Apathy by L.K. Reid

Skylar

The moment we came back to the school, I knew something was wrong. Lauren walked along my side as we went through the garden area filled with students. Some were crying, some looked terrified, while others simply looked… lost.

“What the fuck happened?” Lauren asked, taking in the scene in front of us.

Three girls from our grade stood together next to the fountain in the middle of the garden, huddled together, crying. I couldn’t see Kane or Beatrice among the other students, but I had a feeling that neither one of them went back to school after leaving the crypt. Kane was too pissed off to deal with the school for the rest of the day, and Beatrice being Beatrice probably followed him.

Under different circumstances, I would’ve followed him as well, but it was better to cut him off now than to lead him on when nothing real could ever happen. I mistakenly thought that he would be able to handle the arrangement we had during the summer, but I was wrong. Hurting him pained me, but I could never tell him why I started it in the first place.

If I did, he would end up dead, and that was the last thing I wanted to happen.

“Look.” Lauren pointed toward the back entrance, where several teachers stood, their pale faces telling a story of their own. Whatever happened, it wasn’t good. “They look scared.”

No, not only scared. They looked fucking terrified.

Our history teacher, Ms. Brown, was consoling two female students whose faces I couldn’t see since their backs were turned to us. The whole place looked like something out of a movie. Grief and despair coated the air with their filthy little hands, and as the two policemen stepped through the door with our principal, Mr. Donaghue, it was clear to me that whatever had happened, wasn’t a small feat.

Crows sang their wicked song of death, flying above our heads, like messengers announcing the impending doom. As I looked to the sky, the first droplet of rain fell on my face, rolling over my cheek, toward my chin. The dark sky above our school suddenly filled with a flock of birds flying in the direction only known to them. Omens of evil were everywhere, and I needed to know what happened.

“Lauren.” I looked down, following her line of sight toward where the two officers spoke with the two girls from our grade. Casey and Anna seemed to be shaking, only held up by their boyfriends as they stood behind them. “Can you ask around? See what happened.”

Out of the two of us, Lauren was much better at socializing with other people. I preferred to keep to myself and to keep my mouth shut, unless I knew the person I was talking to. Lauren was a social butterfly, and she would be able to gather what had happened much easier than me.

“Do I have to?” she moaned. “I kinda don’t want to talk to people today.”

“You’re talking to me.”

“Yeah, but you’re not people. You’re more like an alien.” Her irises were still shot wide, and I could only assume that mine were the same, but I didn’t have it in me to care. I smiled at her before I nudged her toward two freshmen watching the same scene with the officers as we did.

As soon as she started walking toward them, I felt him behind me, his energy electrifying my body. I wasn’t sure if it was the number of capsules I swallowed, the vodka I drank, or maybe the weed we smoked, but I could feel him everywhere. Around me, inside me, in my head, in my veins… He was everywhere.

Even when I stood up from that bench back in the crypt, distancing myself from him and walking to Lauren who stood with Danny, I could still feel him as if he was standing next to me. He didn’t touch me, yet I knew that if he did, my whole body would burn with desire. Ash was dangerous, too dangerous for me, for my mind. I wished I didn’t have such a visceral reaction to him, but I did, and I knew I would have to do something about it.

My issues had issues, dammit, and tangling myself with someone whose essence screamed danger wasn’t the smartest thing to do. So, distance. Yeah, I had to put some distance between us.

It’s only the first day at school and it already wasn’t going how I planned. I was supposed to lie low, avoid temptation, and he… he was the biggest fucking temptation of all. Whatever he carried inside of his soul called to mine.

Strong fingers sneaked underneath my hair, reaching the back of my neck, leaving a blazing trail in their path. I couldn’t understand my body’s reaction to him. It wasn’t like this was the first time I was attracted to somebody, but it was never like this.

This felt raw, unhinged, animalistic, and dangerous.

I was alive, but I wasn’t living. I was touched, but never understood. I was loved, but never really seen. Adults labeled me as problematic, while most of the kids my age described me as weird.

My skin tingled from where he touched me, and instead of moving away, I leaned back, seeking more, asking him to take a hold of more, without speaking the words. Understanding what I wanted, he came closer until his chest almost pressed against my back.

I could see Lauren not too far away from us. I could see worried faces, sadness taking over, but I couldn’t hear anything from the whooshing sound in my ears, as my heart thundered inside my chest. I was still drowsy, but with every soft caress, with every little touch on the back of my head, he was bringing me back to life.

Just as I started succumbing to his touch, to this crazy feeling, I remembered what was at stake, and his touch stopped feeling like a caress, and more like a punishment. I couldn’t enjoy this feeling. I couldn’t let myself fall for him, no matter how much I wanted to.

I took a step forward, moving away from him as if he burned me. I was playing with fire here. If he found out what was going on today, I wouldn’t be the one paying. Oh no. That sadistic piece of shit knew that he couldn’t hurt me physically, so he always chose those closest to me.

