Cruel Surrender by Terri Anne Browning

Ciana

Between spendingthe morning soaking up the sun’s rays and then the afternoon with Torin in bed, I’d been close to comatose as it was. But then he’d started massaging my back, and I’d melted into the bed.

“Best vacation ever,” I said with a sleepy grin as he pressed his huge hands into my shoulders with the perfect amount of pressure. “Let’s stay on this island forever.”

His hands paused. “Is that what you really want, mo chroí?” he rasped, his breath blowing lightly against my hair.

My smile faded, replaced by a kind of nervousness I couldn’t ever remember feeling. The past ten days had been a dream. I’d been telling myself it was just the magic of the island, but deep down, I knew the truth. It was Torin. I hadn’t told him that, of course. Even though I’d agreed not to think past our time together, I’d still reminded myself daily not to get caught up in the moment. This couldn’t go beyond my vacation. We had separate lives, in completely different countries. On different continents, for fuck’s sake. Long-distance relationships didn’t last, and I wasn’t the type to chase after a guy.

But no matter how much I’d told myself not to catch feelings, my heart hadn’t listened. Now I only had a few days left of my vacation, and I felt sick thinking about having to leave without him. It wasn’t just because we’d spent the majority of our time getting lost in how we could drive each other crazy in bed. We’d spent hours telling each other our greatest fears and our dreams of the future. He knew more about me than any other person—even Ryan. And he hadn’t judged me or thought I was a silly little girl as I’d always feared others would if they knew so much about what really went on in my mind.

Gathering my courage, I lifted my head and glanced at him over my shoulder. His hair was pulled back with one of my hair ties, his jaw clean-shaven like usual. He was wearing a pair of boxer briefs and a black T-shirt. He still hadn’t let me see his back, and I couldn’t help imagining what his shirt hid, or how painful it must be for him to still be unable to share it with me. He told me a little about how it had been with his mother before her death, and I had been unable to keep from comparing his experience to that of Ryan’s when he was little more than a toddler. Having seen the scars on my cousin’s body that still remained from where his mother had burned him, I wondered if Torin’s mother had left physical scars on him too.

The hopefulness on his face when I met his gaze eased some of my nervousness and gave me courage. I loved how open and vulnerable he was with me, letting me see sides of him he swore no one else ever had—or ever would. “I mean it,” I confessed. “I don’t want to leave here…without you.”

“I could buy this for you…us,” he offered, and I couldn’t tell if he was teasing or being serious. “Say the word, and I’ll make this our new home.”

“We can’t live here,” I said with a soft laugh. “There are people waiting for us at home. We have jobs, responsibilities. Just because we’re blissed out right now doesn’t mean we should ignore or abandon those who need us.”

“I need you.” Something in his voice brought a lump to my throat. “We don’t have to abandon anything or anyone. If you miss your family, we will visit them as often as you wish.”

I dropped my head back down. “It’s just a fantasy anyway, Torin. The owner of this place makes bank on the resort. He’s not going to sell it. Besides, the people here depend on their jobs, and without guests at the resort, they wouldn’t have a job. If I lived here, I wouldn’t want to share it with strangers who came for their own vacations. I don’t want to put people out of work. Plus, there is no hospital here. No school. I want kids one day, and living here just wouldn’t work.”

He was quiet for a long moment, and I wondered if maybe I’d said something wrong. But then he started to rub my back again. “I can’t imagine my life without you in it now, Ciana,” he choked out. “I don’t want to leave here without you.”

“Me either,” I whispered.

“Then don’t return to New York. Come to Ireland with me.” Grasping my waist, he flipped me onto my back. He spread my thighs wide with his knees, making room for himself as he settled over me. “We will spend a little while there, and then we will go to your family. Explain that we met and fell in love, that we can’t live without each other. I—”

“Wait, wait, wait!” I cried, tears instantly filling my eyes.

His hazel eyes darkened. “I don’t like your tears, mo chroí. Why are you crying?”

I slapped a hand against his chest. “You love me?”

Brows pulled together, he looked down at me as if I’d lost my mind. “Of course I love you, Ciana. What man could meet you and not fall for you?” His jaw turned to stone. “It makes me want to lock you away behind the walls of one of my castles so no other man can try to steal you away from me.”

“I’m not opposed to living in a castle.” Realizing what I’d just said, I clamped my mouth shut. Fuck, what was I saying? This was absolutely nuts. I couldn’t possibly be considering going to Ireland with some guy I’d met less than two weeks before. My parents would kill me, not to mention Ryan would lose his mind. I wasn’t sure which would be scarier—my mother’s wrath or Ryan’s.

And the freaky part was, I was already trying to figure out a way to soothe them both because I really did want to go home with my sexy Irishman.

Torin’s eyes dilated. “You’ll come home with me, my beauty?”

I swallowed hard, already calling myself a hundred different types of fool, but I found myself nodding. “Do you think your family will like me?”

His grin looked more predatory than amused. “I’m sure you will grow on some of them.”

“That does nothing to relieve my nervousness over meeting your loved ones,” I muttered.

“You are my loved one, mo chroí.” He brushed his lips over my brow. “Will your family like me?”

I pressed my lips together, no longer nervous about meeting his family—not when the real battle would be introducing him to my own. “Um, I’m sure I can utilize Nova’s help and get them on board in no time.”

