Sailor Proof by Annabeth Albert

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Derrick

“I knew this tub was good for something.” Arthur stretched like a happy puppy, his damp head falling back against my shoulder. We were wedged in the tub, him sitting in front of me, sudsy water surrounding us. I’d found a candle under the sink, and we’d lit it, keeping the room lights low so we could admire the moon over the lake through the window. “This was an excellent idea. Thanks.”

“You sure hinted enough all week.” I trailed my fingers down his ribs. The water smelled like the herbal bubble bath Arthur had dumped in. Years from now, I’d likely smell rosemary and be overcome with nostalgia, and I was okay with that as I wanted to do whatever I could to preserve this moment.

“I did, didn’t I?”

“You did.” I laughed because despite having fooled around in the shower earlier in the week, he had continued to remark how we’d both fit in the tub. He wasn’t exactly subtle about what he wanted, but I loved that about him. Giving him what he wanted was easy and made me feel like a lotto winner.

“And look at us. We made it the whole week and no one needed to sleep in the tub.”

“We did good.” I hugged him tighter against me. He wasn’t the only one who didn’t want to sleep. I wasn’t ready for morning at all.

“We did.” Arthur gave a contented sigh. “Never thought I’d say this, but I wish the week didn’t have to end.”

“Me either.” I took a deep breath. I wasn’t getting a better opening than that for all the thoughts that had been plaguing me all day. “Maybe it doesn’t...”

“Derrick.”Twisting in my arms, Arthur glared at me. I was violating the rules of this fling, but ever since that song about trying, I kept coming back to the idea that we owed it to ourselves to give this thing between us a real chance.

“Hear me out. There’s no real deadline for us to break up, right?”

He exhaled hard. “Other than the fact that my brother is probably chomping at the bit for that to happen.”

“I’ll handle him,” I promised, saying the words I should have said sooner. Calder was amazing and I wouldn’t trade our friendship for anything, but Arthur was Arthur, and I wasn’t going to let loyalty to Calder be the stumbling block to one of the best things I’d ever found.

“Handling sounds ominous.” He barked out a laugh.

“I decided to stop caring so much about his reaction.” Had I reached that conclusion sooner, we might have had one more night, and right then, every hour felt precious. “You and I already slept together. And like you pointed out numerous times, you’re a fully consenting adult. If he wants to deck me over us hooking up, that’s on him.”

“Yup. It is. But I also don’t want to tank your decade-plus of friendship.” Arthur rubbed my knee. “If we end it now, you can both pretend whatever happened was simply part of the ruse, maybe avoid a fight over this.”

“Perhaps it would be worth the fight.” Voice solemn, I put my hand over his on my leg. I didn’t say that lightly, but I also couldn’t shake the feeling that for the rest of my life I’d regret not fighting for more time with Arthur.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I don’t want to end it now,” I said firmly.

“Thought you were dead set against a rebound relationship—or any relationship for that matter?”

It was true that I really didn’t want another messy breakup like Steve, but a week of pretending to be Arthur’s boyfriend had left me convinced that what I did want was an Arthur. “But here I am having one anyway.”

“Here we are.” Arthur sounded so sad that I wasn’t sure what I could do other than try to gather him closer.

“You don’t have to sound so miserable.”

“I’m not.” He flicked a stray bubble off his chest. “More like I’m pouting because I don’t want to end it either, but I know it has to.”

“Does it though? Is there some rule that says we can’t simply keep it going? I’m likely to be stateside for a while. We can—”

“Keep hooking up?” He was a little too fast at answering for me. Frowning, I brushed the soap off his neck.

“I was going to say date, but sure.” Hooking up or friends with benefits was way more casual than I felt about Arthur, but I’d take him however he wanted it to be. “Whichever you’d be most comfortable with. I’m not looking for a label. I just want more time with you, whatever you want to call it.”

Arthur groaned at that, making me wince.

“Sorry. Not the most romantic answer, I know.”

