Apathy by L.K. Reid

Ash

“This isn’t working for me anymore.”

This isn’t working for me anymore.

Her words echoed in my head on repeat, even after she left the library.

I couldn’t chase after her. I couldn’t hold her to me, like I wanted to, because she managed to escape before I could pull up my pants.

This isn’t working for me anymore.

No.

NO.

This isn’t working for me anymore.

Right after I told her I loved her.

This isn’t working for me anymore.

Right after I showed her what she meant to me.

This isn’t working for me anymore.

Right after I thought that everything was okay.

Fuck.

“Fuck!” I roared out loud, throwing the book she left behind to the other side of the library.

I had no idea how long I stood here, holding onto the table where she was mine. Those six words just shattered this fantasy I had created in my head, but I’d be damned if I let her get away with this so easily.

I asked her why. I begged her to talk to me as I tried to pull on my pants, but the only response I got was the tear-stained face, and the sobs I could still hear as if she were right next to me.

Dragging a hand over my face, I took a deep breath, willing myself to calm down, so that I wouldn’t do anything stupid. Like march over to her house and demand that she talk to me, to explain what the fuck just happened.

But knowing her, she would just close down even more, and I would be nowhere near solving this shit she threw at me.

I thought we were okay. I went insane over the last four weeks when she completely shut me down, allowing me to hold her hand when we were in public, but that was it. If we were alone, she wouldn’t utter a word, and it was driving me mad.

But I gave her space because I thought that’s what she wanted. I thought she wanted to deal with the aftermath of that attack on her own, and instead of suffocating her, I just wanted to be there for her.

Apparently, she didn’t want me at all.

I rubbed the spot on my chest, as if the visceral pain she left me with was physical, rather than emotional. In one split second, she destroyed everything I loved about my life right now.

I defied my uncle when he told me to just fuck her and leave her. I defied what I promised my parents a long time ago, because she meant more than revenge.

She was my present and my future, and I tried leaving the ghosts of the past where they belonged—in the past. But she literally shat on everything I tried to do for her.

I sat on the chair she was previously sitting on and grabbed my head with both my hands, placing my elbows on my knees, and for the first time since I was a child, I wanted to cry.

To weep, to shout, to scream at the top of my lungs, because this was tearing me apart. Her birthday was coming up tomorrow, and I had plans, dammit. I didn’t give a shit about fucking Halloween and the bonfire at the riverbank.

I just wanted to spend it with her.

And now she was gone, leaving me behind as if what we had meant nothing. I knew she was lying. Her tears and her eyes told me everything she didn’t want me to know.

She was terrified, but not of me. Something happened in the last four weeks. Something she didn’t want to say, and I was going to find out what it was.

The other problem I had was the fact that The Order seemed to be quiet. Too quiet for my liking.

The last time I saw any of them going toward City Hall was three weeks ago, and since then, most of the founding families were either out of the town, or were generally nowhere to be seen. Lars, the only person that seemed to know things about the Black Dahlia, was completely silent.

To make matters worse, Sebastian was on my case lately to stay in Winworth after our mission was done, and that was one thing I promised myself I would never do. We got into a fight yesterday, and I had a feeling life decided to just fuck with all my relationships lately.

The lights in the library suddenly turned on, making me almost jump from the chair I was sitting in.

I knew I had to move. I knew I should probably go home, but my body wasn’t listening to my mind. Instead of getting up and leaving this place, I placed my hands on the spot where Skylar lay earlier and closed my eyes, imagining we were still in the same spot, at the same time.

“I wondered if you would still be here, or if you left already.” A deep, gravelly voice broke the silence of the library, and when I turned around to see who it was, the blood running through my veins turned cold.

Judah Blackwood.

The devil himself.

Clad in a black designer suit that probably cost more than the house we were currently living in, he stood between the two shelves leading to the door with his hands in his pockets, smiling, as if seeing me was the best thing that has ever happened to him.

I often dreamed about the first time I would see him, thinking about all the things I would say to him, the things I would do to him. But now that he stood in front of me, I realized he held more power over me than I initially thought.

He started walking toward me, looking around the library as if he owned the place. Hell, maybe he did, I wouldn’t know. Nothing would surprise me at this point.

“Ah, this place brings back old memories.” He laughed and took a seat across from me, placing his hands in his lap. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, but I knew that if he wanted to do something to me, he would’ve done so already.

