Twisted Love by Summer Cooper
17
Keily
“Logan’s a king in his world, Keily, and you have to face it, you’re just a commoner,” Rosa spoke as gently as she could, but she made her point.
“I guess you’re right.” Keily sighed and looked down at her phone. It had been three weeks now since Logan had left her silently in the night. Three long weeks of a text here and there and delivered gifts. Keily didn’t want his gifts, she wanted him.
“And stop looking at your phone, it’s making me sad.” Rosa gestured at the phone on Keily’s coffee table with a frown that did little to mar how pretty the other woman was.
“Well, how’s your life?” Keily asked, an obvious change of subject but one that needed to be made.
“No, ma’am, we’re going to talk this out, and then we can talk about my life.” Rosa shook her head and settled into the other end of the couch, her bare feet tucked under her bottom.
“I don’t want to talk about my life anymore.” Keily knew it came out as a whine but couldn’t help the tone. She felt lost, alone, without Logan.
“But you must, my dear,” Rosa said, putting on the airs of an old Hollywood actress. “You must release this negative energy and bring positive energy into your soul.”
Keily laughed and rolled her eyes. “Stop. He’s not all bad, you know.”
“I didn’t mean he was negative energy.” Rosa popped out immediately. “I mean the negative energy he brings to you. The negative responses you have to how much of a dick he is. You know he’s a dick.”
“But he’s my dick. And he’s not always a dick. I mean, look at all the positive he’s brought to King’s Hill. This place was dying a year ago and now it’s coming back to life. People have jobs, new places are opening up, and it’s not all bad you know? He makes me smile when he’s with me.”
“That’s because all you do is fuck, talk about work, and fuck some more. I’d smile too if I had that much sex.” Rosa was the one that rolled her eyes this time.
“That’s not all we do.” Keily protested, but Rosa wasn’t completely wrong. They did have a lot of sex. A lot. But there were times they talked. She was probably the only one in town who knew he was an only child, for instance. “Besides, what do you do with that couple of yours?”
She wasn’t about to spill anything that Logan had told her, not even to Rosa. Not about his private life anyway.
“I see you trying to change the subject again, honey.’ Rosa said with a smirk. Dressed in dark blue denim shorts and a white tank top, she was the epitome of summer fashion in King’s Hill.
Keily had on her usual oversized slouchy t-shirt, this time in a sapphire blue with silver stars dotted around it. She’d ordered dozens of them when she found out how soft and comfortable they were.
“I’m not, I’m just making a point. It’s not all sex and he’s not the ogre you think he is. At least, not to me.”
“Then why am I sitting on your couch and not him?” This time Rosa punctuated her point with a lifted eyebrow and pursed lips.
“I thought you liked that I was with him.” Keily couldn’t figure out why Rosa was anti-Logan all of a sudden.
“I do, I did, but he’s causing you pain now and that I don’t like.”
“Hmph.” Keily couldn’t argue with that.
He was causing her pain. Pain she didn’t want to admit to. She was supposed to be the player here, wasn’t she? She was the trophy-wife/mistress that she’d always wanted to be, but turns out, that wasn’t the life she’d wanted after all. She wanted more than that and deep down she knew she’d never have that with Logan.
“It’s hard to want a real relationship while maintaining your independence, isn’t it?” Keily mused aloud, knowing she’d get an answer, whether she really wanted one or not.
“It isn’t, not with the right person. Logan gives you the independent part, but not the commitment and that’s why you’re in trouble now.” Rosa leaned over to pick up the glass of wine that was left over from the dinner of delivery pizza they’d shared earlier. “You started out wanting nothing more than what he gave you. The trouble is you want more now. Logan isn’t that kind of man.”
“He’s not, is he?” She swiped at the tears that brimmed over her eyes, angry at herself for getting into this mess. “But stupid me, here I am, wanting what I can’t have. Actually, that’s not that unusual for me.”
Keily had never admitted to how much she’d lied to get the job as Logan’s personal assistant to anyone and she wasn’t about to now. Still, she knew that lie had led her to where she was now so maybe it was time to rethink her strategy on how to approach life.
“How’s school going?” Rosa finally changed the subject, her brows knitted as she looked over at her friend.
