The Heart Chaser by Gina Azzi
Luca
Iwatch Abbi’s hips swing as she walks away from me. She doesn’t turn around. She doesn’t even seem affected by running into me while I’m left here…playing catch up.
Why the hell is she here?
Guilt wracks through me about the way I left things the last time we were together. I kissed her goodbye and told her I’d call. And then my life went to shit and I preferred to keep the reminder of her untarnished. If I called, I only would have fucked things up the way I always do with women. Because I never want what they want. I never want the commitment and the monogamy and the future.
But with Abbi, I could have. No. I shake my head, as if to clear the preposterous thought. I told Abbi not to settle and that’s exactly what she would be doing with me.
Besides, my family needed me and they trump everything.
But why is she working here? And why the hell didn’t anyone tell me? Does Austin know? He must know. Chloe and Abbi are joined at the hip. There’s no way she accepted this position without running it by him.
Hang on. Did he help her secure this position? Did he have a hand in this and purposely withheld the details from me? I frown, my anger redirecting toward my team captain which is pretty shitty since we’re having an incredible season.
Fuck. My drama-free personal life, well, as it pertains to women at least, just got a hell of a lot more complicated. I stare at the closed double doors that lead to Human Resources. I never meant to lie to Abbi. It’s just, after so many weeks holding my family together, too much time had passed. Too many things had changed to reach out to her.
Judging by her cool demeanor, I hurt her when she’s the first woman I ever really gave a shit about hurting. And that sucks.
I blow out another sigh.
It’s been one hell of a time lately and I was hoping that the new year would start off better. Considering Abbi Walsh just rolled back into my life, looking like she hates my guts, cozying up to fucking Yaeger, a dude I’ve been trying to wingman, blows that hopeful thought to smithereens.
I lean against the wall, pulling my phone out to check my messages. I scroll through them, a list of concerns from my siblings and their families. I glance back at the double doors.
Abbi would never be happy with a guy like me. Six months ago, maybe. But not since I stepped into the role I should have undertaken years ago. Not since I became Family Man Luca, which is fucking laughable because now, I’m even more emotionally unavailable than when I was just Playboy Panda.
But Abbi, with her hopeful eyes and her worry about being naive, played for a fool, deserves better than a guy who doesn’t know the first thing about making a woman feel like a priority. Nah, the best thing I can do for Abbi is make her think that night meant nothing. That we were nothing more than a summer hookup, a bout in the sheets, a weekend of tequila shots and questionable decisions.
She deserves a man who will keep his word. And I’m clearly not that guy. Not when I’m already supporting more women than I can manage. My stepmother, my sisters, my nieces—are relying on me now more than ever.
There’s no way in hell Abbi would want to come second to that. And she can’t just be a casual fuck buddy. Not after that weekend. Not when we shared things.
Even though I lied to Abbi six months ago, it was for the best. I’d rather her hate me now, after one weekend, than despise me for not living up to the hockey player she built up in her mind.
Pushing off the wall, I enter the stairwell and bound down the steps. I enter the locker room and change quickly, desperate to get a workout in. Anything to quiet the thoughts in my mind. Something to pour my restless energy into. I pop in my EarPods, pick an intense playlist on Spotify, and work out until I can barely lift my arms.
Still, images of Abbi plague my mind.
* * *
“Yo,you ever gonna tell me that Abbi Walsh is working here now?” I bite out at Cap when he enters the locker room.
Austin checks me with a hard look. “Didn’t know I needed to run senior management’s decisions past you, Panda.”
I roll my eyes. “Come on, Cap. You could’ve given me a heads-up.”
Austin leans against a locker and crosses his arms. “Or you could’ve called her and found out what she’s up to all by yourself.”
I snort out a laugh, narrowing my eyes at him. “You’re kidding me, right? You’re, what, not going to have my back now because you’re fucking Abbi’s best friend and—”
My words die a sudden death as Cap’s arm cuts across my windpipe. He shoves me hard against the lockers, his eyes angrier than I’ve ever seen them.
I hold up a hand and he eases the pressure against my throat, backing away.
“Fuck,” Austin swears running a hand through his hair. He points at me. “Don’t say shit about Chloe.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, because it was shitty of me to bring his girl into this. It’s just, I’m hurt he wouldn’t think to tell me about Abbi. Austin knows exactly what went down between us this summer. Is he angry with me about it? Is Chloe? Neither one of them let on and yet… “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Austin sighs, lacing his fingers behind his head as he turns and stares at me. “Chloe and I swore we wouldn’t get involved in whatever the hell transpired between you two. It’s just, you’ve had a tough go of things. So has she. We thought it best just to be your friends and not…feed you info about each other or complicate things when it’s clear you both want nothing to do with each other.”
I frown. What tough go has Abbi had? And what does Austin mean it’s clear we want nothing to do with each other? Did Abbi say that? Does she hate me for not calling?
Guilt burns through me, eating up my thoughts. Of course she hates me. I let her believe that our weekend would develop into more. I wanted her to expect something from me because when I kissed her goodbye, I intended on delivering.
“Whatever,” I say, keeping my voice neutral. “A heads-up would’ve been nice.”
Austin nods. “Well, she’s head of Youth Outreach now.”
My eyebrows lift. “Head? Of the program?”
“Yeah. She ran a lot of the football outreach programs for the New Jersey Kings for five years. She’s more than qualified for the position. And Boston will be a good change for her.”
I narrow my eyes. “Why?” I ask, even though the more important question is how the hell did I never ask what she does for a living? We spent two days wrapped up in each other and…she was right. I don’t really know her at all. Shame flares in my chest and I lift a hand to rub at it.
Austin shoots me a look. “I’m not sharing Abbi’s personal life with you. Just like I won’t share yours with her. You want to know what’s going on? Ask her.”
I don’t say anything and after a moment Austin sighs. “Look Panda, right now, the team’s in a good place. We’re having an incredible season. You really want to make a big deal out of this?”
“No.” I don’t. I just want to play hockey and be there for my family.
“Okay. So, we’re good?”
“All good, Cap,” I say.
“Other than a few outreach events, your path won’t even cross with Abbi’s. Unless you want it to?”
“I don’t.” I shut that idea down real fast. The best thing I can do for Abbi now is stay away. Just hold on to our weekend as a memory, a moment better left in the past.