The Lies That Shatter by A.V. Asher

Chapter Thirty-Four

Mercedes knew she was in a hospital well before she tried to open her eyes. Way too many times she’d awoken to the abrasive scent of medicine and the bustle of the halls.

She was so tired.

Tired of running. Tired of the fear that coursed through her veins every day. Tired of leaving her heart behind.

Mercedes moved her hand to pull the oxygen tube from her nose, but it was captured under something warm and solid. She blinked and opened her eyes to find a dark head resting on the bed next to her. Alec had his face buried in the crook of his arm and his quiet breathing reached her ears.

Mercedes gently tugged her hand free and laced her fingers through his hair. She stroked his temple with her thumb and tried to recall all the words they had said to each other. The memories of the car were fragmented, splintered into a skewed reality.

He’d told her he loved her.

Had that been real? She couldn’t be sure.

But the moment in the tunnel was vivid. The way he’d kissed her, raw and desperate, it was seared into her mind. No man had ever done to her what Alec could. One kiss and her body was on fire. He could make her forget the entire world existed.

That was way too reckless. If she was going to keep her sanity, she couldn’t let it happen again.

Jesus, Sadie, please don’t do this.

The anguish in his voice when he asked her not to leave filtered into her mind, and her heart cracked a little more. She had no choice; they were both safer if she walked.

Kristin might be all wrong for him, but she was right about how much he deserved a normal life. A stable woman who didn’t scream with night terrors. One who could give him a family and build a life with him.

Mercedes would have to let him go.

Alec stirred, and she knew she couldn’t touch him anymore after this.

His lashes flitted open, and his brow furrowed in confusion. Suddenly, he bolted upright. Those vivid blue eyes searched her face.

“Sadie?” Alec shifted to the edge of her bed. His hand cupped her cheek. “Darling, are you alright?”

God, she missed him so much.

“I’m okay,” she rasped. “Did you sleep here all night?”

“Aye, I told you I’d be here when you woke up.” His gaze roamed her face. “Can I get you anything?”

“Will you help me sit up?” Alec adjusted the bed and then helped her shift to sitting. Dizziness made the room swim, and she rested her head against his shoulder until it passed, then she sat back.

Alec traced the side of her jaw with his fingers, and she fought the urge to turn into his hand.

Mercedes swallowed, trying to clear the roughness in her throat. “I’m not entirely certain what happened last night. I only remember bits and pieces. But I know I’m alive because of you.”

His gaze was soft and unguarded, the way he’d looked at her in Scotland. The kind of look that could burn through all her defenses and leave her clinging to hope.

Alec intertwined his hand with hers. “Do you remember what we said to each other in the car?”

“Not much of it.” Mercedes shook her head. “I remember everything up to ordering a drink at the bar. Then it gets fuzzy.”

Disappointment raced across his face, but he covered it well.

What had she said last night?

He shifted and Mercedes glimpsed white gauze peeking out under the sleeve of his black T-shirt. She narrowed her eyes and traced the curve of his bicep to the edge of the bandage. “Are you hurt?”

Alec frowned at his arm. “Nah, it’s just a wee scratch.”

Mercedes lifted his sleeve up and gasped. A slash of deep red was staining through the gauze. She looked at him in alarm. “Just a wee scratch?”

“Aye.”

She reached up and turned his chin. A darkening bruise accompanied a thin slash on his cheek. Mercedes couldn’t remember him fighting anyone. “How bad was it?”

He shrugged. “Only lasted a few seconds.”

Ice grew in her gut. “And how did the other guy fair?”

“Not too well, I’m afraid.”

“You killed him?” she whispered.

“Aye.”

Mercedes’s breath caught at the simple word.

He’d killed for her. Again.

There was no remorse. Nothing in his expression showed he regretted doing what he’d done. But he was studying her. Silently asking if it changed anything in her eyes.

How could it? She knew who Alec was. He hadn’t asked for any of this, but he’d respond with whatever force was necessary.

She squeezed his hand and gave a little nod and he exhaled in relief.

“I’m afraid I have rather bad news.” He cleared his throat. “About the bar owner, Calvin.”

Mercedes’s eyes snapped to his. “No . . .”

Alec looked down at their intertwined hands. “I’m sorry, darling. The police found him while they were clearing the tunnels.”

No, no, no.

Mercedes covered her face in her hands as the tears pooled and slid down her face. Alec moved closer to her, drawing her into his arms.

