Cruel Surrender by Terri Anne Browning

Ciana

Not two hoursafter Torin left, I was already missing him. Even when we went our separate ways for the afternoon, I knew he was nearby. He would find a lounger on the beach close to my cabana and plant himself there until I was ready to go back to my room. Then he would follow me up after giving me a head start, and I would climb across the two balconies so we could spend the rest of the evening together.

With him gone, I felt…lost. It wasn’t something I was used to experiencing. I had too many good things in my life to feel adrift over something like not getting to see my boyfriend for a few days. There was plenty to do to keep distracted, but no matter what I did, my heart felt heavy and I couldn’t stop missing him.

Anxiously, I went down to the restaurant for dinner for the first time since arriving on the island. Milo and Ralph didn’t comment on it, just told the hostess to give us two tables.

“No,” I told her as I stepped around Ralph. “One is fine. Maybe a back corner table?”

She gave me a bright smile. “Of course. Right this way, please.”

Once we were seated, she promised our waiter would be with us shortly and handed us each a menu. I didn’t even open mine, already knowing what I wanted. The black truffle Parmesan spaghetti was my favorite. Torin had ordered it for me almost every night from room service, and I still hadn’t gotten tired of it. If anything, I seemed to be addicted to it.

Just as I was to the man.

I shifted restlessly, missing him so badly my heart literally felt like it had a ten-ton weight pressing on it. Ralph gave me a weird look, but it was Milo who commented on my inability to sit still. “Are you feeling all right, Ciana?”

“I’m fine,” I lied, picking up my water glass to have something to do. The two guards both gave me a skeptical look, and I grimaced. “Maybe I’m a little homesick.” Not exactly a lie. A person could be homesick for another person. Nova and Ryan alone were proof of that. When those two weren’t together, they made it seem like nothing was right with the world.

I was starting to understand that feeling.

A glance at my phone showed me that it had only been a handful of hours since Torin had left the island. If I was already feeling so lost without him, how was I going to survive the next few days?

“We can cut the trip short,” Ralph said. “A few calls and we can be in the air within an hour.”

“No!” I took a drink of my water to cover my sharp tone before giving him a tight smile. “No,” I repeated in a softer voice. “I’m not ready to go back to New York. It’s fine—I’m fine. After dinner, I’m just going to call it a day. I need an early night.”

“You’ve had an early night every day we’ve been here,” Ralph reminded me. “You spend more time in your room than on the beach. I swear you’ve slept more these past two weeks than you have your entire life.”

I clenched my fingers around the water goblet. These two thought I’d been vegging out in my room for most of the day, but I’d really been with Torin ninety-five percent of that time. Sleep was the last thing we tended to do. “Work has been exhausting,” I excused. “I’ve just been trying to recharge my batteries so I’m ready to get back to work next week.”

Milo’s eyes narrowed on me. “You don’t look recharged. You might have a nice glow going on from the afternoons in the sun, but you have darker circles under your eyes than when we first got here.”

“Are you dreading going back to work?” Ralph’s jaw hardened. “Is it that damn doctor? Has he been hitting on you?”

I frowned at the guard. Since when did he ask such personal questions? Milo had been my guard since I was ten, but Ralph had been put on my security detail when I was twenty-one. Like Milo, he’d stayed professional, only concerning himself with my well-being so he could report anything amiss to my parents or Ryan. But lately, things had felt different with him, and honestly, I wasn’t completely sure I was comfortable with it.

“Hitting on me?” I scoffed. With how I was feeling over Torin being gone, I wanted to put it down to my mind playing tricks on me. No way had Ralph sounded possessive just then. It was so absurd it was almost as funny as what he’d actually said. “Alan?”

Just the thought of Alan Berman hitting on me was hilarious. Not only was he a good thirty-two years older than me, he’d delivered my brothers, for goodness’ sake. I doubted the man even thought of me that way since he’d seen my mother’s lady parts up close and personal. On top of that, Alan was definitely not my type, even if he were to start trying to flirt with me or make a pass. Sure, he was rich, and I figured, as the leading ob-gyn in New York, he no doubt knew his way around female anatomy, but I didn’t go for the sugar daddy type.

“I’ve noticed the way that old perv looks at you,” Ralph said, his jaw popping as he glared at me. “If he’s giving you problems and you don’t feel comfortable going back to work, you don’t have to.”

Rolling my eyes, I took another drink of my water just as the waiter arrived. “Thank God,” I muttered under my breath, already regretting asking the guards to join me. “Hi,” I greeted with a beaming smile. “A bottle of Burgundy for the table, and I’ll have the black truffle Parmesan spaghetti.”

“Of course,” the waiter said with a returned smile. “And for you gentlemen?”

They both ordered steak, but while Milo said he was just sticking to water, Ralph asked for a double bourbon. From under the table, I felt Milo hook his foot around the leg of my chair and pull me a few inches closer to him, something that helped me feel a little more at ease when Ralph tossed back the bourbon like a shot when it was placed in front of him.

Milo and I shared a quick look where he gave me a firm shake of his head, alerting me he would take care of letting my father know that Ralph needed to be replaced. Not that it really mattered. Torin had told me he was getting me new security, some of his own men, which I assumed would be from the security company who handled his own detail. I didn’t know of a single billionaire who didn’t have at least one bodyguard.

