My Ten-Year Crush by Olivia Spring

Chapter Three

Istepped out of London Bridge train station, crossed the road and headed towards the restaurant Sophia had booked, which was only a few minutes away.

After I gave my name to the hostess, she showed me to our table. Right by the window. Perfect.

The restaurant had wall-to-wall views of the River Thames and Tower Bridge. I watched a boat gliding across the water, then looked over at a couple posing for photos outside with the iconic bridge as a backdrop. Didn’t blame them. I’d lived in London all my life and still never got tired of looking at it.

It was probably a good idea to order some drinks now so that they’d be here before Sophia arrived.

We didn’t get to meet often, so I wanted to make the most of the time we had together. Sophia had her own business, running a beauty PR agency, so rather than relaxing at home or being out with friends, her evenings and weekends were usually spent burning the midnight oil.

Once the drinks came, I scanned the menu. It shouldn’t take long to decide what I wanted. I always went for the chicken dish. Just like I always drank Chardonnay. Life was so much easier when I stuck to the same thing. No worrying about whether or not I’d like something. Change and variety were overrated.

‘So sorry I’m late!’ Sophia put her bag and jacket on the chair, then opened her arms to give me a big hug.

‘No worries, hon,’ I squeezed her tight.

‘Literally a minute before I was about to leave, a client called to discuss a project and I got stuck on the phone.’

‘Don’t worry! I know you’re building a PR empire. I haven’t been here long.’

Sophia exhaled, smoothed down the back of her fitted blue dress, then sat down. She was looking glamorous as always. Her shoulder-length dark hair looked freshly blow-dried, and despite it being seven-thirty in the evening, her make-up was still immaculate. And how she walked in those three-inch heels was still beyond me.

‘Thanks for understanding and for getting the drinks in—I definitely need something strong after the day I’ve had.’

‘You and me both.’ I took a large glug whilst Sophia quickly checked her glass. She had a bit of OCD. I’d already given it the once-over to make sure it was clean when the waitress had brought it to the table, but I let Sophia do her thing anyway. It was important she felt relaxed.

‘Oh no, what happened?’ Her face creased with concern. ‘Is it about the promotion? You didn’t reply to my text about it earlier.’

‘Yep. I didn’t get it. He said I wasn’t ready. Again.’ I filled Sophia in on what had happened. The more I talked about it, the more it felt like someone was twisting a sharp knife inside my stomach.

‘I know you won’t like me saying this, and I know he’s your dad and everything and he loves you, but he’s also stifling you. You need to get out of there.’

I’d tried leaving. Even though I hated the pressure of applying for jobs and the whole interview process, I’d forced myself to go for a second in department role an ex-colleague had put me forward for last year. Surprisingly, they’d offered it to me. Probably because she’d put in a good word. But when I’d told Dad, he’d said he needed me to stay.

I remembered how awful I’d felt when he’d told me that if I left, it would damage the school’s reputation. “How would it look?” he’d said. “My daughter—my own flesh and blood abandoning me to work at a rival school? We’re family, Bella. We have to stick together. I know you want to progress, and don’t worry. We don’t have any roles available at the moment, but just be patient. Something will come up.”

And so I’d listened to him. The last thing I wanted to do was let my dad down or cause him any unnecessary stress. I owed him a lot. Teaching was definitely my calling and I probably wouldn’t have got into it if it wasn’t for him. He’d given me a job when I’d completed my teacher training after I’d been rejected by some other schools. Of course I’d applied and been interviewed for the role fair and square like everyone else.

As harsh as he could be, I knew that deep down, Dad wanted the best for me. So I’d decided to stay. After all, he’d said there would be opportunities for promotion, so why upset him by leaving if something would be coming up soon? Staying meant I could keep my dad happy and still have a chance to rise up the ranks once a position became available. At the time it had made perfect sense.

‘It’s difficult,’ I sighed. ‘On the one hand I want to progress, but on the other I’m not sure about going somewhere new or making drastic changes. That reminds me, can you believe that I had a call this afternoon about the PEFLITC course? Someone dropped out, so they had a space to start a week on Monday.’ Just saying it out loud sent a shiver down my spine.

‘That’s amazing! So you’re finally going to do it, right?’

‘Um, no. Not exactly…’

It was Sophia who’d inspired me to look into the course. She’d studied French at uni, which involved a year teaching English in France. I didn’t travel much, but when I’d taken the Eurostar to go over and visit her, I was amazed by the experiences she was having. The different people she met, living in a new country, experiencing a new culture and getting paid to teach at the same time. It sounded so exciting. But by then I had already applied for my teacher training course. My career path was already mapped out, so I’d pushed the idea out of my head.

