Taken by E.M. Leya

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Ben sat up as he heard a phone ring. It wasn't his usual ringtone. He took a second to clear his head before remembering the burner phone Trenton's team had given him. Tossing back the covers, he rushed across the room to where he'd stashed it behind several books on a shelf. He pulled it out and quickly hit the button to answer. "Hello?"

"Ben, it's Xander." The deep voice was just as he remembered it.

"Everything okay?" He glanced at the clock on his nightstand seeing it was almost five in the morning."

"I'm not sure, but I wanted to give you an update. The SWAT team went into the mansion last night. They arrested everyone and took the hostages out. There were two officers shot, but they are going to be fine. I was told there were deaths of both guards and hostages, but as of right now, we don't know who."

"Trenton?" Ben's chest tightened.

"We're not sure yet. We're at the hospital where they are bringing many of the adults. Three are here already, two in surgery, but the hospital doesn't have any identification on any of them. We're hoping to talk to the surgeon when he's done and show him a picture of Trenton, and also have left one at the nurse's station in the E.R. so they will know who to contact when others come in."

"Shit." Ben sank down on his bed. Then it hit him what Xander had said. "SWAT went in?"

"It was safer that way since it was such a big operation. We had a friend who wasn't too happy when he heard about your sting operation going on for so long. He was even angrier when he heard about the chief and his activities. He was more than happy to override certain orders and take a team in. So, as far as tonight went, my group was not involved. We're in the dark on everything just like you are."

Ben tried to think. He wasn't going to bother going into work and have to deal with explaining everything in interviews all day. The time would come for that. His job was all but gone anyway. He wouldn't go back to working undercover after all this. "Any idea who I can talk to? I don't really want to call my boss and check-in just in case he's in on it with the chief."

"I'll pass your name on to the guy and he can take it from there."

"Thanks, as for now, can you please keep me updated on Trenton once you know anything?" He wanted to rush to the hospital, but he really didn't belong there. He was nobody to Trenton. The team was his family and they were the ones he'd want to see. He wouldn't blame Trenton for never wanting to see him again. After all he'd been through, he was sure Trenton would want to block all memories of the last few weeks from his mind.

"Sure thing. Sorry to wake you, but I wanted to give you a heads up before you walked into a circus."

"I appreciate that." Ben smiled. "I know you guys didn't go in, but you set all this up. Thank you. You saved a lot of people. Give me a call later once you hear more."

"We will, and don't forget you played a role in saving them as well. Talk soon." The line went dead.

There wasn't a chance he would sleep after that call, so Ben stumbled to the kitchen to make coffee, making sure to keep the cell phone with him. He hated not knowing details. In his mind, he played out a million different ways the SWAT team could have entered. He thought about all of the children and prayed none of them were among the dead.

On the positive side, a lot of families would be reunited with their kids over the next few days. He hated to think about what kind of problems they might have after their experience, but he hoped there were a lot of people like Katie out there to help them get through it. Hell, maybe he should take Katie up on her offer to talk so he could work out his own demons. After the last few months, he had plenty of them.

Now that the job was done, things could change. He could move out of this shit-hole apartment he'd taken when he'd taken on the new identity. He could pull his nice things out of storage and get another apartment, or hell, maybe even buy a house finally. He wasn't sure if he wanted to stay in California, but there would be time to decide that. It would take time to readapt to his old identity and deal with the fallout and paperwork that he was going to face after this fucked up operation.

Sitting at the old, beat-up kitchen table, he realized how alone he was. There wasn't anyone to call and talk to about all this, not that he could. The things he'd seen would stay with him, and other than the reports he'd have to file, no one would know of the horrible things he'd seen and had to do over the last few months. More than anything, he just wished he had someone to call and be himself with. Someone he could laugh with and talk to. Someone to just call up and let them know he was done with his undercover work and could hang out again.

How had he let his life get so empty? Working undercover had consumed him, and in doing so, he'd never formed any true friendships with anyone. He was always moving, working, playing another role. Usually, one he couldn't risk putting others in danger from being around him.

Frustrated, he poured one more cup of coffee and headed back to the bedroom. He needed a shower. He had no clue if he'd have to report in today. Not contacting his captain went against everything he'd been trained to do, but something in his gut told him his captain was neck-deep in the trafficking ring. He'd wait for Xander's contact to get hold of him and hope for the best. The worst-case was he was fired from a job he already planned on quitting. Still, that left him with a full day of nothing but wait and worry that Trenton made it out alive. He hated hearing any of the hostages died, but he hadn't let himself get to know any of the others. Why he'd been drawn to Trenton didn't make sense. It had to be how unlike the others Trenton had been. He questioned everything, watched everyone. He never looked defeated.

Leaving his coffee to cool on the dresser, he headed into the shower. Maybe he'd go for a run later today and work off some energy. There was no way he was going to sit around the house and just wait for information. It would drive him crazy. He needed to keep busy.

As he showered, he thought more about his sins over the last few months. No, he'd never raped anyone, and he'd done his best to treat them with respect without giving away he was undercover, but he still had been compliant in so much under the vise of doing his job. Where was that line of right and wrong? It felt as if he should be facing charges for the horrors everyone being held had gone through. Thank God, he hadn't worked upstairs and had to witness so much more. He felt for the officer who had that job. Then again, maybe everyone but him was involved. He couldn't have been the only one speaking out, looking for this all to end, could he? It sure felt like he had been. Even in brief meetings with the others, they seemed fine with the delays and letting things go on for a few more months. None of them had argued when extensions were discussed, but he had.

God, it was so frustrating. He hated not having answers. Not knowing what was going on. He was glad Xander had called to warn him, but he was almost tempted to show up at work this morning just so he could have an idea what was going on. It was the thought of hours of interrogation that kept him from doing that.

As he stepped out of the shower and towel-dried his hair, he decided a run was exactly what he needed. Pulling on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, he locked the house and started to run down the sidewalk. He'd head to the park about a mile down the road, then run laps around it until he was so tired, he couldn't think about his sins anymore.