Pretend Love Romance by Penny Wylder
Diana
The next few days are…wonderful. There’s some tension between Leo and his parents, but being with him is effortless, and I’m not pretending anymore. I don’t care that it might end, I’m living in the moment and loving every second.
And maybe after this is done, it doesn’t have to be over. Neither of us have talked about it more, but we’re certainly acting that way. Though if we’re going to continue this, I’m going to need more clothes.
During the days Leo takes his parents on hikes. I go on a couple of them, but a couple I give them privacy. I’m sure there are things that he wants to talk to them about without me.
But the hike yesterday—the private one—where Leo pulled me into the woods and fucked me against a tree currently holds the place of honor as my favorite moment in nature.
In bed, in the intimate darkness after we’ve fucked ourselves silly, we whisper until we fall asleep tangled together. And in the days when we’re apart, Leo smiles at me every chance he gets. And I can’t wipe my own off my face.
This is what it’s like to fall in love. I know that because it’s never happened to me before, and this feeling is everything.
And that’s why I’m more nervous than ever when Helen takes me out for the lunch that we planned. It’s an upscale place, and the prices on the menu are higher than anything I can afford, but Helen waves it away before I even have a chance to say anything. “I’m taking you to lunch. Don’t even think about asking to pay for anything.”
I smile at her. “How did you know that I was going to?”
“A hunch. You’re that kind of person, Diana. And I don’t mean that in a bad way. You’re generous.”
“That’s kind of you.”
Nerves flutter in my gut. This feels more serious than when I originally planned it, because now I’m not pretending and I want her to like me. I hope that she’ll like me enough that she won’t be angry when she finds out that it’s a lie. Because they’re going to find out.
How can they not? If Leo and I stay together, they’re going to know eventually.
We order off the menu, and the conversation is light until the food actually arrives. That’s when Helen pins me with a stare. “So, what do you love about my son?”
I blush because the first thing that comes to mind is not something you discuss with a mother. I doubt that Helen wants me to say that his ability to make me come sends me into oblivion. But I don’t have to struggle for words, because now that I know I’m falling for him, there are so many things.
“I love how passionate he is. He loves Blue Mountain, and he’ll do anything possible to make it successful. He’s also an incredibly kind person. He goes out of his way to do things for people, and there hasn’t been a moment since I’ve met him that I haven’t felt taken care of.” Every word that I’m saying is true. More than she knows. I shrug. “We fit. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be? It feels effortless, being with him. I want to be around him all the time.”
Then I laugh. “Also, I’m sure you’ve guessed that I find your son deeply attractive.”
Helen smirks. “Yes, our arrival made that very clear.”
“I’m sorry about that,” I say, blushing.
“Why would you apologize? You’re in love.”
I take a bite of the pasta that I ordered. “Just not exactly the way I pictured making my entrance.”
Helen sighs. “For a long time, Leo’s father and I have been worried about him. He always seemed so isolated, and moving to a place in the middle of the woods wasn’t going to help that. But it seems like all our worry wasn’t for anything.”
Nerves shiver in my gut. And guilt. They seem like good people, even if they can be harsh. All parents can be harsh.
She reaches across the table. “I’m so glad that he found you, and I just want to welcome you to the family.”
Unexpected tears fill my eyes. I’m not sure if it’s my guilt or the fact that I want that to be true. I want to be a part of the family.
Helen is gracious enough not to acknowledge my tears as I wipe them away, and the rest of our lunch is perfect. Leo is probably pacing like a caged animal wondering how it went. Before I left, he seemed nervous. I can’t wait to tell him that it’s fine. Better than fine. Amazing.
“Leo mentioned being in the office today,” I say to Helen as we pull into Blue Mountain. As soon as I get out of the car, I hear yelling. What the hell?
Helen and I glance at each other and rush up the porch steps together. The door is already open, and we walk into chaos.
Leo is facing off against his friends, his back to us, and he’s the one who’s yelling.
“This isn’t at all what I planned, believe me. I’ve been out of my mind all week trying to make this work, and it will happen. I didn’t ask for my family to fuck everything up, and I didn’t want to have to fake a fucking relationship just to get my parents off my back.
“They go home tomorrow. One more day and we’ll have the money. And after that I’ll find a way to get it so that we don’t have to go through this shit again.” His voice drops to a more manageable level. “Just twenty-four hours, and I’m free of everything and everyone. And we can go back to business as usual.”
Beside me, Helen has gone completely still, and I don’t know what to do with myself. Leo’s friends are looking at the two of us, and that’s what makes him turn. The look on his face is terrible, because he realizes what just happened—what he’s done.
But as terrible as it is, it’s nothing compared to the pain that’s cracking through my chest. It shouldn’t hurt like this, because I knew that it wasn’t real. But the ground is falling out from underneath me, and everything in the world hurts.
A weight sits on my chest and I can’t breathe. I never knew that this could cause a pain so tangible. My body aches and screams, even though everything around me is silent. It feels false, this silence.
I can’t be here. He won’t see me fall apart.
Turning, I look at Helen, my face flushed with shame. I can’t decipher the look on her face. But I can’t just leave her with that. “Everything that I told you was true,” I say quietly. “I’m so sorry.”
And then I’m walking out of the lodge in a daze and back toward Leo’s cabin. There’s a fog around me. If a train came hurtling past, I don’t think that I would notice. There’s only what’s directly in front of me.
There’s not much to pack. Only the small suitcase that I brought with me for Emily’s bachelorette. And the amount of time that I’ve spent naked made that easy to manage. It’s only minutes for Leo’s cabin to be like I never existed in the first place.
The last thing I do is pull the ring off my finger and place on the counter. I already miss the feeling of it there. The reminder that we were a we.
I can’t blame anyone but myself for this. I knew I was too deep, and I ignored it because it felt too good and too real. It was part of the deal. And now it’s over.
Somehow I make it to my car, though I don’t remember walking there. And it’s not until Blue Mountain isn’t even in my rear-view mirror anymore that I start to cry.