Judah Blackwood isn’t the type of man who would wait around or try to meet me just so that he could kill me, like he killed my parents.

“You look just like your father,” he said, as if it was the most normal thing to say in this situation. My body froze, the muscle in my cheek ticking with each passing second. I knew I wore a murderous expression on my face. I was bigger than him, probably stronger as well, and I could take him, but as he sat there, a self-satisfied look on his face, looking at me with something more than anger, I realized that this might be my way in.

“You mean the father you killed?” I gritted through my teeth, the flashbacks of that night slowly leering from the darkest parts of my mind.

“Oh, come on, Asher, don’t be hasty. That was, what, twelve years ago?”

“To me it feels like it happened just yesterday, old man.”

Instead of getting pissed off at the nickname, he laughed, the lines around his eyes crinkling as he stared at me.

“I think I’ll like you, kid.” He opened his suit jacket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes from the inner pocket. He took one out and dropped it on the table, right in front of me. “You smoke, don’t you?”

I said nothing, and I hated myself for just sitting here like a little schoolboy, letting him lead this conversation. My parents would be disappointed in me if they could see me now.

Asher Crowell rendered speechless from fear in front of the man he vowed to destroy.

His eyes, a lighter shade than Skylar’s, roamed over my body, going from my head, all over my chest, and back up again, as if he was trying to read me, to see who I really was.

“Take one,” he said as he lit up his own cigarette. “And don’t worry about school rules.” He snickered. “You’ll find out soon that people in this town do what we tell them to do, not the other way around.”

And there it was, the entire truth of Winworth. No secrets, no lies, just fucked-up families behaving as if they owned everybody’s lives.

I lifted the packet of cigarettes from the table, and took one out, lighting it up with my own lighter, letting the smoke coat my insides. Letting it calm me down enough so that I wouldn’t jump over the table at the monster sitting across from me.

“You know,” he started as the smoke circled around him. “When I was told my daughter was dating some new guy, I had to see who you were. Of course, I told her to stop this nonsense, considering that she was a Blackwood and couldn’t date some outsider, but then I got some really interesting information.”

“You mean, you found out my brother and I are both alive and here in town.”

“Oh yes. Imagine my surprise, well, imagine everyone’s surprise when they found out.”

I moved the chair backward and placed my foot on the table. “So, what now? You’re planning to kill us both?”

He dropped the ash from the cigarette to the floor and grinned at me.

“If I wanted to kill you, boy, you would already be dead.” That fear intensified. “But no, that’s not why I’m here.”

“Then why are you here?” I scowled. “Forgive me for the lack of faith, but the last time I saw any of you was the night that changed my life forever.”

“I hear you, but you are still a Crowell. You are still a founding family, and you still deserve to have a spot within The Order.”

An involuntary laugh broke free from my chest, and as he started frowning, I realized that this wasn’t the reaction he expected to get.

“Sorry,” I wheezed. “But… It’s just…” I coughed. “Are you telling me that you want me to join your little order?”

The expression on his face changed so fast, that if I hadn’t been looking at him, I would’ve missed it. He stood up and dropped the cigarette to the floor, extinguishing it with his foot.

“You may laugh now but being a part of The Order gives you opportunities and opens doors you could never even imagine. What happened to your parents was tragic, I agree. But that was in the past, and this is now.” This motherfucking son of a bitch. “You should join us tomorrow. It’s Samhain, one of the holiest nights for us.” I almost shuddered. “And there is a place for you there.”

Tomorrow? Tomorrow was Skylar’s birthday.

“I don’t kn—”

“I’ll wait for you in front of City Hall at eleven tomorrow night. We have something special going on tomorrow, and trust me,” the bastard smirked, “you won’t want to miss this.”

And just like his daughter earlier today, he walked out, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I should be happy. This was exactly what we were working on, what we were hoping to achieve. Then why didn’t I feel happy? Why instead of the happiness I was expecting to feel, did dread settle in my gut?

Maybe because I knew that Judah Blackwood never did anything out of the goodness of his heart. Maybe because I knew that whatever they offered, whatever fairy tale they were trying to sell, would always come with a great cost.

I just had no idea what the purpose of this visit was, but I would be a fool to pass up this opportunity. Being inside The Order was exactly what I needed to take them down once and for all.