The Bear’s Nanny by Erin Havoc

07

KIERAN

MY PICKUP SIGHS into silence when I turn the engine off. My shoulders pressed against the seat, I watch the house for a couple of minutes before I decide it’s time to go in.

It’s been two days since Astrid started working for me, and it’s fantastic. There’s some kind of deal between her and Owen, and her presence soothes the kid. She always leaves him sleeping, and the guys take turns watching him so I can change into my bear and run into the woods for a couple of hours.

When I’m back, Owen’s always crying again, but now he’ll stop once he’s in my arms. He feels safe in my presence. Soon enough, he’ll understand he’s part of this clan. It’s a work in progress, and it’s all thanks to her.

Ever since I revealed to the Council — and my alpha — that my bear thinks Astrid is my mate, the others have been treating me differently. They’re nicer as if they pity the bear whose mate is a human. Whose mate he can never have. They’re right, but I hate the glances they shoot in my direction. I need no reminder.

I slam my car door shut and comb the clearing with my gaze. Everything’s normal. We have had no invasions, not since that one. Not since I found out the invaders were sniffing around for Owen.

It’s my sister’s clan. She messaged me sometimes, mentioning tension. Her mate, the alpha, trusted his brothers, and he didn’t see the coup coming. My sister ran. But they found her. And now they wanted to end Owen, too.

I healed well, but the incident has left a mark. As a shifter, I have an improved healing ability compared to humans, but a gash this deep still doesn’t look pretty in the mirror. I put these thoughts away. They won’t help me now.

A black Toyota sits by the entrance. It’s the one Astrid’s been using to get here. The very sight of it makes my stomach queasy with expectation. My bear, asleep until this moment, rises to the occasion. His presence fills my head.

Mate?

He’s been single-minded these days. I have a nephew to raise, and bears are invading our territory, but he’s too busy thinking about Astrid. My dreams are populated by her. Smiling, laughing, her hands on me. I wake up with a painful hard-on every day, without fail.

Is there anything I can do other than beat my dick off? No. Not at all. I’m still not quite convinced of her being my mate. I was raised among bears, and I made friends with fox shifters and swan shifters and the sort. Not exactly to my liking, but the wolves are ever in our presence. There are even the dragons of the Draak family.

No one’s ever had a human mate.

Even if I came to love her. Even if we got along so mind-blowingly well that I wanted to mate her. Even if I wanted to marry her and put cubs in her. Even then, I’d have to face the fact that I might kill her. The mating ritual is not pretty, or so I heard. It’s primal, raw. Violent, even. Other animals might have it easier. But the carnivores? The big ones? Fuck, it’s a risk even for our shifter mates.

Astrid looks fantastic with all those thick curves, but she’s still so small. We’re all pushing 6’4” here, some past it. Everyone’s big because of the shifter genes. I could destroy her with a flick of my wrist. I could hurt her beyond the point of saving. And that wouldn’t be love. Even if I loved her, I’d have to let her go for her safety.

The Council agreed to leave her be for the time being. But she’s not exactly out of danger. She’s being watched, and she must leave without ever learning there’s something different about Shadow Falls.

So much trouble; I wish things would be easier than this. I wish my sister was still alive. And her new alpha, the one who put her mate down, wasn’t trying to hunt Owen too. I wish my mate was just another bear shifter, and I wouldn’t have to worry about any of this.

My hand on the doorknob, I turn it and cross the threshold. My heavy steps echo in the living room, and I search for any signs of Astrid or Owen.

They’re not in my room, the crib empty. Not in the bathroom either. My brows dropping over my eyes, I peek into the kitchen. Deserted. Where have they gone?

My bear sits up in alarm; I sniff around. The place has their scent all over it, as expected. It’s hard to say what part of it is fresher. I sniff around, but the smell of food in the kitchen mixes up with the sweet, mouth-watering scent of her.

She smells incredible. Like apples, sweet and warm. My bear grunts inside me, her very scent hurting him. I can’t deny the attraction. My pants get tighter just with her scent.

My heart beating double-time, I whirl on my heels and stride back the way I came. I throw the door open and jump the steps of the porch into the clearing. None of the others are in, and I can’t ask them about her.

Before I freak out, I hear laughter. The clear sound rings from the back of the house. From the woods. Her laughter is a beacon, and I could make it out anywhere. She has a bright tone to it. It’s like she has few reasons to smile but, when she does, it blinds me a little.

I rush to the back of our place and enter the woods without thinking twice. Her scent is powerful here, and I follow it to a spot of sunlight in the forest.

Here she is.

The sun's rays filter through the leaves high up, bathing her in soft yellow light. It catches on her blond hair, illuminating her head and creating a halo. Long lashes bat her cheekbones, and her plump, rosy lips are stretched in a smile. Owen’s locked in her arms, hand stretched out to hers, where she holds a leaf.

She’s a forest spirit at this moment; a fairy escaped from old stories. There’s something magical inside her, but it’s not the same magic that runs in my veins or the veins of any supernatural. I don’t know what it is. But it calls to me.

