Treating a Sinful Earl by Henrietta Harding
Chapter 7
In the carriage ride home, Jasper wished to finally reveal to Fenton his fondness for Catherine. But to do so properly, he would have to use discretion and not give away his true ardour.
“What do you know of Lady Trowbridge?”
Fenton lifted his brow. “Why do you inquire?”
“She is rather lovely, in my estimation. But alas, she refused to dance with me.”
“Ha! The only lady in Britain that would refuse to dance with you. What was her excuse?”
“She said that she was an abominable dancer and that was that. We enjoyed pleasant conversation on the veranda,” Jasper shared.
“Yes, I think that you were outside with her for well over an hour. My friend, I must say that I am surprised. Lady Trowbridge is rather quiet. Few in society know of her, and I did not take you for one that prefers the quiet type.”
“She opens up quickly. She is merely shy, that is all. In all honesty, I find it transfixing. She has no need to put on airs. Catherine is remarkably genuine, and I find that very appealing, indeed.”
That was more than he planned on saying. Jasper had just admitted to Felton that he was fond of her. Now, he would probably never live it down and Felton would make fun of him for the rest of the evening, which was coming to a close anyhow.
“I suppose that it does make sense,” Felton went on. “There are similarities there. You, as well, can be quiet when you are in the company of many. But in the company of few, you light up the room. Perhaps this is what you are attracted to in the lady.”
Jasper considered these words. Yes, there was a very good chance that he saw something of himself in Catherine. Neither of them cared for society, but the great difference was that Catherine was in need of a husband and Jasper was in no need of a wife.
Or was he?
“I can vouch for her beauty,” Felton added. “But it is a different beauty than Abigail’s. Abigail is wrapped up like a gorgeous package, where Catherine is…how do I say it?”
“Simple. Plain. Beautiful.”
There was recognition in Felton’s gaze, as though he could see right through Jasper’s ardency. “Yes, all of those things. It all comes down to a matter of taste. I like a great deal of embellishment in a lady, and you do not. That much is plain.”
For the life of him, Jasper could not understand why Felton cared for such embellishment. To Jasper, embellishment was hiding something, where it seemed that Catherine had nothing to hide.
His stomach flipped as he recalled the moment when he felt faint. Never had that happened in the presence of a lady before. Was Jasper so comfortable around her that he was able to show her that vulnerability? But alas, he regretted that it had ever happened. He did not wish for Catherine to see his weakness, but he felt in good hands when she came to his aid. In fact, it attracted him to her even further.
“I already knew of your fondness,” Felton shared.
“What do you mean?”
“The evening that you invited the lady to your estate for supper. It was evident then.”
Jasper tensed his jaw. “Then why did you not mention it?”
“Because I know that you value your privacy, old chap. That is the reason why.”
Hmm. Felton did know him all too well. “How did you fare with Abigail this evening?” he asked, quickly changing the subject.
“I am unsure.” Felton turned downcast. “It is so hard to decipher the lady.”
“I would surmise that that is the point,” Jasper said with a laugh.
“But why must it be so difficult? Why can men not simply pick out the object of their affection and be done with it? This game between men and women is exhausting, and it seems to be continuous.”
Jasper could not help but feel bad for Felton. Yes, love could be a game if that was one’s intention. Also, it could be as simple as Felton described. For Jasper, all that he wanted was simplicity, as well. Nothing was worse than having to chase after someone in vain, and if his instincts spoke to him correctly, it could be simple with Catherine.
But what was the blasted point! His health was so ill that there was no sense in pursuing anyone. Yet again, that conviction arose in Jasper, and he reminded himself that it truly did matter. That it mattered whether he chose to embrace life or not. The moments that lay before him were far too precious to banish, and if he wished to spend the rest of those days with a lady, then so be it. Perhaps, love could even heal him….
“Catherine makes tinctures,” he abruptly said, reminding himself of her rare talent.
“Tinctures, you say?”
“Indeed. Healing concoctions.”
“Does she have a potion to heal your beating heart, for I am not under the impression that it beats wildly for her?”
Jasper rolled his eyes. He had just mentioned his fondness, and now Felton was speaking of love. What was love, anyhow? Jasper had never been in love before, and he was unsure what the sensation might be. But considering the rush of energy and enthusiasm that he felt each time he spoke of Catherine, Jasper was left to wonder if perhaps that was the very nature of love.
“This is nonsense,” he said, waving his hand in the air. “There is no sense in speaking of this any further. I shall arrange a dinner at my home for Catherine to attend. You can send an invitation to Abigail if you wish.”
