Rapture & Ruin by Julia Sykes
Chapter 21
Max
My heart hammered in my chest, and I curled my fingers to fists to hide their shaking. Adrenaline and rage ripped through my body, seeking a violent outlet.
Instead, I had to sit calmly in the back seat while my bitch of a sister watched me with a cruelly amused expression on her flawless face. I was hyperaware of my cousins in the front seats. Their smug satisfaction flooded the car like noxious fumes. Everyone had been waiting to see me fail again. And falling for Alexandra Fitzgerald—our enemy’s daughter—was an epic fuckup.
Aw, she’s so cute. I bet our cousins would think so, too. Should I introduce them?The memory of Francesca’s threat made my fury surge, and my fists clenched tighter.
My cousins were little more than beasts, caring only for power and twisted pleasure. They would rip Allie apart if my father let them off his leash.
A terrible image of Allie in pain screamed through my mind, ghosting over the familiar, nauseating memory of my mother’s suffering before she’d finally been killed. My stomach lurched, and I swallowed against the acid burn in my throat.
“No one touches her,” I ground out.
Francesca’s light, hateful laugh floated through the car. “You really do like her. Pathetic.”
“Why do you even care?” I demanded, even though I knew exactly why my relationship with Allie was forbidden.
My sister scoffed. “Don’t pretend I’m an idiot. I didn’t recognize your little princess when she came to the house, but that article about her in the Times told me who she was. Your girlfriend looks awfully cozy with Nikolai Ivanov. I’m surprised, Max. You were never good at sharing your toys.”
Article? I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about, but clearly, whatever she’d read had revealed Allie’s identity as Ron Fitzgerald’s daughter. And her connection to Niko.
My gut twisted. This was far worse than anything I could’ve imagined. I’d only met Allie because I was trying to prove my worth, but somehow, I’d managed to fuck everything up. The evidence I’d wanted to gather in order to blackmail Fitzgerald was supposed to ensure my family’s return to power. I would’ve been the one to usher in a new era of prosperity. I would’ve been a worthy heir, not a disgraced son.
“I followed you tonight, just to be sure,” Francesca continued, as though my heart wasn’t crumbling in my chest. “But I got bored of waiting for you to finish your little fuckfest. Sorry if I interrupted something important. I’m sure you haven’t gotten laid in a while.” She smirked at me. “Unless it’s been long enough that you’ve been paying whores to get you off. Two years is a long time to be alone.” Her voice softened with false pity. “But seriously, how did you ever get pretty Allie to accept a monster like you? How did you even meet?”
I ground my teeth together, refusing to give her a single word. My mind raced. How would I explain my relationship with Allie? There was no way I could tell my family the truth about how we’d met: that I’d kidnapped and interrogated her about her father’s ties to the Bratva.
Not that they would be horrified by my actions. If I’d succeeded in getting the information I needed, I would’ve been celebrated by my family. Just like I’d planned.
But now, I couldn’t let them know why I’d gotten close to Allie. It might make someone else decide that they could try again. And they would use much harsher methods of extracting answers.
“How could you be so stupid, Max?” The falsely cheery mask finally dropped, and Francesca glowered at me. “We’re barely surviving. Uncle Tony is still in prison. And you’re fucking the mayor’s daughter? Do you want him to destroy what’s left of us? We’re not strong enough to withstand an attack right now. Not when Fitzgerald is still tight with scum like the Ivanovs. They would kill us all if he even suspected that you’re defiling his precious princess.”
I coiled tighter with each of her poisonous words. Because they were all true.
I’d endangered my entire family, and I’d endangered Allie. I couldn’t seem to help breaking everything I touched, and now I’d committed my worst sin ever.
All my months of work stalking Fitzgerald were wasted. I couldn’t even tell my father about my secret mission to restore our family to their rightful place. Everything was shattered beyond repair.
And worst of all, I’d put Allie at risk.
All along, I’d known that I shouldn’t get close to her. But I’d been too weak to resist. Francesca was right: no one had touched me since the fire.
But it was more than that. No one had ever looked at me like Allie did. Before I’d been scarred, women had only seen Paul Ferrara’s heir, a dangerous and alluring conquest. Those who dared to approach me had been viciously beautiful and power-hungry. Even the women who wanted to be with me were a little bit scared of me.
I’d loved their respect, their awe and fear. I’d loved the hedonism of having no responsibilities but plenty of money to burn on whiskey and blow. While my father had been in prison, I’d been free to do whatever the fuck I wanted.
As soon as he came home, he’d made it clear that I was an entitled little shit. Unworthy of being his heir.