“It’s good, really. It keeps me busy and I’m working on an idea that I’d like to talk with Logan about, but you know, he’s not around.” Keily rolled her eyes and took a drink from her glass filled with red wine.
“What is it?” Rosa let the subject change carry on, even if Keily had mentioned the man again.
“It’s a self-defense perfume. I’ve just got to work out a few kinks.” Keily went over to get a notebook from the dining table and brought it back. “It would put off a powerful smell if the wearer was attacked, enough that it might convince the attacker to leave the person alone.”
“You mean like skunk spray?” Rosa looked doubtful, but she didn’t say it was a stupid idea. Even if the look on her face told Keily it was.
“I hadn’t thought about that, but yeah, I guess it is. Only you’d always have it on, you wouldn’t have to pull out a canister or press a button.”
“But wouldn’t it activate if you’re at a club where it’s all hot and steamy, especially if you’re dancing? Wouldn’t that trigger a response?”
“That’s my problem. I have to do more research on pheromones, body temperatures, whether there are differences in reactions to fear or excitement, what if the wearer was in a car accident and had the perfume on? I think I might have to pan the idea, but I thought I’d like to do something that’s in line with the products Logan produces.” Keily shrugged and turned a page in the notebook. “I also need to figure out if there’s even a way to produce a reaction like that with perfume. I don’t know, maybe I should just give up and try to find a job as an executive personal assistant again.”
“No, don’t do that, Keily. Don’t talk yourself down from something that brings you to life this much.” Rosa’s stern voice drew Keily’s eyes up from the notebook. “Your whole life people have used you and thrown you away. Nobody has ever loved you. Your parents used you for money, Joe used you as a fashion accessory, your sister used you as a babysitter, and Logan has used you too. For sex. And now he seems to be throwing you away. All of them are the stupid ones if you ask me.”
“To be fair, Violet did let me live with her.” Keily pointed out, but Rosa shook her head.
“No, honey, she still wanted to use you. Okay, so it sounds like you were a complete and utter bitch to her, but still. You’ve tried to make amends and she’s still mad that you wouldn’t babysit. That doesn’t sound like love.”
“I might have said some mean things to her…” Keily admitted, not for the first time.
“Keily, you’re what, twenty-five? What 25-year-old hasn’t said mean things? Or am I just hating everybody because it seems like I’m the only person in your life that’s ever loved who you are? Who you really are.” Rosa reached out with her right hand and took Keily’s left hand in hers. “I do love who you are. I love that you’re a fighter, that you’re independent, and that you’re a bitch, but you’re willing to learn not to be one and to admit when you’re wrong.”
“Not always.” Keily started but then did a weird little sob-laugh as she looked up at her friend, touched by what Rosa had said. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, it’s true. You’re willing to change but you need to stop changing to try to be what you think people want you to be.” Rosa let go of her hand and leaned back against the couch again. “You have to learn to be you all the time, Keily.”
“I know.” Keily sighed and looked away again.
“Don’t let him break your heart, Keily, please. I’d hate to see that happen.” Rosa said after a quiet moment. Keily glanced up, seeing her own thoughts in her friend’s face. It was too late for that.
Her heart was already breaking.
It had never really been broken before. She’d been upset about her parents, Violet, and Joe. But heartbroken? No, she hadn’t felt this pain, this fear that she felt after Logan had avoided her for three weeks. Was it over and he just couldn’t tell her? She didn’t want to think about it anymore.
“Well, you have a late date to get to, so I’ll stop blubbering in your lap and let you get home to get ready.” Keily laughed a little to let Rosa know she was okay. “Not that you need to do much, you’re beautiful as you are.”
“You’re such a flatterer.” Rosa leaned over to hug Keily with a little laugh of her own. “Will you be alright?”
“I’ll be fine,” Keily answered quickly. Maybe too quickly. She would be though, she had plenty of homework to do and that would fill the quiet hours.
For now, all she could do was focus her energy on the classes and hope that Logan would let her know, one way or another, that this was either over or he’d come back to her.
