Apathy by L.K. Reid

Ash

I pulled onto the gravelly road, following the GPS to the address Danny sent me. I didn’t go back to school after meeting Indigo, deciding to hang around the town for a bit and explore the area around City Hall.

I wasn’t able to go inside, but the amount of surveillance cameras on the building told me that it would be harder to get in than I initially thought. The Order controlled the entire town, and I guess that it was smart of them to have the area covered, especially if the entrance to the catacombs was there. But I was also sure that there was another way, and I was going to find it.

If I managed to get my hands on the old maps of the town, I’m sure I would be able to find another entrance to the catacombs. If there was an entrance, there must be an exit as well, especially if they were built during the time when people were smuggling things underneath the cities, hiding from the watchful eyes of law enforcement.

It was almost three in the afternoon when Danny called me, telling me to meet them at the old amusement park. They didn’t want to go to the crypt today; too close to school and too dangerous after what happened yesterday. I knew that Skylar found a body in the forest, but I only found out whose body it was after the bartender mentioned it when I was paying for mine and Indigo’s bill.

Megan, the girl that went missing last week, was found by Skylar and Lauren. No one knew who dropped her body there. I didn’t have time to question Skylar about it this morning, and I wasn’t lying—I came because she was avoiding me throughout the week, and that simply wouldn’t work for what we had planned. On the other hand, I wanted to touch her again, to see her, inhale that sweet vanilla scent she carried around.

Some primal part of me wanted her close, even if she was an enemy. I don’t know if she was going to be here today. After what she went through yesterday, I doubted that she would go to school, but maybe I was wrong. Danny didn’t mention who was coming, and I just hoped Kane wouldn’t be there.

After that scene at Lauren’s house, I haven’t seen him around school, but I knew he was there. He was feeling territorial over Skylar, that much was obvious, but what caught my attention was the fact that she wasn’t exactly thrilled to be with him. I didn’t know much about her, apart from the little snippets we were fed over the last couple of years, but she didn’t seem like a sweet and quiet type who would just roll on her back and wait for a guy to tell her what to do.

Something in her pulled at the strings in me and knowing what she went through yesterday didn’t sit well with the little monster sitting in my soul. No, the entire day I had the insane urge to go to her and make sure that she was okay. My entire body hummed with the need to be next to her, and after everything I found out today, after fighting with myself, I felt tired.

But I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to hang out with them. They were the next generation, the ones that were going to be initiated—if they already weren’t—and I wanted in. Uncle Neal didn’t exactly agree with my plan, but he let it pass. We both knew that even if he didn’t approve, I’d still do it.

I pulled up next to the black Mercedes G-Wagon and turned off my radio just as “Avalanches” by IAMX started blasting through the car. Two other cars were parked on my left side—a red Audi A7 and a silver-colored BMW. They were definitely here.

Turning the ignition off, I opened my door and took the packet of cigarettes I bought on the way. If the other day in the crypt was anything to go by, I assumed that they already had everything else we needed. Rich kids who had more money than brains usually went hand in hand with drugs, alcohol, and bad decisions.

I was probably a hypocrite for describing them like that because I wasn’t known for the smartest decisions. But unlike them, I liked to think that I knew what was wrong and what was right.

The metal gates in front of me were wide open, and I could see the decaying Ferris wheel on the other side. I had no idea how long this amusement park was here, but I could see the appeal. Once you turned down the gravel road leading to this place, there were no houses and no people who could see them here.

Birds cawed in the distance as I walked down the path, following the voices coming from the park. I recognized Danny’s and his brother Rowan’s, followed by feminine laughter that definitely didn’t belong to Skylar. Was she here?

And why was I feeling disappointed if she wasn’t?

I lifted my head and looked toward the mountain covered in fog. Since we moved to Winworth, I could count the number of times it didn’t look like this on the fingers of my left hand. Fog was the constant companion of Winworth, regardless of the season.