“And what of Selina? I am sure that she will feel left out,” Felton offered.
Jasper had to consider this. It was strange the way in which Selina had ventured off and never returned. He assumed that it was to give he and Catherine privacy, which he was grateful for.
The carriage finally arrived at his estate, and Felton’s home was close by. The two friends parted, and Jasper alighted from the coach, looking up at his vast estate in admiration. He sincerely hoped that Catherine would be impressed by it, and that it would bring a smile to her lips, as the Duke of Brighton’s estate had done.
Upon entering the foyer, Jasper passed the parlour and discovered the Dowager Countess seated there, a cup of tea by her side. “You are home early, my son.”
Jasper stepped in, unfastening his coat, and removing his hat. “I did not feel well.”
She frowned and shook her head. “Jasper, perhaps you are pushing yourself too hard. I do not like to think that you are damaging your health in some way by going out into society so often. That was the second time in one week!”
“Mother, rest assured that the exertion is causing no harm. The harm is already done.” He seated himself and gazed into the fire, which the Dowager Countess always had lit because she often complained of being cold, even when the weather was favourable.
“We must see another doctor. Surely, there is some remedy that we have not yet tried.”
“It is no use. I am the way I am.”
“Stop saying such things!” she exclaimed. “It is not like you to give up on hope.”
“No, I still enjoy a good challenge.” He fiddled with his pocket watch as he spoke. “And this is certainly a challenge for the ages.”
His mother sighed and sipped her tea. After she put it back down, she said, “You overcome every challenge. I have seen it in the past. This situation is no different. There is a way to free yourself of this, but it seems as though at every turn you resign yourself to the malignancy.”
Jasper fell silent. Was it true that he was resigning himself to his illness? Certainly, he wished to be free of it, but countless doctors had informed him that there was nothing to be done. He was no medical expert and could not imagine carrying on seeing more doctors when so many opinions had corroborated the same diagnosis.
“Let us speak of other affairs,” Jasper went on. “I became faint at the ball, and there was a rather charming lady there to assist me.”
His mother seemed shocked by this, for her brows went up. “Is that so? How did she assist you?”
“She procured water and waited by my side until the fit had passed. She did not judge me in the least.”
“Oh, Jasper. Do you still believe that others will judge you for this? Headstrong boy.”
“Naturally, they will judge. It is not my desire to be considered the ‘sick earl’ wherever I go. I wish for my freedom, and to achieve that, I must rely on secrecy. It is the only way.”
“You have not told Mr Andrews as you promised?” she added with a hushed tone.
“No, Felton does not know, and I shall keep it that way. He is too dear of a friend. I do not wish for him to have the aforementioned impression of me.”
“He would understand, my son.”
“It matters not!” Jasper exclaimed, his tone far too loud for his own liking. The conversation filled him with frustration, and he did not wish to speak of it any further. “The lady that helped me this evening, she said that she uses tinctures to heal those who are afflicted with different maladies.”
The Dowager Countess gave a wry smile. “And you think that would help? Oh, Jasper, I do not believe in such things. I think that it is the lady herself that you are interested in more than her tinctures.”
His mother’s tone was rather suggestive to his ear. Yes, perhaps it was now abundantly clear that he was fond of Catherine. Felton could see it, and now his own mother. What was he to do?
“She was a charming lady,” he assured her. “I have the mind to invite her over for supper.”
It was the first time that he had seen his mother light up in some time. “That is marvellous news.”
“Do not become overly enthusiastic. There is no telling what the future holds for me, and I merely enjoy her company. I feel confident that you shall approve.”
When he turned to look at his mother, she was grinning from ear to ear. Oh, he wished that she was not getting her hopes up. He, himself, did not know what Catherine’s feelings were for him and it was far too soon to conclude. And what’s more, it was a complicated situation with much to explain.
But the concern in her eyes when she watched him feel faint! It was disarming, to say the least. She had shown the utmost care and when Jasper had said that he did not wish to discuss it further, Catherine complied out of respect to him. At least, that was how it seemed at the time. If only she knew how much that had meant to him. It compelled Jasper to respect her wishes in all things, as well.
Then, he became envious. Catherine was in good health and had her entire life ahead of her. His outlook was much more grim. If only he could be of sound body as she was, then there would be no end to his pursuit of her. But things being as they were, Jasper would have to be slow and careful, and discover within his own mind whether it was right to pull Catherine into such a situation.
How could he ever have the heart to tell her? How could he tell this new personage that had come into his life that he did not have long to live?
Jasper’s illness was now all too real, what with the notion that he had much to live for.