Calvin. With his stupid dad jokes and his obsession with Star Wars. He was the kind of man who set up an Angel code system so women could feel safe in his bar. And he was gone. Another innocent life cut short because she’d brought death with her.

She bit back a sob. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

“This isn’t forever, Sadie.” Alec moved his hand up and down her back. “We’ll make it through.”

There was no we. It was just her. Alec just didn’t believe it yet.

The tears ran their course, leaving her with a sharp ache in her chest. It didn’t matter what she’d said to him in her haze, they were over.

A knock came at the door, and Luke poked his head in. “Hey guys, sorry to disturb, but Charlie’s getting antsy and the FBI is here to talk to you, Alec.”

“Aye, I’ll be right out,” Alec said.

Fear knotted inside her. “The FBI? Are you in trouble?”

“Nah, I don’t think so. They have some questions for me, I’m sure.”

It was so damn unfair. Cooper could kill and maim and destroy lives, but it would probably be Alec that would go to prison.

Her face must have given her away, because Alec cupped her cheek. “Don’t worry, darling. I doubt they plan to charge me for it. But I need to speak with them, or they’ll think I have something to hide. And we forced Charlie to go home last night for the baby’s sake, but she won’t be having it today.”

Alec leaned in and kissed her forehead. Her body stiffened in surprise, his closeness spreading warmth through her.

“I’ll see you soon,” he murmured in her ear.

It wasn’t the first hospital room he had left her in, and the sense of longing was overwhelming. She wanted him to come back, to hold her and tell her it was going to be okay.

It did no good for either of them. She would ask him one more time to go back to London and move on with his life.

* * *

Charlotte and Lukearrived with fresh clothes and a few toiletries to help Mercedes feel a little more human. Charlotte helped Mercedes shower and dress in Luke’s oversized football jersey and a pair of yoga pants. All Mercedes wanted to do was sleep, but she allowed Charlotte to fuss over her. The haunted look of fear and grief in her sister’s eyes was making her ache.

After she had given a statement to the FBI agents who visited her room, Mercedes racked her brain, trying to figure out why this had happened. None of it made sense. Her testimony was over, she’d played her part.

Why was Cooper still trying to kill her?

Retaliation wasn’t a good enough reason. Something else had to be the reason he would take such a risk to have her eliminated.

Scenario after scenario played out in her mind until one possibility finally stood out.

Goddamn it.

If she was right, the move to New York wouldn’t be possible. Mercedes clung to the hope she was wrong. She didn’t have it in her to do it again.

“Sadie,” Luke said softly, breaking into her thoughts. He had a wheelchair set and ready for her. “We’re going to take you to our place, aye?”

“You don’t have to do that. I’m just going to crash for a few hours, so you can take me to my hotel room.”

Luke and Charlotte exchanged a look.

“Alec asked us to take you to our house,” Luke said. “He’s already increased the security for you.”

“Oh, okay.” A tinge of warmth climbed up her chest. Alec was still protecting her, even from a distance. After they finished up her discharge papers, Luke wheeled her out into the hall. To her surprise, Declan was waiting for her.

He grinned at her. “How are you feeling, lass?”

“Meh, I’ve felt better.” Mercedes looked past Declan down the hall. “Has Alec been back?”

“Not yet. He’s going to be a bit. We’ll make sure you get settled.”

Fear crawled up her spine. “Has he been arrested?”

Declan shook his head. “Nah. Nick said they aren’t going to charge him. The footage clearly shows the attack, he’ll be okay. He has some things to take care of before he comes back. I’m going to hang with you until then.”

Mercedes tried to be reassured, but worry crept in. She knew it wouldn’t leave her until Alec was in front of her.

When they arrived at the house, Ezra was waiting for her in the living room. Anxiety furrowed across his brow. He wrapped his arms around her, and the scent of sandalwood filled her senses.

She sighed, knowing she shouldn’t give him any more hope than she already had. Letting him come back to her flat after leaving Charlotte’s the other night had been selfish as hell, and she knew it. Ezra deserved more than to be a rebound. But that’s what he was.

“Holy hell, Mercy. You can’t do that shit to me. Are you okay?”

“I’m exhausted. I can never sleep very well in hospitals so I’m going to go upstairs and lay down for a bit.” She looked up at him. “Can we talk first?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Ezra helped her upstairs to the guest room. The bed had a heavy faux fur blanket tossed over its fluffy comforter. She longed to dive into it. As soon as she closed the door, he tugged her hand, and she was once again enveloped in his arms.

