Dungeon Daddy by Golden Angel

Chapter 10

Esther

This was not where she’d hoped she’d be tonight. Esther’s hands shook as she peeled them off the steering wheel. In fact, it felt like her entire body was shaking.

She’d really hoped that she would go home and Jax would have an explanation that made sense. Something they could laugh about. Instead, she was even angrier than she had been when Cyana first showed her the pictures. So angry, it felt as if she couldn’t contain it.

Angry at Jax.

Angry at herself.

Angry at Cyana for showing her the pictures, even though she was relieved about that.

Everything was out in the open now. She had the truth. But what did she do with it?

Sniffling as her emotions wavered between rage and despair, Esther made herself move.

Pick up purse.

Unbuckle seatbelt.

Open door.

Stand up.

One step at a time. That was all she could focus on. If she thought much past that, she would fall apart.

The lights were still on in Cyana’s house. Leah and Cyana would be there, chatting and waiting for Esther to call or a text. Hoping she would to satisfy their curiosity. Boy, were they going to be surprised to see her.

She needed them so badly.

Instead of feeling as if she could barely move, she rushed forward, running headlong to the house and the safety of her friends’ arms. When Cyana opened the door, concern was clearly written on her face—Esther had been pounding on it. Throwing herself into Cyana’s arms, she finally did what she’d been holding back all night—what she’d been holding back for months now—and sobbed her heart out.

* * *

Jax

It had not been a good night.

He’d finally gone to bed after Cyana had texted him that Esther had arrived safely. Esther hadn’t responded to any of his texts, and he hadn’t called her. If she wasn’t answering texts, she definitely wouldn’t pick up her phone. If he could think of something good to say, he would try, anyway, and leave a voicemail, but right now, the words weren’t coming.

All night, he’d lain in bed, trying to think of the right words, the right apology, the right thing to say, but nothing had come to mind. He turned over her homecoming in his head, again and again, trying to pinpoint exactly where he could have changed the outcome.

The real answer, of course, was all the way back when he decided not to make a big deal out of Suzie’s request by not telling Esther about it.

He also couldn’t help turning Esther’s words over in his mind… repeatedly.

She thought I was cheating on her? For months? Why the hell didn’t she say anything!

He never wanted her to think that. Part of him was still insulted she would, but the more logical side of his brain pointed out all the reasons she might have come to that conclusion. Yet he still felt angry she hadn’t said something to him. Asked him. If he’d known she was hurting, known she was thinking something so extreme, he would have come clean much sooner.

Then he’d be drowned in guilt when he realized he was getting angry at her even though it was his own initial actions that had put them in this situation.

So, yeah, he hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep. Maybe a couple hours after he’d passed out from sheer exhaustion. Esther hadn’t come home. He still hadn’t figured out the right words. Now, it was Saturday morning, and he had to face his kids and tell them their mother wasn’t home, and he didn’t know when she’d be back… and they were going to want to know why.

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself out of bed.

One step at a time.

Get dressed.

Coffee. Coffee was going to be absolutely necessary.

Figure out what to say to the kids.

Maybe he should have spent some of last night thinking about that.

Focus. Get up and get dressed. Then worry about the next thing.

Thankfully, he had a little time before they were awake and moving.

Jax checked his phone again after he got to his feet, even though it hadn’t made a single sound. Just in case.

Nothing.

He sighed and headed to the closet. When the phone rang a few seconds later, he nearly killed himself trying to reach it with his pants only halfway up his legs, stumbling and flailing… only to discover that it was a damn sales call. Growling under his breath, pants now around his ankles, Jax did something he’d always thought was pointless.

He gave Esther her own ringtone, as well as all his friends, in case Gavin, Cyana, Leah, or Aiden called about her. He also gave his kids their own tone.

Before today, he’d never bothered. The phone rang, he answered it. He’d find out who it was when he glanced at the screen before picking up. Well, he didn’t answer for sales calls, but he’d still glance at the screen because he wasn’t giving everyone in his address book their own ringtone.

Now though… now he needed to know when it was Esther or someone who might have news about Esther. Considering how mad his kids would be when he fessed up to them, he wanted to know when they were contacting him.

When I fess up to them?

He examined the thought, and it felt right. He’d been lying to everyone for too long. It didn’t feel right to lie to them today, not when everyone else already knew the truth.

Actually, not everyone else. Leah might have told Gavin, but she might not have, especially if she’d spent the night with Cyana and Esther last night. Aiden wouldn’t know yet. Closing his eyes, Jax quashed the urge to bang his head against something. This was his fault. It was time to pay the piper and confess his sins.

Hopefully, his friends would understand.

* * *

Esther

“I can’t believe he was cheating on us,” Gavin huffed, shaking his head, huffing. The only reason Esther didn’t laugh was she was afraid if she did, her head would actually explode. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this hungover or the last time she’d drunk tequila, but the hangover had probably been the reason she’d stopped.

Last night, she’d had way more than was reasonable, especially at her age. God, to be in her twenties and able to bounce back after a night of drinking again, even her thirties when she’d be hurting for the day but mostly functional. Now? She was probably looking at a two-day hangover. Maybe three. God, she was getting old.

Although the cheesy sausage pretzel bun things Gavin had brought over were helping. Greasy goodness and the only thing that hadn’t made her stomach twist with nauseous rejection this morning.

Cyana and Leah laughed at Gavin’s reaction. When he’d shown up with food, Cyana had invited him in and—with Esther’s permission—updated him on the events of the evening before. Esther had stayed quiet, oddly disconnected from everything. It hadn’t felt good to hear Cyana’s explanation, but it hadn’t hurt either.

