In Death I Live by Lindsay Becs

ZORA

I wakeand still when pain radiates through my body. Holding my breath, I try to remember where I am. My hand slides along the warm skin of the person I’m lying on. My eyes pop open in the dark as it all comes back to me.

Fuck.Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck!

This cannot be happening.

Howdid I let this happen? How was I so stupid to make it this easy for him to find me and find out about Remi? Motherfucker.

His menacing smile glares down at me as he cages me in against the wall. His hands on my body and the heat of his breath on my face have me wanting to knee him in the balls and get the fuck out of here, but I know I can’t. Not if I want to stay alive. Not if I want to keep Remi safe.

I have to play the game. The one I’ve played over and over again. The one I thought I beat.

I was wrong.

I guess we were only at halftime.

Gripping my ass, he pushes his erection into me, rolling his hips to make sure I feel him against me.Yeah, I feel it, asshole.And the feel, sight and smell of him make me want to puke. It’s taking everything in me to fight against my natural instincts not to snarl, gag and push him away.

Taking a deep inhale with his nose against the side of my face, he says, “I’m going to fuck you so hard, Zora. I want my dick imprinted on your insides.”Gross.

“Is that what you need me for? A good fuck? You couldn’t find anyone else to slip inside?” I ask and regret it the second I stop talking.

He tenses and I hold my breath, waiting for the blow to hit. Instead, he relaxes and strokes his fingers through my hair. “No, glow worm. You know you’re special. No one has ever been able to do for me what you do.”

That would be because he molded me into his own little sex doll. Teaching me each and every thing he wanted, just the way he liked it. And just like everything else in my warped young mind, I thought it was because he cared about me. I used to be proud of how I could pleasure him.

Now, I want to chop his balls off and shove them down his throat.

“Then what, Slater? What do you want from me?”

“After I’m done fucking you, I’m sending you to some… friends.” But the way he says “friends” makes me think that is the opposite of what they are. “I need information on them and from them, and you’re going to be the one to deliver it to me.”

“I don’t even know who you’re talking about. How the hell am I supposed to find out a bunch of shit from strangers?”

Then he smiles again. “Because you’re just their type.”

It’s like a bucket of ice water is poured down my back. “No.” I shake my head. “Slater, no. You can’t send me to one of your sick cults.”

“Shh. Shh. Shh… They aren’t. They’re…different. The less you know, the better, Zora. You trust me, don’t you?” Not even my hangnail trusts him. But I nod. “Good.” Someone knocks on the door, turning his focus away from me, and I’m thankful for the extra inch of space between us. “That’s Kale with some food,” he tells me before yelling for him to come in.

The lock of the door turns and in walks Kale, the Devil’s right-hand demon. His eyes meet mine and squint. It’s then that I realize that I might be able to fool Slater, but Kale is a whole other story.

He throws a wrapped sandwich and bottle of water on the bed, not taking his eyes off of me. “Miss me?” I sass, even though I’m still pressed against the wall with nowhere to go.

He licks his lower lip before running his teeth over the soft flesh. “I missed your mouth maybe.” He shrugs. “But not for the shit that you spew from it.” His eyes rove over my body, making my lip curl in disgust. At least I don’t have to hide my hatred for him. Slater has always known how much I hate his best friend. “See you later, worm.”

I fight to move, but Slater holds me back as he chuckles. “Good to see you and him still love each other.” Once the door closes behind Kale, Slater finally lets me go, stepping back and giving me room to breathe a little. “Eat. I’ll be back later.”

“Where are you going?” I ask stupidly.

His eyes meet mine. Anyone else might cower from that look, but not me. I know where he started, where he comes from. I know that behind that look is just another scared little boy wishing someone would love him. And I know his weakness.Me.

So instead, I lift a brow in challenge to see how we’re playing this time. “Be ready for my cock when I get back,” he says, sounding annoyed before he leaves, slamming the door closed behind him. I hold my breath until I hear the lock click into place.

Then, I let out the air in my lungs with a whoosh, leaning over with my hands on my knees.I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I chant in my head over and over, but then I stand up and wipe the tears from my eyes because I have to.

There’s no other choice.