Gravelly pathway scrunched underneath my boots and rounding the corner where the old ticket counter sat, I found them hanging at the old merry-go-round, laughing at something.

“Ash!” Beatrice screeched and started running to me. “Oh, you’re just in time.”

She held a bottle of Grey Goose vodka in her right hand, and with the other one, she hugged me and started pushing me toward the others. Rowan nodded at me, while Danny jumped up from the ground and came over.

“I’m glad you made it,” he said as Beatrice ran toward Skylar who was sitting on one of the plastic horses, looking at her phone. So, we were back at that?

“Yeah, me too,” I mumbled. “What is this place?” I looked around, noticing that the place must have been older than I initially thought.

“This, my friend, is Infernum.”

“Infernum?” Disbelief laced my voice.

“Yeah!” Beatrice laughed. “Well, what’s left of it.”

“This place was fully functional back in the ’90s, but they shut it down and left it here to rot,” Danny explained as we walked together. “Which kinda works for us, since it’s a perfect place to hang out.”

I nodded at him, and instead of taking a seat next to Beatrice, who kept petting the spot on the wooden floor of the merry-go-round, I approached the dark horse Skylar was sitting on, annoyed by the lack of attention from her side. My fingers had been literally inside of her this morning, and she didn’t even bat an eye at my presence.

“Sky.” I touched her shoulder, only for her to jump in the spot, almost falling off the horse. “Whoa, there.” I steadied her before she could hit the ground.

Round, silver eyes connected with mine, fear evident in them, completely different from the girl I saw this morning. Her blonde hair was tied in a ponytail, but even the makeup she had on her face couldn’t hide the paleness of her skin, or the dark circles around her eyes.

How did I not notice them this morning?

Because you were too busy fucking with her head. My consciousness reared its ugly head.

I pushed those thoughts aside, and placed my hand on top of hers, feeling the soft skin and remembering how she looked this morning.

“Are you okay?” I asked when she said nothing, feeling the eyes of the other three on us.

“Yeah.” She grinned, but it was as fake as it came, and I hated it. I didn’t know why. I shouldn’t care, but I wanted to see the smile I saw years ago in that picture. This cold and distant girl in front of me wasn’t who I was expecting to meet. “Just a little jumpy.”

“You can say that again,” Beatrice chirped. “You’ve been acting weird the entire day.”

“Bea,” Rowan warned, but Skylar was already getting off the horse.

“Oh, excuse me, your highness, but I kinda found a dead body yesterday. I would like to see you acting completely normal after something like that.”

“I didn’t—” Beatrice started but Skylar cut her off.

“Save it.”

All four of us stood there, transfixed as Skylar marched away from us, disappearing into one of the tents.

“What did I say?” Beatrice looked at Danny, then at Rowan, and lastly at me. “She was acting weird.”

“Ah, Bea,” Danny groaned. “Skylar is a bit traumatized.”

“Yeah, I get that, but—”

“It’s okay. She’s gonna come back and you guys can continue playing nice,” Rowan said as he got up. “I’ll go talk to her.”

“No.” I stepped down. “I’ll do it.”

I picked up the bottle of Grey Goose Beatrice had left on the ground and walked in the same direction Skylar disappeared to. It was already getting darker out here, thanks to the cloudy weather and the surrounding mountains. I missed having an extended summer, like we had while living in California, but I didn’t miss the humidity that came with it.

I did love the fact that I could already wear boots, even though it was only September, and they definitely helped as I went through the puddles leading to the tent. I uncapped the bottle and took a hefty sip before entering the darkened area, looking for Skylar.

A lone figure sat in the middle of the circle that used to be used by the performers, her blonde hair creating a curtain hiding her face. She seemed so small, vulnerable, sitting there all alone, and as soon as those thoughts entered my mind, I tried shaking them off just as fast.

I could pretend to care, but I couldn’t really start believing that. That was simply not an option.

“Skylar?” I started once I entered the circle, coming closer to her. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” she replied, but she never looked up.