‘Why not? I thought you wanted to do it. You’ve been talking about it for years.’

‘I did… I do… it’s just—it sounded intense. Plus, it was too short notice. I just don’t think I’m ready.’

‘Now you’re starting to sound like your dad,’ Sophia sighed. ‘You’re more than capable and you know it too. What else are you going to do this summer? Go to Cornwall again with your parents? Try something new, Bella. Give yourself a new challenge. Call the language school back and say you’ve changed your mind.’

I hadn’t, though. Sophia was always trying to encourage me to grow as she’d call it. She consistently excelled in her career and was much braver than I was at making big decisions. Running a company meant she had to be. But for someone like me, signing up for this course was a big step.

‘Maybe… it’s too late now. I’ve already told them no and they had a waiting list, so someone else is bound to have snapped up that place.’

‘Hmmm…’ She rested her finger on her chin. ‘Not necessarily.’

‘Anyway, enough about my work stuff,’ I quickly changed the subject. ‘What’s new with you?’

‘Oh, no, you don’t! We’re not done talking about you yet. So…!’ Sophia leant forward. ‘Tell me more about that date you had last week!’

From one failure in my life to another…

Because she’d been so busy, I’d only texted her to say that it was a disaster and that I’d let her know more when we met up. As I filled her in on the excruciating details, Sophia couldn’t stop wincing.

‘Jesus… hats off to you for lasting that long. What a nightmare.’

‘Tell me about it. Count yourself lucky that you’re coupled up and don’t have to deal with the dating world.’

‘Yeah.’ Sophia’s face fell a little and she took a large gulp of her G&T.

‘How are things with you and Rich?’

‘Fine. Good! He’s so supportive of the business and the long hours I have to work. I’m very lucky!’ Her voice went up several octaves.

‘You are. Finding a decent man is like trying to run in quicksand. I just don’t—’ My phone started vibrating on the table. I glanced at the screen.

‘Aren’t you going to answer?’ Sophia frowned.

‘No, we’re out at dinner. It’s Melody. I’ll call her tomorrow.’

‘Melody—your uni friend?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I love her! Don’t worry about me. Especially since I kept you waiting because of a phone call earlier. You don’t speak often, so if she’s ringing, it must be important. Answer it. It’ll give me time to look at the menu.’

I definitely did not want to answer. I was pretty sure I knew exactly why she was calling and it wasn’t important.

‘Honestly, it’s fine. She’s probably just ringing about the stupid reunion next weekend.’

‘Oh yeah! I remember you mentioning that when you received the invite. That came around quickly. Have you decided what to wear yet? Please tell me you’ve changed your mind and that you’re going?’

Sophia took one look at my blank face and immediately knew the answer. Before I could stop her, she swiped my phone off the table.

‘Melody! Hi! It’s Sophia! Long time no speak. How are you?’

What the hell?

I was just going to leave it to go to voicemail. Now Sophia had answered, I knew they’d form an indestructible tag team and start concocting ways to persuade me to go.

I could hear Melody talking at a million miles an hour and Soph was nodding and smiling.

‘No way?’ Soph’s eyes widened. ‘Really? Oooh! I definitely agree.’

I could only imagine what Melody was saying to her…

‘Erm, Soph? Give me my phone, please.’ I narrowed my eyes.

‘Yeah, you’re absolutely right. Well, you can tell her yourself now. She’s just come back to the table, so I can hand you over. Great talking to you! Have fun next Friday, and take care. Yeah, you too. Here’s Bella.’

Sophia handed me the phone. At least she’d covered for me by making out I’d gone to the loo. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the incoming lecture.

‘Mel, hi! How are you?’ I mustered up all the enthusiasm I could.

‘I am sooo excited! This time next week, I’ll be partying at the reunion. I cannot wait! Anyhow, I spoke to Heather and she said she still hadn’t received your RSVP. What’s going on, B?’

‘Glad you’re excited! I’m not coming, though. Remember I said when we spoke last week? I’ve got plans.’

‘Liar!’ Sophia said loudly. My eyes popped out of my sockets. What was she doing, throwing me under the bus like that?

‘Whatever you’ve got going on, you need to cancel. Like, now. It’s not confirmed, but word is that none other than Mike Jones might be there, so you have to come.’

My phone slid out of my hand and hit the table. Luckily, I managed to catch it before it bounced onto the floor.

Shit.

I took a deep breath to try and stop my heart from racing, then put the phone to my ear.