* * *

I wake up with a scream as my head is pulled up by my hair, my scalp burning as my hair is being ripped from it. My back is arched back, making my spine feel like it’s going to snap.

“What are you playing at, Zora?”

I stiffen because as much as I don’t want it to be Slater, I want it to be Kale even less.

He straddles my lower back, still pulling my hair and head back. Then I feel it. The press of his knife against my throat. “You used to be such a good little girl,” he says before spitting down on my face. It makes me flinch and that makes his knife dig into my skin enough to cut and make me bleed. He groans, and then I feel it. He’s fucking hard. “You know what your blood does to me, worm. If you don’t want me fucking every hole in your body, you better not bleed anymore.”

“Okay,” I whisper.

“Slater trusts you. But I don’t,” he grits against my ear. “He’s too drunk on your pussy to see that you want him dead. And I’m not letting you out of here until I know you won’t turn on him.”

He’s not wrong.

Yesterday when Slater came back, he fucked me and I let him. It’s a means to an end that I know I have to live through in order to get out of here alive and get on with my life. And Remi’s.

He didn’t stay after. He never has. It’s the only bright spot I see right now after living in hell with him.

Waking up with my hair being ripped from my head by Kale was not what I expected to happen next. I guess I shouldn’t be totally surprised. Kale is the smart one. He’s also Slater’s added muscle and bodyguard, for lack of better terms. He’s always known that I’m his friend’s greatest weakness as much as I have.

What hehas forgotten is that there was a day—a long, long time ago—where I was his greatest weakness too.

“I already told him I’d do what he wants.” I croak out my reply through my strained throat.

In a quick movement that has me feeling disoriented at first, he flips me over to my back, still straddling my waist, bent and in my face. “And I already told you, I don’t trust you. You’ll do and say anything to get out of here and tohim.”

He can’t even say Remi’s name. Good. I think if I heard him say it, it’d be enough to have me grabbing his knife and shoving it into his jugular.

“But I’m also not an idiot,” I seethe through clenched teeth.

He stares down at me for long-drawn-out seconds before he sits back. “We’ll see about that.” Then, he places the blade between his teeth and pulls out a rope from his back pocket. My eyes widen knowing what’s coming next.

I shake my head. “No. Please don’t, Kale.” I beg, knowing he won’t listen to my pleas. My cries for him to stop and show mercy fall on deaf ears. He binds my wrists and ties them to the headboard before turning around and doing the same with my ankles so I’m spread out on top of the bed.

He looks back at me with that sinister look on his face before he leaves the room. “Enjoy your rest, worm. You’re going to need it.”

Why my bodyburns and aches as stabbing pain seizes my side. Why I taste blood inside my mouth. Why I was walking down the road in a thunderstorm while the cold rain soaked me through to my bones. I remember now.

Squeezing my eyes closed, I try to move, but a moan of pain comes out of my mouth anyway. The body under mine tenses for a second before he relaxes.

Neither of us moves again or says anything for the longest time. Not knowing what to say. My breathing is shallow as I try not to expand my lungs much to avoid the pain that it inflicts.

“You okay, angel?” his deep timber asks, sliding over me like a warm blanket, his words vibrating through me where I lie on his chest. I nod against him, not moving. “Are you in pain?” I nod again as a tear slips from the corner of my eye, landing on his bare skin. “Let me get you something to help.” He shifts to move, but I hold him to me tighter, not wanting him to leave me.

“Please stay,” I beg him like I did several times last night. It’s funny. I don’t know him at all, and yet I feel comfortable and safe with him. I already know that he won’t let anything hurt me.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

His fingers sink into my hair, massaging and running through the strands. It feels so fucking good. I don’t even realize that I’m making any noise until he grips my chin and picks my head up to look at him. “Angel, you need to stop your sexy little noises. I only have so much restraint, and I used all of it up last night.”

Licking my lips, I swallow. “Zora.”

“What?” he asks confused.

“My name. It’s Zora.” I drop my eyes to his mouth, wondering what his lips will look like when they say my name. Smirking, I look back up. “I don’t mind ‘Angel’, but once you get to know me, you might realize it’s not very accurate.”

His teeth sink into his bottom lip with a grin. “You like to play with the Devil’s demons, baby girl?”

