Breaking Conviction by Greer Rivers

Chapter Thirty-Three

“So glad to have you home, sweets.”

Dean’s calm smile as he shoveled another bite of steak into his mouth made Naomi want to vomit.

This is my life now. I just have to make it through. One day, one meal at a time. Maybe it’ll be better this time if I go all in.

But a small smile that felt more like a wince was all she could muster. She’d never been any good at faking. Well, scratch that. She excelled at acting the part, she just failed at being comfortable faking. It was why she’d lost so many people over the course of her relationship with Dean. It was easier to avoid people than ‘fake it ‘til she made it.’

“Mommy, me and Angus like your dress. Don’t we, Angus?” Thea nodded her teddy bear’s head before taking a bite of her macaroni and cheese. The bear had his own little seat beside her at the dining table like Wes had set up for her back at BlackStone. It would’ve been adorable if Naomi wasn’t in physical pain from the stress coursing through her.

“Mommy does look nice, doesn’t she, sweetheart?”

“Shower before dinner. I can’t stand the smell of you and I won’t have another man’s cum inside you when I’m fuckin’ you tonight.”

She resisted the shudder of revulsion and cleared her throat before answering. Dean beamed over at her, like he hadn’t physically shoved her into their shower, bruising her shoulder and knees against the tile as she ricocheted. Now that he’d figured out his leverage—letting her see Thea—the threats were already getting old and she’d only been there for less than twelve hours.

“Thank you, Thea. I wanted to make sure I looked nice for dinner.”

“Wear somethin’ good, or don’t wear anything at all. Actually, that second idea doesn’t sound half bad.”

The only act of defiance she’d allowed herself was the shoes. They were the green ones that Thea had “bought” the first time Naomi had ever met Wes. Wearing them reminded her of him. But already her time at BlackStone felt like a life she’d never lived.

It was funny how the mind played tricks like that. Like her only way to survive her new normal was to pretend the old never existed. Like her mind knew that having hope would be too much for her to bear right now.

If it was all a dream, she could listen and obey in peace, without feeling the need to put up a fight. Plus, why would she expend that energy again? She’d tried her best to leave once, but she was realizing she was stuck with this monster forever.

Believing anything different would crush her.

Doubt and optimism tried to wriggle their way to the forefront of her mind, but it was no use. She’d been depleted. Her hope was gone, despondence taking its place. All she’d do was listen and obey. Listen and obey. Listen and obey… for the next fourteen years. After that—after Thea was off and gone—hopefully somewhere as far away from Ashland County and her father’s reach as possible, Naomi would leave no matter what he did to her.

“Mommy, why are you so quiet?” Thea whispered in her patented stage whisper. “Do you miss Wes?”

Naomi’s skin went ice cold, but she did her best to keep her face neutral. Eyes the color of dead leaves bored into her, waiting for her response. She raised her head like there was nothing out of the normal for Thea. At the very least, she didn’t want the poor girl to feel embarrassed or feel bad if Dean acted out.

“I’m just feelin’ a little quiet tonight, honey. There’s nothin’ to worry about. Wes was just Mommy’s work friend at Sasha Saves.”

A slight scowl of confusion marred Thea’s face before she nodded. Naomi hated that look. Hated even more that she’d caused that look. Gaslighting her four-year-old felt wrong to her core, but at the same time, the alternative was Dean blowing up. The stark reality that Naomi was having to choose between traumas for her daughter made her eyes burn with unshed tears.

“I want to know more about Wes, Thea. You said he was where y’all were livin’. Where was that exactly?”

Before Naomi could interfere, Thea brightened up. “Oh, it looked like a big box on the outside but was real nice on the inside. Like a castle! And Mommy made cookies and dinner and bre-fast for Phoe-nik.” She snickered before whispering, “Mommy says he has a hole in his stomach, so it’s okay that he eats so much. And I got to play with Wes and I got to watch Mary-duh and I got to dress up like her and Mommy was the queen and Wes was the king and Mommy and Wes read me bedtime stories—”

“That’s enough, Thea,” Naomi hissed, immediately feeling guilty for chastising her daughter for telling a simple story. But poor thing didn’t understand social cues or the fact that Dean’s face had reddened to the point of concern. She certainly didn’t register his hands fisted tight around his fork and knife.

“Go to your room, Thea.” Listening to Dean’s gravel voice was like walking barefoot and trying to figure out which rock would hurt and which one wouldn’t. Spoiler alert, she didn’t even want to make the trek in the first place.

