Wilde by Abby Brooks
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Amy
“What the hell just happened?” The words keep falling out of my mouth as I drive away. I went to Leo’s house to apologize for disappearing on him. To explain why I needed space. To clear the air between us and get a sense of where we stand so we can find a way forward, but he wouldn’t let me a get a word in edgewise. It was like the verbal version of what happened with Avery. My opponent was ruthless, and so much more skilled than I will ever be…
How dare he close the door on my face!
I flip on the blinker and slow the car, waiting for oncoming traffic to clear before I turn. I don’t have the first clue where I’m going. Only that I’m confused. And pissed—definitely pissed. I need to think.
I knew I’d end up hurt if I let myself fall in love with that jerk.
I knew it, but let myself pretend it didn’t matter.
Screw him.
“Wild with an E.” I sneer. “Should’ve been with an A—for asshole.” I nod confidently at the bad joke and fake a smile. So what if I’m falling in love with him. That’s no reason to let myself pretend he was something he’s not.
He’s not boyfriend material.
He’s not father material.
He’s not future material.
Thinking of Leo while I’m behind the wheel reminds me of the cocky answer he always gives when I ask why he loves his car so much. “She’s always there for me when I need to work through shit.” Right now, that feels like exactly what I need. I push hard on the gas pedal. My little Toyota doesn’t respond the way the Scarlet Harlot does but hey, at least I can still hear the radio while I tighten my grip on the wheel and the engine groans it’s disapproval.
My life is such a wreck and I’ve been using Leo as a distraction to keep me from seeing all the ways I’m screwed. I need a job. I can’t live with my dad forever, and I can’t expect him to support me and the baby. I need to find an apartment, or a house to rent, and I need to look into daycare and diapers and all the stuff I don’t have money for because no one in this town wants to hire a pregnant college dropout…but that doesn’t change the fact that I have to do something…
Instead, I’ve been hiding.
Pretending everything was fine when it is so far from fine. Each day I let tick by without figuring out how to take care of myself and this baby is a failure on my part. Leo isn’t the only one with some growing up to do and that truth isn’t one I’m comfortable with.
“Damn it!” I slap the steering wheel and shake my head. “Damn it, damn it, damn it!”
I still don’t know where I’m going, just that I need to keep driving.
The only thing working in my favor is that I’m too confused for tears.