More Than This by Dominique Wolf

CHAPTER 54:

Isabella

W

e sat in that waiting room for hours.

I was losing track of how long we just sat waiting for answers. Each moment that passed was torture. I was drowning in pain and every time I tried to reach for air, the reality of what was happening kept pulling me further and further from it. I was sick to my stomach with guilt. I felt so guilty that I left Giovanni this morning. I felt guilty that this whole time I was trying to figure out if our relationship was going to last or if I was going to walk away for good. Now, I didn't care about any of that. I didn't care about any of the reasons for us not to be together. I just needed to be with him. I loved him in a way that consumed every part of me. With his witty charm and seductive confidence. The way he would throw his head back in laughter, displaying the deep dimple in his left cheek. His spontaneous and care-free energy that I always found contagious. The way he would pull me into his arms and tell me how much he loved me. He had a raw sex-appeal to him but I had come to fall in love with his heart. The same heart that cared for everyone around him more than himself. He was too good for this world. How could I have ever wanted to give him up?

Now, I would give anything just to have another moment with him.

Giovanni's parents arrived shortly after I did and I couldn't hold my emotions back when I saw Marcina's grief-stricken face. She cried into my shoulder, repeating over and over again how she needed her son to be okay. Cecilio was still in shock but I could see the fear in his eyes. It was the most emotion I had ever seen him show. Sergio and Katrina were the next to arrive after Reyna called them to tell them what had happened. Both of them threw their arms around me when they arrived, trying to console me and repeating that everything would be fine. Each passing moment without a word from the doctors was killing me. I was curled up on the chair in the corner, staring into the distance. I was starting to feel numb again. There was no pain - I couldn't allow there to be. Every time it seeped into my heart, I felt it shatter over and over again. The possibility that the doctor could walk up to us now and tell us that they did everything they could, but they couldn't save him.

That could not happen.

I couldn't lose Giovanni. He was everything to me and I couldn't believe it took me this long to realise that. It took him having to be in an accident for me to get the wake-up call that I needed. I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to him. The regret I was feeling from walking away from him was all-consuming. The guilt of constantly putting him through the back and forth of whether I could accept this new change in his life. All of that was a mere speck in our universe. I needed him more than I had ever needed anyone before.

I couldn't lose him.

“Señor y señora Velázquez?” an older doctor said, bringing me out of my own thoughts.

I jerked my head up as I watched Giovanni's parents stand up and walk over to the doctor standing in dark blue scrubs. He was a much older gentleman with a kind face. He continued to speak to them in Spanish and I looked over to Alvaro for a translation - the anticipation was killing me.

“He says that there was some internal bleeding due to the blunt trauma to his spleen that caused his abdomen to swell.”

He listened intently as the doctor continued.

“They managed to remove the spleen and the swelling has been reduced.”

“That's a good sign.”

I slowly started to breathe a sigh of relief, but still waited in fear over if he was going to be okay or not. That was all I needed to hear. I didn't care about any of the medical lingo. I just needed to know that the love of my life was going to make it out of here alive.

“He's got a broken leg and he is in ICU now, but the doctor thinks the worst is over and he should be fine.”

Marcina turned to Cecilio and cried tears of relief into his shoulder. I collapsed back against the chair, bringing my knees to my chest as I allowed my own tears to fall.

Oh my God, thank you.

Reyna's arms came around me, pulling me closer to her as I continued to cry. I was crying out of relief. I was so consumed by the fear that I could have lost him that I didn't even know how to breathe. I had never felt pain like that before and the fact that he was going to be okay was all I needed to hear.

He needed to be okay.

That was all I cared about right now.

“Can we see him?” I asked Alvaro.

Alvaro turned to the doctor and asked my question. The doctor nodded and proceeded to say something further in Spanish. Alvaro thanked him before turning back to me.

“They're moving him into ICU so we should be able to see him before we leave, but they're still waiting for him to wake up.”

“That's okay,” I answered quickly. “I just need to see him.”

I tapped my nails against the armrest of the chair as I waited for them to give us the go-ahead that we could go and see him. I was full of nerves and I just needed to see Giovanni. Just one glance at him and everything would be better now that we knew he would be okay. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and that I wasn't going anywhere.

Not now. Not ever.

***

After what felt like forever to me, we finally got the go-ahead from the doctor that Giovanni had been successfully moved to ICU and we could go and see him.

“Isabella?” Penelope's voice brought me out of my thoughts and I glanced up at her. “We can go in now.”

I turned to Marcina and Cecilio. “You should go in first.”

Marcina's eyes were full of tears as she reached out and squeezed my hand before standing up. I was dying to see him, but I had to let his parents go first. I was scared of what I was going to see when I went inside. He was in a car accident and with the injuries they were explaining, he was probably in so much pain. It made my heart ache at the idea of him in pain.

A little while later, Giovanni's parents stepped outside of the ward, Cecilio's arms still around his wife as he consoled her.

“Isabella, you can go in.” Alvaro said softly.

I nodded and stood up, taking a deep breath in before taking off down the hall. My heart was beating at an incessant pace as I tried to calm myself down. I pushed myself through the doors and was surrounded by the sound of constant beeping from the machines. There were a couple other patients in the ward, but the nurse pointed me to his bed in the corner. I turned and started to approach his bed, my breath getting caught in my throat as he came into view. He was hooked up to so many machines around him. He had a plastic pipe in his nose and his hand was resting on his stomach, displaying the pipe that the drip was hooked up to. His leg was in a cast and was elevated by the material hanging from the roof. He had marks and dried blood on his face along his cheek and I couldn't hold back my emotion any longer. I allowed the tears to escape from my eyes as I pulled the chair closer to his bed. I was thankful for the small rising and falling of his chest.

He was alive and that was all that mattered to me.

“Giovanni, I don't know if you can hear me,” I started, my voice full of emotion. “I can't apologize enough for everything. I am sorry for walking away from you. I am sorry for leaving this morning and for telling you I needed some time. I don't need any time.”

The tears were streaming down my face as I gently tightened my grip around his warm hand.

“When Reyna told me you were in an accident,” my voice cracked. “I have never felt pain like that before. I just needed you to be okay and now you're going to be and I take it all back. I want to be with you. I have never loved anyone like I have you, Giovanni.”

I leaned my forehead against his hand. “I don't care about any of the other shit we have to deal with, I can't imagine living without you.”

I didn't know if he could hear what I was saying, but I needed to get it out. I needed to apologize and remind him of how much I loved him. It's crazy how one life changing moment can put everything into perspective. I didn't want to waste another moment being without him.

He is the love of my life.

“So, I'm going to be here when you wake up. I'm going to be here tomorrow and every day after that.”

I brought my eyes up to his face. The beautiful face I love so much that was now covered in marks. There was a deep cut under his left eye and I reached out and brushed my fingers over it. The sight of him in pain brought on another wave of emotion. I cupped his face, the feeling of his rough beard brushed up against my hand.

“I love you so much, Giovanni,” I murmured. “And I'm never going to leave you again.”