“You sure you’re alright?” he murmured.

“I’m sure. They said I’ll feel terrible for a while, but I’m out of danger.”

Ezra cupped her cheek. When he leaned down to kiss her, she put her hand on his chest. Disappointment filled his expression.

But the memory of the last man who kissed her was still imprinted on her, and she didn’t want to let it go.

Mercedes stepped out of his arms. “I’ve been thinking about our plan for me to stay with you in New York. I’m not sure it’s possible now. We got a call from the law firm. They want to have a video meeting with me this afternoon. I don’t know if the job is going to stick around after this,” Mercedes said. Ezra nodded, his brow furrowed. “But even if it were, I don’t think my living with you, even short term, is a good idea.”

His gaze jumped to hers. “What? Why?”

“After what happened, it’s clear I’m not safe. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“There’s more to it than that. Are you afraid of where this might be going?” His hand gestured between them.

Mercedes lifted her shoulder and shook her head. “I just don’t know if I can give you what you need.”

Ezra studied her face. “What happened with Alec last night?”

Damn. She knew Ezra had picked up on the tension between them. Of course, she and Alec hadn’t exactly practiced discretion. Mercedes’s core clenched at the memory of Alec’s mouth teasing her.

Her cheeks grew warm, and she had a hard time meeting his eye. “Ezra . . .” She didn’t quite know what to say.

Ezra winced, taking in a deep inhale. “So you’re back with him now?”

Mercedes shook her head. “I can’t be with him either. He’s going home.”

His brow lifted. “Does he know that?”

“No, but I’ll make sure he does.”

“I know you’re unsure of being with me and I get that.” Ezra took her hands into his, massaging the muscles of her palm. “But, can you think a little more about New York? Even if the job doesn’t happen, I can set up whatever kind of security you need.”

The hope in his expression wrenched her heart.

The rational part of her mind was no longer in charge. She was running on pure heartache and misery. “Okay, I’ll think about it.”

He rubbed her shoulders. “Can I see you tonight? I don’t care how late it is. I want to come by and make sure you’re okay.”

The idea of being alone was terrifying. But Noah was gone, and she needed Alec to keep his distance.

“Yeah, that would be nice. I’m not sure where I’ll be but I’ll call you.” Exhaustion weighed on her, making her dizzy. “I’m going to lie down now.”

“Need company?” He waggled his brow suggestively.

She chuckled. “Nah, I’m good. I’ll see you tonight?”

“I’ll bring dinner.” She was grateful he didn’t kiss her again before he left.

Mercedes flipped off the light and pulled back the heavy blanket, fatigue filtering her movements. She couldn’t decide if there was still some of the drugs in her system or if she was just at the end of her energy rope. As she was dozing off, a knock came at the door.

When it opened, she called. “I’m all good, Ezra. Really.”

“It’s not Ezra.”

Alec’s voice made her pulse sing. He was standing in the doorframe, still in the tight black T-shirt. His hair was tousled and the weariness on his face gave away his exhaustion.

Mercedes’s heart rate quickened even more when he shut and locked the door behind him.

“Are you okay? I was worried,” Mercedes said.

“Aye, I had to go to the airport, and it took longer than I expected to get back to you.”

“The airport?”

“I wanted to make sure Kristin got on the damn plane this time.” A frown creased his brow. “Charlie told me what she said to you last night. I’m so sorry. She won’t bother you again.”

Mercedes closed her eyes and a deep tension in her muscles eased. She would rest better knowing she would never have to see them together again.

When she opened them, Alec was studying her face. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m all right. Just incredibly tired.”

He hesitated for a beat. Then he kicked off his shoes, pulled back the blanket, and laid down next to her. She frowned at him in surprise as he settled the blanket over them both.

“Alec, what are you doing?”

“Something we both need. Come here.” The huskiness in his tone sent a shiver through her. When he drew her against his chest, she didn’t resist. It felt so damn good, and she was so starved of his touch. He was right. She needed this, too.

“We’ll talk later, darling,” Alec murmured. “Get some sleep.”

Mercedes sighed and wrapped her arms around his waist. He massaged her back gently, soothing her aching muscles.

Her mind was too exhausted to try and fight this. All she knew was his scent was surrounding her, and his heartbeat thumped steadily against her cheek.

She wouldn’t question if it was a wise choice. She would just let him hold her one more time.