Dungeon Daddy by Golden Angel
Chapter 13
Esther
Most awkward dinner ever.
She’d waited until right before dinnertime to arrive home and was wishing she hadn’t. She’d thought the kids would provide a buffer, so she didn’t have to talk to Jax alone right away, but the massive elephant in the room actually made everything worse, not better. No one knew what to say, and every conversation felt forced. The kids got tenser with every passing second, their eyes darting back and forth between her and Jax as if watching a ticking time bomb.
Basically, it wasn’t comfortable for anyone, and the kids were happy to flee as soon as Jax suggested Jennifer take Daniel out for ice cream. It was the first time Esther could remember Jennifer leaping at the chance to take her little brother anywhere since she got her driver’s license, much less go somewhere to hang out together.
Unfortunately, the awkwardness didn’t abate with their absence. She and Jax were left staring at each other across the table. It was so odd. They’d been having dinner for years at this same dining room table, with the six chairs and the candlesticks they’d inherited from his grandmother. Everything was familiar. Comforting. Except when she looked at him, she didn’t feel as though she was sitting across from her husband, the man she’d been eating at this table with for so many years.
It felt as if she was sitting with a stranger.
Somebody that I used to know.
The song lyric slid through her head, sad and resigned.
“So...” Jax said, then stopped, gathering his thoughts.
Esther looked down at her hands. Should she say something? Should she wait? After a long moment, Jax took a deep breath took the decision from her, to her relief.
“I’m sorry, Esther. I know I already said that, but it’s worth repeating. I am so, so sorry. I shouldn’t have lied to you from the very beginning. I… well, at the time, it made sense, but looking back, I think I was just trying to make it, so I didn’t have to be uncomfortable.”
A small spurt of anger shot up, but she squashed it, biting her lower lip. She nodded, still staring at her hands where they were intertwined in front of her on the table.
“Am I…”
“What?”
“Did you really think I would have a terrible reaction? That I’d throw a tantrum or something?” The words came out in a rush.
“A terrible reaction? No, but I thought it would bother you, maybe even hurt you, then I would feel guilty for going anyway, but I also knew you would insist I go…” He sighed and shook his head. “I was trying to spare us, but in hindsight, that was the wrong decision.”
Esther chewed her lower lip. Okay, she could see that. She didn’t like it, but she could see it. She couldn’t deny she probably would have reacted just as he said. It would have made her anxious that he was spending one night a week—and sometimes Sunday afternoons—with a bunch of gorgeous twenty-somethings, but she would have never said so because she wouldn’t want him to think she didn’t trust him. She would have insisted he go if it was something he wanted.
She might have become a little passive-aggressive in expressing her anxiety, and it wouldn’t have been the first time that had happened. Yes, he still should have told her, but she was honest enough to admit she saw his point, even if it made her extremely uncomfortable, and she wanted to protest that she would have done no such thing.
One advantage of getting older, she had a lot of experience to draw on as long as she was honest with herself.
“It was. I get what you’re saying, but it still was.” He should have told her, anyway. Regardless of what her reaction would have been. Now, she had a reason not to trust him.
“Yeah, I know.”
She peeked at him. He looked so sad, leaning on his forearms with his hands clasped on the table. Not unlike how she was sitting, except he was leaning toward her, and she was leaning away from him. Esther straightened up. If they were going to talk and try to make this work, she needed to be more receptive. Oddly, changing her position made her a little less antagonistic toward him.
“What do we do now?” she asked, then bit her lip against the plaintive note in her voice. No matter what she did, the babygirl side of her kept trying to come out but indulging that part of her didn’t seem smart. After all, he was the one in the wrong here.
It wasn’t as if she could spank him as punishment. She didn’t even want to. The very idea made her shudder. No, Esther didn’t want to discipline him and doubted spanking would work on him, even if she kinked that way. Spankings worked on her just fine, but not the other way round.
What she wanted was for him to make it better.
* * *
Jax
Damn it.
It took every ounce of Jax’s willpower not to jump up, run around the table, pull Esther into his arms, and hold her on his lap, but he didn’t have that right. Not right now. Not when he’d fucked up so monumentally. He had to earn back the right to be her Dom.
“Well, Gavin gave me a suggestion this afternoon that aligned with thoughts I had and suggestions the kids gave me,” Jax said, treading lightly. He didn’t want Esther to think he was trying to get into her pants and nothing else, but the more he’d thought about Gavin’s suggestion, the more sense it had made.
