Fatal Princess by Ella Miles

Ri

We hotwired a car and found Lucy and Loki about a block away before we drove the rest of the way to Ryker’s new safe house in complete silence. Not even Loki made a sound, sensing Ryker’s agony and not wanting to add to it.

I drove following the in-car directions with Ryker in the passenger seat, his eyes open. Clearly, though, his mind was still on the last man—a man who was obviously a close friend. He shot and killed that friend to protect me.

I stop the car in front of a large Tudor-style mansion. None of us immediately get out as we stare up at the old home, full of character and vast rooms. There look to be so many rooms I’m afraid none of us are going to feel safe in the house.

“It has the top-of-the-line security system installed. I just finished installing it myself last week. I’ll make sure it’s hooked up to both of your phones too. It’s a fortress, and no one knows we are here. You won’t be found.”

I think of the tracker I swallowed so Beckett could always find me. I consider telling Ryker but decide against it. The only man who can find me here is Beckett.

Whether I admit it or not, I want Beckett to find me, if only so I can rip out his heart for what he did to mine.

Ryker gets out, followed by Lucy and Loki, and then me.

We all get our bags. Lucy drags her large roller behind her, while Ryker and I each carry small backpacks into the large mansion.

When we enter, the vastness of the house is overwhelming. The ceiling stretches three stories up. The stairs curve up to a long sideways hallway leading each wing of the rectangular-shaped house. On the first floor, I can see rooms as far as I look in all directions.

Lucy releases Loki, who runs full speed down the first-floor hallway. She looks at Ryker. “I hope you aren’t attached to any of the furniture. Loki loves to chew up new furniture.”

Ryker just smiles at her. “The furniture came with the house. It was one reason I bought it. I’ll sell it as soon as we leave. So no, I don’t really give a damn if a couple of pieces have a few holes, dog stains, or loose threads.”

Lucy laughs. “Some? More like all.” She follows Loki to explore the house, leaving Ryker and me standing in the entryway.

“This house had to cost you a small fortune. Why get something so big and expensive?”

“We have a couple of small safe houses, but many of my men know where they are. This house was meant to be a safe house for as many of my men as possible. I feel it’s my job to protect them, and a house like this could have done that.”

“I’m sorry you wasted it on us then.”

He turns to me. His body is weary, like he’s just weathered a terrible storm, but he pulls strength into his eyes as he looks at me. “Don’t be sorry—about anything.”

And then he walks away.

I shouldn’t push him, so I don’t follow him. I give him space to deal with his emotions.

Lucy is loudly making food in the kitchen, and I consider spending time with her, but I’m far too exhausted for her company.

Instead, I head upstairs and choose one of the first bedrooms with an attached bathroom. I sit in the tub for a solid hour before climbing into the oversized bed, hoping sleep washes away my exhaustion.

Beckett plays in my head the second I close my eyes. His cocky smile, his sharp eyes, his rippling muscles, his arm protecting me. And him holding a gun to my head.

He was going to kill me.

He was going to kill me.

He was going to kill me.

I repeat the words over and over. To remind me of the pain of what he did. To remind me that I can’t love him. To deepen the knife in my heart.

Tears spill onto the silk pillowcase, escaping my closed eyes.

It hurts, it fucking hurts. And I don’t know how to make it stop.

I lie in bed for hours, willing myself to sleep. I try to convince myself I’ll feel better in the morning if I can just get some sleep.

But sleep never comes.

Agitated and uncomfortable, I decide to head downstairs to get some food. If I’m lucky, I’ll find some alcohol to soothe the ache in my chest and hopefully knock me out to sleep.

I walk into the kitchen and stop when I see a shadow standing in the kitchen. I reach for my gun before realizing I didn’t bring one down.

Stupid, stupid.

“Forgot your gun?” Ryker says.

A whoosh of a breath eases out of me when I realize it’s Ryker and not an intruder come to kill me.

“You scared the crap out of me.” I walk over to where he’s standing with a cabinet open over the fridge.

“Sorry. You should always carry a gun with you, Ri. You can never be too careful.”

I nod. “I know. Today has just been…” I sigh. “The worst day. I’m not myself. And I’m not thinking straight.”

Ryker pulls a bottle down from the cabinet.

“The house came stocked with liquor too?”

“The last owners must have left this bottle of whiskey, but it’ll do the trick,” he says.

I nod.

I find two glasses, and he pours the amber liquid. We each end up with more than three shots worth in our glass, but I’m still not sure it’s going to be enough.

Ryker takes his glass and walks out onto the back deck. I follow him, not sure if he wants to be alone tonight or not. But there’s something about being under the dark sky, the bright moon, and chill air that puts everything in perspective in moments like this.

I lean against the railing of the deck as I sip my drink. Ryker does the same.

For a moment, there is just comfortable silence between us as we drink and look up at the sky. All of our answers will be given if we just stand here long enough.

“Today was one of my worst days, but I don’t understand why it was one of your worst days, Ri.”

I sigh, not sure I want to discuss this with him. “Because today I learned how foolish I had been to give my heart to a man who obliterated it the first chance he got.”