She mostly felt numb.

“Sorry, Esther.” Gavin had noticed she hadn’t reacted to his joke.

“No, it’s okay,” she reassured him, though her tone was hollow. Okay wasn’t the right word, but then what was? “He was kinda cheating on the group, even if he wasn’t cheating on me.”

Cyana eyed her. Unlike Leah and Esther, she didn’t wasn’t a hot mess this morning. Her hair was perfectly straight, hanging in its usual style, and she was wearing a workout top and leggings. The crazy woman had actually gotten up and gone for a run. With a hangover. Insanity.

“You sound like you’re almost mad he wasn’t cheating on you.” There was a little lift at the end of her voice, almost making it into a question, inviting Esther to share more of her thoughts.

She took a savage bite off the end of my cheesy sausage pretzel roll and chewed. There was some truth to what Cyana was saying. The others watched Esther warily, especially Gavin. She could tell he was concerned and wanted to help, but he didn’t know what to do. Hell, how could he? Esther didn’t know what to do.

Swallowing, she took a sip of coffee before finally responding.

“I think I am. At least when I thought he was cheating, it was… I don’t know.” Normal? Cliché? Something she could at least understand, even though it hurt like hell. This? She threw her hands up in the air, maintaining a tight grip on her roll. There was no way she wanted to lose that. “I don’t get it. Why didn’t he just tell the truth from the beginning?”

“Yeah, that was…” Leah’s cocked her head to the side, the messy bun of blonde hair flopping with her movement, giving her ex-husband/current fiancé, a look. “You’re a man. Why would he do that?”

“Don’t put me on the spot. I’ve never done anything like that,” Gavin protested, his Scottish brogue thickening, the way it always did when he was emotional or caught off guard. “Yer the one who does that. Not like Jax,” he added hastily. “But yer the one who didn’t tell me you got into a fender bender two weeks ago.”

“Because I didn’t want you to be upset when it was no big deal.”

He snorted. “She thought I wouldn’t notice the scratches on the bumper,” Gavin said to Cyana and Esther, ignoring Leah’s protest.

Esther stilled. “That’s a lot like what Jax said.”

“What?” They turned to look at her.

“Jax said he hadn’t wanted it to be a thing, so he tried to keep it from being one. He knew Suzie made me insecure, so he didn’t want me to know he was spending extra time with her and her friends.” Esther took another savage bite out of her pretzel roll, snapping her jaw, which made her head hurt, but it felt good to take out her aggression on something.

“Did Suzie make you feel insecure?” Leah asked curiously.

“Yes, but I never told him that.” Or had she? She tried to think back. “I mean, he knew I wasn’t thrilled about him having a young, gorgeous blonde as his TA, but it wasn’t like I put up a protest or anything.” She never did. Esther was easy. Low maintenance. That was how she’d always thought of herself and was proud of it.

“Clearly, he picked up on it, even if you didn’t say it.” Leah sat back in her seat with a thoughtful expression.

Gavin’s arm was wrapped around the back. They weren’t exactly cuddling, but they looked so right and comfortable next to each other, it made Esther’s heart ache. That’s what she and Jax once had. That’s what she’d wanted to regain. Instead… she got this. This was bullshit.

“You’re like me, a guesser. I think Jax might be, too, and you both just got your wires crossed.”

“A guesser?” Esther frowned. She had no idea what Leah was talking about.

“You aren’t great at asking for what you want—no, don’t look at me like that. You aren’t. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, I’m not, either, but you said Jax was surprised last night. How many times have you actually told him you want him home more often, and it was hurting you he hasn’t been?”

“I told him I didn’t like him working late so much.”

“Yeah, but did you say why? Did you tell him you wanted him to stop?”

“No, of course not.” Esther shook her head. “If he has to work, he has to work. I didn’t want to add to his burden by making him feel bad about it.”

“Hmmm… interesting.” Cyana leaned forward. “Jax didn’t want to make you feel bad. You didn’t want to make him feel bad.”

Esther opened her mouth. Closed it. Took another bite of her roll, this one even more savage.

“I’m not saying he didn’t fuck up… big time,” Cyana said while Esther chewed. Her tone was still gentle but firm. Tough-love-Cyana had come out to play. “Because he did. But if you never tell him how much it bothers you and that you want him to stop, he can’t be responsible for not knowing. Of course, that doesn’t undo what he did wrong,.”

Ugh. She hated it when her friends were right. Esther scowled at the last bite of her roll. It wasn’t sitting as comfortably in her stomach anymore.

A chiming sound made her look up. Gavin and Cyana were both checking their phones.

“Ah, about time,” Gavin said before tucking his phone away and getting to his feet. Cyana was already on hers. He looked at Leah and Esther. “Ladies, it’s been a pleasure. However, I have been called to a friend in need.” He glanced at Cyana. “You coming, too?”

“Oh, yes. Wouldn’t miss a Domtervention.” She leaned down and gave Esther a kiss on the top of her head while Gavin gave Leah one on the lips. “Stay as long as you want, sweetie. I have a feeling we’re going to be awhile with your husband.”

“Thank you.” An odd feeling of relief suffused Esther as she watched Gavin and Cyana go. She could have felt abandoned, but she didn’t. She was glad. Glad Jax was reaching out to their friends, especially since he’d left all of them in the dark for so long.

Glad she had some serious time to think.

Once the door closed behind them, Leah looked at Esther. She had dark circles under her eyes, and while she didn’t look like she felt as bad as Esther did, she didn’t appear to be especially chipper.

“Wanna go lie on the couch, watch a movie, and make vows to never drink again?”

“Yup.” That sounded perfect.