“Really?” I dropped down on the floor right next to her, placing the bottle between us. “Because to me—”

“I really can’t deal with you right now, Ash,” she cut me off, drawing circles in the sand. “The last two days were a pure clusterfuck, and you being here, trying to interrogate me, isn’t helping.”

Her raspy voice felt like a caress over my skin, and I wanted to record it and play it wherever I went. My heart clenched at the pain it was laced with, at the despair emanating from her body, and I wanted to remove it from her. I wanted to take it and throw it away, just so I could finally have those eyes on me, without that fear I saw earlier.

“Skylar.” I leaned closer to her, moving her hair behind her ear, revealing her face to me. “We don’t have to talk.” I pushed the bottle toward her. “We can just sit here and do nothing.”

She glared at the bottle for a second before she finally took it in her hand, opening the lid and taking a mouthful.

“Or we can drink.” I chuckled, as she moved the bottle away, wiping her mouth. “Whatever you want to do.”

She finally looked at me, her eyes blazing with fire that could burn us both. A fire I wouldn’t mind dying for because I wanted what she had to offer.

“I don’t wanna talk.” She licked her lips, drawing my attention to them. “I want to forget.”

I looked up, meeting her eyes again, seeing the meaning behind her words. I took the bottle from her, taking a sip, never taking my eyes from hers. As I dropped it to the ground, I wrapped my hand around her throat and pulled her to me.

With our lips mere inches from each other, our breaths mingling, our eyes blazing, I knew we wouldn’t be leaving here tonight with our souls unscathed.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

She didn’t have to ask twice.

I wrapped my other hand around her ponytail, and pushed her head down, before I pressed my lips to hers, devouring her, drinking her alive. She moaned beneath me, pressing her hands to my chest before they traveled to my neck, gripping the short strands of hair at the back of my head.

“I’m gonna eat you alive,” I croaked, my voice sounding foreign to me. “Is that what you want?”

“Yes,” she cried out. “Just don’t stop.”

And I didn’t stop.

Her plea was music to my ears. This was wrong, so fucking wrong, but I couldn’t stop now. I’ve spent my life obsessing over her and her family, creating this picture of her, and none of it was true. I thought I would find a spoiled, bratty girl, but instead I found a broken young woman who was on a path of self-destruction.

I hated her, loathed her entire existence because of who she was, and yet, one look, one touch from her, could undo me and shatter everything I’d been working for. I was dancing on a thin line between passion and hate, and if I wasn’t careful, I could burn myself and my family. I couldn’t let a pair of silver eyes and the shadows dancing in them be my undoing.

No, I had to go ahead with the plan, even if a part of my brain screamed at me to stop while I had a chance. To stop before there was no going back.

But that part of me was already too late. The plan was already in full motion and these feelings could go to fucking hell, because I wasn’t stopping. Not now, not ever.

“Do you want this?” I asked her as I pushed her to the ground, still keeping my hand tightly wrapped around her throat. Arousal flashed in her eyes, calling out to mine. Blood roared in my ears, and I could hear my heartbeat, thundering in my head, my blood boiling in my veins, because no matter what her last name was, my body wanted her.

I’d wanted her for a long fucking time, and now I would have her.

“Ash,” she whispered, but she didn’t answer my question.

“Answer me!” I roared, pressing on her pulse, and placing my other hand on her pelvis. Her entire body trembled under my touch, eager for what was about to come just like mine was. Burning desire and a touch of poison, and tonight, I wouldn’t mind burning with her.

“Yes!” she shouted, her voice echoing around us, disappearing into the descending night. “I want this. I want you to fuck me.”

I thought I would feel disgusted being here with her, doing this, but the feelings roaring through my body, dancing on my skin, were nowhere near close to disgust. My pants were a size too small as my dick woke up, willing to play, begging to be lost inside her heat. All thoughts of the hatred I felt for her family were gone, replaced by the carnal need to possess her, to have her all to myself.

All mine.