‘That’s nice. Say hi from me. I’m sure you’ll all have an amazing time, but I really can’t make it. Our main courses have just arrived and I’m starving, so I’d better go, but I’ll call you soon, okay? So we can get a date in the diary to meet up. Bye!’

I hoped I wouldn’t get sent to hell for cutting her off so abruptly, but I knew her. Melody was persistent. If I didn’t end the call quickly, she’d persuade me to do something I didn’t want to. I had no choice.

Melody had only dropped that bombshell literally a minute ago and already my mind was all over the place.

I could feel sweat pooling on my forehead. Maybe they’d just turned on the heating. My heart was pounding and suddenly my throat felt drier than the Sahara Desert. I reached for the carafe of water, filled up my glass and downed it in one gulp like a sambuca shot.

She’d said his name.

It had been ages since someone else had mentioned it out loud.

‘You okay?’ Sophia frowned.

‘Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.’

‘You are so not fine. You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.’ She rested her finger on her chin. ‘Did she tell you? About the fact that you-know-who might be going next Saturday? Is that why you don’t want to go? Because of that night?’

‘No! Of course not!’ My voice sounded like I’d just sucked on helium. ‘Ancient history. We were just kids back then.’ I waved my hands dismissively.

Sophia knew the basics of what had happened, but not the full story. It was way too embarrassing. That was the kind of thing you kept to yourself and took to your grave.

It was easy to hide the fact that after it happened, I’d locked myself away at home, bingeing on Friends and eating enough Häagen-Dazs to fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool. Sophia had gone to France and Melody had gone travelling, so neither had been around to see how devastated I was.

Eventually, though, I’d seen the light and realised that I had to forget about him. Sever all contact. Put him out of my mind. Focus on my teacher training. Start preparing for my career. Move on with my life.

So that was what I’d done. I was over him. I was doing well. I had taken on more shifts at the department store I worked at to keep myself busy during the summer. And when term time came around, I threw myself into my course.

As far as Sophia was concerned, since I’d graduated, I hadn’t given him a second thought. I was strong and sensible Bella. A woman who knew that it was absolutely ridiculous to pine for a man who wasn’t interested in her. Whenever Sophia asked, I brushed it off and told her I’d been too busy to even think about him and that we’d lost touch.

It was absolutely the right thing to do. It was much better to find someone who did want to be with me.

I knew that unrequited love was painful and toxic. It would eat away at you slowly and there was no way I’d succumb to something like that. Yeah, it was fine to have feelings after a few months. That was understandable. But I certainly wasn’t dumb enough to still like someone a decade later. Pff. Having a ten-year crush would be crazy.

I mean, okay, occasionally I thought about him, usually whenever I was on a date. Particularly a rubbish one, so probably more often than I would’ve liked. Or worse, when I was in a relationship and I knew things weren’t going well. Somehow, thoughts of him would pop up, but I always made sure I pushed those feelings out of my head, quickly.

Like now: I absolutely wasn’t thinking about tall, dark, sexy Mike. The guy that had been my best friend for three years at uni. The man that I’d spent all day with during lectures and then studied with at our student digs late into the night.

The one who’d always made me laugh.

The friend I’d fallen in love with.

Who hadn’t loved me back.

Anyway, like I said, it was water under the bridge. At the time, I was barely an adult, so what did I know about love or men?

‘Oh, come on! You’re not even a tiny bit curious to go and see if he’s still as hot as he was all those years ago? I know things didn’t go how you wanted them to back then, but that was ages ago and you guys always got on so well. What if he’s single now too? And what if you two hit it off again? This could be your second chance!’

Ha.

I bet he was nothing like as good-looking now as he was before, and his personality had probably gone down the toilet too.

In any case, unlike Sophia, I knew the full story of what had really happened that night, and he’d made it very clear that he didn’t see me that way. Like I always said, if someone tells you something, believe them. The past should stay in the past.

‘Nope,’ I said firmly. ‘We were great friends back then, and yes, I briefly had feelings for him, but not anymore. It doesn’t bother me that he’ll be there. I just don’t see the need to go, that’s all…’ I shrugged my shoulders, hoping I’d said enough to convince her to drop the subject. ‘Anyway, enough about him and the reunion. I really am starving. Let’s order.’

I’d told Melody our main courses had arrived, but we hadn’t even called the waitress yet. See? This reunion was bad news. It was making me snappy, and I’d told more lies speaking to Melody this past week than I had in months.

Still, in just over seven days, the whole thing would be over and I wouldn’t have to think about the reunion or him ever again.

Next Saturday morning couldn’t come quickly enough.