“You’re avoiding me.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement, and I didn’t want to lie to him. I wanted to get to know him. I wanted to know all the tiny secrets—where he got that scar, why he looked like a thunderstorm and smelled like everything forbidden to me. “Why?”

Why?

Why?

Why?

There were a million reasons why, but I couldn’t tell him any of them. I wouldn’t tell him any of them because this burden of mine was only mine to carry.

“I’m not avoiding you,” I responded, still looking forward, trying to focus on Lauren.

“Yes, you are.” He was suddenly closer, too close. I couldn’t see him, but I could feel every inch of him. “I thought we were getting to know each other back in the crypt.”

I swirled around and crossed my arms across my chest. “You thought wrong.” Dammit, being this close to him I could see all the colors playing around his irises—cobalt blue with yellow spots. But what fascinated me more, what kept me enthralled in his icy stare was the anger threatening to swallow me whole.

He kept a cool façade, a pretty mask for the rest of the world to see, but what I was seeing now was far from the cold and indifferent Ash I met today. I never knew true fear until I looked in his eyes. I never knew that one person could hold so much power in their eyes, but he did.

While my brain told me to run from him, to hide and save myself, my body started betraying me, wanting to be closer. Just like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to him, and I couldn’t understand why.

I broke the connection before I could do something stupid and turned around to look for Lauren again. I didn’t know how much time passed, but as I started ignoring the blazing inferno standing behind me, I could see her walking toward us, seemingly concerned.

“What happened?” I asked as soon as she reached us. The whole atmosphere was creeping me out, and the fog that was slowly descending from the mountain, definitely wasn’t helping.

“You know Megan?” Her voice trembled as she asked. Gone was the carefree attitude and happiness she carried around.

“Uh—”

“Tall, blonde, annoyingly chirpy.” She started describing her. “Always sitting in the first row during physics class?”

“Barely,” I murmured. Megan was just one of those girls you knew but didn’t necessarily talk to. Or at least, I didn’t talk to her. Truth be told, I didn’t talk to most of the people outside of our circle. Being a Blackwood in this town meant that almost everybody wanted something from you, and I was tired of fake smiles and polite answers because they were too afraid to anger me.

I wasn’t my parents, yet nobody wanted to see that—except for Dylan.

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts and trying to focus on what was happening around me. “Why are we talking about her again?” I asked Lauren. I didn’t like the terrified look on her face, or the pale color of her skin.

“Because she’s missing.”

Missing.

Just like the others over the course of the last couple of months. Girls and guys our age were disappearing in the middle of the night, only for their bodies to be found days later. Just like…

“Since when?” Ash asked, while I kept staring at Lauren.

Missing.

Oh my God.

“Do they…” I cleared my throat. “Do they know anything?”

Lauren shook her head, her wild red hair bouncing around her shoulders, the only splatter of color in the otherwise dark day. Ash stepped in front of me, talking to Lauren, but I couldn’t hear a word. I could see his profile, his lips moving, his throat working with every word said, but my mind was as far away from here as possible.

I used to love memories. I used to look at pictures from my childhood, from school, and think about the happier times. But now… Now all of my memories always go back to one I would rather forget. They always go to the place, to the person that wasn’t here anymore.

They always go to the smell of burning flesh, that first disappearance and fear like no other.

They always go back to May and that godforsaken night.

“Skylar!” I jumped at the sound of Lauren’s voice, waking me from the trap my mind was laying out for me.

“What?”

I could see the worry in her eyes because we both knew what this situation reminded me of. And not only me.

“They’re sending us home for the day. Most of the students are frightened and they want to talk to some of the students that were there last night with Megan.”

There? Where were they?

“They went out last night?”

My limbs were heavy, and I knew I was having a hard time understanding everything she said.

“I just explained what happened,” she huffed. “Not even a minute ago.”

She did?

“I-I’m… I’m sorry, L. I guess I wasn’t listening.”

She came closer, taking my hands into hers. “It’s fine. This might not be the same situation, you know? So, get that out of your head. I can already see those wheels turning, connecting this with what happened to…” She stopped herself before saying his name. “You know what? Let’s just get out of here. My parents aren’t home right now, and the pool is heated.”

She started pulling me toward the school, and I tried ignoring the stares and whispers around us. I focused on the brightness of her hair and the presence behind me. Ash trailed behind us without saying a word, and I could only assume that Rowan, Danny, and Hailey followed.

Lauren said everything was going to be okay, and I wasn’t sure if she was trying to assure me or herself. Four months ago, all our lives were turned upside down when the first disappearance occurred and to this day, none of us could understand what exactly happened. None of us could explain the body they found that night, after the fire swallowed the entire cabin.

We only knew what they told us.

The body belonged to Zane St. Clare—Kane’s brother and my boyfriend.