Family Affair by Elle M Thomas

Chapter 20

 

Declan

 

I love her. The words are out and there’s no taking them back, even if I want to.

Watching her, I see a small grin already spreading across her face. All thoughts of anyone who isn’t me and her are gone for now. In this moment, this magical moment, it is just the two of us and I won’t let anything or anyone spoil it.

“Please say something,” I mutter, but this time my words are a plea laced with fear rather than anger.

“You love me.”

I stare at her and with a half-smile, shake my head. “I was hoping for something different to that, but yes, I love you.”

“You love me,” she repeats, her grin broadening.

“We have established that several times already.”

Suddenly, her smile drops.

“What?” Panic is in my voice now as I wonder if she has realised that my feelings are in no way reciprocated.

“Does loving me make you sad or angry?”

I think back to my strange mood of just minutes before and know that is what is behind this question.

“Of course not.” I step closer and reach for her wrist, pulling her towards me. “I mean, it wasn’t something I planned, and it confuses me in many ways.”

She nods. “Confuses you?”

I nod back at her.

“It scares me, Dec, my feelings…” her voice trails off.

Maybe I should say something, give a little here to reassure her in some way that I share her fears and probably those of everyone who has ever fallen in love.

She continues before I can say anything. “We don’t know each other, not really, and what if we hurt each other, or ourselves?”

“Oh, Cupcake, you’re not saying anything I haven’t already thought. We can get to know each other…talk.”

We both laugh knowing that our conversations have so often turned into banter and sexual innuendo that has inevitably turned into sex. Hot sex, but still sex. And this is why I have avoided serious relationships with feelings and all the associated shit that comes with it.

“I am shit scared of hurting you. I am more scared of being hurt, to be honest, so, as much as it would hurt for you to opt out now—” I stop, unsure what I am saying or how this will turn out.

“Go on, please.”

I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly before continuing. “If you don’t feel the same or don’t want to run the risk of getting hurt, I respect it. In fact, I would much rather you pull the plaster off now than for it to be done six months down the road.”

She looks stunned. I am stunned. I had no idea any of that was going to get spewed by me, but now that it has, well, it really can’t be taken back.

“I don’t doubt that the sensible thing to do would be to call it quits, or even revert back to no strings sex.”

She knows as well as I do, we can’t do that. I say nothing but shake my head. Now that I have these fucking feelings involved it must be all or nothing for me. I don’t do anything else.

“Okay, so we either call it quits or jump in with both feet?”

“Yeah.”

Her grin is back, and I feel as though the breath I have just exhaled has been held in for far too long.

With my hand still holding her wrist, her free hand reaches up and she tilts my head to look down at the ground between us. I’m confused as to what there is to see until she does the tiniest of two footed jumps.

“Both feet, Stud.”

My eyes are back on hers now, the reality of what we have just agreed to kicking in for real now.

I instinctively lean in to kiss her but before my lips find hers, she speaks. “I. Bloody. Love. You. Too.”

Her use of my own punctuated declaration of bloody love fills my heart with joy and I feel as though I am soaring off the ground. Her arms wrap around me, and she pulls me closer.

“Now, kiss me.”

“With fucking pleasure.”

I need no further encouragement and before either of us can do or say anything else, I am taking her in my arms, kissing her, worshipping her, counting my lucky stars for her, and loving her.

