Rapture & Ruin by Julia Sykes
Chapter 19
Allie
Max hadn’t been waiting for me when I got home. I’d tried to ignore the way my chest tightened and went about my usual routine to decompress. It was too early to get ready for bed, even if it was a weeknight. I’d changed my professional attire for pajamas before cuddling up on my plush, gray velvet couch. I sank into the mountain of dusky pink pillows and snuggled under my matching blanket as I picked up my latest rom-com. When I opened the book and leafed to the page where I’d left off, the familiar scent of well-loved paper enveloped me just as warmly as my blanket.
For a while, I disconnected from all my problems and disappeared into another world, crafted of beautiful words and sparkling characters. Until Max sent me that insanely hot message, leaving me flushed and flustered in a way only he could.
A knock on my door jolted me, and I clutched the book to my chest, applying pressure to my suddenly racing heart. Gavin’s glower filled my mind, and for a second, I froze like a spooked doe.
My phone chimed, sending another little shock through my jittery system. I glanced at the screen. A text from Max: I’m outside.
My heartbeat sped up for an entirely different reason. I flung my blanket aside and set down my book on the coffee table, surging to my feet. I paused for a moment, frowning down at the little pink posies that dotted my baby blue silk pajamas.
He knocked again. No time to change. I didn’t want him to think fear had gotten the better of me. I still wanted him to come inside.
I rushed to the door, the black and white checked foyer tiles cool against my bare feet. All my senses came alive whenever Max was near, every inch of my body hyperaware of sensation. I didn’t fully understand this thrilling connection we shared, but I craved more of it.
I slid back the deadbolt and flung open the door. Max’s hulking form was illuminated from the streetlights above, the angle of the light casting shadows beneath the sharp lines of his face. The skull-like mask no longer frightened me. He’d come to see me, but some part of him still wanted to push me away.
His dark eyes glittered as they roved over my body, seeming to trail over each tiny pink flower on my pajamas as he slowly studied me. His gaze followed a lazy path back up to my face, coming to rest on my heated cheeks. The sensual lips that set mine aflame curved into a tilted smirk.
“Cute pjs.”
My face burned hotter, mortified that he’d seen me in my childish sleep clothes. I lifted my chin and willed myself to meet his teasing head-on. “You’re late. I didn’t think you were coming, so I changed into something more comfortable.”
“I didn’t think I was coming, either. But here I am.”
He didn’t step inside. He was utterly still, coiled tight with the effort of restraining himself.
My heart squeezed. He didn’t realize that I wasn’t scared anymore. I wanted to erase this lingering pain between us.
I took a breath and extended my hand, waiting for him to accept it. “I want you to come inside.”
His jaw ticked, and the shadows darkened beneath his brow and cheekbones.
I stared up at him, cool and resolute. “That scowl won’t work on me,” I informed him. “Come in.”
His entire body hardened to granite, locking him in place. “I can’t take back what I did to you,” he rasped. “I told myself I didn’t have a choice, but that was a lie. Part of me knew it too. But I took you and terrorized you anyway.”
My wrists tingled with the memory of the soft binding that’d secured me to the chair in his basement. I suppressed the urge to rub away the phantom feel of the restraints that had bound me as he’d questioned me.
“I haven’t forgotten,” I said quietly. “I won’t ever be able to forget. But I do forgive you, Max.” I reached out and wrapped my fingers around one of his clenched fists. It flexed beneath my touch, his muscles rippling as though resisting an inexorable pull. “I want you to come inside.”
Max couldn’t resist me any more than I could resist him. If this relationship were at all rational, I’d be screaming for help and locking the door as a barrier between us.
Instead, I gently tugged on his hand, urging him to step over the threshold.
Something snapped inside him, and he surged toward me. His arms wrapped around me, and he captured my shocked gasp with his lips. His strong body pressed forward, entering my personal space as though he had every right. He filled all my senses, his powerful body overwhelming me as the fiery chemistry between us ignited.
I registered the slam of my door as his booted foot kicked it closed behind him. The harsh sound jolted through my body, and I jerked in his arms.
He didn’t release me from his savage kiss. Instead, he pushed me back up against the wall, his weight pinning me in place. One of his big hands cupped my nape, his long fingers tangling in my hair and tugging my head back to deepen our kiss.
I quivered in his harsh hold, a thrill of fear dancing through my lust. This wasn’t the first time he’d pinned me against this wall and covered my mouth.
But it wasn’t his hand smothering my screams this time; his mouth consumed my small whimper, his tongue claiming me in hot, demanding strokes. The kiss was a challenge, a dare.
He craved me as fiercely as I craved him, but some part of him was still trying to push me away, to give me one last chance to escape him.
