More Than This by Dominique Wolf

CHAPTER 26:

Isabella

“W

hat, Giovanni?” I snapped.

I crossed my arms across my chest, waiting for his response. He tells me he doesn't need my help and yet, that was exactly what he needed. Not even a few minutes ago I was helping him sit up because he couldn't do it himself. I hated to see him self-destruct like this. That was the last thing I ever wanted for him and I felt so guilty about it.

He leaned against the counter and hung his head in defeat. “I needed to see you, Isabella.”

My heart warmed at his words. A few weeks ago I would have reveled in those words, but now it was torture. My heart was calling out for him, but my head was warning me against giving into my emotions again. Every time I did that, I made it more difficult to pull myself away from him.

“And I'm sorry I rocked up at your place unannounced, but I didn't know what else to do.”

He looked up and his sad eyes met mine. “Alvaro asked me to go check on our mother earlier today. She went back home after staying with him and I needed to make sure she was okay with being alone.”

I had completely forgotten about everything that happened with his parents. So much had happened over the last few weeks that it never occurred to me that this was still a situation in his life to be dealt with. I relaxed my arms and walked over to the counter, placing my bag back down.

“Turns out my mother is also having an affair.” He looked away.

No. Way.

“As I arrived, I saw her at the top of the stairs kissing someone who was not my father.”

I couldn't contain the shock that spread across my face. My hand covered my mouth as I tried to process what he just told me. He caught his father and now his mother being unfaithful and suddenly his behaviour made sense to me. He had never been one to have a healthy outlet for his emotions. He was impulsive and self-destructive. He was in a fit rage when he caught his father. He had so much that he hadn't dealt with and catching his father again when he did just made it all worse. I couldn't imagine what it must have been like to catch his mother. The person who was closest to him and the very person he worked so hard to protect.

“Giovanni, I'm sorry,” I murmured.

“And I know that we're broken up,” His voice was laced with sadness. “But you were there for me in Valencia and I just didn't know who else to turn to.”

That was the last straw for me. I couldn't hold back my emotions any longer and I walked over to him, positioning myself in between his legs as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He buried his head in my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my waist. Nothing felt more right than being able to hold him again. He held onto me tighter and I allowed myself to be consumed by my feelings for him again. I had worked so hard to push it away but it was proving to be a very trying task.

“Does your mother know you were there?” I asked softly.

“No,” he murmured into my shoulder. “I left before anyone realized I was there.”

He pulled away to face me, but still kept his arms around me. “I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.”

“There are no instructions on how you're supposed to feel.” I brought my hand up to cup his cheek. “You just feel what you feel.”

His eyes were brimming with sadness and I wanted to take it all away. I hated the hollowness in those deep brown eyes of his. There was no life in them and it killed me that I had contributed to that. I watched how it broke him when I broke up with him. It was the worst thing I had ever done but what was I supposed to do? I couldn't be a stepmother. I couldn't be a part of him and Casey bringing a baby into the world. I knew myself and I knew that would be something I wouldn't be able to handle. My heart was broken too and I had yet to figure out what I was going to do to pick up the pieces.

“My family is a fuck up,” he muttered.

I pulled myself away from him and reached for an empty glass. I placed it on the counter and took the cold water out of his fridge again. I filled it up and handed it to him. He took it and quickly downed the water.

I leaned against the counter across from him. “No family is perfect.”

“No, they aren't and that's the problem.”

“Have you told Alvaro?” I asked.

He shook his head. “I came to find you as soon as it happened.”

A small part of me was happy that I was his comfort. Things went wrong and I was the first person he turned to. I always wanted it to be that way.

You broke up with him, Isabella.

The rational voice in my head continued to whisper that over and over again to remind me of the reality of the situation. It was easy to forget what was going on when it was just him and I. Outside of this apartment, there were so many reasons to keep us apart, but when it was just the two of us, it was easy to forget them all.

“I think you should tell him,” I suggested.”You shouldn't have to deal with this by yourself.”

“I'll leave him a message and ask him to come by tomorrow.”

He reached for the cupboard door above the counter and pulled out a bottle of whiskey.

“Don't you think you've had enough to drink?” I asked softly.

He placed the bottle on the counter and turned to face me. “Nothing else helps.”

“You're not going to find the answers at the bottom of the bottle, Giovanni.”

“You'd be surprised what you can find.” He pulled two glasses from the cupboard. “You want one?”

Any other day I would have rejected his offer, but I couldn't disagree that it certainly took the edge off. I extended my hand and he handed me a glass. I wasn't big on whiskey, but I could do with anything that would make me forget our new reality. I brought it to my lips and the bitterness spread across my tongue.