“Please,” she pleaded while I took a second too long to think about all this. “I want to forget. I want to—”

I moved my hand from her pelvis and pressed a finger to her lips, cutting her off. “Shhh, don’t talk.” If she talked, I would have to separate her from the monsters crowding this town, and I couldn’t lose sight of the things that were important.

My body wanted her, but my mind… My mind was on a different wavelength, and I couldn’t wait to hear her screams, even if they were from pleasure.

I dragged my thumb over her bottom lip, then toward her cheek and went lower, until my entire palm was pressed against her chest. With her eyes fixed on me, I could see all the emotions unfolding on her face—need, desire, and fear. I wasn’t sure if she was afraid of me or if that was the remnant of what happened to her, but whatever it was, I would take it.

I wanted to bottle it and carry it with me, because one emotion stronger than desire was always fear. It could drive us mad, but it could also drive us to things we didn’t know we wanted. And she wanted me.

She wanted a stranger, somebody unknown, to take her mind off of the things she was afraid of. Maybe she and I weren’t so different, after all. Maybe we both just wanted to forget.

I didn’t know what haunted her, but I knew what haunted me.

Their screams.

Their tears.

The smell of burning flesh.

My mother’s terrified face and the stoic look on my father as they dragged the blade over his throat, letting the blood flow over the white t-shirt he always wore to bed.

I gripped the hem of the thin blue shirt she wore and started lifting it up, revealing the smooth, pale skin of her stomach. Her chest rose and fell with rapid breaths, but she couldn’t move her head with my other hand still on her throat. I felt her throat working beneath my hand as she swallowed, but she didn’t say a word as I started caressing her stomach.

“Your skin is so smooth,” I murmured, almost to myself. So smooth, so unlike mine, which was marred with scars too ugly for people to see. I wondered if she would be satisfied with the lies I would have to spew at her about the slashes on my back and the burn marks on my upper arm.

She kept her hands to the side, waiting to see what I was going to do, and all of a sudden, I wanted to feel her touch on me. I wanted to feel that same energy that zapped through me every time she touched me. Back in the school hallway, when I stopped her from walking into that sign, I almost did nothing, but something inside of me didn’t want to see her on the floor.

The only person she would be kneeling for would be me.

“Ash,” she moaned when I brushed the underside of her breast, awakening the chills all over her skin. “I don’t want to wait. Please.”

“Hmm.” I turned her around, pulling her legs around my waist and lifted her up. We were suddenly face-to-face, and I could almost taste the sweet venom she carried on her lips.

Like poison ivy, she could be the end of me with just one kiss. But no matter what, I wanted to taste her, to drink the poison from her cherry lips, to bite every inch of her, to hear her screams and my name on her lips as we both plunged into sweet oblivion.

Rational thoughts weren’t with me anymore, and like a starved man, I dove, capturing her lips with mine, seeking entrance. I didn’t have to fight her for too long because she already gave up this battle. She wanted this as much as I did, if not even more, and I wondered if she would feel the same if she knew the truth.

Would she look at me with the same fire, with the same need if she knew that she was just another pawn in this game of life, and I was the main player? Would she feel the same if she knew that she wasn’t the queen on my chessboard and she never would be? She couldn’t, because I would never forgive myself if I betrayed my parents like that.

I wrapped my arms around her, pressing her to me, letting her grind on my aching dick threatening to burst from my pants. God, this was both painful and exciting. With her hands around my neck, she started dipping them underneath my shirt, and I could feel her nails as she scraped them over my skin, no doubt leaving marks.

Marks over the other scars I had from the ones that had the same blood rushing through their veins like she did. Scars that would always be a reminder of who I was and what I needed to do.

But for tonight… Tonight, she wasn’t a Blackwood, and I wasn’t a Crowell. Tonight, I would lock down the sinister thoughts I learned to live with, and I would surrender myself to the minx in my arms, letting her pull my shirt over my head, leaving me exposed to her.

She locked her ankles around my waist and did something I never would’ve expected her to do.