“I hope so. But, if you need me, call me, alright? I’ll come right over. No matter what it is you need.” Rosa hugged her a little tighter before she let go and stood up. “I’ll call you tomorrow, either way.”
“I’ll be waiting.” Keily stood up to see Rosa out and waved as the other woman walked down the sidewalk.
She was alone again. Alone with her thoughts, her worry, and her sadness. It was eating her alive, this overwhelming feeling of loss. The first week she was able to brush off her worries, able to ignore the niggling feeling of doubt. Logan had left in the night, without a word, but she’d ignored the sting of that until week two.
Now, she was on week three and found herself crying at the drop of a hat.
What the hell was wrong with her?
This being nice thing had taken a toll on her, she knew that much. She used to have a cold heart that cared little about others and didn’t let people disappearing from her life bother her. Now she was…heartbroken.
Was she actually in love with Logan? Was that it? Had being nice, changing her ways, and acting like a real human being, not the robot her mother wanted and trained her to be, royally fucked her up? Her phone chimed and her heart fluttered.
It was the sound she’d assigned to Logan.
How are you? His text read.
Frowning, she stabbed at the keyboard. Fine.
Good to hear.
Good to hear? Good to fucking hear? Her blood felt as if it had started to boil in her veins and her face went hot as anger flooded through her. Good to hear? He hadn’t even bothered to call to actually hear her say it. He’d sent another text message.
She put her phone down to keep herself from typing something she might regret.
Words like ‘go fuck yourself’, ‘don’t bother’, and ‘I’m done with you’ might come out. Words she’d said to Joe when she was angry with him, but not words she wanted to say to Logan. Alright, she did, she felt like saying them would release some of this hurt and anger, but would it accomplish anything?
The phone chimed again.
What’s wrong? The message asked.
I miss you. I want to see you. It’s been three weeks, Logan. Why are you avoiding me? Do you hate me now?
She typed the message out with a swipe of her fingers, fixed the words auto-correct decided were meant to be other words, then hit send. And waited.
I’ll drop by later this evening.
The rage ebbed away, as did the hurt, forced out of her body by the happy pounding of her heart. He would be over. Tonight. Thank fuck.
Great, I’ll be waiting.
And she would be, she decided. She ran into the bathroom after she cleared away the signs of the dinner she’d shared with Rosa, took a shower, and did her hair and makeup. Her hair was in lustrous golden curls down her back and her makeup perfectly highlighted her light gray eyes. They’d been the color of an angry rainstorm over the last few weeks, but now that Logan was coming over, their shade had lightened with her mood.
She went to her lingerie drawer and looked inside. She took out the black silk and lace garter belt she’d found at a boutique, a pair of lacy black stockings, and a black lace bra. To the lingerie, she added a white silk robe that skimmed around her mid-thigh and his favorite pair of black heels. She didn’t need anything else, she decided, until she spotted the pendant on a fine gold chain that he’d sent her earlier in the week. A butterfly cast in gold with tiny diamonds accenting the wings.
She’d always loved butterflies and had thought the gift was wonderful, if unnecessary. But she’d wear it tonight. For him.
There were no moments lost on second-guessing herself or castigating herself for being his toy. She wanted to be with him, however that happened. She didn’t know if she loved him, if she was capable of loving anyone, except Rosa of course, but she thought…maybe she did.
Memories of their time together flooded into her brain as she waited, another glass of wine in her hand. She wanted to relax before he got there, unwind some so that she wouldn’t come off like some needy schoolgirl with her first boyfriend. By the time she finished the drink the sun had disappeared and she was nodding off to the soft music playing in the background.
It was after 10 pm, but he’d said later this evening. That could be any time at all. Just because he hadn’t arrived yet didn’t mean he’d bailed on her. Maybe she’d just have a little nap, she decided, as the alcohol in the wine tugged her into a peaceful sleep. She’d barely slept over the last week, even though she needed the rest to do her homework with any kind of ability. She’d turned in a few assignments with misspellings, but her instructors had let it pass.
When she woke up at 2 am, needing the bathroom, she knew he wasn’t coming. She looked at her phone, disappointment bringing tears to her eyes. She cleaned her face, changed into a nightgown, and went to bed. Alone.
Why had he lied to her?