When my head was spinning and I was trembling in his harsh hold, he finally pulled away to allow me to draw in much-needed oxygen. My knees sagged at the rush, and his strong arms tightened around me, caging me even as he supported me.
“Why aren’t you afraid of me?” he growled, his eyes burning with desperate hunger.
His scar was on full display, and for a moment, his twisted snarl made me flash back to the night he’d kidnapped me. My stomach turned when we I realized he’d pinned me in the exact place where he’d drugged me.
He was still trying to scare me off. Well, I wouldn’t allow it. My body burned for him, no matter how much he tried to intimidate me.
“Because you’re not very frightening.” I tried to keep my tone flippant to avoid the deeper feelings of residual terror from overtaking my brain, but my breathy voice hitched slightly. Just because I’d decided that I wanted to be with Max didn’t mean that the instinctive part of my mind had forgotten the danger.
I breathed through the echo of fear, and a tantalizing buzz flooded my veins. Maybe my problem wasn’t that I couldn’t sense the danger Max posed. Maybe I liked the danger. I’d never felt more alive than I did when I was in his presence. It was wild and thrilling and possibly a little twisted, but I craved more.
“Allie.” Max said my name like a warning, but the savagery eased from his sharp features. He wrapped his long fingers around my shoulders, holding me with the careful but unbreakable grip that made me feel both sheltered and trapped. A shiver danced over my skin, and I swayed toward him. He frowned down at me.
“Why aren’t you afraid of me?” he asked again, more softly this time. His black eyes pinned me in place even more effectively than his strong hands on my shoulders.
He didn’t say the next part out loud, but I saw it in the taut lines of his face: You should be scared.
He didn’t bother to condescend to repeat himself. He’d said it enough times before, and I’d rebuffed him each time, demanding that he respect my autonomy. But he truly didn’t understand. I wasn’t sure if I fully understood it, either.
“I’m choosing not to be afraid,” I replied, my voice still breathless from his merciless kiss. “I know I should be, but I don’t want to be. I’m choosing to see you, Max.”
The words held so much more weight than implying that I wanted to date him. I saw him: the man beneath the monstrous mask. His pain and protective instincts called to something deep inside me that I couldn’t deny.
His mouth descended on mine, hungry for the trust I offered him. His tongue traced my lips, as though savoring the flavor of my fervent words. He kissed me like I was a miracle, his hands bracketing my face with aching gentleness as he claimed me in deep, fierce strokes.
I opened for him, offering him everything he wanted to take.
I trust you. I’m not scared. You’re not a monster.
I conveyed each promise with my own fierce kiss, sharing myself with him in a way I’d never connected with anyone else. He’d made himself vulnerable with me, and I willingly put everything on the line for him. I laid my soul bare, and he held me like I was something precious and fragile.
One strong arm wrapped around my waist, tugging me impossibly closer. His other hand left my face to rove lower, long fingers skating down the column of my neck. Just the light brush of his rough callouses on my throat drew a moan from my chest. Fireworks popped and tingled beneath his featherlight touch, my body crackling with awareness.
Suddenly, he cupped my breast, handling me with shocking confidence. I gasped into his mouth, and he hummed his approval, the sound rumbling all the way down to my core. His fingers traced the underside of my breast through my pajamas, and the silky sensation was almost unbearably decadent. My nipples pebbled to hard peaks, and they throbbed gently in time with the deeper ache between my legs.
He brushed his thumb over the tight buds, and hot lines of pleasure sizzled directly from my nipples to my core. Something inside me clenched, and I cried out against his lips.
He groaned, the sound torn between longing and pain. His other hand dipped lower behind my back, his long fingers sinking into my bottom as he clutched me close.
My body molded to his, and he growled into my mouth when my hips rubbed against his hard length.
For a moment, I stiffened. I’d never felt a man’s arousal before. It was intimidating and thrilling. A heated rush surged beneath my skin, a wave of feminine gratification.
I did this to him. I made him want.
My belly quivered, equal parts aroused and reluctant. As much as I craved Max, I didn’t think I was ready to have sex. Just kissing him like this was more than I’d ever experienced with any man.
Suddenly, his grip shifted, and my moment of uncertainty dissipated when the world tilted. One strong arm braced behind my back, and the other hooked beneath my knees. I became weightless as he lifted me up to cradle me against his hard chest.
He held me as though I weighed nothing, and his lips remained hungry and demanding on mine as he carried me to the couch, never once releasing me from his kiss.
He set me down so that I was nestled in the cushions, and he dropped to his knees before me as his hands began to explore my body once again. His mouth lowered, trailing hot kisses over my neck. His hot tongue traced the line of my throat at the same time as his fingers tightened around my nipples.
A ragged cry left my chest, and I arched into him. I wound my arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer, urging him to take more.