Skylar started caressing my hair, then my face, her feathery touches igniting the sleeping volcano in my soul. She was setting fire to my skin, and she didn’t even know. I let her.

Lifting the bottle from the ground, she uncapped it and pressed it to my lips, slowly lifting it up. As soon as my lips closed around the rim, a soft smile touched her lips, but the wicked gleam in her eyes told me that there was nothing soft in her.

As soon as I gulped down the hefty amount of vodka, letting it burn through my throat, all the way to my stomach, she did the same, lifting it to her own lips, all the while looking at me.

“Sky—”

“My turn.” She grinned and placed the bottle on the ground.

She tasted like vodka and sin when she placed her lips on mine. I let her have control for a minute or two, but I wasn’t a patient guy, and I couldn’t wait any longer. I gripped the back of her neck and with my other hand, I started unbuttoning her pants. My fingers grazed her stomach before diving in deeper until I brushed the edge of her panties.

I swallowed her moans, her pleas, her cries, and pushed her to the ground, depriving her of my lips. She started protesting, but she didn’t get too far. I gripped her pants and started dragging them over her hips, feeling her shivering body, both from nerves and anticipation.

Her panties followed, and I could see her arousal glistening on her bare pussy, calling out to me. Like a man possessed, I didn’t wait before I spread her legs further and dove, lapping at her clitoris. She moaned and arched from the ground, and when I entered her with two fingers, she screamed, creating the perfect symphony in my ears.

“Ash!”

My tongue ran circles from her clit to her opening, lapping at her juices, loving the smell of her. I pressed my other hand to her stomach, keeping her down as she started thrashing on the ground, moaning my name, begging, and screaming for a release.

I pressed against the sweet spot inside her, feeling her clench around my fingers. I almost came in my pants, knowing that my dick would soon be replacing my hand.

“Do you want to come, Moonshine?” I lifted my head and looked at her. Rosy cheeks and hair all over the place, with half of it still tied in a ponytail and half falling around her face, she looked like a goddess. I wished I could keep her because she made me feel.

She made me fucking feel, and I both loved and hated it.

“Answer the question.” I pinched her clit and smirked at the look on her face.

“Yes. I want to come, dammit.”

“Are you sure?” I started removing my fingers when she clamped her legs closed, keeping me inside her.

“Please.” Her eyes connected with mine. “Just… Please.”

I watched her, reading her face, memorizing every inch, every curve and gripped her knee, spreading her open again. Protests reappeared on her sinful lips when I stood up, but as I pulled the wallet out of my back pocket and took the condom out, she quieted down, watching my every step.

Unbuttoning my pants and pulling them down with my boxers, I almost moaned as my dick sprung up, finally free from the restraints. Her eyes widened at the sight of me, licking her lips as she held herself on her forearms.

I ripped the foil of the condom with my teeth, and with eager moves, I dropped down on my knees, pulling her to me. I wrapped my hand around my dick, gritting my teeth, wanting to get lost in her, but I didn’t want to end this so soon. With her eyes on me, I pressed the head of my dick against her clit and started dragging it through her slit, teasing her opening, reveling in the sharpening of her breath.

I moved back and started stroking my dick while she ate me with her eyes, waiting for my next move. Time stood still as the electricity buzzed between us, as she laid in front of me, spread open, with her pussy glistening, waiting for me. The fire burned higher and higher as I stroked myself, making us both wait for what we wanted.

“Shit,” I grunted as my hand went up and down, and I closed my eyes, seeing her still as the darkness shrouded my sight. I almost jumped from my spot as a pair of softer, smaller hands pressed against my chest, and when I opened my eyes, I saw her kneeling in front of me. She removed her shirt and gazed up at me, holding herself still.

She dragged her hands over my chest, all the way to my abdomen, coming close to my aching dick begging for release. But not yet, not like this. She moved my hands away, and wrapped hers around my length, pressing a soft kiss over my heart, then over both of my pecs, going toward my nipples.