“This is Beckett, I assume?”

I nod, almost ashamed.

“Tell me what happened.”

I chew on my bottom lip, not sure I want to open my heart to more heartbreak of having to relive it all. But I need to talk to someone, and after what Ryker did today, I trust him a lot more than before.

“Short story is I fell in love with him. I thought he fell in love with me. But in reality, he was just playing me. He thought I was the one responsible for killing his wife. Instead of talking to me about it, he decided to kill me as retribution in front of his people.”

My hand shakes as I speak, and I find I’m rattled to my core as I speak the truth of what happened.

Ryker places his hand gently on top of mine, gently calming me with his touch.

“He’ll come for me. Tonight. Tomorrow. The next day.”

“To finish what he failed to complete?” Ryker asks.

“No. It turns out his wife is alive, so obviously, I didn’t kill her. But he’ll still come, though.”

“What makes you so sure?”

I look at Ryker. “Because he always does.”

I lift the glass to my lips and finish the rest of the liquor. It burns going down, making me feel something other than my broken heart for a split second. I wish it would last, but it won’t.

I only hope the mixture of exhaustion and alcohol now warming my system will be enough to get me to sleep soon. Sleep is the only way to numb the pain. Although, I suspect my heartbreak will even seep into my dreams.

Suddenly Ryker speaks. “I’m going to play devil’s advocate for a second.”

I narrow my eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I think there’s a reason Beckett always comes back to you.”

I shake my head. “I don’t understand. Because he hates me and wants to ruin me?”

Ryker laughs. “Maybe. You know him better than I do, but I’m going to call it something that is very much like hate. As rich and deep as hate, but it isn’t.”

I glare at him with a deep frown as I pull my hand back from his touch. “Love. You mean love.”

He nods slowly, eyeing me skeptically like he thinks I might punch him for even suggesting it.

“It’s not love. No one would try to kill someone they loved.”

Ryker goes silent, and I realize what I just said.

“I’m sorry—I didn’t mean—”

“You did,” Ryker cuts me off. “That’s okay, but you’re wrong. I killed Hector. He was a friend. It wasn’t romantic love, but you could say I loved him. Before today I would have said I would give my life to protect him. But then today happened, and I had to make a choice.

“I had to put you and my men above him. He wouldn’t have stopped; he would have come after us. I knew his skill; he would have eventually succeeded if I didn’t stop him. So I killed someone that I loved.”

His words hit me hard. I know the kind of pressure Beckett was under as the new leader of the Retribution Kings. Did he have to make a similar choice to Ryker? Did he have to choose between two people he loved? Between revenge for Odette and me?

It doesn’t heal my broken heart, but it does put his actions more into perspective.

“What do I do now? How do I get out of this?” I ask Ryker, not really expecting an answer but just needing to say that out loud.

He sighs.

“There isn’t any hope that I survive these games and get to choose my own fate, is there? I’m doomed to be married to a horrible man who will rape me and use me as an incubator for his sperm. I’ll be disposable as soon as I produce a male heir. That’s my future.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“No? I don’t see a way out of this. Not anymore.”

“Yes, you do.” Ryker uses a finger to turn my head in his direction, tilting my head up so that our eyes are level with each other. Our lips, our entire bodies, are so close that our breaths are hot on the other’s skin.

“You win.”

I chuckle. “Not likely. Vincent will never let me win. He’ll manipulate the last games to make sure I lose.”

“Maybe. Or maybe you find a way to beat him at his own game. You find a way to manipulate him into giving you the advantage, and then you kick all of our asses.”

I frown. “Don’t you want to win?”

“I want to ensure my men stay alive, that’s all.”

“But if you lose, that means you’ve most likely been killed.”

“As long as my men are protected, I don’t care.”

“You’re a better man than I realized.”

He smiles gently.

“But even if I win, I still have to marry someone. I still have to produce an heir to take over my father’s kingdom. I still—”

“Then you pick the best fucking man. A man you want. A man who will treat you with respect. A man who will love you like you deserve to be loved.”

“And you think you’re that man?” I exhale, barely able to breathe.

His lips brush mine. It’s a soft, sweet, tender kiss. His touch steals my breath and soothes my aching soul—two broken people sharing a healing kiss. The problem is the holes in our hearts are too big to be healed, even by a kiss like this.

He pulls back. “No, I’m not that man. You already know who that man is.”

Then Ryker walks back inside, leaving me alone on the deck under the stars with the tingle of his kiss on his lips.

I know exactly who Ryker thinks I should be with, but why couldn’t I have fallen for a man like Ryker? He’s kinder and more self-sacrificing than I realized. He deserves to be a leader in Corsi’s kingdom.

Instead, I fell for a man as fucked up as I am. A man who will never admit his feelings for me. A man who threatened to kill me. A man who has saved me more times than I can count. A man who fucking loves me but will put his pride first. A man who chose another woman.

Beckett Monroe.

I look out into the darkness. He won’t come tonight. But when he does come, I’m going to be ready to punish him for every transgression he’s ever committed against me.