 

~~~

 

It’s a couple of hours later, as we sit in the kitchen eating omelettes that I broach the subject of Christian, and hope that I am not about to burst the happy little bubble we’ve built around ourselves.

“Christian—”

She cuts me off, but I can see by her face that there’s something between them. My suspicions were clearly correct.

“We were involved.”

I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t fucking that.

“Involved?” I am verbally and physically bristling.

“Yes, involved, like you and the temptress twins and goodness knows who else.”

Her reprimand is delivered calmly and her point hits home. Whatever was between them is in the past and is no more than my own previous involvements.

“Sorry. Go on.”

She looks nervous, scared almost and that causes my anger to rise again, but it’s not aimed at her. My wrath is firmly directed at Christian.

“When I was at university, I worked in a bar. This man came in and we chatted, flirted and started seeing each other. I thought we were embarking on an actual relationship, and he allowed me to believe that.”

“He didn’t see it as an actual relationship?”

She shakes her head and I have a strong urge to punch Christian, although, my conscience points out that I have been in that position on multiple occasions where a girl has seen things between us far more seriously than I have, not that I have ever encouraged that.

“I thought he did and as I say, he allowed me to continue in that belief. Long story short—he was married with kids. I had no clue about that until the end and felt awful to have been the other woman, even if I thought I was the only woman.”

“Fuck!” I hadn’t thought the voices in my head this far through, having somehow assumed Anita and Christian must have known each other before he became involved with my stepsister, but then, the maths didn’t exactly work out when I considered it now.

“Needless to say, he wasn’t very happy to see me in your mum’s kitchen.”

“Motherfucker! Did he do anything? Threaten you?” I am certain he will have said plenty of unpleasant things to her and having seen how openly hostile he is to Liv, her relationship to Anita is only likely to have made him worse.

She shrugs, confirming he was an arsehole. “I’m not what you might call his favourite person. It was unpleasant at the time and it’s still that way.”

I reach across the counter we’re on opposite sides of and pick her hand up, gently landing a kiss to her knuckles. “We don’t have much to do with him, especially not since he turned on Liv, but I won’t sit silently by if he treats you badly.”

“You don’t need to rescue me.”

“Maybe not.” I grin across at her. “But I will. Always.”

She stretches up on the stool she’s sitting on, leaning over until her lips are almost against mine and then she pauses. “For a man whore you are incredibly romantic.”

I grab her head, pulling her closer until our lips mesh. “Let’s see how romantic you think I am when I make you scream my fucking name as you come.”

 

Anita

 

The weeks since Dec and I admitted our feelings passed by smoothly and there have been zero interactions with Christian, who I now know without doubt was not and had never been called Tristan. That had just been another layer of his deception.

I pace the floor, waiting for Dec to finish getting ready for our night out. We are meeting with my family to break the news of us. I am clueless about how my family will react. Liv will be there and undoubtedly soften any blows that come my way and will intervene to lighten things up if our dad gets a little terse about things. Of course, with Liv and her now obvious pregnant belly, comes Mase who will certainly have Dec’s back if things become unpleasant. I am overthinking things with thoughts of unpleasantness.

“You all set, Cupcake,” Dec says, coming up behind me to pull me in for a warm embrace.

I spin and smile at the sight of him in well fitted black suit trousers and a white shirt that has the top couple of buttons undone. God, he looks amazing and so effortlessly stylish too.

“You look like you should be on the cover of a magazine.”

He rolls his eyes. “And this dress.” He tugs at the tie of the dark denim wrap dress I am wearing. “Looks like it should be on the bedroom floor.”

“Cheesy.”

My accusation is greeted with a shrug.

“Okay, let me try again. You would look better on the end of my dick.”

I smack his chest this time.

“Fuck me! I will never understand women. I give you cheesy, you don’t like it. I give you romance and that’s wrong!”

I roar with laughter. “That was many things, but none of them were romance.”

“We need to go, or we’ll be the last to arrive and Mase will be getting all tetchy at trying to keep a secret.”

I laugh, knowing he is right, especially when I consider how he outed Liv’s pregnancy in the middle of dad making a birthday toast for my mum.

 

~~~

 

I feel nervous for us both as we stand at the entrance to the restaurant. My breathing is heavy, and I am trying not to hyperventilate. I have no idea why I am this nervous, apart from the fact that my dad openly disapproves of Dec and what he perceives as his poor man’s Hugh Hefner lifestyle, oh, and because I have never brought a boyfriend home. Not unless you count Matthew Mitchell when I was fourteen-years-old. That might be a good reason for my nervousness because my brothers were dickheads to him and my dad was embarrassingly threatening, ridiculously so considering he was the same age as me.

“Let’s do this.” Dec is already leading me through the door and across the restaurant to where my family are.

The raised eyebrows and knowing glances confirm that everyone except for my dad has got the message that us arriving together, my hand in Dec’s, means he is the boyfriend I am introducing them all to. My dad seems to be holding court, gesturing and laughing as he tells some story.

We come to stand alongside my mum who smiles up at us while Mase gets to his feet to greet us, unlike my brothers who grin at us. My stepbrother, Scott, looks uncomfortable as he nods in our direction. Liv springs to her feet and rushes to hug me before kissing Dec, and that seems to be when Dad notices who I am with.

He scowls silently, then, a little reluctantly, accepts the hand Dec offers him.

“Sit down, everyone. Lovely to see you again, Declan,” my mum says, setting about easing the obvious tension.

The vacant seats for us are situated next to Liv and Scott. Dec takes the seat next to my sister and just one place away from his brother while I settle between Dec and Scott.

The whole experience is a little surreal and although everyone makes conversation, my dad’s relatively quiet and when I look up, I find his attention is on me or Dec.

My mum is aware of it too, and she keeps trying to distract my dad with conversation, but her attempts aren’t what you could call successful.

