Brutal Boxer by Naomi Porter

19

Boxer

This couldn’t be happening.

In a brief exchange, Aspen had set me on fire all over again. When she crashed into my chest, I’d managed to hide my morning wood with a T-shirt. She’d fucking startled me. I was about to jerk off to her. Instead of doing it in the bed she’d sleep in later, I’d grabbed my shirt to catch my cum.

See? I could be decent.

Goddamn, having her soft hands on my skin made me ache. I was surprised when she didn’t run out of the bedroom. She could have easily turned around and bolted.

But she didn’t.

She stayed, like she couldn’t tear herself away from me.

And it totally screwed with my head and dick. I should’ve had sex with Libby before I left, but I couldn’t. I hadn’t been with her since the night Aspen arrived. Not even after the fight when she unzipped my jeans, asking if I wanted her. I’d said yes, thinking why the fuck not? The second her hand touched me, I’d frozen, rearing away from her like I’d been struck by lightning. It fucking felt like I was about to betray Aspen. Crazy, totally crazy shit. I had absolutely no reason to deny myself. I was a free man.

At this moment, I understood why. Even though I’d hated Aspen for so long, I never stopped loving her. It didn’t matter that she broke my heart. Didn’t matter if we were apart or with other people. We never forgot our first love.

We never stopped loving them.

Since she’d been back in my life, I felt weak. The pull to her was powerful, like before. I didn’t want to feel this way. I didn’t want to want her.

Was there a way to stop these feelings?

Was that really what I wanted?

I savored the last bite of pancake, unsure of what to do about my ex. Jeez, she even cooked a ton of delicious food for all of us. I couldn’t believe how good it was. Before, she used to burn everything.

I wasn’t sure why I was surprised. Aspen had grown up, just as I had. At some point in her life, she’d learned to cook. What else could she do that I didn’t know about? I’d missed out on everything with her. Didn’t experience all the things we’d talked about.

My chest ached for all I’d lost. Aspen wasn’t the same person I’d loved. She wasn’t my Snow.

And yet, I was still drawn to her.

It didn’t make sense.

I didn’t dare look her way. All I could think of was her lips on my left peck and the scent of her watermelon lip gloss left on my chest. It might have been a brief encounter, but feeling her lips and hands ignited my engine.

After she left the room, I rubbed the lip gloss off with my thumb. Curiosity had gotten the better of me. Like a lame-ass, perverted, prepubescent teenage boy, I licked it off.

No shit, a zing had shot into my dick, forcing me to pace and calm the hell down before I left the room. Then I nearly crashed into her in the hallway.

At that point, I was royally screwed.

Until today, I’d refused to believe I was doomed. Deny, deny, deny, right? I tried like hell. Even slept with Libby that one time to prove Aspen meant nothing to me.

I was a goddamn fool.

My efforts were all for naught.

Aspen Crosby had been the only woman to hurt me. It should’ve been easy to get over her, but I never had.

Stupidly, I wondered if she’d gotten over me.

Of course, she had. We’d both moved on in our lives.

I’d been content. I had my club, my hog, the gym, and more pussy than I could ever want. In my spare time, I was an MMA trainer.

I had a great life. Didn’t need her disrupting it.

The spiteful side of me wanted to show Aspen what she’d missed out on. Fuck, did I want to make her regret her actions.

Aspen glanced my way at the same time I peered at her. She averted her eyes, just like me. What were we? In high school again?

I wished I could read her mind. Had catching me naked turned her on, the way it had me?

“Did you all have enough to eat?” Jill collected the plates.

“I’m good, baby.” Wolf patted her ass as she dropped a kiss on his lips. “Thank you for breakfast.”

“Oh, don’t thank me. Aspen did it all.”

Some unseen force pushed me to my feet. “I’m good.” I took my plate to the kitchen, where Aspen filled the sink with soapy water.

“Those were the best pancakes I’ve ever had. Thanks for cooking.” Who was I? What was I doing?

Aspen’s eyes shot to mine, her mouth slightly open. It made me swell with pride, knowing I affected her. She didn’t say anything, only took the plate from my hand.

I gave her a slow wink. “Hollywood, you’re with me,” I shouted on my way to the front door.

“Okay, boss.”

More than ever, I needed to clear my mind, get the taste of her lip gloss out of my head and shake her sweet voice out of my ears.

This forced proximity was hell.

I’d endure it.

And come out on top.

Time to embrace the hate. Aspen Crosby, Snow, was everything I didn’t need or want.

So why in the fuck did I just flirt with her? I needed to cut this shit out.

For the last several hours, Hollywood and I patrolled the area surrounding the cabin. I’d needed this break. Fresh air in my lungs, just me and nature…

And Hollywood.

I didn’t care he was with me. He kept asking thoughtful questions about how and where to escape should Casso’s goons find this place. What to do to protect Aspen if it was only him available.

Yeah, that last question twisted me up inside. The very thought of Campbell getting his hands on Aspen made me turn murderous.

“How long do you think we’ll be out here?”

I looked sidelong at Hollywood. “I have no idea.”

“How will we know when the coast is clear to return home?”

“Storm’s dad will send someone out.”

“Do you trust him? Storm’s dad, I mean.”

His question gave me pause. I turned to face him. “Storm trusts him. What’s with all the questions?”

Hollywood shoved his hands into his coat pockets, staring out into the vista. “I’m not sure. Gut feeling, maybe.”

I scrubbed my hand over my cheek. The cabin was off the grid and remote. I couldn’t imagine Campbell finding us out here. That didn’t mean I wasn’t worried.

If Casso wanted to, he’d take out his fury on the club. Many people were at risk in Bastion Township, so Sheriff Hendricks had been put on alert. The Fallen Soldiers MC in Iowa were heading up to Minnesota today.