His laugh filled me with warmth. “I don’t care if they like me or not. As long as you love me, nothing else matters.”

My heart jumped into my throat. “I do love you, Torin,” I whispered.

A shuddery breath left him, and I thought I felt his entire body tremble, but then he kissed me. All I could think about was how good he tasted and how good he felt pressed into me the way he was. “Thank you,” he groaned. “I’ve been aching to hear you say those words from the moment I set eyes on you. The reality of it is so damn sweet, it unmans me.”

I cupped one side of his face, urging him to lift his head to meet my gaze. His hazel eyes were glazed with unshed tears. My own tears spilled over at seeing how emotional he was about something as simple as me confessing that I loved him. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you they love you before, Torin?”

He clenched his eyes closed. “My da a few times.”

“N-no one else?” The way he didn’t hesitate to shake his head tore at my heartstrings. “I promise to tell you I love you every day,” I vowed, stroking my fingers over his hard jaw. “Starting now. I love you. It’s crazy fast, but it’s real. I love you, and I don’t want us to be apart.”

“We won’t. Ever.” Reaching between us, he notched himself at my already dripping entrance. “Fuck, I would live in this pussy twenty-four seven if you would allow me.”

“I-I’m not stopping you,” I panted. He wasn’t even halfway inside me yet, and my orgasm was already building. “I love it when you’re deep inside me, Torin. You feel so good. So…right.”

He stiffened above me for a moment, but then he began to thrust into me harder. “You never use endearments with me. Why?”

“You want to talk about this…now?” I laughed, then moaned when he began playing with my clit.

“I want one that you will only ever use with me. I want it on your lips, not Torin.”

The intensity in his voice and on his face as he looked down at me was sufficient to clear my head just enough to realize he was legitimately upset about it. I wasn’t good at giving people nicknames or endearments. But if he wanted one…

Licking my lips, I waited for something to come to me, and I smiled up at him as soon as it entered my head. “Okay, moye solntse,” I murmured.

He stopped mid-thrust in confusion. “What does that mean?”

“It’s Russian for ‘my sun,’” I translated for him. “Because my life now revolves around you.” Inwardly, I cringed and mentally face-palmed. That was so freaking cheesy…yet completely true. In no time, my life had begun to revolve around this man to the point it hurt to imagine him not being with me every day.

“I’ve never heard you speak Russian before.” He lowered his head until he was nipping at my neck. “It’s sexy as fuck, mo chroí.”

“It’s your turn to translate. What does that mean?” He hadn’t translated his endearment for me yet, and I wanted to know what he’d been calling me. I could have done an internet search on my phone for the translation, but I wanted him to tell me.

He kissed up to my ear. “My heart.”

My nails sliced into his back through his shirt as my pussy walls clamped around him so hard he made a growling sound deep in his chest. I liked that—a lot, actually. Oddly enough, that was what Ryan called Nova in English…

Except he only ever used that—or any endearment, really—with her. Jealousy began to eat at me, and I angrily pushed at Torin’s chest. Rolling us, he landed on his back, and I sat up. He grasped my hips in his hands when I would have climbed off.

“Where do you think you are going, mo chroí?”

“How often do you use that endearment?” I gritted out, glaring down at him. His brow knitted in confusion. “That first night on the balconies, you said you use endearments with everyone. I want to know who else you call your heart, Torin Kennedy.”

His forehead instantly smoothed out, and he had the audacity to smile. “Are you jealous, my beauty?”

“Yes,” I seethed. “And while we’re at it, who else do you call ‘my beauty’? I want names.”

His laugh was so deep it vibrated through my entire body, making me clench around him involuntarily. “It’s a very short list.”

“I still want to know everyone on it.”

Gently cupping the back of my head, he pulled me down until our lips were almost touching. “Ciana Donati,” he breathed against my mouth.

“Don’t make fun of me,” I slapped at his chest, trying to put some distance between us. “Who else?”

“That’s all,” he said, turning serious when he realized just how upset I was. “You and only you. I swear it. That night, when I said I use endearments with everyone, I lied. You seemed upset with me for using them, and I didn’t want to make things worse, so I fibbed.”

All the jealousy and anger drained out of me at his confession. “Really?”

“I don’t toss around words I don’t mean, mo chroí.” He stroked my hair back from my face. “There has only ever been one woman to own my heart, and that is you.”

I melted into him, but I wasn’t completely satisfied yet. “What about one of your mistresses? You never claimed to love one of them just to get what you wanted?”

His snort was derisive. “I’m not the type of man who has to lie to get what I want. Before you, love was like a dirty word to me. If the woman warming my bed so much as hinted that she loved me, our agreement ended.” He trailed his fingers down my neck before settling directly over my wildly beating heart. “Then I saw you, and love didn’t seem like such a forbidden word any longer. You opened my heart, Ciana. It belongs to you just as surely as I do.”

“Torin—”

“No.” He stopped me with a firm shake of his head. “Call me your sun again. Only that from now on.”

I shifted on top of him, his hard cock still buried deep inside me. “I love you, moye solntse.”

His shaft thickened even more, causing me to moan. “I love you, mo chroí. So fucking much.”

There was something in his voice when he said it that pulled at my heart. A hint of desperation, perhaps, that made me want to pull him close and shield him from the world. It made me think that I was the only one lucky enough to see this vulnerable side of him, and I couldn’t help loving him more.