Highlander’s Frozen Heart by Shona Thompson

Chapter Twenty-Four

“Are you keeping us a secret?”

Magnus looked up from where he was reading a letter that he had written, calling for the support of the neighbouring clans in the case of an attack. He looked at Adelleine, who stood there in front of him, hands on her hips.

“What do ye mean?” he asked her, “Keepin’ us a secret?”

“Yes, Magnus, a secret. You will never tell anyone about us, will you? Am I . . . what am I, precisely, to you? I don’t need you to give me excuses or to tell me that I’m wrong, or to even tell me that you’ll change. All I want is to know what we are.”

Magnus sighed, running a hand through his hair. If he were honest, he wanted to pull his own hair out.

“Is this really the time to talk about this, lass?” he asked her, “I have an attack to plan, I have to make sure that me people are safe. Can we nae talk about this later?”

The truth was that Magnus had, in fact, been keeping his relationship with Adelleine a secret, but he didn’t want to talk about it, and not only because he was busy with other things. He didn’t want to talk about it because he didn’t know how to broach the subject, what to say to her, how to explain his reasoning to her. He was certain that no matter what he said about the two of them, Adelleine would take it the wrong way, and he was convinced that there was nothing to be done other than avoiding the subject altogether.

Of course, that had backfired, just as Magnus had expected, but it was still somehow easier to be having that argument, instead of the kind of argument that they would be having if he told her the truth.

He didn’t know how he could possibly explain their relationship to anyone, especially to Fergus. Besides, it was still too early to do such a thing as to go public with their relationship.

Had he been anyone else, he would have no problem with the entire world knowing that he and Adelleine were together. He would even scream it proudly from the rooftops, making sure that everyone knew that she was his.

He was the laird of his clan, though, and he had a young child who had already lost his mother, and who seemed to adore Adelleine. If things didn’t work out between them, then not only would Fergus be devastated, but it would also be a scandal that would rock the entire clan.

Hendry and Isla weren’t the only ones who were too invested in his love life, after all. The entire clan seemed to care much more than Magnus would like them to care, but there was nothing that he could do about it.

He could only keep his relationship with Adelleine a secret.

“Well . . . I suppose you do have more important things to do, then,” Adelleine huffed, looking very displeased with Magnus, “Do you . . . just answer me this, are we even anything? Is there anything more than . . . more than our . . . intimate moments between us? Because that is what I don’t understand, Magnus. I don’t understand what you think we are.”

“Of course there is something between us, Adelleine,” Magnus said, “I’ve told ye how I feel about ye. I’ve told ye time and time again. Just because I dinnae wish for everyone to ken about it, it doesnae mean that it isnae there.”

“Ha!” Adelleine exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at Magnus, “So you don’t want anyone to know about us. Well . . . that is all the answer that I needed.”

Magnus groaned, wishing that he had never opened his mouth to speak in the first place. He always seemed to say the wrong thing, not just to Adelleine, but to everyone.

Magnus stood and approached her, placing a hand on her shoulder even as she pulled back from him. He wrapped his arms around her to stop her from going any further, and then pressed a kiss on her forehead.

“Forgive me,” he said, “I have me reasons. I . . . I dinnae wish for Fergus to ken, nae yet. Soon, but nae yet. Do ye understand, Adelleine? It’s for him.”

Adelleine seemed to deflate at that, the fight draining out of her. She sighed and gave him a small nod, letting Magnus hold her without trying to get away from him.

“I understand,” she assured him, “Perhaps . . . perhaps you’re right. Perhaps he shouldn’t find out just yet. Whatever you think is best for him, Magnus. As long as Fergus is alright.”

It wasn’t the only reason that Magnus had, but it was the one that he could give Adelleine, while being certain that she would understand. She always put Fergus first, and even though telling her that he was the reason was a little deceiving, it wasn’t a lie.

Magnus pulled himself away from Adelleine, but not before he gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. Then, he walked back to his chair, eager to throw himself right back into planning the clan’s defences and the attack.

“Forgive me, Adelleine,” he said. “I cannae speak to ye right noo. We can speak later, once all this is over, but right noo I have too much work to do. I have to think of my clan.”

Adelleine gave him a look that Magnus couldn’t quite decipher, but then she nodded, much to his relief.

“Very well,” she said. “You’re right . . . you’re right, the clan comes first. I will leave you to your work.”

Adelleine left the room, but even when the door closed behind her, Magnus couldn’t quite concentrate on his plans anymore. His mind was filled with all sorts of scenarios, most of them involving the end of his relationship with Adelleine because he was too much of a coward to let it be known.

It did him no good, thinking about such things. He had to concentrate on what was most important in that moment, his duty to the clan. So, he called Hendry and the rest of his men to his study, hoping that it would help him concentrate, and after a while, Adelleine was no longer on his mind. Instead, he was thinking about tactics, about strategies, about what the odds of beating the MacForfin clan were.

In the end, he had to admit that the meeting had been productive, and it had kept his mind off the argument. Once he was back in his chambers, though, trying to get some rest that night, he tossed and turned in his bed, unable to stop moving, to get comfortable, or to fall asleep like he should be doing. He simply couldn’t take Adelleine out of his mind. She was there, demanding to know the truth, and wishing that their relationship would be known to the world, that she wouldn’t be a secret anymore.

But Magnus couldn’t do that for her. He couldn’t give her what she wanted.