Hearing the little whine in her voice, seeing the pleading way she was looking at him, called to every one of his Daddy Dom instincts. His babygirl needed him, and he needed to fix everything for her. Maybe Gavin hadn’t been wrong, which hopefully meant the suggestion would be well-received, especially since it wasn’t Jax’s idea.
“Oh? What?” Skeptical and hopeful, Esther’s expression challenged him to find the answer.
“I want more time with you. After Gavin made his suggestion, I talked to the kids this afternoon about how they felt about you and me going away for a weekend without them.” He held up his hand before Esther could say anything. While Jennifer was probably old enough to watch over her brother for a weekend, it would be hard for him and Esther to relax. “Jennifer suggested she spend the weekend at Katie’s, and Daniel spend his at Anthony’s.”
Esther relaxed backward, her expression turning thoughtful. Katie and Anthony were the kids' two best friends. They knew both sets of parents and knew there wouldn’t be a problem foisting their kids on them for a weekend. Both had come on multiple family vacations with them in the past few years and vice versa.
“That could work. So, we’d have the house to ourselves?”
“If you want to, though Gavin’s suggestion was to send us to that club in DC he’s been checking out, Marquis, and spend the weekend in one of their theme rooms. He even offered to pay for the room since we’d be his secret shoppers. He’s still thinking about how he wants to expand the Outlands and would like our impression of how Marquis has done their club.”
Dark eyes lit up with interest, and her lips formed a little ‘o’ as he explained the idea. Yeah, she was interested. Almost as quickly, she warily retreated again.
“So, we’d spend all weekend having sex?” There was a hefty dose of sarcasm ladled onto the skepticism in her voice, but he thought he detected a hint of wistful interest.
“No. We don’t have to have sex at all to test out the room, though I certainly hope we would at some point. We also wouldn’t spend the entire time at the hotel. There’s a show every evening Gavin would like us to go to, but otherwise, the days are ours to do with as we please. I thought we could go to the zoo and a few museums. Maybe even the Monument.”
Now she couldn’t push back her enthusiastic reaction as her excitement flared. Esther loved the National Zoo, and they had a list of museums in DC they’d always wanted to visit but hadn’t made to yet. The Washington Monument had been closed for construction the last time they’d been there, so they hadn’t done that yet, either.
Jax was absolutely not only interested in going to Marquis because of its rooms, though that was a big part of it. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how perfect its location was for dates with Esther.
* * *
Esther
A weekend in DC with Jax, both the kids taken care of, and it sounded like he’d be taking care of all the arrangements. She should be jumping up and down with joy. A few days ago, that was exactly what she would have been doing, so why was she holding back?
Because I’m still mad.
Whether it was lingering from when she’d thought he was cheating on her or because of the reality of his lying to her, she wasn’t sure, but she felt the truth of it. She was still mad and wasn’t sure she was ready to make nice again. Letting out a long sigh, Esther propped her elbows on the table and leaned into her hands for a minute.
Her kids wanted her and Jax to figure it out. Their friends wanted them to figure it out, so much so, Gavin offered to pay for the room. Yeah, he got something out of it, too, but he wouldn’t offer if he wasn’t rooting for them. Jax clearly wanted to make things up to her.
What did she want?
The sound of the chair moving on the other side of the table indicated Jax was moving. She heard footsteps coming to her side of the table, then two big arms wrapped around her from behind, holding her so tightly, cocooning her in warm muscles, anchoring her into place.
“It’s okay, babygirl. I don’t need an answer right away.” Jax’s deep voice was even deeper than usual, smooth and soothing, reaching into all the dark nooks and crannies of her mood and leaving them light and airy. “There’s no time limit. Not to Gavin’s offer, and not to how long you make me work to regain your trust. I’m not giving up… ever, even if it takes the rest of our lives.”
Esther’s breath hitched as tears sparked, flooding her eyes.
His words, his arms around her, reminded her despite her anger, despite everything, she still loved him and wanted to make their marriage work. She’d been willing to fight for him when she’d thought he was cheating on her. She was hurt and frustrated with him, but if they were going to work, she needed to be open to letting him fight for her. And maybe she needed to fight for him, too, even if what she was fighting was herself.
“We should go.” She nodded, doing her best to hold back the tears. “I want to go.”
“Good girl.”
The accolade sank in, warming her from the inside out. Leaning into his hold, she savored the strength and love she found there. Jax had always been her haven, exactly what she needed from him right now.