Now, my supposed friends had abandoned me. Family was all I had left, and I’d almost forsaken them for Allie.
We arrived at the house, and my stomach turned. I hadn’t crossed the threshold in nearly two years. As soon as I’d healed from the most debilitating burns, I’d moved out on my own. Anything to get away from the place where I’d been disciplined so harshly that I would bear the mark of my shame for the rest of my life.
“Fine,” Francesca sighed. “Don’t answer me. You can answer Father instead.” She shook her head at me. “Why won’t you let me help you, little brother? Do you always have to fuck up so bad?”
“You love when I fuck up,” I spat.
She let out a little hum of agreement. “How else would I ever get Father to take me seriously? I’m just a woman, after all. But it’s not my fault if his precious male heir is a failure.” She spoke flippantly, but the words were edged with years of resentment.
She had to fight to prove herself every day. If she fucked up even once, our father would marry her off, using her to secure an alliance or net a good payday for the family. Her ruthlessness and resourcefulness—and my failures—were the only things that protected her from that fate.
I would’ve felt sorry for her if she weren’t such a hateful bitch.
She opened her door, and I paused, jerking my chin in my cousins’ direction. “I’m not coming inside unless John and Paulie do too.”
Francesca released a derisive snort. “Don’t worry. They won’t go back and molest your girlfriend. No one wants that kind of conflict with Fitzgerald unless you force our hand. This meeting is for immediate family only.” A single dark brow rose. “Father is waiting.”
My gut twisted, and I barely suppressed a shudder.
Don’t show weakness.
Snakes writhed inside me as I got out of the car and walked up the front steps. Dread crept over my consciousness, as though I was walking to the gallows.
The cavernous entry hall was eerily dim, the only illumination coming from lights shaped like sconces on either side of the front door. The two additional stories of open air above faded into shadow, and only the first third of the curving double staircase was visible.
I assumed Francesca had orchestrated the dramatic lighting. She knew how to suffocate someone’s psyche before they even approached our father.
Even though I was familiar with her psychological warfare, the creeping darkness was still unnerving. Ghostly screams seemed to echo through the gloom, the memory of my own agony layering over my mother’s cries for mercy. She’d begged for my worthless life, even as they’d brutalized her.
I managed to keep my shoulders relaxed until Francesca turned down the hallway leading to our father’s study. My feet stalled out, concrete weights on the crimson carpet.
She shot me a smirk over her shoulder. She knew how that place decimated me.
Father knew it too.
My ruined face twisted with remembered agony, and for a moment, I smelled the sickly scent of burning flesh.
“Come on, little brother,” Francesca urged in that terribly delighted, melodic tone. “You’ve already kept him waiting long enough.”
I’d barely spoken a dozen words to my father since the incident. I only replied when he deigned to speak to me, and even then, there was only one acceptable response: “Yes, sir.”
He’d made it clear that I had to earn his respect. It was the entire reason I’d come up with my plan to blackmail Fitzgerald.
Now all of that was ruined, and I was forced to face my worst nightmare.
My legs were leaden, but somehow, I managed to walk in Francesca’s wake. It seemed to take an eternity to reach the study, but at the same time, we arrived far too quickly. She knocked on the dark wood door, and my father commanded us to enter. That single, clipped word shuddered through my system like a thunderclap.
Sweat beaded on my brow, and I clasped my hands together behind my back to hide their shaking.
The uncontrollable physical responses to returning to this traumatic place made rage spark in my chest. I hated this weakness, the way my body betrayed me even when I wanted to be strong and composed.
Rage was familiar. Rage was strength.
I stoked the embers in my chest, allowing the anger to consume me. My trembling fingers stilled, and my back straightened with purpose. My mission to take down Fitzgerald and restore my rightful place in the family had seared me with purpose for nearly two years. I might’ve fucked that up beyond repair, but the strength of my fury would get me through this hell.
The door swung open, revealing the man I loathed and feared in equal measure. My father leaned back in his red leather armchair, swirling his whiskey in a crystal glass in a bored posture. His lips thinned, almost disappearing beneath his neatly trimmed, short black beard. A few flecks of silver glimmered at his temples, the first signs of advanced age only making him appear that much more severe. Prison had carved deep lines around his black eyes, and now, they were drawn like crags in a cliff face. His dark gaze punched my chest, knocking the air from my lungs.
I remembered the last time he’d glared at me with such disdainful loathing. He’d been drinking whiskey then, too. And so had I. But I’d been drunk on my own arrogance and alcohol, and when I’d dared to rail at him for his failures to protect our family, the viper had struck with terrible precision.
