Family Affair by Elle M Thomas

Chapter 22

 

Declan

 

“Fuck!” Mase roars as he watches his car disappear and then he turns to me.

“I know, sorry.” I try to calm his wrath, but that only seems to encourage it.

“Sorry? You’re sorry? You’re a fucking idiot is what you are, Declan.” He stands perfectly still, his stony glare fixed on me. “I warned you about you and Anita and how it shouldn’t affect me and Livy, and yet here we are.”

“Sorry,” I repeat and then think about me and Anita. She looked seriously pissed off, however, more than that she looked hurt and that makes me feel worse still.

“Stop fucking apologising, or even better stop dragging me and my wife into your drama.”

I don’t point out that as he and I are close and that his wife is my lady’s sister, so somehow, I think he and Liv will always be dragged into it. Mase is angry, really angry, like changing through darker and darker shades of red until steam is coming out of his ears angry. He can be pissy and antsy about stuff he isn’t comfortable with, and business can rile him, but nothing sends him raging like Liv. Like something that is likely to hurt her or get under her skin. Like things that will make her angry, especially when that anger is directed at him and that is exactly what I have done, again.

“You have to tell her about Audrey.” His shoulders have dropped slightly, and his hands are no longer balled into fists, so he’s softening and calming down a little.

I nod. He’s right. “What do I tell her though?”

His hands are clenching I notice. He’s getting cross again. “Oh, I don’t know…maybe you could act like a fucking adult and tell her the truth!”

I shake my head. “I’m not ready to do that.”

“Then get ready, little brother, because when I tell Liv, she is unlikely to be willing to keep your secrets for you.”

“No! Don’t tell Liv, please.”

There’s a low wall near where we’re standing, and I feel guilty as I watch Mase move closer and drop down onto it.

He reaches up to his head where he roughly runs his hand through his hair and then, with his eyes closed, pinches the bridge of his nose as if he has a headache.

“Dec, I love you, even if you are a fucking idiot.” His eyes are open and he is looking up at me.

I know what’s coming next and to be honest, it’s no more than I’m expecting. If anything, if he said anything different, I’d be disappointed.

“I don’t lie to Liv. Assuming she’s speaking to me, I know that as soon as I get home, she is going to hurl swear words at me, possibly throw a punch if she’s close enough…” A wry smile curls his lips ever so slightly and I can’t help but reciprocate because as much as we joke about Liv throwing punches, it really isn’t her typical reaction. She’s one of the gentlest, least violent people I have ever met. “And then she is going to ask me what is going on and exactly who Audrey is because she in no way bought that she was a former business associate.”

I nod. I knew that and I respect him and Liv.

“You could ask her not to tell Anita.”

His face is back to angry, and he is on his feet and pacing. “And here we are again, your actual fucking, fucking with my life.”

Suddenly, my own anger rises, aimed at Mase, but I am angrier with myself for being in this position than at him for not trying to fix it by coercing his wife in some way.

“Fucking? My fucking! Anita and I do not fuck—I mean we do, but it’s not fucking, not like before with other people. She is different and she deserves more respect than your comment demonstrates.”

I find myself flying towards my larger brother, ready to fight, but I’m unsure who I am really fighting.

Punches fly and a few kicks that wouldn’t look out of place on a school playground follow before Mase, who appears to have seen me coming, has me pinned against a wall by my throat.

“Calm the fuck down!”

I am still thrashing a little.

“Declan, stop!”

I feel myself slump in his grip.

He looks down at me and shakes his head. “Sorry, about the fucking comment. The only way Liv will agree to keep quiet is if you are going to tell Anita.”

A nod is my only response.

“So, you are on a clock.”

Another nod follows.

“You are also fucked beyond belief if the suggestion of you fucking her gets you all hot and bothered.”

I frown, which makes a change from nodding.

“Dec, when the idea of someone else referring to your girl as being the one you’re fucking sends you into shitty fight moves, it’s love. The real thing.”

He releases me. I straighten my clothes and take his former place on the wall while he continues to speak.

“Don’t fuck this up if it’s real because you won’t ever find it again.”

I know he is right. I believe every word he is saying, and yet, I don’t want to accept that because that means I have to tell Anita about Audrey and I’m not ashamed of it. It happened and I learned from it, but what I learned is the opposite of what I want with Anita.

Mase is right.

“I am fucked.”

He laughs. “Yup, well and truly. Come on, assuming you don’t really need to go to the club, let’s find a bar, grab one drink and you can make a plan of how this is going to work. Then, hopefully, the girls will have calmed down enough for me to go home to my wife who will make good on the promise I was previously on, and you can take Anita home and do whatever you’ve planned on doing.”

He offers me a hand and pulls me to my feet before back slapping me.

“Thanks, Mase.”

“No problem. That’s what big brothers are for, but stop dropping me in the shit, please.”

“Sorry. I’ll try.”

