Fiancée for Rent by Elizabeth Grey

Chapter 15

Kylie

I'd followed far behind as Liam stormed to the barn. I stood under the moon, a few yards from the building. Light snow fell, a scene that would've made any Christmas night magical. I channeled my frustration inside to keep me warm. I wondered if I'd been too aggressive, but given the man's track record with women this past year, I didn't entertain that as a reason for too long. I swallowed down the rejection in the car, focusing on what I did know.

Seeing my necklace sparked something in him, hitting some wound he couldn't face. What had my necklace brought up for him? A reminder of death? The death of his parents? Or did the fact I still wore the necklace my ex gave me bother him? And, if so, on what level exactly? I was afraid answering that question might mean I’d have to face why the rejection hurt me so badly.

My stomach knotted even as I bristled. The cool night air added shivers, winning over my heat as my body temperature dropped. As my lungs huffed in more and more air, the snow-speckled wind cut through me.

I would have gone in after him, but I hadn't decided if I wanted answers yet. Then a sound rose from the barn, a string of notes, mournful, dream-like, serene, and mystical at the same time, nothing I'd heard him play before. I had to wonder if the difference was my father's guitar or me?

He must've found the old guitar my father kept in the room with the mattress. He returned to the place we'd first been together and chose to play to work through denying himself this time.

Having been so used to country songs coming from that guitar, I was taken aback when a rock riff rang out. Then a thought crossed my mind. Since Isabelle broke his heart, Liam didn’t want to write or play, so whatever I'd done had the opposite effect.

When the notes flowed into a full verse, I eased my way to what warmth the barn provided on such a night. Once inside, I could hear the tenor of his voice, but I couldn't make out the words as he stopped and started. So he'd either begin writing a song or remained too upset to get one out without stopping.

I took a deep breath to settle my stomach as I waged an internal war about the best time to go in and disturb him. We'd already planted doubts in my family’s minds with our mismatched tale of our first fake dates, so I didn't want this fight or whatever the hell we'd found ourselves in to add to the family rumor mill. All of them had already dug deeper into him since we started dating. I loved them with all of my heart, but they gossiped and meddled with the best of them. Surely, they had a lookout for us posted at a window as they debated our relationship at this very minute.

I crinkled up my nose at the familiar barn scents of cow manure and dander and decided to forge ahead with my confrontation rather than hyperventilate in this odor.

I stood in the doorway, watching him sit on the bed and play. I fought back the tears seeing him, hair tousled, scruff on his face thicker after a few days of growth, guitar in hand. He looked a world away from the stages I'd seen him on. His lack of composure here, his raw talent showcased without amplifiers and soundboards, played my heart.

"Kylie," he practically choked on my name. Startled, the music found an abrupt end. "I didn't mean to upset you. It's not you at all. It's my own shit. I'm sorry."

"You rejected me." I stated as he set my father's guitar aside.

"I didn't mean to. I don't know what we're doing. This wasn't in the contract."

"There was a reason for all of those provisions—not to complicate things like this."

I sat on the mattress next to him, leaving a few inches between us. He moved toward me, then stiffened, pulling back.

"I'm not sure what to do with all of this," he stated, his voice low, soft, melodic, still warmed up from singing.

"You were playing again. That's good," I pointed out the obvious, hoping to get us on safe ground.

"Being here, being with you, being with your family..."

He stopped when pain swallowed his voice, darkening his eyes.

"It's my family? Or does it have something to do with the necklace?"

My question seemed to stop him cold. He looked at me wide-eyed for a moment.

"I wanted a Christmas like this one all of my life. But, I wasn't prepared for how it felt like. It’s brought up a lot I don't want to face."

“Okay. How can I help?”

"Oh God, Kylie. I'm sorry. I just don’t know. I am so far deep into my own shit show I didn't... Fuck, I'm a god-awful boyfriend, fake or not. But, what is going on between us, it doesn’t always seem fake, and that scares the shit out of me. And you hold onto that necklace, I have to assume you’re holding onto David, too. Not that you should forget him, but… I don’t know what.”

“You don’t have to. I don’t yet either. And the necklace, well, it’s the last thing he gave me, and it’s hard just to take it off, let it go. But, he’s gone and I’m here. I’m here. And I don’t have any more of a clue as to what is going on between us, what to do with it, but you can’t just run from me. Makes me feel bad about myself and all,” I said as a coy grin formed on my face.