When he got back, I’d let him know I wanted to bring Milo with us, but Ralph would definitely need to return to New York. Keeping Milo on would make my parents feel more at ease and hopefully stop them from freaking out as much when they found out I was going to be staying in Ireland for a while. It wasn’t that they disliked the country or all of the citizens who lived there. Just a small—albeit powerful—portion of them.

Still, Ralph had kind of reminded me about work and the fact that I wouldn’t be returning to New Hope since I was going to be with Torin. Despite how drained my job had made me, I was going to miss it. I loved working with people, helping and getting to know them. It was why I’d become a nurse. Of course, I’d always wanted to work in a hospital setting, but working with the patients at New Hope had been rewarding in its own way.

I wasn’t sorry I was giving it up, though. Being with Torin, that fulfilled me in a way I’d never imagined a relationship could. I’d dreamed of having what my parents had together, but it was Ryan and Nova’s relationship that had been something I’d thought I would never have. And Torin proved me wrong. I’d found my one, the person I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. My best friend, my soul mate. The man who made my heart ache just from being apart from him for a few hours.

I needed to thank those two for setting such impossible goals—and thank Torin for fulfilling them for me.

After dinner, I went straight back to my room. With how Ralph had been tossing back drinks while alternately frowning and glaring at me, I was glad to be away from him. Milo had been shooting him disgusted glances while we ate, but I doubted the other man had noticed. I was half tempted to call Ryan and let him know, but that was a big risk. My cousin might decide I needed to come home sooner than anticipated because of how my guard was acting so he could handle the man, but I wanted to wait for Torin to return.

Kicking off my heels, I walked out onto my balcony. I had the weird urge to go next door and crawl into Torin’s bed, wanting his scent to surround me so I could have the illusion that he was beside me. As I stood there debating, my phone rang. When I looked at it, my heart did a little leap seeing “Moye Solntse” on the screen.

“I thought you would still be in the air,” I said in greeting when I lifted the phone to my ear.

His sharp inhale made me smile. “The joys of Wi-Fi,” he murmured in that deep Irish brogue. “Miss me yet?”

“So much. I was actually about to go next door and crawl into your bed so that I could at least smell you while I sleep.”

“Do it,” he commanded. “But be careful climbing across.”

“Hold on a minute.” It took me no time to get across, and I lifted the phone back to my ear once I was on the other side. “There. Safe and sound.”

“Don’t get sassy with me, mo chroí,” he grumbled. “Worrying about your safety is second nature. I would die if anything happened to you.”

I just stood there, missing him even more. “When will you be back?”

“I can’t be sure, but it won’t be long, I promise. Now go inside, hug my pillow, and pretend like you are lying with your head on my chest.”

Pouting because I wanted a definitive answer on his return, I did as he instructed. Unzipping my dress, I put the phone on speaker and grabbed one of the shirts he’d left behind in his closet. I tossed my bra aside and then slipped on the shirt before pulling back the covers and crawling into the middle of the bed. His pillow was cool against my cheek and far too soft to remind me of his chest, but when I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, I could smell him, and some of the tension eased from my shoulders.

“Better?” he asked quietly.

“Mm-hm,” I mumbled, keeping the phone on the pillow close to my mouth.

“How was your evening?”

I sighed and lifted my lashes, staring at the wall. “It was meh,” I said after a moment, deciding to wait for his return to tell him about Ralph’s behavior. “Missing you makes everything kind of lackluster. The island doesn’t feel the same. Even dinner didn’t taste as good.”

“Fuck,” he groaned. “As soon as my feet are on the ground, I’ll make sure no one sleeps until everything is dealt with.”

“If you rush, then things could get blundered more,” I argued. “Take the time you need so it’s done right. That way, you don’t waste time or risk having to fly back to take care of it again.”

“Beautiful and reasonable,” he murmured.

“I’m just trying to be smart about this,” I told him with a roll of my eyes. “Plus, I’m greedy for your time. I don’t want you giving more than absolutely needed to anyone but me.”

“Even when we’re apart, you have all of my time,” Torin said earnestly. “You are on my mind every minute of the day, mo chroí.”

Smiling, I cuddled into his pillow a little deeper. “I’m not going to lie. That makes me ridiculously happy.”

“Your happiness is the only thing that matters to me, Ciana.”

“What would make me the happiest right now is if you stay on the phone until I fall asleep,” I told him with a yawn. “I’m so tired, it won’t take long, and the sound of your voice is so soothing.”

“Sleep, my beauty. I’m here as long as you need me.”

I sighed contentedly. “Keep talking. It will help me pretend you’re here.”

“Close your eyes. I am right there beside you. My fingers stroking up your bare back, drawing little circles on your shoulder blades. I can see the goose bumps already pebbling your petal-soft skin.”

His voice was pulling me toward sleep. My lashes lowered, too heavy to stay open any longer. “I love you.”

When he spoke again, his voice was raspier than usual, but I was almost asleep and missed the way it broke ever so slightly. “I love you, mo chroí.”