“No, you’re all kinds of romantic and that’s the problem. Sex by itself makes it hard enough to remember I’m not supposed to be falling for you.” Stretching a leg out, he kicked at the faucet with his toe. “Dating would be like signing up for the heartache express.”

“Would it? I don’t want to break your heart, but I also don’t buy that that’s inevitable.” I didn’t even try to say that I disagreed that the sex was that good because it was. Every time we had sex, I fell a little more for him. Earlier had been among the best, most profound sex of my life, and I wanted more, precisely because it wasn’t simply getting our rocks off. This was the kind of connection people fought wars over, and I was going to fight for him. “And for what it’s worth, you’re not the only one with feelings in the game.”

“Damn it, Derrick. You make it so hard to do the right thing.”

“Maybe there’s not one right thing,” I countered. “I’m going to miss you like heck whether tomorrow is the final goodbye or six weeks from now or six months. Guess I’d rather stockpile some more good memories if it’s going to hurt when we part no matter what.”

“Look at you arguing for living in the moment and worrying about consequences later.” He laughed and rubbed his foot against mine. “You sure we didn’t accidentally swap brains?”

“Maybe you’ve rubbed off on me.”

“I definitely did that.” He snorted. “More than once.”

“See? You make me laugh. I think I need more of your goofiness in my life.”

“You do.” His tone had shifted from playful back to wistful, but I continued to hold out hope that he’d see things my way.

“I’m not arguing that I’m your forever guy.”

“No? I thought you were the romantic here.”

“I meant more that I know you don’t date military personnel, but I was hoping that maybe you could make an exception this once, keep me around until Mr. Forever comes along.” I did an admirable job of keeping my voice even, not revealing how much I’d like to remove Mr. Forever’s spine. Or how much I wanted to be him. That part wasn’t happening, but maybe, just maybe, I could have this for a while longer.

“It’s not some random rule.”

“I know. It’s dangerous work and then there’s the distance aspect. I get that it’s not easy to be in a long-term relationship with someone in the military. But I still see some room for middle ground here.”

“It’s not the risk or the distance as much, although that’s part of it. God knows I get wrapped up enough in my work that I forget about even my in-town friends. It’s not so much about being lonely. It’s more that I watched my mom take a back seat to Dad’s career, over and over. He’d forget anniversaries and birthdays, and she’d always cover for him. Bottom line is that the navy let him get away with being a crap husband.”

This wasn’t the time to point out that his parents were still together and that perhaps they saw things differently than Arthur. He had real pain and a real point here. “Hence your thing about not wanting to be ignored.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not going to lie. My career’s important to me. But I also don’t think it’s possible for me to ignore you, not like that. Not the important stuff. What happened to giving me a chance to practice being a good boyfriend?”

“You are a good boyfriend. The best.” Leaning back, he brushed a kiss along my jaw before shifting sexily against me. “I want to say yes, if only because my wish list still has a lot of items left on it.”

I met him partway in a lengthy kiss, and I wasn’t too proud to use sex to push my case. We were good together, too good to pass up a chance for more time together.

“Then say we can try. Dating. Or casual if that’s your preference. We can figure it out as we go. All I ask is that you talk to me. When you are ready to say goodbye, say it.” My voice got thick there at the end because there would be a goodbye, no matter what. That much was inevitable. Mr. Forever would arrive, and I would gracefully take a step back. And try not to remove the guy’s spine.

“I’m not going to ghost you. I’ll talk to you. I’m not your idiot ex.”

“That you most certainly are not.” I kissed him again, softer this time, before whispering, “You make me happy.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Admitting it felt like giving the universe the power to rip this away right now, but I also couldn’t not tell him how happy he made me. Even now, my pulse still hummed with the memory of him with the kids, singing and dancing, and the pride he’d inspired in me.

“Do I get tub fun if I say we can date?”

“You get whatever you want.” Dating sounded marvelous, way better than any more casual option. That earned him another kiss right there. And the tub water was cooling rapidly, but I’d brave even the Arctic if it meant more time with him.