Her tongue danced against the puckered buds, sending shock waves through my body, while she stroked my shaft, gripping me tight.

I couldn’t wait anymore. I didn’t want to wait, and as she started going lower, I pushed her to her back and leaned over her, guiding my dick toward her opening, sliding in and holding myself still.

“Holy—” I started.

“Fuck,” she finished for me.

The walls of her pussy clenched around me, holding me hostage in her warmth, driving me insane. Inch by painful inch, I slowly slid in further, going all the way in, spreading her wide. I gripped her hip with one hand, while I held myself on my other hand placed next to her head. My lips tingled from the previous kisses, and I wanted to taste her again, to drown in her moans, in her intoxicating scent crowding us.

“Ash,” she moaned as I started lowering myself down. “I need you to move. Please.” With hooded eyes, and golden hair spread around her head, she looked like a fucking angel beneath me. I dropped down, taking her lips again, biting her lower lip and soothing it with my tongue.

I started moving my hips, slowly at first, loving the vise-like grip she had on me. With every new move, every new hit to that sweet spot inside her, she moaned, she gasped, and when she wrapped her arms around me, dragging her nails over my back, over my damaged skin, I started losing control.

An animalistic growl tore from my chest, and I increased the pace, the sounds of our skin slamming against each other the only other sound around us. My grip on her hip increased, and I knew she was going to have bruises tomorrow. And the animal inside of me, the little monster that suddenly woke up wanting to devour her, loved it more than anything else in this world.

My mark on her skin, my dick inside her, and her eyes only for me, fixated as if she couldn’t get enough just like I couldn’t.

“Fuck,” she yelled, breaking the kiss, and closing her eyes. “Faster, Ash,” she begged. “Please go faster.”

And I did. I braced myself and started slamming into her with punishing thrusts. Her hand sneaked between us, and she started rubbing her clit, chasing her own orgasm. I was close, so fucking close, I could feel my orgasm coiling at the bottom of my spine, waiting to erupt.

“Moonshine,” I growled and bit her neck. “Please tell me you’re close.”

Because if she wasn’t, this would be very embarrassing.

“Oh God,” she screeched. “That’s it,” she said as I changed the angle. “That’s the spot.”

I focused on that, lifting my upper body from her, and gripping her hips with both my hands. Beads of sweat gathered on my forehead and on my upper lip, and I could see the same on her. One lone bead glistened between her breasts as they bounced with every new thrust, and her hand gripped the sand beneath her, holding herself, while the other one ferociously worked on her clit.

“Oh, shit!” she screamed. “Ash, Ash, Ash—”

“I know,” I whispered, unable to talk any louder. “I know, baby.”

Her mouth opened as her legs started shaking around me, and with a guttural scream, I watched as she came undone in front of me, rubbing herself frantically, prolonging her orgasm. Her pussy held my dick in a tight grip and when black spots started dancing around the periphery of my vision, I let go and slammed into her, feeling the orgasm tear through my body, almost knocking me out.

I collapsed on top of her, unable to stay upright anymore. Sand and our sweat mixed together, but instead of pushing me away from her, she started stroking my hair and humming an unknown song, filling the empty space around us.

My mind was completely blank, spent, and I was unable to move my body.

But I had to, even if I wanted nothing more than to stay here for a little bit longer and forget about the things I needed to do. Everything I tried to lock down started pouring back into my mind, and I stiffened as her hands glided over my scars.

Why was it that the things we shouldn’t want were the ones that always felt right? Being here with her felt both right and wrong, and yet I knew that wasn’t my mind talking. That was my heart. My tired heart wanted nothing more but to forget about the horrors of the past and live life like a normal person, without grudges accompanying us every single day.

However, I couldn’t forget who I was and who she was. Instead of allowing her to continue her little exploration of my skin, I pulled myself up and removed the condom, tying it up and throwing it to the side.

I refused to look at her, to see the hurt in her eyes, because I knew what I was doing now.

I was rejecting her.