The feel of his hands on my neck, the heat of the flames licking my face as he inexorably shoved me into the fire…
My stomach lurched, and I tasted a copper tang on my tongue as I bit my cheek to ground myself with a little hit of pain. I couldn’t allow myself to be sucked back into that terrible night. I had to stay alert and defend myself.
I had to defend Allie.
I thought of her peridot eyes, flashing like gemstones as she demanded my respect; the soft curve of her sensual lips as she told me she wasn’t afraid of me; the heat of her lithe body melting beneath my demanding touch as I claimed every inch of her that she would yield to me.
I took a breath and stilled, settling fully into the present. I wouldn’t allow my family to hurt her. No matter what I had to do, I would protect her.
“Your sister tells me that you’re in a relationship with Alexandra Fitzgerald.” My father’s drawl was soft and deceptively calm. “Our family is fractured. Your Uncle Tony is still in prison. Ron Fitzgerald would love an excuse to destroy what’s left of us while we’re critically weakened. He’s still allied with the Bratva. With the men who murdered your mother.” His voice rumbled with the hint of a growl on the last. For all of his cruelty, he’d loved my mother in his own way. He hated the men who’d taken her from us every bit as much as I did.
“Haven’t you cost this family enough?” he spat. “You let the Russians kill your mother. You wasted years pissing away my money when you should’ve been rebuilding the family. And now, you’re fucking our enemy’s daughter. Explain yourself, Maximus.”
Each of his accusations slammed into my wall of rage like a sledgehammer, seeking to shatter me. I gritted my teeth and drew my fury around me like a defensive shield. As long as I had the strength of my anger, I wouldn’t break.
It allowed me the presence of mind to come up with an excuse to explain away my actions and protect Allie. If my family thought she meant nothing to me, they wouldn’t have a reason to threaten her.
I squared my shoulders and met my father’s glower head-on. “I started a relationship with Alexandra to humiliate Fitzgerald,” I explained in a calm, even voice. Not even a hint of my lie colored my tone. “She’s an adult and can make her own choices independently of him. She’s kind and sensitive, and she doesn’t like that her dad tries to interfere in her life so much.” I was betraying some of her secrets, but if that was the cost of her safety, I would give them to my family. “She likes me. If her father tries to break us up, his princess will resent him. I’m hitting him where it hurts most. She’s the only family he has left.”
My father cocked his head at me, stroking his beard. An agonizing minute of silence passed, and I fought the urge to squirm under his scrutiny. I clenched my fists behind my back and locked my shaking knees.
Don’t show weakness.
“I appreciate that you were trying to hurt Fitzgerald,” he finally allowed. “At least you’re finally trying to help the family.” He rested an elbow on the chair arm and leaned forward. I felt his menace crash over me like a wave of condemnation. “But it was a stupid fucking plan. If you damage Fitzgerald’s relationship with his daughter, do you think he’s just going to take it on the chin? No. He’ll come after what’s left of us. You will end this relationship, and you will pray that she’s not stupid enough to breathe a word about it to her dad.”
“But he won’t want to do that, will you, Max?” My sister chimed in with her falsely sympathetic voice. “You might have approached her in order to humiliate her father, but you truly care about her. I saw how you looked at her. You were ready to fight our cousins to protect her. She’s compromised your loyalties. I think you might even love her.”
Her hateful words pierced my heart. Yes, I was falling for Allie. She saw me in a way no one else ever had, and I was addicted to the way she looked at me—like I wasn’t a monster. I craved her like I’d never wanted any woman. She was the only person who’d shown me even a shred of true kindness since my mother had died.
She understood my pain and my guilt in a way no one else could. No one else had even bothered to try.
But Allie had insisted on knowing me. She was stubborn and infuriating and absolutely perfect.
My father’s eyes narrowed. “Is this true? Do you care for this girl?”
“No.”
Everyone heard the lie drop like a stone between us.
His lips pressed to a thin line, twisting as though he’d bitten something sour. “End it.” The sharp command lashed me like a whip. “End it, or I swear to god, I’ll send your cousins to pay her a visit. Your little humiliation play will only draw Fitzgerald’s ire without truly landing a blow. I don’t want to draw his attention to us just yet, but if you won’t let her go, I’ll send him a message he’ll understand.
“The Ferraras are done cowering and licking our wounds. If you choose to put his daughter in the line of fire, that’s your prerogative. With any luck, you’ll be the head of this family one day, and you’ll have to learn to make hard decisions.” Black eyes bored into my soul. “End it, or the girl suffers. Your choice.”
I swallowed the acid in my throat and offered the only answer I could: “Yes, sir.”