Alpha Gray by C.J. Primer

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Fallon

Gray’s words hit me like a ton of bricks, knocking all of the air out of my body.

He kicked me out?!

My eyes swim with tears as I turn tail and run from the dining hall back to the barracks, overwhelmed by the enormous sense of loss I feel. The loss of my dream to make the squad, the loss of Gray. It’s too much. As soon as I reach the barracks, I can’t hold it back anymore and I burst into tears. I’m half blinded by them as I make my way to my bunk, stooping down to pull my suitcase out from underneath.

My whole body hurts- it’s like the gut-wrenching pain of Gray’s words is manifesting physically. It feels like there’s an empty hole in my chest where my hope used to reside. My body is wracked with sobs as I unzip my suitcase, flinging it open. I stomp around to the little open closet at the end of the bunk, pull on a t-shirt and shorts, and start yanking my clothes off of the hangers and throwing them into the open suitcase on the floor.

Boyd and Davis come running into the barracks, but I can’t even lift my head to look at them. I don’t want them seeing me beat down like this. I don’t want them seeing me cry. I continue hurling my clothes into the suitcase.

Boyd approaches, sliding his body between me and my closet and wrapping his arms around me. “Hey…” he soothes, and I just bury my face into his chest, sobbing harder. Davis comes up beside us and reaches out to stroke my back.

“It’s gonna be okay…” Davis reassures, his voice gentle.

“No it isn’t,” I cry into Boyd’s chest. I’m so worked up that my whole body is trembling. I pull back, wriggling out of Boyd’s embrace.

I look from Boyd to Davis, their eyes wide and filled with sympathy, and try to grasp at some semblance of composure. I wipe at my nose with a forearm- I’ve been crying so hard that it’s running- and brush the tears from my cheeks with my hands.

“He kicked me out…” I manage, but my voice sounds strangled.

Davis reaches out to stroke my back again. “Maybe you can talk to them once things calm down, see if they’ll reconsider?” he suggests.

I just shake my head, looking down as my eyes well up with tears again.

“What can we do to help?” Boyd asks, and I jerk my head up to look at him. He’s a good friend, but even he knows that there’s no fixing this problem. I fucked up, and the consequences are mine to deal with.

“I…” I breathe shakily, looking from Boyd to Davis. “I need to see Brooke.”

“I think she went back to the barracks, she was leaving the dining hall when I was coming in,” Davis says.

I nod, sniffling. “Okay.” My voice is small.

I look from Boyd to Davis again, then throw an arm around each of their necks, pulling them in. “Thanks, guys.”

They hug me back and the pain in my chest eases, albeit slightly, in response to their warmth. I may not have the squad anymore, but at least I’ve got my friends.

I head toward the locker room that connects the recruits’ barracks to the squad dorms. As I push through the door, I glance back at Davis and Boyd. Davis is stooping to grab some of my things off of the floor, tossing them into my suitcase. I guess if they can’t help me fix my fuck-up, they’ll at least help me pack.

I pass through the locker room and push open the door to the squad barracks on the other side. I still feel like I’m in a state of shock. I can’t believe I’m getting kicked out.

It takes me a few minutes to find the door with Brooke’s name on it, and when I do, I test the handle and it’s locked. I raise my hand to knock and I hear Brooke call out from inside in response.

“Brookie?” I choke, sagging against the door. I hear quick footsteps from inside and the door flies open, a wide-eyed Brooke on the other side.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, and I just fall into her arms, sobbing.

Brooke pulls my body in close to hers, stroking my back soothingly. She just lets me cry for a minute, then pulls away, pushing the door closed behind me.

“What happened?” she asks, reaching forward to tuck my hair behind my ears.

I just shake my head. I can’t even find the words. Brooke’s eyes are wide behind her black-framed glasses and she leans forward, pressing her forehead against mine and draping her arms over my shoulders. “Tell me, Fal…”

“He kicked me out,” I sniffle.

“What?” Brooke pulls back, staring at me in disbelief. She takes my arm, walks me over to her bed, and we both sink down onto the edge.

Then I tell her everything. What Hannah said, how I reacted, and how my wolf took matters into her own hands. I tell her what Gray said, and how Boyd and Davis offered to help, though nothing they could do or say would make any difference.

Brooke just listens, tries to soothe me. She wipes the dried blood from my knuckles and chin, cleaning me up a little. Once I’ve calmed down and it feels like I don’t have any tears left inside of me to cry, Brooke goes straight into problem solving mode.

“I think you need to go talk to Alpha Gray,” she suggests. “Admit you messed up and beg him for another chance.”

I shake my head firmly. “You didn’t see how mad he was. There’s no way he’ll give me another chance. I blew it.” As I say the words, the gnawing in the pit of my stomach returns. I not only blew things with the squad, I blew it with him, too.

“You have to try. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? He can’t kick you out twice.”

I swallow hard. My throat feels like sandpaper. “Okay,” I whisper. “I’ll try.”

Brooke leans forward, wrapping me in a tight hug. It feels so good to be near her. No matter what happens, being close to my twin always makes it better. The burden is lighter when I have her to share it with.

“His room’s at the end of the hall, last one on the left,” she mumbles into my hair.

I don’t want to let go of my sister, but I finally do, finding my footing and standing up. I head toward the door, but before I open it to leave, I turn back to Brooke.

“Thank you,” I say, wiping at my cheeks again. I probably look like a mess. “I love you.”

Brooke offers me a sympathetic smile. “No matter what.”

It’s how we’ve always responded to each other’s ‘I love you’ since we were kids- a qualifier that we came up with to reassure each other that no matter what happened, no matter how we fought or how angry we might get with each other, we’ll always still love each other. Just hearing the familiar response raises my spirits a little. It gives me the confidence to face Gray.

“No matter what.”