Family Affair by Elle M Thomas
Chapter 27
Declan
Here I am kneeling on the floor in the restaurant, surrounded by our closest family members with an engagement ring in my hand while Anita simply stares down at me. I am hot, sweating and that is partly down to the heat of the room but more to do with the panic that she has yet to answer me.
My heart is hammering away in my chest, and I swear if she doesn’t put me out of my misery soon with a response, I am going to vomit. Panic is beginning to surge within me, causing me to take a succession of deep breaths.
Why the fuck did I choose to do it this way? I should have made this a private moment to allow her to say no. Instead, I invited everyone here to witness the magical moment of my proposal and Anita’s subsequent acceptance and desire to be my wife. Briefly, my mind goes to Amber, my last proposal—that worked out so well for me, didn’t it? I can’t believe that I have put myself in this position and opened myself up to another rejection. The last one was bad enough, so much so that I barely survived it and I know that my feelings for Anita and the future I want with her are far more than those I had for Amber. If she says no—if she rejects me, I won’t survive it, not this time. The truth there is that if she rejects me, I won’t want to survive.
The knee I am down on is going to sleep and the other leg feels as though it is seizing up, and that along with what I am sure is the sound of tumbleweed blowing around me is enough for me to prepare to stand up and end this painfully long moment for all of us. With a final glance up at Anita, I see tears welling in her eyes while her lip begins to quiver. Is she sad? Has my proposal saddened her or is this one of those moments were what we associate with sadness is the opposite? My gaze is fixed on hers and in that moment, I am frozen to the spot, all thoughts of getting up gone.
I watch on as her lips begin to move and as I see them making the shapes of sounds, I hear nothing. This is what I imagine it feels like when you have been subjected to an unprotected loud noise, like a rocket taking off or a bomb exploding. Then, as if rain clouds lifting to make way for the sunshine, her voice breaks through the fuzziness of my mind.
“Yes.”
I stare and although I think I heard correctly, I’m not sure. I need confirmation. “What?”
She laughs as do others around the table. I hear Mase mutter something about me being a dickhead.
“Yes,” Anita repeats.
There is no planning or thought that goes into the next seconds. I am sliding the ring on her finger and rather than getting to my feet and pulling her to hers, I am reaching for her to pull her into my lap where I hold her tight, then allow her to sit back slightly, allowing me to brush her hair back before tenderly cupping her face and pulling it back in to kiss her. Gently, unrushed and loving rather than passionate.
Eventually, we are on our feet and receiving the congratulations of everyone around us. The whole family seem genuinely pleased for us, even Nigel, although that might be because I asked his permission a few days before. I thought he might like the idea of me deferring to him and somehow letting him think he had any say in this. The truth is that I hadn’t fully thought that idea through until I was telling Mase who had asked what I would do if Nigel said no. I hadn’t even considered that despite him still not being overly keen on me being his daughter’s boyfriend. If he had said no my proposal would not have been as public and possibly not tonight, but there is no doubt in my mind that I would still have proposed to Anita and now I am even more certain that she would have said yes.
Liv leans in and kisses me, congratulates me but it sounds less than happy, almost sympathetic. She stretches across me to look at Anita’s hand. She gushes over the ring, but that’s as far as it goes and then she sits back down. What the fuck is her problem? Before I debate asking her just that, Mase is giving me a hug and a back slap as he repeats his earlier dickhead comment and something about thinking Anita was going to say no. We both laugh until I make a dig about the fact that Liv turned down his proposal first time. At that point I am the only one laughing but I couldn’t give a fuck because this is the best night of my life and only the beginning of my life with Anita as my fiancée and then my wife.
Scott, Liv’s brother shakes my hand and mutters words of congratulations, but it sounds a little lacklustre. Soon enough, he takes the seat next to Liv and watching them together, I can see they each look uncomfortable. It’s then I decide that their reactions are down to the fact they’re both Carringtons and as such were in that freaky church, so it must be that causing their underwhelmed behaviour.
With greetings and words of happiness all exchanged, we take our seats again where mine and Anita’s mothers waste no time in discussing plans. dresses, flowers, colour schemes, venues and dates. All things I hadn’t really considered. I look towards my brother who seems to know this judging by the grin he is aiming at me. His attention only leaves me when Liv releases a low grumble whilst rubbing a hand across her belly.
“You okay there?” Mase sounds concerned.
“Yeah. The baby is just lying in an awkward position I think.”
“You’re sure?” My mother is preparing to get up from her seat. To do what, I’m not too sure.
Liv waves her concerns away. “Absolutely. It’s those practice contraction things too.”
“Braxton Hicks,” my sister, Bethy, throws in.
“Yeah, that’s them. They’re worse at night and have been breaking my sleep a little.” She yawns. “In fact, it’s about an hour past my bedtime.”
Mase is already on his feet, congratulating me again, before offering Anita his genuine and heartfelt commiserations. Yet, I am the dickhead.
I smile at his teasing before he turns back to his wife. “Right then, Mrs Harding, let’s get you and junior home to bed before you fall asleep at the table.”