“Hmmm.” He doesn’t sound convinced. “And it’s a good job your work life comes with bouncers because you still can’t fucking fight for shit.”

 

Anita

 

“Anita.” Liv is staring at me expectantly, waiting for an answer.

“Home. Mum and Dad’s home, not Declan’s home.”

She nods and immediately turns the car in that direction.

Neither of us speak for several long seconds and then it’s her that opens conversation.

“Dec won’t be happy when he gets to mine and finds you’re not there.”

“Good. Do you know what Liv, I don’t want to be a doormat anymore—”

She cuts in. “You’re not—”

It’s my turn to interrupt her now. “I am, always have been, especially with men. From Adam Ashton in year one right up to now with Dec. I am just so fucking grateful that they have deemed me worthy of their attention that I put up with every bit of shit going and keep coming back for more. I am not perfect, and I’ve done things I am not proud of, but for once I want to be a choice not an option and for the person I am with to be proud to have me and be willing to do anything to keep me.”

The first of my tears rolls down my cheek.

“And that is no more than you deserve, and I think Dec might be that person.”

“Yet here we are, Declan with Mase, presumably getting their stories straight and me with you, crying.”

She pulls over and parks at the roadside a few streets from home and in seconds I find myself wrapped in her arms being squeezed tightly under the guise of a hug. “I promise, there will be no getting their story straight and when Mase gets home, I will know the truth, the whole truth.”

I can’t help myself, I laugh at her. “You are fucking scary.”

“So I’ve been told.” She grins.

“I need to be more like you.”

She shakes her head. “No, you need to be more like you and as for you being an option…” She releases a long exhale. “Never. Don’t let anyone use you, not ever. I have been there.” She takes a deep breath and I know she means her abusive stepfather.

I am about to speak, to offer her words of comfort, but she waves it away and continues.

“I know, I had no choice in the matter, and I was a child, yada yada, but I have been there and the feelings of being powerless and worthless are the worst.”

I nod and feel several tears hot on my cheeks.

“You sure you want to go home?”

“Yeah, I think I need to take some time away from Dec, or at least show him that he made a mistake in not telling me who that woman was.”

She stares at me.

“What?”

“Nothing, just…look, he should have told you who she was tonight, but you know, whoever she is, there will be other people and I don’t know that you, or any of us, have the right to know everything about everyone if it’s the past and not important to the future.”

She’s right and I absolutely agree with her. I don’t want to know everything. I would probably be scarred if I did with Dec’s past.

She shrugs and rolls her eyes making me smile.

“I don’t want to know everything and everyone, maybe just the things and people who will make him lie when confronted by them.”

“Sounds fair.”

“What?” I ask again, seeing an expression cross her face that suggests she has more to say.

“That has to cut both ways, like Christian.”

“Christian doesn’t impact on my present or future, well, he didn’t until he turned out to be related to the Hardings.”

“Exactly,” Liv says with a knowing glimmer in her eyes that suggests she knows there’s more to me and Christian than I have let on. “I’m always here to talk to and to listen.”

“I know.” An emotional wobble enters my voice because as much as I would like to share with my sister, I can’t because she will then be conflicted as to where her loyalties lie. “But you’re a Harding, too, and I wouldn’t ever want to put you in a position of needing to lie or at least keep secrets from Mase.”

“I know.” She looks conflicted already and I haven’t even told her anything yet which proves to me that I shouldn’t. “You’re sure about going home?” she asks, our conversation having come full circle.

“Absolutely.”

 

When we pull up outside my parent’s house, I hesitate.

“There’s still time for us to head back to mine.”

I laugh. “No, I just know Dad will say something or give me knowing looks.”

Liv is already out of the car and opening my door. “Come on, then, let’s do this together.”

As she hits the remote locking button, she is already pulling me towards the house.

With the front door closing behind us, she calls out as my nerves begin to kick in, desperately trying to find an explanation for my return home so early, possibly even at all tonight and definitely minus Dec.

“Hi.”

We enter the lounge and find my parents sat in front of the TV. They both turn and while my mum frowns, Dad seems to be searching behind us.

“Just the two of you?” I think that’s his tactful way of asking where Dec is. His expression changes to one of suspicion.

Here we go.

“Yeah.” Liv doesn’t seem to miss a beat. “There was some problem at the club, so Mase has gone with Dec to sort it out.”

“Is everything okay?” Mum asks.

“Yeah, nothing major. Some problem with a customer having a go at a member of staff, and the police being involved or something, but Dec was in a hurry, so we didn’t get details. We offered to tag along, but you know what Mase is like, especially with a baby on board.” She points to her belly. “Anyway, Dec wasn’t sure how long he’d be…”

“Which is why I thought I may as well come home.”

Mum and Dad both nod, buying Liv’s story completely and my few words of explanation for being home.

“You staying for a cup of tea, Liv?” Mum is already on her feet and preparing to put the kettle on.