense, her impending climax consuming her. Her pussy flutters before her body finally seizes beneath me, her orgasm ripping through her body. She screams her release into the next strike of lightning and roll of thunder at the moment I can’t fight anymore. My balls tense up, a surge exploding through my body as I come. Colors of black, blues, silvers, and white crash behind my eyelids and I have to find her lips with mine to ground me. To bring me back down to Earth.
When our breaths finally sync, the high rolling through our bodies coming to a close, we slump into each other. Exhaustion takes over, and for the first time, in five years, she sleeps in my arms while the world rages on outside, and I know what I’ve known all along.
I’m in love with Lily Conley.
MONDAY USED to be just a typical day. Not one I hated and not one I was excited about. But today, knowing I’ll see Lily, puts an extra pep in my step when I pull up to the school.
Yesterday, she spent time with the woman I found out to be her aunt at the police station and later with her family therapist’s emergency meeting. Both pieces of information I acquired over text. Though what actually went down on Saturday is still a mystery, Lily has all the time in the world to tell me.
Something I’ve learned about people, especially those who shoulder a significant burden, is that words are easier to write, or in this case, text, rather than talk about face to face. It’s difficult when the strong have to be vulnerable, and however she wants to tell me these things, I appreciate it. She’s given me so much already…
My mind drifts to Saturday night, when the world was crashing both outside and inside the treehouse. The place we spent years laughing, crying, playing, loving. Seemed kind of poetic in a way it all came back to there.
“Hey you.” Her voice cuts straight to my core.
I spin around, grinning like a dummy from ear to ear, but it soon evaporates. We haven’t talked about how things are going to be. We made out in front of some kids from AP science, but I hadn’t put much thought into how her group of people will react.
Lily’s lips are on mine before I have a chance to finish my thoughts, that now, don’t even fucking matter. My hands wrap around her waist, lifting her and spinning in a full three-sixty before placing her back on the ground.
She giggles into my mouth, kissing me once, twice before backing away.
Her face, as beautiful as ever, glows today. Her rose lips stretching into an endearing smile, lighting up her aura from a thousand miles away. She’s wearing my windbreaker from the other night over a cropped white tee and painted on black jeans.
But it’s not the mouthwatering outfit, flowy hair, or lack of contacts that puts my heart in my throat. Nope. It’s the necklace.
It’s not hidden today, dangling for her neck like she couldn’t be prouder to wear it.
I thread my hand through hers, and she leans against my shoulder as we walk, or maybe float is a better word, toward the entrance.
As soon as we pass the school threshold, I feel it. Every single person within our vicinity is staring at us. Some are stifling laughter, others are whispering comments I can’t quite make out, but the air is thick and putrid, reeking of something I can’t place.
My back tenses, unsure if it’s me, or if she feels it too. But when I look down, her eyes are already on mine, a confused look pinching together her delicate features.
Amora and Remy surprise us, appearing out of fucking thin air.
Remy is worried, her big hazels darting back and forth between Lily and me as if she’s on the verge of tears but also waiting for some big thing to happen. She rocks on her heels, her chest heaving.
Amora, on the other hand, is fucking pissed. Her nose flaring, eyes bulging, and teeth bared. She doesn’t even look at me and instead holds out a balled-up piece of paper for Lily to take.
When I look at Remy, I notice she, too, has a wad of flyers in her clutches.
Lily releases my hand and grabs the flyer, unraveling it as I take one from Remy.
The world stops. Completely and utterly. All sound ceases to exist, while all colors fade to a gray scale.
Holy. Shit.
It’s a picture of Lily, her senior year from fall, I’m guessing. She’s all bright white teeth and perfect hair. Her eyes twinkle somehow, even beneath the contacts. There’s a thick layer of makeup covering her naturally beautiful face. The true mask to the Queen of Emerald Falls.
But next to that is a mug shot. Fresh off the fucking press of Lily’s mom from Saturday. It’s not hard to see the resemblance as they share the same heart-shaped face, small nose, and slightly pointed ears. But if you didn’t know they were related, the big, bold black caption underneath does it for you.
Lily Conley, the PEASANT of Emerald Falls
The same words I told her when we were in the pink room. Lily doesn’t miss a beat. Whatever was there just moments ago crumbles into dust, replaced by the girl in the picture. Her lips flip up in a snare as she hones in on me with a sharp red stiletto. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Don’t.” I know where this is going, what she’s fucking thinking, and there is no way in hell I’m going to let her spiral. Let her think I would do this.
Reaching out for her, she recoils immediately as if I’m trying to burn her. I ignore the intense pang in my heart and step forward.
She steps back, one hand raised. “So this is it, huh? Your big revenge for everything I’ve done.” Her laugh is bitter, echoing through the now silent hall as spectators crowd around us. “Get close to me, fuck me, then humiliate me?”
“Please. You know I wouldn’t do this.” I try for her again, just barely grazing her elbow before she rips it away. She has to be able to hear the truth in my voice, the fucking fear. It feels like I have a pile of dry sand, and I’m watching it slip through my finger, unable to catch the tiny grains.
I can’t lose you. I just fucking got you. Please.
She closes her eyes, taking a few steady breaths, her brows knitting together as if she’s trying to think of anyone else that would know about Saturday. That would know her mother works here. She’s trying to make it make sense. She doesn’t want to believe it’s me. I can see it.
“Stop it, Spence. I’m going to fall,” Liliana screeches at the top of her lungs.
She wanted to see the meteor shower, and me, thinking I’m something like Aladdin, have her follow me to the roof of the treehouse, perching on my shoulders. I can’t resist tickling her pretty pink toes dangling so close to my hands, so I run the tips of my fingers down the arch. I don’t tell her I love the way she squeezes closer to me, holding on like I’m the only thing keeping her safe. Instead, I recite the movie, twisting it to fit us now.
“Liliana, do you trust me?”
She peers down at me from a curtain of dark lashes, her chestnut eyes shimmering in the first pass of a meteor. Her smile fades, replaced by something in the deepest part of her heart. Like this is the most honest thing she’s ever said. “I’ll always trust you, Spence.”
Then, as if the sky was waiting for this moment, dozens of little stars streak across the sky, and I make a new wish on all fifty-three. After that, we made it rule number one on our contract. Always trust your best friend if they ask.
“Liliana, please. Trust me.”
Her eyelids pop open, and whatever, whoever, was there ten minutes ago is gone. She grasps the delicate necklace around her neck and wrenches it free in a powerful snap, throwing it at my feet. “It’s Lily, dog. And I never want to see you again. Stay the fuck away from me.”
She turns on her heels, Blaze appearing from fucking nowhere with an impassive look on his face as he follows behind her. My heart sinks into my gut, dissolving in the stomach acid as I watch her leave. It’s as if my feet are stuck in quicksand, and I know I’m fucked either way.
Thrash and run after her, I’ll only sink faster.
Sit and do nothing, I’ll still sink.
Without thinking, I reach out, grasping the edge of Amora’s arm. Surprisingly, she doesn’t pull away and instead regards me with sad striking blue eyes. Her mouth opens and closes twice before she grabs onto the words she’s searching for. “I don’t know you, and I have no fucking clue how I know this, but I know you’re not stupid enough to actually have done it.”
With that, she disappears behind her friends, leaving me reeling in the middle of the hall.
Hold fast, hold steady.
But even doing that won’t stop the sand from rising and swallowing me fucking whole.