“How weird is that? You two—” I point between Anita and Liv, “are not blood sisters and yet, once we marry, you’ll have the same name.”
Everyone laughs at my observation, everyone except Liv. She looks uncomfortable and in a weird way, I’m hoping that’s because she is suffering with pregnancy aches and pains.
Anita
My mind is actually blown and not just because of Dec’s proposal. I am lying sprawled out beneath him, panting heavily as he pushes me towards my release. We have been all over each other since we left the restaurant.
There had been a moment at the restaurant where I considered saying no, but then I realised that I wanted to say yes more than anything in the world. Still the only blot on the landscape is Christian. I know that I need to explain everything to Dec, to make him understand everything that went on, but that scares me shitless because as much as he wants me and loves me, the details I need to share might be the thing that makes him change his mind and leave me, never to return.
I also need to face Liv. Whilst it wasn’t either of our faults that she walked in on Christian’s cruel comments, I have done an amazing job of avoiding her since then. It’s not so much that I feel I can’t speak to her, I know I can, but she will be compromised. Compromised more than she already is. I look at it from her point of view and she really is stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand she has me, her sister who is keeping a secret from her boyfriend, fiancé. I allow myself a small smile at that title. The complication for Liv is that on the other side is the boyfriend, her brother-in-law who she loves but worse than that, she is being forced to keep a secret from her own husband because with all the unknowns in this sorry mess, Mase telling Dec is a certainty.
“Cupcake.”
Dec’s calling to me brings me back to the moment we are in. I reach up and gently stroke his face before sliding my fingers through his hair just as he slams into me again and hits something deep inside that is beyond sensitive.
“Fuck!” I cry as my fingers tighten on the strands of his hair and I give them a hard tug.
“Oww.” He laughs as my fingers loosen their grip on his hair. “You like that then.”
“God, yes. Again,” I plead, already feeling my orgasm building once more and can only hope that this time Dec will let me explore and ride it out fully.
He hits that spot again, then a third and a fourth time and I know the fifth will be my undoing.
“Declan, baby,” I pant out and am rewarded with the fifth strike that sees me crying, thrashing, and reaching for anything I can get my hands on as the world spins off its axis, and everything turns shimmery through my unshed tear glazed vision.
This is perfect, he is perfect, we are perfect, and I need not to fuck this up. I need to make everything right.
Dec’s lips crash against mine and in that second, as intense as our pleasure is, we are making love, the kiss, the way his body worships mine and finally the second our eyes lock as he releases inside me.
~~~
Breakfast proves to be easy and relaxed. We flirt and kiss at every opportunity between eating the French toast and crispy bacon Dec has cooked. I can’t keep the soppy smirk off my face as I realise that this could be my life. That thought sours my mood. I need to sort things out and I am going to start today. Enough is enough. It’s time to be honest and move on. I make a mental list of people to clear the air with, Christian, Liv and then Dec. I choose Dec last, not because he isn’t my priority, he is, but because I need to tell Christian that he doesn’t scare me and I won’t be chased off by him, and Liv because she deserves to hear the truth from me and not to have to keep my secrets. Once I have done that, I will return to Dec and tell him everything, right down to the tiniest detail, and then nothing and nobody can throw a spanner in the works of our future.
“You got much on today?”
I look across at Dec and offer him a short nod. “I thought I might check in with Liv, see how she’s doing.”
“Sounds like a good idea. She has been a bit off.”
I nod. She has, but unlike my boyfriend, I know why.
“What about you?”
“I am meeting Liv and Mase later to discuss money and designs.”
“Nice. Exciting times.”
Dec laughs. “Cupcake, that is some serious understatement you have going on there. I am going to be the captain of an empire!”
I laugh loudly at his excitement and phrasing. He moves to the side of the breakfast bar I am sitting on and tilts my head so I am looking up into his beautiful eyes.
“And you are going to be the captain’s wife.”
I feel a burn in my jaw as my emotions at such a simple declaration tugs at my heartstrings.
“Yes, I am.” My voice wobbles.
“Hey, that’s supposed to make you smile and be happy, not cry.”
He brushes away the single rogue tear that has escaped my eyes.
“I am happy,” I tell him as several more tears fall.
In the blink of an eye, I am on my feet and being engulfed in Dec’s embrace. I feel safe here and hope that never changes.
“I love you,” I manage to splutter.
“I love you, too, even if you are an emotional conundrum.”
Before I can respond, not that I really know what to say to that, Dec continues.
“But then why wouldn’t you be. You have every right to be overwhelmed. You hit the jackpot when you snagged me…I can hear the sound of a million other women’s hearts breaking.
And like that with a friendly smack to his chest, my cocky, arrogant stud has me grounded and laughing.
~~~
I drop a text to Liv and also to Christian, inviting them to meet me. The invitation to Christian was more of a demand than anything and for all his holier than though threats, he has as much to lose as I do if he doesn’t meet with me.
Liv’s reply is short and sweet, agreeing to the time and location. Christian’s takes a while longer to land and is curt to say the least, but as I suspected, he agrees.
All I need to do now is sort things with them before the hardest part, telling Dec.