“How can you drink this?” I muttered, pulling a face at the strong taste.

He shrugged and brought his glass to his lips, taking a small sip.

“You know this doesn't help right?” I repeated, knowing I was trying to convince myself of this, too.

“I don't need something that helps right now. I just want to forget everything.” he sighed. “Don't you wish you could just forget?”

I brought my glass to my lips again. “Of course I do.”

He flicked his eyes to meet mine and I had never longed for anything more. I wanted to forget everything that had happened between us. I wanted to go back to the day he told me he loved me. Hearing those three words made me happier than I ever realized I could be. I would give anything to go back to that.

He placed his glass on the counter and walked over to me. “I'm sorry for how I spoke to you earlier. I shouldn't have acted like that. You don't deserve that.”

I lifted my eyes to meet his. “It's okay.”

He stepped closer to me. “I hated seeing you with Lorenzo.”

“We're just friends,” I murmured.

He lifted his hand and ran his thumb across my cheek as his hand cupped my face. “I don't want to see you with anyone else, Isabella.”

My breath caught in my throat. He was standing so close to me that I could smell that cologne of his. I couldn't help but breathe him in. He leaned closer, allowing stray strands of his hair to fall forward. He was inches from me now and my body was burning to have him closer. My eyes met his and I could see his desire mirrored my own but instead of making another move, he dropped his hand.

“I'm sorry,” he murmured.

I shook my head. “It's okay.”

“It's so difficult to have you so close to me and know that I can't rip your clothes off right now.”

The desire deep within the pit of my stomach was screaming at me to hand myself over to him. Hearing those words roll off his tongue caused an aching pressure between my legs and I didn't know how I was going to pull myself away from him.

“And I know I shouldn't do this but fuck it.” He reached out and cupped my face again, bringing his lips to meet mine.

I should have pushed him away. We were broken up and we couldn't keep doing this to each other, but I was in no position for any rational thinking right now. My body was calling out for him so I kissed him back. His hands found my hair as I flicked my tongue over his. It was exhilarating to be able to do this again. I knew it was wrong - fucking wrong to be exact, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't help that my body and heart called out for him. No matter how much I convinced myself I could be without him, I was afraid that would never be true. His hand left my hair and traveled down to my coat, pushing it back as I allowed it to slip off me onto the floor. My hands found his hair as his lips moved down to my neck. I threw my head back and basked in the way he was making my body feel. My arousal shot through my veins melting away any thoughts warning me that this was a bad idea. I couldn't concentrate on anything else, but the feeling of his lips against my skin. I pushed him against the counter as I brought my lips back to his with a new sense of urgency. I leaned against him and felt him come alive. My hands ran down his body and pushed under his shirt. I wanted more of him. I needed more of him.

Before I could take this any further, my phone started to ring, breaking me out of the bubble of desire I had found myself in. I pulled away from him, both of us breathing heavily.

“You want to get that?” he asked.

I leaned over the counter to my bag and pulled my phone out, Reyna's name flashing across my screen. I stared at it, contemplating whether I should answer or not. In that moment, my voice of reason managed to push its way to the front, screaming at me to stop whatever it was I was going to do with Giovanni. I couldn't answer Reyna right now without having to explain myself to her again so I placed my phone back down and allowed the call to go to voicemail.

“I'm sorry,” Giovanni said softly.

I turned to face him. “We can't keep doing this to each other, Giovanni.”

“I know.”

The right thing to do would have been to walk away. I should leave and go back home because I knew that what we were doing was only making things worse on each other. I was allowing myself to continue to give in to the overwhelming love I had for him. Even now, it consumed me to the point where I felt I couldn’t breathe. Seeing how overcome with sadness he was, was killing me inside. I couldn't just turn away from him. My heart wouldn't allow it.

“But I don't want to leave right now,” I admitted.

His eyes lit up. “You don't have to.”

“But you can't kiss me again,” I warned. “I want to be here for you but not like that. We're not together anymore.”

“Fine.”

“I'm serious.”

I didn't want to say it. I didn't want him to stop kissing me. It was taking all the self-control I had left to not throw myself at him, but I had to stand my ground. We were broken up and we had to start acting that way. Nothing was going to change.

“Fine, I won't kiss you again. Not until you tell me that's what you want.”

My stomach flipped with butterflies. Of course, I wanted him to kiss me - all day, every day, but I couldn't give into that.

“I won't.”

I was trying to convince myself that I could stick to that. I was adamant.