“But Daddy, I ain’t done eat—”

“Go to your room!”

“Don’t talk to her that way!”

She heard the sound before she registered the sting of the slap to her face. When she opened her eyes Dean was standing up, lording over the wooden table with his chest breathing heavy.

Naomi darted her eyes toward Thea’s as the green hazel grew shiny with unshed tears.

“I-I’m sorry, Mommy—”

“No, baby, don’t worry about a thing, alright?” Naomi pasted a smile that she hoped was one of her most convincing acting displays yet. “Just go ahead and go to your room. Daddy and I have somethin’ to talk about, okay? Make sure to shut your door, though, and don’t open it for anything, no matter what you hear.”

Thea nodded slowly, her eyes bouncing between Naomi’s and Dean’s as she slid from her dining chair. She hugged her teddy bear and started walking backward to her room, as if she was afraid to take her eyes off Naomi. Unfortunately, Thea’s door was just inside the hall and only a few feet from them. All she’d have to do was crack it open to see the full show, but it was the best Naomi could think of to shield her.

Before she could even hear Thea’s door shut, Naomi’s dinner was strewn into her lap and Dean was hauling her out of her chair.

“Did you fuck him?” his growled breath tainted her sense of smell and she nearly gagged. “Did you?”

It took her a second too long to respond and he was shoving her against the wall.

Don’t fight back. Think of Thea. Just take it. It’ll be over soon.

The pain in the back of her head stunned her, and she realized he’d shoved her again, causing her head to recoil against the drywall.

“Did you, whore?” Spittle flew out of his mouth and onto her face. “Answer me!”

Should she? She hadn’t slept with Wes, yet. But admitting to what they had done would be just as bad. Hell, he was already attacking her without any proof at all.

“Fucking answer me!”

He shoved her to the ground and the force of his push made her trip and fall to the hardwood. One of her shoes fell off and he kicked it at her, causing the narrow heel to hit her hand.

Get up.

Just get up.

I need to get up.

But why? What’s the point?

Her mind was warring with itself and she was so dazed she wondered if she had a concussion.

He pulled her up by her bicep and shoved her against the sideboard table. The force of her body bending backward rocked the liquor bottles on the table so violently that they crashed on the ground. A drawer knob dug into her back and she squirmed to get out of his hold, but his other hand gripped her hip so tightly she hissed in pain.

“You think you can play me for a fool, bitch? I will end you.”

Fear sliced into her. She couldn’t go out this way, leaving Thea with this monster. And she couldn’t fight him alone.

I need help.

“Mommy?”

Thea’s sweet little angel voice entered the dining room and Naomi froze.

“Get the fuck out, Thea!” Dean screamed, sending a hot flash of anger throughout her body.

“Don’t talk to her like that!”

Naomi ripped away from his hold and in a voice as calm as she could muster, she turned to her daughter standing in the doorway.

“Thea, baby. Close your door, okay? Mommy will be there soon.” She was choking on her own spit in the back of her throat, desperate for Thea to listen to the need in her voice and hoping she wasn’t lying. “Get Mommy’s purse? Your iPad’s in there. Watch a show.”

An idea formed in her head and as much as she hated using her daughter, Naomi hoped Thea would be able to pull it off. She bent to Thea’s ear until Dean growled.

“I’m giving our daughter a kiss, is that too much to ask?”

Dean narrowed his eyes but left her alone, his fists tight by his side as his whole body vibrated with fury. She turned back to Thea and gave her a kiss on the cheek before whispering in her ear.

“Go to your room, lock the door, and don’t come out. Mommy’s phone is in my purse. Call Wes, okay? Press the green button with a phone on it, and then find the name with the man in a crown, okay?” Once she’d moved to BlackStone, she’d altered Wes’s fake name into a king emoji. It’d been her first admission of her feelings to herself and had the added pleasure of a silent fuck you to Dean, a rebellion she thanked God for at the moment. That act might save her now. “Tell him I need him. Okay?”

“That’s enough, Naomi.”

Naomi backed away, holding her daughter’s round, pale cheeks in both hands and staring into those beautiful eyes, to make sure she’d heard.

But Thea reached out her small hand. “Mommy, come wif me. Please?” She begged with her eyes and Naomi swallowed, wishing she could, but needing Thea to get the hell out of the situation more.

Before she could answer, Dean stepped in front of her and pushed Thea. He’d used his big beefy hands and shoved Thea by her small shoulders, forcing their daughter to hit the wall just like she had.

Naomi fucking snapped.