“Bad about yourself? Well, I cannot be the cause of that. No, you listen, and you listen well. You are gorgeous. I mean, fuck, I want you so bad. Last night, it was amazing. I knew it would be. But it’s dangerous. We had a deal. A business deal. No physical contact. We've muddied the waters. I have no idea what we should do now. But know that if it weren’t for the complications, then I would have my way with you again and again. I want you more than I can admit."

"I want you, too," I admitted, and my newly revived heart broke again in my chest.

The ache made me grab for my sweater rather than my necklace. My necklace. With my insecurities soothed, the truth of wearing my necklace while making love to another man struck. My mouth fell open even though my lungs stopped working.

"We’re not so different. I don't want to deal with my shit either. And it isn't fair to place it on you."

"Sorry I placed mine on you," he said as his head dropped, and he looked away to the guitar.

"I didn't mean it that way. We've both done it." Don't bring up the necklace. I lectured myself. "But we need to start over now. Move past where we are to get back to the original plan. Can we do that?"

"Yes," he breathed out. "I would like that. But how?"

"Well, let's just go back to the fake engagement. Keep it simple. We’re adults. We have needs, and we tempted ourselves too much. It was bound to happen. You’re breathtaking. Especially seeing you play like that. You’re going to have to learn to act, too. Maybe, now that we've scratched that itch, we can see it for what it was and move on. It won’t be easy. I know."

"No, it won't be easy," he said, arms out to keep the space between us. "I have eyes. A memory. I can see you naked, hear you begging for me..."

"That's not helpful, Liam. I can do the same, thanks. We have to get it together. Start cold showers. Act. Just go back to the deal as we set it out if you're okay with that."

"I would love that," he said with a sigh, a boy scolded rather than the man I'd just asked him to be.

"So, you’d love it not ever to have to be with me again, privately, intimately?”

“What? No! You know that is not what I meant,” he spoke, his frustration shown in the way his words came out in short spurts of emotion.

I let go of a laugh. “I’m just teasing you. I knew what you meant.”

“Okay. Whew. But, I don’t know what to say.”

Yeah. Same here. What we know, what we can agree on, is that we need to take everything else off the table, go back to the basics of our contract, to not muddy the waters. So we can just enjoy our next week here together."

"So, friends. Not with benefits. For now."

I laughed again.

"You, rock star, can not be trusted."

"None of us can. So, can I set up one day this week? I mean, I know this is your town, but can I set up one day? Make the plans? There are some wineries I would like to visit."

"Sure, that sounds wonderful. How about tomorrow? We just lay around the house, though. Eat leftovers. Binge old Christmas movies. I haven’t watched any of my favorites so far."

"That sounds great. Maybe in the morning, we can take a little time to write. I've gotten my itch back. When was the last time you worked on a movie?"

"Too long," I spouted. "How about after breakfast we go out on our own for a bit and meet back up later in the afternoon for movies."

"Sounds perfect. Think your dad would mind if I came back out here to play?"

"No. I'm sure no one here would mind, but my dad will be over the moon to have the great Liam Hendrix writing tunes on one of his guitars. You will have made his year."

"He has guitars everywhere," Liam stated. "I'm not used to this style. I think the newness of the sound is helping undo my writer's block."

"He will be thrilled to hear that. And yes, he has them planted everywhere."

"Ah, I get it now," Liam stated with a short laugh and shook his head.

My breath caught when he looked at me the way I'd seen him look at the guitar.

"So, we have a plan. Let's go back and stop all the talk about us. Do you mind holding my hand as we walk? They're surely watching out the window."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," I said with a roll of my eyes.

"No. I wouldn't mind holding your hand at all, back to normal. But, we can't let the mind-blowing sex make us seem awkward around each other. They’ll think we’re fighting. And, Kylie, thank you for coming after me. I can't apologize enough for abandoning you like that."

"Ah, it was bound to happen," I semi-teased. "No worries. And Liam, I know I'm a writer, but I have to tell you, seeing you play like I just did, there are no words for your talent."

"That's the best compliment I think I've ever gotten, Kylie."

"So, onward. Back to playing the happy couple."

"Lead the way," Liam stated as he stood, offering me a hand to help me up.

When our fingers intertwined, I swore the spark could be seen in the room. We'd said a lot of words, even if we'd avoided the whole truth, left questions unasked and unanswered, but we'd gotten back on some sort of track. But, as we walked, I had to wonder how long that would last.