My bear is awed to silence. He stands very still inside me, as still as I am. I let my gaze roam down her shape. The cinch of her waist in the colorful dress she wears. Her full breasts, the thick thighs hidden by black stockings. Astrid is desire, and I don’t want to run from how much I need her.

But I must.

She turns to me, her smile widening for a moment. “Oh, look Owen! Daddy’s here!”

My bear grunts. My imagination runs wild. I think of her with cubs of our own and her telling them this. I think of her beneath me in my bed, her lips open, her eyes half-lidded with lust. The knot in my throat grows thicker. This woman awakens things in me I had no idea of. Things that should stay slumbering.

Owen giggles as I approach the two. Astrid had been showing him a leaf with a caterpillar on it, devouring its edges. I stay with them, and I hear her telling me of their day and how much fun they had.

It doesn’t escape me she said I’m Owen’s father. And though I am not his biological parent, I swear to myself I’ll do my best to raise him right. To work in his father’s place so he’ll never miss a fatherly figure in his life.

Yeah, I won’t supplant my sister or her husband. And once Owen’s old enough, I’ll have to tell him everything. How he got here and why. How his father entered a misunderstanding with his beta, and how both he and my sister were killed in a cold-blooded coup.

I would never allow anything like this to happen to Owen. Whatever he does, I’ll defend him with my life. The rules of a clan are defined by the clan, and they’re enforced by the clan. A crime is always paid with exile or death. It’s the same with us, and it’s the same with every other. But my sister had enough time to tell me why she was running away. A coup is one thing. Killing innocents just because is another. Now they’re after Owen to finish the job. As if the kid has any fault in the whole matter.

I take him in my arms as we walk back to the house. He’s distracted and calm as Astrid closes the door behind us.

“He’s changed quite a lot,” I tell her. “Thanks to you.”

She waves a hand in dismissal. “He’s a good kid. But here’s the thing.” She raises a forefinger. “Kids feel when you’re afraid. They need confidence. So, I guess he was unsure because he felt how unsure you were.”

I cock an eyebrow, opening a tentative smile. “Are you saying kids are like dogs?”

She presses her fingers to her mouth and looks guilty. “Maybe? They’re cute, like pups. Big eyes and everything.”

I chuckle. “True that.” I watch her for a moment as she runs her fingers through her hair. It looks smooth, and it would look amazing roped through my knuckles. I clear my throat. “How do you like Shadow Falls? It must bore a city girl.”

Astrid crosses her arms and looks away. There’s light on her face, her lips tugging in their corners. “Not at all. There’s something about it, you know? Something that makes me feel at home.”

“Really?”

She nods. “I like it here. I usually go to the bar and chat away with Sabrina. She’s really nice.”

I keep the smile on my face and the tease behind my teeth. Sabrina’s a great person when she’s not acting ominous and saying shit that makes you think she knows more than she should. My stomach churns at the thought of what she might have told Astrid. But as weird as the witch is, she wouldn’t tell Astrid anything about us. She wouldn’t risk it.

“I’m glad you like it,” I tell her. “What about the car?”

She shrugs. “They said they’d let me know. I’m good. Sabrina lent me hers.” Astrid smiles conspiratorially. “It smells like herbs. So good.”

I chuckle. “If you like that sort of thing.”

She reaches out and punches my arm. It doesn’t hurt, of course. Instead, she wiggles her fingers, curling her nose. “Crap. You’re strong.”

I flex my biceps. Can't help but show off. “You think?”

She laughs. “You kidding? I have no idea what’s in the water of this place, but you’re all so buffed up.”

I grunt. She wasn’t supposed to notice any other man. “Yeah, I guess.”

Her smile turns into a smirk. She steps closer, cocking her head. Something changes in her face. There’s a flicker in her eyes. “But you’re the most buffed up. Is that what you want to hear?”

“No.” It so is. If she likes it.

“You are.” Her eyes take a long once-over of my body. Her gaze burns into my skin. “It’s a good look on you.”

“Which one?”

“The jealous type.” She tugs a strand of hair behind an ear. “I like it.”

I don’t tell her I’m not jealous. I just stare. At her eyes, her lips, the way her hair brushes her jaw.

Astrid’s face grows serious. She stares right back, and we get lost in each other’s faces for a long moment. It’s just us in here. Parted from everything else.

A car crunches the gravel outside and parks in the clearing. The sound shakes us both back to reality.

Astrid blinks several times, a shaky smile on her face. “I should be going. See you tomorrow.”

She picks her purse up from the hanger next to the door and leaves. My chest hurts to see her go as if that’s unnatural. My bear isn’t happy at the turn of events, at her leaving, but I can’t say I’m glad either. This is getting complicated.

Owen digs his hands into my hair, roping his fingers through my long strands and cooing something in baby language. I meet his eyes. “You don’t need to worry. I’ll keep you safe.”

He grins at that. And I wonder if I can keep her safe too. Because underneath her smiles, there’s pain. There’s a reason she ran away and found us. And there’s an understanding, an underlying force connecting us. And I don’t want to force her. But I need to tell her she has me on her side. Mates or not.