“Maybe a little,” I tease, lying my head back down on his chest.

“Fuck,” he groans, his hand reaching down to shamelessly adjust his cock, which is tenting his boxers. “You’re going to be trouble for me, aren’t you?”

“Only the best kind.” He chuckles, and the deep rumble makes me smile.

We’re both quiet again. I don’t know what time it is or how long it’s been, but I think he’s still awake.

“River?” I force myself to sit up to look at him. “Thank you for last night.”

Reaching up, he tucks my hair behind my ear. “You might think I helped you by bringing you here, but what you don’t know yet is that I just brought you into hell.” His smile is beautiful and frightening all at once, and I know right then that I’m fucked in every way by being here with him. He already has his claws deep in me.

“I’ve already lived through hell. I’ve been tossed into the fire more times in my life than most ever survive. Right now? You seem more like heaven.”

He sits up more, leaning close to me, his breath fanning across my lips as his nose runs the length of mine. “Outside this room, you’re fair game, angel. You sold your life to the Devil the second I brought you here. But make no mistake; I will rip apart the fucker who put his hands on you and hurt you last night.” His tongue flicks across my lips, making me shiver. “You’re going to see Doc in a little bit, and then you’re going to answer all the questions I didn’t ask last night.”

Pulling away, he stands and walks into the bathroom, not bothering to close the door behind him. When I hear the shower turn on, I let out a breath, still trying to make sense of everything.

When he emerges a few minutes later, he only has a towel tied around his waist. My greedy eyes drink him in. And I’ll be dammed if I wouldn’t burn myself alive to know what it’s like to be with him without his restraint. Even if it does kill me in the end.

“Like what you see?” he asks, pulling me from my thoughts with a lifted brow.

“Maybe,” I admit, dipping my head.

* * *

After River guidesme down the hall, I sit with him as a woman brings in a tray with two dome-covered plates. When she places them on the table in front of us, she lifts the lids to reveal two steaming omelets that instantly make my mouth water. Next to them, she sets down coffee and juice.

Reaching for the much-needed coffee, I wince when I move too fast, making my ribs hurt.

“Careful,” River growls.

Ignoring him, I move slower this time and dig into the food as my stomach grumbles loudly, the sound making my cheeks heat from embarrassment. But when the first bite of food hits my tongue, I no longer care. I don’t even know the last time I had a breakfast like this, let alone a meal at all that wasn’t crackers.

I’m almost done with the food on my plate when I notice he hasn’t touched his. “Aren’t you hungry?”

“I am. I’ve just never seen someone inhale food at that rate before,” he says, sounding amused.

“Not all of us are born with gold spoons in our mouths,” I grumble, shoveling more salty goodness into my mouth.

He’s quiet a moment as he digs into his food. “I wasn’t born into this.” He says it so quietly I almost don’t hear him at all. I pause, looking up at him. “Eat,” he says before I can ask anything more. “Doc will be here soon.”

I don’t push for more, but I file that information—I wasn’t born into this—away to ask him about one day.

After we finish eating, River takes me into another room where an older man is waiting. After checking over my cut-up face, he tells River he did a good job with caring for my injuries last night.

Doc had asked if I was on any type of birth control before he asked me to pee in a cup. Feeling my cheeks heat, I shook my head. He asked if I wanted to be, and after gnawing on my lip for a few seconds, I nodded. I knew that sleeping with these boys was part of what I was here for, but having a baby was definitely not. Doc put in an implant, seeing as how I’d probably have plenty of pills to take with my injuries. I honestly didn’t care what form it came in as long as it worked.

When Doc moves to lift my shirt, I stop him. “I’m only going to look at your ribs. Is that okay?” the man asks. He looks honest and truthful, so I nod and let him, never taking my eyes off of a spot on the wall across from me as he does. I yelp when he presses into a few places.

“I don’t think they’re broken, but they aren’t good either. Without an x-ray, I’d say she’s cracked a couple. Keep this wrapped around her torso for four to six weeks. No major movement or they’ll get worse and never heal,” the man tells River—not me—as he hands him a roll of something. “She can take these every six hours for pain as needed,” he adds, handing him a pill bottle.

