My Ten-Year Crush by Olivia Spring

Chapter Eight

Present Day: July 2010

‘AChardonnay for the beautiful lady.’ Mike passed the glass to me. I took it from him in a trance. The sensation of the cold liquid inside instantly helped to cool my clammy palms.

Thinking about what happened that night had brought a load of feelings flooding back and my body was reacting to all the emotions. My head spun at a hundred miles an hour as I tried to process everything.

For a few seconds I felt wounded as I remembered how hurt I’d been, but then I reminded myself that it was ten years ago. It wasn’t important anymore. I pushed the flashbacks out of my mind.

‘Thank you.’ I realised he’d just called me beautiful, and before I could stop it, I caught myself blushing. So annoying that I still found him charming.

‘You’re welcome. So… we’ve got a lot to catch up on! I don’t even know where to start.’ He sipped his beer.

‘Going to be pretty hard to summarise ten years in ten minutes,’ I said.

‘Why ten minutes?’ Mike frowned. That was roughly how long I reckoned we had until we were surrounded again by the Mike Jones fan club. ‘The night is still relatively young, so we’ve got time. Actually, let’s make it more fun. Let me see if I can guess what you’ve done and then you can tell me if I’m right.’

My stomach sank. This was why I’d been nervous about coming to the reunion. Doing a my life since uni summary would only highlight how little I’d achieved.

‘So I reckon you became a kick-ass teacher, travelled around the world and had some romantic adventures along the way. Am I right?’

Describing my love life as a series of romantic adventures was a bit of a stretch. More like dating disasters. Although I’d dreamed about going to far-flung destinations like Asia and Australia, I’d hardly travelled anywhere abroad. Just to short-haul destinations like France and Spain a few times. He was correct about me becoming a teacher, though. Kick-ass might be overstating things, but it was sweet of him to say that.

‘Actually, I enrolled to do my training, then I decided that teaching wasn’t for me, so I dropped out and got a job as an exotic dancer in a nightclub where I met my first husband. We then travelled around the world on his private jet for several years until we got divorced and I married my current husband, who’s a seventy-year-old billionaire, so now I’m just a lady who lunches.’ I smirked.

‘As if!’ he laughed. ‘We may not have seen each other for a while, but I know you, Bells. And there’s no way you’d give up your dream of being a teacher to become the wife of a sugar daddy. You’re too good for that.’

‘Well, you know what they say about good girls…,’ I teased.

‘I do, but you don’t have a bad bone in your body. Come on, truthfully: what have you been up to? And whatever happened to staying in touch and being friends forever? I tried to message you so many times.’

This was what I’d been dreading. I knew Mike would bring this up. He was right. He might have rejected me that night, but the reason we hadn’t spoken since was primarily down to me.

I’d wanted to keep in touch and wished I could have spoken to him every day, but I just couldn’t bring myself to. I was embarrassed. I’d stupidly mistaken our friendship for something more. I didn’t want to know why I wasn’t girlfriend material. Or hear all about who he was dating. It was already too painful.

Cutting all contact was the only way I could make the pain go away. Every time I saw Mike’s name flash up on my phone, it was a reminder of the rejection and also how much I missed him. And I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life pining over Mike, so I had to try and forget about everything that had happened. I couldn’t tell him that, though.

‘You were right the first time,’ I added quickly to avoid answering the question on why I hadn’t kept in touch. ‘I became a teacher. How about you?’

‘Same. You and I were always going to go into education somehow. It was in our blood. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Where are you teaching now?’

‘A school in Clapham,’ I said, being deliberately evasive. Maybe I’d mention my PEFLITC plans for next year. That would sound much more exciting. ‘But I’m thinking about—’

‘There you are!’ Ursula grabbed hold of Mike’s bicep, causing him to almost spill his drink. I was wrong about the ten minutes. I think I’d had Mike’s attention for less than five. ‘I’ve been looking for you everywhere.’ She gazed up into his eyes, fluttered her lashes and ran her fingers seductively down his arm. I wanted to be sick. ‘Bella, Melody was looking for you. Think she said it was urgent.’

‘Really?’ I wasn’t sure whether or not to believe her. It was true that I hadn’t seen her all night, though, so I should really go and find her and say hi. After all, it was Melody who’d been so insistent that I come. ‘Where did you see her?’

‘By the toilets. If you hurry, she might still be there.’

‘Right… well, I’d better go.’ I smiled at Mike.

‘See you later, and I hope everything’s okay with Mel.’

‘Thanks.’

It took me almost half an hour to track Melody down. Partly because I kept bumping into so many different people. Seeing everyone again was bittersweet. On the one hand, it was nice to catch up and hear about what they’d been doing. But on the other, as I’d suspected, hearing about their amazing jobs only highlighted how unhappy I was with my own.