“Are you going to find out the gender of the baby?” Is one of her attempts to deflect attention from us.

Mase looks at Liv, who shrugs. “We haven’t really decided. Neither of us mind if it’s a boy or a girl so there’s no real need to know.”

Mum nods.

“What about a baby shower?” Dad asks. “They’re all the rage.”

I stifle a giggle, unsure if he was a fan of such occasions, although we have catered a few.

“What?” He looks affronted when my brothers and Scott laugh, especially when the latter makes a guffaw noise.

“A baby shower, really? They’re just an excuse for people to get extra gifts and to show all of their friends on social media how great their life is, even if it is going to shit behind the scenes.”

His final comment silences everyone, except for Mase. “I take your point and respect your opinion.”

Dec and I exchange a glance knowing that he probably doesn’t respect his opinion and there is a but on the way.

“But…”

Dec and I smile at each other now.

“Neither Liv nor I are big on social media and even if we were, our life would be great, on there and behind the scenes.”

Scott shakes his head, unbothered by Mase getting huffy and in fairness to him, his words weren’t really directed at Liv and Mase, of that, I am sure.

“Oh, and we don’t need anyone to buy things for our child, now or in the future.”

“That’s a no to the baby shower then,” says Dec with a huge, cheeky grin.

Everyone laughs, even Mase.

We’re onto dessert when my dad can hold it in no more and addresses the subject of me and Dec. “You two, are together then, seeing each other?”

I nod and smile.

Dec smiles too. “Yes, very much together.”

“And how long has this been going on?” Dad sounds a little terse now.

I could kiss Dec now as he looks to me, deferring to me, allowing me to dictate the information being shared with my family, and I suspect he’s happy to let me lie and say we are new, if that’s what I want. I don’t want that.

“It’s been a few months. Quite a few months. We started talking when Mase and Liv got engaged.”

Dec looks hot under the collar at my reference to that meeting, and we did talk even if it was mainly Dec and his dirty talk.

“What?” Dad is raising his voice and drawing some attention from nearby diners. “Is he the one that was sending you home in the previous night’s clothes at all hours.”

I am shocked at just how angry he is about us being together at all, but his tone at the memory of my walk of shame brings out his most severe annoyance. I feel Dec stiffen beside me and know he is pissed off, possibly more because it wasn’t him.

“No, I was not the one sending her home at all hours,” Dec snaps. “She said we started talking then, not that we started sleeping together.”

My dad is now a very strange shade of red and my mum looks awkward. I see Liv nudge Mase as if encouraging him to say or do something. He shakes his head and seems to have no intention of involving himself. My brothers look between my boyfriend and my dad as they bat the conversation back and forth. Scott looks down into his lap and shakes his head, if only to himself.

“It took us a little while to realise we were serious about each other, but as Cupc— Anita,” he corrects himself. “As Anita said, we have been involved for a few months.”

My dad, who is being a bit of a dick now, rolls his eyes then looks around the table. “I assume you two knew.” He points at Liv and Mase.

They nod, making no apologies or anything else.

Dad looks around the table again. “Anybody else?”

My brothers and mum shake their heads while Scott says nothing.

“Scott?” Dad is now on his feet, and I swear he’s about to lose his shit.

“Leave me out of it,” Scott replies. “She is an adult. They both are, so let them make adult decisions.”

My dad looks confused. “Anita doesn’t understand…she was sheltered…she needs help and guidance—”

Scott stands too. He laughs, but it’s hard and full of hurt and sadness. “No wonder Raymond wanted you out of the way. There can only ever be enough room for one abusive, asshole, dictator.”

I look to Liv, wanting her to stop this. Raymond was hers and Scott’s stepfather who was the head of the weird church and in different ways he abused them both.

“Scott.” Liv reaches across and takes his hand.

“What?” he asks. “Tell me he doesn’t sound like him with his opinions being more important than anyone else’s and his need to help and guide the rest of us, Anita, because she clearly isn’t capable of making her own choices, especially not if he doesn’t approve of them.”

Everyone falls silent until Dec speaks again. “We didn’t come here to ask for permission or approval. We’re together. It would be nice if you supported it, but if you don’t the only people you’ll hurt will be yourself and Anita.”

“Nigel, sit down.” My mum looks well pissed off with Dad now. “Dec’s right and although I would never compare you to that awful man, I can understand why Scott may have said what he did.” She turns to Scott who is still standing, his hand still in Liv’s. “Please, Scott, sit down.”

He does.

“So, no baby shower, in case there was any doubt.” Mase’s dry delivery makes everyone laugh, albeit briefly.