He touched me as though he wanted to learn every inch of me, to claim and own. He touched me as though he had every right, and I welcomed his exploration. I had no idea what my body was capable of, and he was wringing pleasure from me in ways I never could’ve imagined.
His teeth grazed the shell of my ear before he sharply nipped my lobe. The little flare of pain sent an answering pulse of need to my core, and the throbbing between my legs intensified to a deep ache.
A strange, needy sound whined from my chest, and I writhed in his hands. I didn’t know what I wanted him to do. I just needed more.
His deft fingers found the delicate buttons at the front of my pajama top, freeing each one with aching slowness. He trailed down my sternum, working his way to my belly, until his hand brushed the spot just above the waistband of my pants.
I gasped and clutched him to me, lifting my hips in silent invitation for more. My fingers tangled in his glossy black curls, and I tried to drag his mouth closer to mine.
It took no effort for him to resist my grasping hands. I felt his slightly cruel smile against my neck, a scrape of his teeth across my vulnerable artery. I whimpered and arched toward him, but he didn’t give me an inch.
“You want to come, angel?” The new endearment was hot on my skin as he pressed another gentle kiss to my throat.
One thick finger slid down the hint of exposed flesh between my silky pajama top where he’d undone the buttons without parting the material. He slowly circled my navel and teased just above the waistband of my pants.
I stilled, panting. “I don’t…” My cheeks flamed. No man had ever touched me there. My body was on fire. I wanted Max more keenly than I’d known was possible. But I was flustered and more than a little embarrassed at my inexperience.
I wasn’t sure when Max had been scarred, but his touch was masterful enough to let me know that he was familiar with a woman’s body. He knew exactly how to make me whimper and writhe.
But I didn’t know what to do for him. So far, he’d been whipping me into a frenzy, but I’d scarcely done more than welcome his onslaught and clutch him to me.
I bit my lip, and he drew back slightly, his obsidian eyes curious on my face.
“I mean, I’ve never…” I trailed off, my cheeks burning.
He blinked at me, and his brow furrowed as though he was surprised. “You’re a virgin?”
Oh, god. I wanted to sink into the cushions and hide from this mortifying conversation. I was still hot and achy. I wished I hadn’t opened my damn mouth.
His eyes roved over my features, reading every nuance of my expression. “It’s okay,” he soothed. “We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with, but I am going to make you come. I’m going to make you scream my name.” Despite his ferocious expression, he gently grasped my hand and lifted it to his chest, pressing my palm against his heart. It beat rapidly, pumping with his own desire. “I want you, Allie. However you’ll have me.”
I melted. Max didn’t care that I was a virgin. He wouldn’t use my inexperience or insecurities to mock me. He looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, his sharp features softening with something like awe.
I clasped his nape and surged toward him, crushing my mouth to his. My body ignited on contact, burning and aching for him.
One big hand returned to my breasts, finally parting my top to bare my heated flesh. His calloused fingertips teased and tormented my sensitive nipples, but he didn’t move his touch lower. He kept my mouth captive beneath his, feasting on my soft cries and panting breaths as he pinched and played with my breasts, driving me to a frenzy.
I needed release. My skin was too tight, and I could barely contain the pressure that built with every stroke of his tongue against mine. I grasped his hand and directed it toward my waistband. I broke our kiss just long enough to whisper across his lips: “Please. I need you, Max.”
His mouth crashed down on mine with a snarl, and he claimed me deeply as his fingers dipped into my silky pajamas. I let out a ragged cry when his fingers brushed over the tight bud between my thighs. I’d never felt so sensitive, like I would explode into a million ecstatic pieces if he allowed me release.
I lifted my hips, silently begging for more. Two fingers rubbed over my lace panties, and the textured material stimulated the most sensitive spot on my body. Electricity crackled through my veins, and I clutched him to me, my hand tugging at his black curls.
He growled into my mouth and applied more pressure, moving his fingers in a tight, circular motion. At the same time, he pinched my nipple hard.
The zing of pain triggered an explosion of pleasure. Liquid heat rolled through my body in a vicious wave, starting at my core and surging all the way to my fingers and toes. It flooded my mind, sapping me with ecstasy. I screamed his name. He caught it on his tongue, devouring my sounds of pleasure. He continued to stimulate me, wringing more bliss from my body than I’d known was possible.
He toyed with me until I became too sensitive to bear any more. Slowly, he withdrew his hand from my pants and gently cupped my nape, holding me in place as his kiss turned soft and tender.
I shuddered beneath him, the lingering aftershocks of pleasure dancing along my sensitive skin. I breathed him in, allowing myself to sink into everything that was Max.
He’d touched me in ways no man ever had, and I didn’t want to let him go. I never wanted this to end.