Whilst of course it wasn’t true for everyone, some people had gone on to do fantastic things. They’d travelled the world, tried different careers, and had adventures. But what had I done? Just stuck to the same old thing. Ten years on, I was still boring, safe, predictable Bella.

I could have done more with my life, but the truth was, I was afraid.

Take tonight: I almost hadn’t come because I was worried about seeing everyone again. But although talking about what I’d done over the past decade was uncomfortable at times, it hadn’t been as torturous as I’d feared.

How was I supposed to get promoted to second in department and handle all the extra responsibility if I shied away from anything that seemed too frightening? How could I inspire pupils like Mandy to achieve their goals when I wasn’t actively pursuing mine?

When that woman from the language school had called me last week about the PEFLITC course, instead of finding a load of reasons to say no, I should’ve had the courage to say yes. Maybe Dad was right. I was too sensitive. I had to get stronger. Something had to change.

‘Bella-boo!’ Melody had so many nicknames for me it was impossible to predict which one she’d use. There was also La, B, Aunty B. I couldn’t keep track.

‘Hey!’ I said as she practically jumped me, throwing her arms around my neck. My hair got caught in one of the many colourful bangles on her wrists. Melody was wearing a low-cut sparkly gold dress, with bright red Dorothy shoes. She also had a matching big red flower in her brown hair, which she’d styled into a beehive.

‘The party finishes in half an hour. Where have you been, darling?’ she slurred before knocking back the rest of her drink. Smelt like vodka and Coke. ‘Please tell me you’ve been in the toilets shagging big Mike!’ she giggled.

‘Sssh!’ My eyes bulged. Even though the music was pretty loud and most people were chatting, dancing or drunk, I didn’t want anyone overhearing. As far as I knew, she was the only one at uni who officially knew about my stupid crush (I reckoned Ursula was just bluffing). I didn’t want anyone thinking I was some saddo who still carried a torch for him.

‘It’s okayyyy! It’s our secret!! Do you wanna know another one?’

‘Okay.’ I linked my arm in hers to help steady her on her feet.

‘I just snogged Danny!’

‘Computer Science Danny?’

‘Uh-huh! Danny the nerd. Except he’s not a nerd anymore. He’s fit! And it’s been pretty hard to find any eye candy here tonight. So many of the guys have let themselves go. Already! We’re barely thirty-one and some of them are receding with beer guts. Not just the blokes either. I mean, I’m no oil painting, but crikey, some of them look a right state! Good news for me, though: more chance of getting lucky, if you catch my drift.’ Melody winked and threw her head back, laughing.

‘I do…’

‘I told Danny to take me home with him, but he said I was too drunk. Bloody cheek. I’m as sober as a judge.’

‘Course you are, Mel.’ I rubbed her back gently. I didn’t want to burst her bubble by telling her she was about as sober as a bride-to-be on her hen night. ‘Where are you staying?’

‘Crashing at Fatima’s.’

‘Good. I know you’re having fun, but you still need to be careful, okay?’

‘Don’t worry, Aunty B. I’ll be a good girl. Not too good, though. Do you know how long it’s been since I had a decent snog? Or any snog come to think of it. Since before the dinosaurs walked the earth! It felt amazing. I got the fanny flutters and everything. I’ve only got another twelve hours before I have to go back to being a mum. Cooking and cleaning… blah, blah, blah. I wanna enjoy my freedom whilst it lasts.’

‘I get that. Just be safe, that’s all.’

‘Okay, Grandma.’ Melody rolled her eyes. I knew I was being a bit serious, but Melody had got herself into trouble on more than one occasion when she’d drunk too much. There was the time she’d fallen down some steps and broken her ankle—oh, and when she’d ended up punching a guy who’d pinched her bum. Although he was out of order and deserved to be put in his place for his sleazy behaviour, it was her that got in trouble. I was just trying to help her avoid spending another night in a police station, or worse, at the hospital. ‘I’ll promise to be a good girl if you promise to be bad for a change. Deal?’

‘I don’t know about that…’

‘Come on, B! Take that stick out your arse and let your hair down. You shouldn’t be here chatting with me, you should be over there with Mike.’

‘I was, but then Ursula said you needed me. That it was urgent.’

‘Lying cow! All I said was how nice it was to see you and Mike together again. Nothing about needing you urgently. She’s playing you. She did that so she could get him all to herself.’

Classic Ursula.

I scanned the room and spotted Mike on the dance floor, swinging his hips to a ’90s dance song that sounded vaguely familiar. Ursula was shaking her bum like she was auditioning for one of those music videos where the women dance around the pool in skimpy bikinis. A few other women had gathered too. God. It was as if he was some sort of teenage heartthrob surrounded by a bunch of groupies.