“Thanks, Doc,” River tells the man, shaking his hand.

“River, I mean it. No jarring movements,” he tells him again with a pointed look.

River smiles. “Can’t promise, Doc. But we’ll try to behave.”

Shaking his head, the man leaves. Once again, I’m alone with this mystery man called River.

“Here.” He holds out a pill for me to take. I swallow it down without question. “Hold your shirt up. I’ll wrap your ribs, and then I have some people to introduce you to.”

Nervously, I listen to him, pulling the shirt I slept in up under my breasts. His fingers meet my bruised skin before he binds me tightly in the roll of stretchy cotton. When he’s done, he pulls the shirt back down.

Taking my hand in his once more, he pulls me behind him. We make our way down a long hall and set of stairs until we’re in a large living area with couches in a U shape. Three other guys are there watching a basketball game on a huge TV.

“Hey, fuckers. I have someone to show you,” River says, pulling me in front of him. He stands behind me with his hands possessively on me—one on my hip and one flat on my stomach with his chin resting on my shoulder. It feels like how a couple who’s been together for a while would stand, not two people who hardly know one another.

“Well, well, well,” one of them says with his lips curling into a devilish grin. “What do we have here?”

“Cruz, this is Zora. Zora, that’s Cruz,” River introduces as my eyes take him in. He’s got soft-looking curly brown hair and green eyes under a thick line of dark lashes and a nose ring. His skin is darker than the rest of them, and he’s a beautiful masterpiece of man.

Really, they all are.

My eyes shift to the one guy sitting next to Cruz. He looks like the serious one of the group with cut features and gaunt cheeks. His jet-black hair and dark brown eyes make him look dark and deadly.

“Domonic was the one driving last night,” River says into my ear, making me shiver.

“Oh” is all I manage to say to that.

The third guy on the other end smiles big, showcasing a deep dimple in his cheek. He’s got blonde hair and blue eyes like me. He looks like the kind of guy who appears sweet and innocent but eats you alive when you’re alone.

“This is going to be fun,” he says, running his tongue across his teeth.

“That perv is Greyson,” River says, sounding annoyed as his friend’s eyes travel over me.

“Hi,” I say, my second one-syllable word since I’ve been in here with them.

“We don’t bite, sweetheart,” Cruz says. “At least we won’t yet,” he amends with a wink.

“Maybe I do.” The words fly out of my mouth before I think about what I’m saying and who I’m with.

They all stare a second before they bust out laughing. Behind me, River is chuckling into my neck. “Fuck, you’re either going to be a lot of fun or the death of me.”

He walks us to the couch and sits, pulling me onto his lap. It’s a weird place to be. I’m not sure if he’s trying to show his friends that they aren’t to mess with me or if there’s more to it. Oddly, I feel more comfortable sitting with him like this than if I were to be sitting by myself.

His hand goes to my thigh, his thumb softly sliding back and forth. “We’re going to ask you some questions. That okay, angel?” he asks, his voice sliding over me like a blanket and pulling me into a relaxed state.

“Yeah,” I sigh.

“Do you know who hurt you yesterday?” he asks, getting right into it.

My body tenses, but his hand moves up my leg and he keeps rubbing his thumb on me, the motion relaxing me again. “No. They wore masks.”

“They?”

I nod, my eyes closing as my head lays against his chest. “There were three of them. They jumped me the day before. Took me to some cabin or house.”

“What did they want?” he asks softly.

“They tied me up so I couldn’t get away. Kept asking me about someone named The Swan.” I repeat everything that Kale and Slater beat into me.

“Do you know who that is?”

“No,” I hum as he moves my hair away from my neck and his lips press to my skin.

“Why did they let you go?” he asks between leaving gentle kisses along my neck and shoulder.

“I passed out from the pain. I think after they cracked my ribs. I woke up on the side of the road. It was raining. I just started walking, not knowing where to go or where I was. And then you were there,” I say with a smile.

“Yeah, angel. I’m right here.”

“Can I sleep now? I feel so tired.”

Tilting my head back, he presses a soft kiss to my lips. “Sleep,” he whispers across my lips.

Almost like I’m hypnotized, I fall into a deep sleep wrapped in River’s arms.