Storm was preparing for war. I should’ve been there to fight with him, as I had when we were Marines.

“She’s gorgeous, y’know? Sweet too. While she was in the kitchen, she cleaned as she went. Sort of reminded me of my mom before she died. I remembered her telling me, always clean up, so you’re not overwhelmed by the mess. Aspen did just that.” He sighed like there was more he wanted to say.

“Spit it out, prospect.”

“I’m just worried for her. I know I don’t know anything about her. Or your history with her—”

“My history with her?” I snapped.

“Come on, Boxer. Everyone in the club knows she’s Snow. You have her name tattooed on your chest. That’s huge.” He kicked around a rock with the toe of his boot.

“So?”

“So, if anything happened to her because I didn’t protect her, I’d feel like shit. To be honest, I’m worried about my own life.”

I snorted. “You should be. So don’t fuck up.”

His eyes went wide.

I laughed. “Don’t worry, Hollywood, you won’t screw up.” I clapped my hand on his shoulder as we headed back to the cabin.

“I hope you’re right. So why’d you dump her?”

“I didn’t. She dumped me.” I gritted my teeth, hating to admit the truth.

“Seriously? I find that hard to believe.”

“Why, because I’m the perfect specimen of male hotness?” I puffed out my chest.

He snickered. “Sure, Box. But seriously, Aspen doesn’t seem to have a malicious bone in her body. I don’t think she could dump a guy, much less kill a fly.”

I stopped hard. “Look, I’m not gonna have this talk with you. She ghosted me. She didn’t verbally tell me shit. Don’t let her beauty fool you. Even the prettiest woman can be a malicious bitch.”

“Damn, you’re not bitter about it at all, are you?”

I shoved him. “Fucker.”

“If she didn’t tell you herself, how’d you know she dumped you?”

“Enough, already.”

“Did I hit a nerve? Don’t mean to. Aspen seems like a sweet, honest woman. I mean Christ, look who she’s on the run from. You’re ten times a better man than Casso Campbell.” Hollywood wandered down the path. “You should finally confront her. I’d sure want to know why she dumped me,” he shouted over his shoulder.

Son of a bitch, he was right. I should ask Aspen now that she was here. Force her to tell me what made her dump me.

I trudged back to the cabin, ready for battle.

When I entered, I didn’t see her anywhere.

“Hey Boxer, something wrong?” Jill asked.

“Where’s Aspen?”

She furrowed her brow. “Napping. Why?”

Dammit.

“No reason.” I went to the kitchen for some water. The way I felt, maybe it was a good thing Aspen wasn’t around. I might have made a fool of myself.

Yeah, I’d calm down, then get her alone and demand answers.

Or maybe I’d just avoid her.

As the week stretched on, avoiding Aspen didn’t work. Each day, she relaxed a little more. Smiled and laughed with Hollywood and Jill.

Her dazzling, sparkling green eyes seared my retinas. Jealousy bubbled in my blood, along with disdain.

I hated it.

Hated her even more for being someone I never wanted to lose.

She cooked and cleaned like she was feeling better than when we were at the clubhouse. Painted her nails with Jill and played cards. Her sweetness filled every inch of this shack. I’d have preferred to be stabbed in the eye than see her in those goddamn leggings. They curved over her ass like a glove. It didn’t matter if she was covered from her feet to her neck. My hands, mouth, and dick remembered every inch of her.

Dammit, I wanted to rediscover her. Memorize all her changes like fuller hips and tits. The young teenage body I’d been addicted to had developed into a drool-worthy, heart-palpitating, cock-torturing masterpiece.

After fifteen fucking days of having her back in my life, I was ready to throw out my pride just to get between her legs. Just to be with her because I’d been starved of her touch.

Christ, I felt so fucking pathetic.

Here I was dying inside to have her. And not once had Aspen acknowledged me beyond handing me a plate of food or muttering good morning. She didn’t have the decency to apologize for shredding my heart. Or own her shit while I risked my life to protect her. It was fucking messed up.

But did I really want to hear her lame excuses?

No.

Fuck, if the heart didn’t want what it wanted, though.

“Blackjack!” she squealed from the small dining table, raising her hands above her head victoriously. She wiggled her body in the chair, doing a happy dance like when we were together, playing board games.

“Seriously, woman. Are you counting cards?” Hollywood hissed, tossing his hand on the table. “How many is that today?”

“No idea. I’m not keeping track,” she tittered, shuffling the deck. “I don’t cheat. I play fair and square.”

“That’s debatable,” I growled.

She peered around Hollywood, glowering at me. I could tell she wanted to say something equally rude but didn’t.

“Another round?” She looked at Hollywood and my sister.

“I’m in. Got nothing else to do.” Jill shrugged, sipping her whiskey.

“How about we up the ante and play strip poker?” Hollywood suggested.

I got to my feet. “Game over.”

Aspen’s eyes widened, mouth slightly gaping.

“Outside, Hollywood.” I stormed to the door, grabbing my coat off the rack, and put on my boots. I’d relieve Wolf and the prospect early from their shift. Anything to get out of Aspen’s presence.

Hollywood followed my orders as I expected, but he had a curious look about him. Every day he asked if I’d confronted her about the breakup. It annoyed the shit out of me. I didn’t need him giving me relationship advice, even if I wanted to know how she could treat me like crap. Maybe I’d been a fool for believing her when she’d promised forever. She had been only sixteen at the time.

Could that have been it? We were just too damn young to know shit about anything. I growled to myself, putting on my black knit beanie.

“Supper will be ready in twenty minutes,” Aspen called out. “Don’t be late.”

I narrowed my gaze, hating how she made me feel out of control. “Fine.” I went to the door and left.