‘Uh-oh…’ Melody’s face dropped.

I looked over again and saw Rebecca striding towards him. She still had long hair, which she swooshed over her shoulders. Rebecca was in her signature miniskirt, which she always wore all year round. Even when it was winter. Surprised she didn’t catch hypothermia.

Rebecca had her arm draped over Mike’s shoulder. I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. Ursula didn’t look too pleased either. Especially since she’d only just managed to corner Mike again.

He’d stopped talking to her about half an hour ago, gone to get a drink or go to the toilets, then had started chatting to Tunde (not that I was watching Mike or anything), and Ursula had tracked him down for what must have been at least the third time tonight. She wasn’t giving up easily.

‘Oooh, this should be interesting.’ Melody rubbed her hands together. ‘Rebecca and Ursula fighting over Mike.’

He’d choose Rebecca. He always did. No matter how many times they broke up, or what women he went with whilst they were apart, he always went back to her. I’d had first-hand experience of that…

‘Well, he certainly looks happy to see Rebecca,’ I said. ‘It’s almost the end of the party, so I’m surprised it took her so long to track him down.’

‘Oh no: this isn’t the first time they’ve seen each other. They were chatting for ages earlier. Heather told me that they hadn’t spoken for years…’ Melody came closer. ‘Don’t tell anyone, but word is that Rebecca got divorced a few months ago and is on the prowl for her next victim. She reckons Mike’s the one that got away, so is trying to rekindle stuff with him.’

‘Doesn’t surprise me.’ I shrugged my shoulders.

‘You should get your butt over there! Both those ladies know that there’s now only fifteen minutes until the party finishes’—she squinted at the clock on the wall—‘so they’re giving their get-Mike-into-bed campaigns one final push. You need to throw your hat—or should I say knickers—into the ring and claim what’s yours.’

Hardly.

‘You must be joking.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘There’s no way I’m going over there.’

‘Come on! You’re here now. What have you got to lose?’

‘My self-respect for starters…’

Before I knew it, Melody had dragged me across the room and we were just inches away from Mike, who had Ursula on one side and Rebecca on the other. So awkward.

‘Hey, Mel, hi, Bells!’ Mike smiled. ‘Good to see you on the dance floor!’ His hips were now gyrating to an R&B track. I tried and failed not to imagine what it would be like to be beneath them. He’d always been such a good dancer. If he could move his body like that here, God knows how amazing he’d be in bed.

Oh God. It really was time for me to go home.

‘Bella…’ Rebecca looked me up and down. I pulled my mind out of the gutter and forced a smile.

‘Hello, Rebecca.’

‘I see you’ve got rid of those glasses at long last,’ she sniped.

‘I see you’ve become very observant,’ I snapped back. She was just as salty as she’d always been. We’d never got on. I’d really never understood what Mike had seen in her. She had a horrible personality. Then again, I’m sure he wasn’t dating her for that.

‘Always.’ She gave me a fake grin. ‘So anyway, Mike, you’ll definitely come round on Monday night?’

‘Sure,’ he replied. The song ended and Mike stopped dancing.

‘And you’re coming for drinks now, Mike?’ said Ursula quickly.

Wow. He’d made arrangements with both of them already.

What was I even doing here? Standing in front of him like a desperado, fighting for his attention?

This was pathetic. I wasn’t some lovesick twenty-one-year-old anymore. I wasn’t going to get sucked in by Mike’s charms again.

I was worth more than that.

I turned around to tell Melody I was leaving, but she had already gone. I scanned the room and saw her stumble onto the floor. She really wasn’t in a good state. She could call me Grandma all she wanted, but I couldn’t leave her like that. I had to find Fatima and make sure she got to her place safely.

‘I better go and help Mel…’

‘But you’ll be back, yeah?’ Mike said.

‘Hmm-mmm.’ I walked off.

I absolutely would not.

After I’d sorted things with Melody, I was leaving.

I’d done what Melody and Sophia had encouraged me to do. I’d come to the reunion, seen some old friends and held a civil conversation with Mike, so mission accomplished.

Surprisingly, coming here had given me some clarity about my life too.

As much as I hated change, seeing Mike and everyone tonight combined with being passed over for the promotion showed me that it was time to do something different. Starting with my job.

I wanted to do a career that I loved. So instead of spending another second watching Ursula and Rebecca cooing over Mike, I would go home, get a good night’s sleep, wake up early and start working out how to do something more constructive. It was time to be brave and start facing my fears.

The romantic side of things would need to take a back seat for now, but if I’d had any doubts before, tonight had definitely confirmed that I was over Mike. One hundred percent.

I was glad that we’d exchanged pleasantries and cleared the air, but that was it. Like I’d said to Melody and Sophia a thousand times, Mike wasn’t the one for me. Never was, never would be. End of.